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PAGE 6, THUR SDAY, AU GUST 2, 1973, WHITBY FR EE PR ES EYE by , 1IMQewaï Avast ye Lubbers Shiver your timbers, mizzen the mast and poop the deck. Don't you just love that kind of talk? You're net a sailor unless you can swing that kind of fancy nautical talk. Although 1 have a great love for the water 1 have spent more time in it than on it se I have always gotten the dickens for using the wrong nautical terms. Or, more accurately, for flot using themn at ail. 'm the kind of guy who would walk up to the captain of the Queen Elizabeth and say, "Nice boat you've get here Duke." To me, if it looks like it might float and it holds a few brave people, it's a boat. What the heck do 1 know about spars and main masts and things like that. 1 rernember once almost totally destroying my kidneys because 1 couldn't find a john and just before disaster struck some kind seul inforrned me the john was called the head. The head! Now isn't that rîdiculous. Just walk inte the Whitby Hotel on a crowded Saturday night and tell the guys yeu just had a diddle in the head and watch the reaction. And when you're hungry you could starve to death before you find out the kitchen is really the galley. 1 thought the galley was a place where al the deck swabbers hung out. AIl these terms kind of get to Vou. Like trim the halyards. That sounds like a fussy shopper firing off an order to the butcher. Or how about when it is time te put up ýthe sail. Me, 1 say. '"Would somebody like to hoist that white shleet up on the big pole over there." 1To which somebody replies,.-011, You'd like us to hoist the mainsail." And then I say, -You do what yeu like on your own spare time but just get that white sheet up there and Iet's go." Well, apparently you can't just go, you have to get underway. Obviously I do ail the wrong thiings because l'in told I'm underfoet as opposed te underway. I mean it's silly really. You ask where something is and they tell yeu it's forward. Forward! Great, but what if the stupid boat is backiiig up? And tixis business about anchors aweigh. 1 thought they said anchors away se 1 tîirew the dumb thing ente the dock. What do 1 know? Now, the wheelhouse, that makes sense. When I looked inside 1 saw this great big wheel and a whole bunch of dials and gauges. The wheelhouse is the place where the guy who runs the ship yells throughi this long tube at some poor joker in the' bottom of the boat.. Yen hear sucb witticismns as, "'The helm doesn't answer sir!" If Isaw seme guy talking te the helm, whatever that is, I'd have him committed. ln ail my experience as a sailor 1 baven't heard the helm say a word. Here's another gem .... AII ahead full, and another is Dead slow. To me it has te be ail ahead, yeu just can't take haîf the boat forward..or can yeu? As for dead slow 1 would assume that meant stop as that is what most of us do when we're dead. Why is a bow a bow? And wherever did the term 4'stern' corne frem? 1 think way back when some weirde got ail hopped up on grog and sat around the mizzen mast ene night thinking up ail these crazy terms. He probably laughed himself te an eariy death listening te the crew flash around terms like, 'stow that gear' and swab the decks.' The only way 1 could ever remember the difference between starboard and port was because port had the samne number of letters as Ieft. Sailors get a funny look on their faces when you tell them te steer te the ieft. Or how about when - your boat strikes a reef and while you're drowning you say te yourself, '"Let's see, I'm drowning in 40 fathoms which would be approximateîy se many feet ef water." When I hear ail that sailor talk my timbers really do shiver and its a comferting thoughit te knew that at least when i go scuba diving ne matter what 1 do wreng 1 don't bave te worry about sinking because that's wliere l'in headed anyway. 1 tell you sailors are weird cats. BEER GARDEN The Whitby Lions Club is eecting 4,000 te 8,000 people te patronize its Bav- arian Beer Gardeni during the County Town Carnival this summer. The tent, at the north end of Centennial Park wil be 160 by 40 feet, 40 feet longer than last, with a seating capacity ef 425 persons. A staff of 60 Lions mem- bers and their wives wiil be on hand te serve beer and German food, August 3rd, 4th and 6th from 1 p.m. te 1 a.m. Passes which are good for the entire day of issue, wiIl be sold at the door. A Bavarian style band will provide nightly entertainment and the Whitby Brass Band wiII be on hand on the after- noon of August 4th. The otiier two afternoens, a local talent will be featured with honky tonk piano music. The beer tent was provided for the first time iast year and was weIl attended. Even larger crowds are expected for this year's carnival because of the Homecoming '73 cele- brations. The Lion's Club will have its popular train about town in service throughout the carn- ival from August lst te 6th. The sehedule for the train includes one - heur trips from Centennial Park at 7 p.m. and 9 p.m. August lst and 2nd, and'15 - minute trips from the park from 7 p.m. te 9 a.m. August 3rd. August 4th, Sth and 6th, there wilI be 15 minute trips from Centennial Park from 2 p.m. te 9 p.m. GREENWOOD CONSERVATION AREA Fish, swim, take a Ieisurely stroil or just relax and soak up the sun, this pleasant 752 acre Metro Reg- ion Conservation playground is a fine spot for the famiîy tospend the day. Explore the mile of nature trail. Look for the Iabelled trees and signs of aniimal and bird life. Bring your own picnic hamper aAd use the barbeque facilities available. Hot and cold snacks are offered at the refreshment boeth. The Area has greup camping by permit. Just a short drive north- east of Metro, Greenwood is located ive miles north of Pickering off the Westney Road. Greenwood is open seven days a week from 10 a.m. te sundown and is one of the many Conservation Areas operated by the Metrepolitan Toronto and Region Conser- vation Autherity. g Sandwiches PHONE : 725-7071 57 KING STREE OSHAWA, ONTAF Super Deluxe Minced Loaf Mini Diii 1Pickles Torts Milk Hot Chocolate Pop (in cons) Super Deluxe Sub Mini Sub Itolian Salami Sub Hom Sub Minced Loaf Sub Cheese Sub -T E. 85 .55 .0 .55 15 10 18 .15 -20 1-40 90 .90 .90 -80 MONDAY - SATURDAY 1OAM-2AM SUNDAY 12 NOON ý-1*2 MID. Salami Hum Cheese Hot Peppers Pastr les Hot Soup Cof f os Hot Corned Beef Hot Corned Beef (on a Kaiser) (on a« Torpedo) -55 -55 *45 10 -15 030 -15 60 -65 BOND TOW ERS GI1 FT and CARD FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS WEDIJUINGS - ANNIVERSARIES HA NifENGRA VING Crystal (Pin Wheel), English Bone China and other items. For Thcit Special Shower or Wedding gif t Liadro Fine Porcelain $- $150 (BRIDAI REGISTER) WE ALSO HAVE A SELECTION 0F CHARM BRACELETS Also see our fine collection of handcrafted gift wear in the "Canadiana" Series BONDTOWE RS 576-5233 THE A L .NEIQaaEDQ -