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BIRD'S EYE e VIEW tIN OUAIL Here! - Take My Shirt! It's not too often all the population is united in a common effort but this month it's happening. We're all preparing a little form that gives the government the right to make paupers out of princes. This is the time of the year when the government gets those letters full of cliches about not gètting blood out of a stone and why don't you take the shirt off my back because you've taken everything else. All I can say is, "Me too!" Of course looking at the situation from the government's point of view duririg the month of April there aïe few, if any, honest citizens left, and going by the records, they're unemployed. Suddenly at income tax time everybody starts thinking like a lawyer representing Jimmie Hoffa. Fifth arnend- ments are pleaded and habeus corpuses, in the form of red herrings, are dragged all over the place. Normally sound and honest citizens get slanty eyes and even such questions on the form such as, "your name?", "your address?" cause eyebrows to shoot up and pens to quiver before the facts are put down on paper. Such logic abounds as; "If I tell them where I live then they can come and lock me up. but if I don't tell them and I am entitled to a refund they won't be able to send it to me!" "Maybe if I give them a general delivery address they'll send my refund there ..... but what if they have an agent BOOKS MORE AND MORE ARE DISCOVERING WELL WORTH A BOOK LOVERS THAT IT'S TRIP TO R.H. THOMAS BOOKS & GIFTS "THE SIMCOE CENTRE" 1251 SIMCOE STREET NORTH OSHAWA TEL 725-9500 (Next to the Self Service L.C.B.O. ) PERSONAL SERVICE - GOOD SELECTION - SALE BOOKS - SPECIAL ORDER SERVICE Whitby Jaycees present Millionaires Night & Dance April 19, 8 P.m. Heydensore Pavilion Advance Tickets Only Call 668-3392, 9 a.m. -5 p.m. 668-6355 after 5 p.m. 668-9912 after 5 p.n. L--------- --- watching the post office so that'when I come to claim the money????" Probably everybody's favourite section in the book that explains how to fill in the income tax form is the section entitled, "Deductions." Naturally, who wants to pay the government money, so the trick is to find enough deduc- tions to offset your income so you don't have to pay any taxes. One of the deductions you can claim is union dues. I'm not sure if the government would include the Klu Klux Klan as an honest and forthright union and I don't think they'd be too keen on reimbursing your dues to the Flat World Society either. As for the Union of Naturalists Dedicated to the Preser- vation of Retarded Woodchucks or maybe the Woman for Prime Minister Union of Liberated Females, somehow I think the legal beagles in Ottawa might just get a tich suspicious about the activities of these groups and if they wind up classed as "Subversive" then for sure it's no refund on the dues paid. Last year I asked for a refund on my dues to the Society For the Preservation of Scuba Divers in Pleasure Boat Waterways but the government, in their flippant manner, As ISee t by Rev. R. H. James Whitby Free Methodist Church May I express my deep appreciation of the article written by one of the Whitby Free Press personnel con- cerning an experience you and your wife and some friends had at the Spruce Villa. You tactfully requested some person sitting near by to change their language while ladies were present but an ignorant and disrespectful answer was given and after receiving further abusive language you and your friends left with the decision never to return. I am told that the public is protected by law from such persons who wish to flaunt their filthy language upon the public. Such people can be requested by the owner to leave his premises, if he refuses he can be arrested for FURNISHED OR UNFURNISREO APARTMENTS Mari AVAILABLE CALL 6686000 iF~ COTTAGE GALLERY 9 William St. E. Oshawa 728-4111 alizing in custom framing WHITBY FREE PRESS. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 17, 1974, PAGE 7 sent me back a little note saying there were too many scuba divers already and if a'few got run over ..... What is really bothering them is that so far they haven't figured out a way to tax scuba divers when they enter the water, but I'm sure they're working on it nights at parliament hill. You are also allowed to deduct tuition fees but the government has been known to turn down tuition claims for the Acme School for Pickpockets and the Betters Delight School for Picking Winners at the Track. Medical expenses are deductible but if you're buying your elixar from the L.C.B.O. the government obviously figures you are rich enough that you don't have to put it on Blue Cross and you pay cash for it so why should they exempt you. But I say to heck with them, I'm still going to claim for the bottle of "stay awake" medicine I had to buy just to keep from dozing off while reading the income tax return guide book. Morty Shulman, when you wrote, "How To Make A Million" you blew it! You could have made another million had you written a book entitled, "How To File a Crooked Tax Return And Get Away With It". Meck, 1 would have bought three copies myself and claimed them under "Capital losses". obscene language and public disturbance. When a community or nation loses its respect for the ladies of our community, we shall soon lose our humanity and deteriorate to a lower degree than an animal. I have every respect for managers and owners of our public meeting places, and their desire to cope with prob- lems that may arise, in order to serve the public in an honourable, respectful manner, whether it be Spruce Villa, Bowling Alley, Hockey Arena, etc., but society has largely accepted the permissable theory to do what you wish, say what you wish, at any time or place in the name of freedom of speech and freedom of association. Perhaps we need these terms defined. Freedom is to do and say what you wish provided it does not encroach upon the freedom of another. (Is not freedom a respect and dignity and honour for others present rather than my theory in life proclaimed). I have no right to preach to you at the Spruce Villa or anywhere else or to curse, use obscene language unless that is the purpose of the manager on his approval on your request. You come to eat in an eating place to enjoy it witlh music you desire. Tetters to the editor'î box 206, whitby il no Shoes April 22nd, 1974 Fine Quality Italian Imports with an Exquisite Canadian Line of Shoes Shoes for every member of your family We also have a shoe repair department. on the premises Opening Week Special Hours 9a.m. 6p.m. 121 Brock St.,N. Whty< 6 68- 7341 F. ALAN LAWSON C.A. TRUSTEE IN IANKRUPTCY 15Coburn tre (asf. Oshawavi. oUario? 1.1< G/iM/ f4M) 72,1-3800