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PAGE 6, WHITBY FREE PRESS, THURSDAY, MAY 17, 1973 BRIRD w'S EYE by Jiu.-00.11i CUPID.. GET LOSTI No, 1 haven't got anything against love and ail that stuff but 'm flot that overjoyed with marriage. T'ie wedding season is upon us again and I seem to be caught up ini it once more. I've been to two already this season and another is looming just ahead. It seems to run ini speils. About four years ago 1 spent most of tbe best weekends in the sunîmer standinîg around in a good suit looking like a before shot for a deodorant. In my travels 1 have been to some lulus but so far nobody bas chickened out yet to leave us standing in the churcb. I should be so lucky. No mnatter what happens at the reception the wçddîngs are usually always the saine. The groom stands around before the wedding looking like the axe is about to fail and bis neck is in a verv precarious position. He glances nervously at his watch and the bride is almost always late. So ani L. When 1 go to weddings 1 count on the bride being late so I can scoot into the church at the Iast minute before the bride arrives. In those final minutes before the bride makes lier appearance 1 make a quick check of the other guests and then studiously pore over the stained glass windows and EDunh Droa P AlIRILEYTIREi SERVICýE 10os buad e* t.lut, Whhby 668-3356 13 90 -AJAX *LOCAL NEWS *pIus the filnest in COUNTRY PERSON TO PERSON .,COMMUNITY RADIO0 CHOO 1390 tlhe ceiling. At hast tie, bride arrives, resplendent ini ler finery, and, as if knowiîîg lier captive audience was waiting just for lier slîe briuîgs up theý rear of ber entourage as they make that restrained walk down thie aisle. As the bride approaches, thie groom turns around and gives lier a starcby sinile. He's afraid- to show too nîuch affection or he'hl forget bis place and lie woiî't know what to say when be's supposed to say it. The part 1 get a Iaugb ou 't of is where the bride is given away. Just once I'd like to see a wedding wlîere nobody gives thie bride away. Can't you see the nîinister's eyebrows shoot up when Rie asks who gives thie bride away and nobody answers. Then after thie usual do ydu and wilt thou tbe bappy couple take off to a little room to sign thie certificate. At a recent wedding tRie groom signed tbe marriage certificate and tbeuî gave it back to tbe mini- ster. Nice try but the minister saw through it and made hum take it back. The next part is back to the cburcb, after what seenîs like forever to thie guests, anîd then a quick prance up tbe aishe and out thie door s0 tlîey can stand on the steps for inspection. And don't ever thiuîk otherwise because inspection is just wbat ail thie relatives are doing to see if he or she made a good catch. Onice the pbotograpber is satisfied lie bas captured ail the happiness everybody departs to thie reception, sometimes delayed for a quick nip to thie bride or groom's house for a little siîort. 1 remnember at a wed- ding last year as we were ail stanîding outside the clîurch thie bride started to nag thie groom before thie ink was even dry on thie certificate. At tRie time 1 thouglit to inyself, 'boy, it 's going to be a funi reception'. 1 had visions of thie bride making thie groom jtimp througli a Rioop of fire to entertain thie guests. That particular reception stands out ini my mmnd. On a scale of one to 10 1 would rate that onîe about 11/. We went to the chureh hall for thie reception and even thoughi it wvas hot as youi know what, thie food had been set out at least ail hour before Riand. We liad warm cuts and stale bread. Good for the stomach 1 guess. Anyway nobody mnade any speeclîs except for thîe brides' father who got up and said there wotihd be a party at bis place after and did everybody know where bis bouse was located. Nobody indicated that they knew where tbe place wýas, but undaunted heiemme- diately sat down without saying another word. Toasting thie bride had to be thie best part. Thie serving ladies came around witl onie oh those enamel hospital tbings and pitched thie warm water out of our glasses into it and then poured into thie saine glass some bitter grapefruit juice. Let me tell you that marriages may be made ini heaven but 1 bad some distinct tboughts as to wbere that reception was going. In ail fairness I bave been to some great weddings but geez, why does everybody have to get married? Couldn't tbey just live together in sn, or better stili, elope? I'm getting desperate. I'm run*nng out of suits, good weekends and money and pretty soon l'Il be ready to write a book on cburch ceilings. l'Il cali it, &The Uncoinfortable Pew'. Gounoillors kick it around The Wlîitby Town Councihiors accepted tRie challenge from thie Whit- by Soccer Association to play an exhibition game at Peel Park last Satur- day. Thie Councillors teain wras made up oh: Riglît Wiuîger and Captain, Mayor Des Newman; Righit Defence, Reeve Tom Edwards; Leht Win- ger, Coun. Don Love- hock; and backed up by Couuicillors Gerry Emm, Bihl Livitigstonl, aui dJin Gartshore; with Coun. Art Desjardine minding the goal. Thie mayor's tearn was assisted by: irecreation director Gerry Gelette; Plaîînîng director Keith Birch; Clerk Bill Wallace, anîd his assistant Jack McNamee. Keitb Birch scored the first goal for thie Ma- yor's team. Don Love- Iock hound phaying in sandhes a litthe tough, but maniaged to score auîyway. Martini Doleweerd sc- ored 'twice for the coa- cRies anîd was backed up by the W.M.S.A. presi- dent Bill Van derlolff witb one goal. Des Newman took ad- vantage of a penalty kick to sbow bis soccer abi- lity by slipping tbe bail past the coaches" goalie for another point. Five minutes before tbe final wbistle, tbe ex- ecutives of tbe W.M.S.A. got sneaky and brought in some of tbeir more talented coacbes wbo outran tired defenceman Tom Edwards to win tbe gaine for the W.M.S.A. 4th annual Apple Blossom Tour - This Sunday the Whit- by Kiwanis Club is bos- ting their 4th Annual Apple Blossomn Tour at thie Red Wing Orchards on Hwy. No. 2 just west of Whitby. Thie tractor drawn ride gives an extensive tour of thie orchards witb comrnentary on tbe dif- ferent types of apples. 0f part icular interest is a .jiwanis Special" Chestnut tree that also gi-ows apples! Thie rides are contin- uops froin Il a.m. to 6 p.m. witb a silver col- lection taken to aid the Kiwanis in their charit- able work. 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