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WMBA STEP TO THE REAR If taking a bus to Toronto and back is an example of modern public transit then Id rather drive my car and die of pollution. I must admit the buses are better built than they used to be but why do they all have to use those square wheels? If you ride the buses - you have my sympathy - you know what I mean.' Bus companies must get a special deal on square wheels because if you sit in the bus anywhere near a wheel well you spend the whole trip making like Easy Rider. In fact on my last bus trp I thought I would have to buy a truss for the return trip. I have always had this fear of riding in buses. I imagine that I will either be trampled to death or sleep through my stop. Mother nature has been kind to me. When I find myself in uncomfortable surroundings I simply fall asleep instead of passing out. My first bus riding fears began when one day a long time ago I pulled the stop cord to let the driver know I wanted off. The cord fell to the floor in rotten pieces. When I mentioned it to the driver he laughed and said I should take a look at the tires if .1 thought the cord was bad. I found out another thing about bus drivers that day. They won't give you your money back no .matter how rotten the bus looks. The driver said, "Sorry mac, youir money is in this little box and that's it!" I offered to hack open the box with the fire axe but he seemed to take a rather dim view of that so I gave up on the idea. I did have a fleeting thought of using the axe on the driver but then I realized he was taking more chances than I was, he had to drive the fool thing for a living. I still remember my last episode with the bus company. The bus was 25 minutes.late so I walked into the nearby gas station and phoned the bus company to ask where the bus had gotten to. Guess what drove by while I was talking on the phone?? And how about those wild names scratched on the back of the seats. I saw one that read, "For a hot time call Zelda àt 364-8764." At first I figured Zelda probably runs a sauna but then I got to thinking if I called it would be just my lack to get dial-a-prayer. Those lineups at the bus terminal kiIl me. I always wind up in line just ahead of some old gal who has an umbrella. I guess she figured I fell asleep in front of her because she kept prooding me with the umbrella so I would pay attention to the task at hand. WHITBY FREE PRESS, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1973, PAGE 7 I also found out that bus drivers aren't ail that fond of ten dollar bills. I don't ride the buses so I didn't know you have to carry $5 worth of iilver in your pocket at ail times. When I gave the driver a ten dollar bill he acted like it was poison ivy and this prompted a renewed outburst of umbrella poking from the lady·behind me. I turned around and asked the old gal if she could change a ten dollar bill and she called me a masher. Totally untrue! I've never even been in a winery. The whole bus trp I kept thinking my.insurance man would probably cancel my insurance if he knew I was riding the buses. The way that bus was zipping through traffic trying to make up time I figured the end was near and a certain young lady in Toronto would get rich when she cashed in the insurance. Anybody who has ever followed a bus in a car knows how much they try to make up time. Like when they pull away from the curb and they warn you with two quick flashes on the signal lights and then pull out like gapigbusters nearly removing the front of your car. I don't understand about the no smoking on the bus. If you aren't allowed to smoke why is the bus always full of smoke? One guy told me it's a new pollution device. He said they direct the bus exhaust into the bus and the passengers breathe it in - consequentlythere is no pollution. I'm still not sure he wasn't right. When I got to my destination my clothes-smelled of fumes. I walked into the office and the boss sniffed me and remarked, "Funny I didn't know there was a new outbreak of forest fires."' And how about the joker that always stands in the back doorway even though he, isn't getting out at the next stop. I went to push past one' of these types and ail of a sudden the bus started to pull away. I figùred the next stop is six miles away so I screamed to the 'driver, "HOLD IT!" Then everybody turned around to look at joker making the big scene. I can tell you this, after riding the buses it isn't hard to figure out why nobody ever hijacked a bus, not even to Port Perry. development circulating