Kawartha Lakes Public Library - Digital Collections
Looking Back: Bitching
, p. 30

Hooper, John, Author
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Written: 31 August 1994
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Geographic Coverage:
  • Ontario, Canada
    Latitude: 44.35012 Longitude: -78.73286
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Protected by copyright: Uses other than research or private study require the permission of the rightsholder(s). Responsibility for obtaining permissions and for any use rests exclusively with the user.
Kawartha Lakes Public Library
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Lindsay, ON K9V 2Y6
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Full Text

This month, if you will allow me, I would like to deviate from my normal type of column and devote it to a little "bitching" about things that bother me. They are as follows:


1. Basically. When have you ever heard a word so over-worked? One evening I heard a gentleman with a Ph.D. use the word five (yes, five) times in the space of a three minute interview. Keep an ear open and you will find out what I mean.

2. "You know" How many times in the course of a conversation will you hear a person say "you know?" Sports celebrities are notorious for this. "We would, you know, have won the game, you know, if Chad, you know, had been up to, you know, to par, but you know, we'll, you know, make the play-offs just the same.

If I already know, as you say I do, why bother to tell me what I already know?"

3. TV anchor persons. How do they usually close off their newscasts? Just listen to them: they'll say "we'll be seeing you at the same time to-morrow." Well let me tell you, I've met a few anchorpersons and not one of them has ever said "hello John" and yet they have said they'll be seeing me again to-morrow. Shouldn't it be "we hope you will be seeing us again to-morrow?"

4. Ever go to the beach or swimming pool and see ladies in bikinis (that have less material in them than my pocket handkerchief) laying out in the sun or playing beach games? Then along comes evening and guess what? They have changed into a nice knee high skirt or dress and spend the next few hours pulling the skirt or dress down if it happens to crawl up an inch or so over their knees. I wish someone would explain that to me.

5. Sales Tax. Why don't the businessmen mark items with the bottom line? I don't like looking at an item that has a price of, say $100, get to the counter and after they have played a tune on their cash register, announce that the price is $115. Give it to me straight. When I ask how much, tell me its $115!

6. Don't you love the way TV and radio commercials can be heard by your next door neighbor but you have great difficulty in hearing what the characters are saying when regular programming resumes?

7. "I could care less!" How nice. At least if a person says that to me I know there is some semblance of concern left but if they say "I couldn't care less" then I know no hope remains. We had an English teacher who later became a principal and his favourite expression was "I could care less."

8. Car dealer commercials. Do you like being yelled at?

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Looking Back: Bitching