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Alex Kalnins' odds and ends. scandals. I note that U.S. is knee-deep in a Washington You could call it, "The Great Supermarket Caper". I called it doWnright embarassing. The cashier called it, "another dumb customer!" About a year-and-a-half ago when gasoline shot up in price I pondered the fact that although we still have lots of petroleum in Canada it was going to cost us a lot more, and the only way you and I could break even would be to cut down on the amount we used. It was about the sane time that groceries took a hike as well but it's hard to carry on the same thinking with groceries because, unlike other countries less fortunate, we have in Canada an ample supply of food available and there simply is no reason for the supermarkets to warn you when you come in the door that you will be rationed as to the amounts of certain groceries you may buy. So anyway, gasoline rationing may come. but I fear grocery rationing is still a long way off. That's where my problem comes in. I try to go shopping right after I've had a big meal so I won't be tempted to buy more than I need but on the odd occasion I have to shop before I can have a meal because there aren't enough groceries in the house. That's when it happens. If I wander into a big supermarket instead of a local ma and pa store, I'rn headed for trouble. The last and most serious episode involved one of the biggest supermarkets in the area. I started out at the meat counter first and spent a few minutes browsing through the showcases trying todetermine what looked good. Most of it fell into that category so I flagged down the man in white and started past the long aisle of frozen foods and meats and immediately zeroed in on the shrimps. After that came a wide assortment of fish, most of them expensive. The dairy aisle, one of my favourites, yielded an enticing variety of cheeses, salads, pickles and cold meats as ACROSS 1 Be an- guished 5 Argument (hyph. wd.) 10 Do in 11 Harvest 12 Grotto 13 Bellowed 14 Smelter's concern 15 Chant 16 Paton's the Phala- rope" (2 wds.) 19 "- is hell" 20 "The Untouch- ables" hero 21 Pundit 22 Fourth Estate 24 Encountered 25 Remainder 26 She's "back in town" 27 Not opera- ting 28 Snare; seductive woman 31 Headband 33 By way of 34 Eastern rite Christian 35 "- of the D'Urber- villes" 36 Return to - 37 Poverty 38 Having fringes 39 Virginia willow DOWN 1 Style of neckwear 2 Light, mild cigar 3 Make merry (3 wds.) 4 Private - 5 French river 6 State (Fr.) 7 Fluster (4 wds.) 8 Adolescent (hyph. wd.) 9 Commanded Wl- 22 23 25 3i 1' TOOAY'S ANSWER 11 Hominy - 17 For fear that 18 Dolt 21 Seaman 22 Abundant 23 Elegant 24 Merriment 26 Subsequently 28 - out, (appor- tioned) 29 French river 30 Fettucine, e.g. 32 Take on cargo 35 Prefix for light 16 7 la 19 ix~ E sex scandai which could destroy his political career. If that happens, the moral should be: sex and politics don't mix. Can anyone remember what happened to another U.S. politician, Wilbur Mills who fancied a night club stripper and what happened also to the British War Minister Profumo when he decided to go out with Christine Keeler, a well-known prostitute?. Perhaps any man who holds a high position should remember that women can be dangerous. I think history has proven this point very well. In the case of Elizabeth Ray, alledegly Hays' mistress, there is no doubt in my mind that she's an extortionist and a publicity seeker. She has apparently posed in the nude for Playboy magazine and appears to be still using sex as a well as butter and quick-cook rolis. I whipped past the detergent section as I usually do and headed straight for the canned goods section. There were a few nice things but the best part about the canned goods section is that it ends up at the spice and gourmet food section. Of course that's absolutely disaster for me but at this point I was hungry, mesmerized and well hooked. I can't remember some of the details of the gourmet section because it's kind of hazy and I wasn't really in my right mind and ail that but I do remember heading for the bakery counter next. The gourmet aisle set the mood for the bakery section and so I went from worse to worser (if that's possible English teachers) and as it was early in the day the bakery section was chock full of a dehghtful assortnent of calories-stuffed goodies, ail concocted to make your wallet much thinner and your hips but fatter. Neither prospect was particularly appealing to me but then when i'm cursed with these moments of weakness I don't think logically about money going out and diets coming in. After a quick side trip for eggs and browsing :Lrough the rest of the pickle section followed by jams and sauces, I made for the produce and happily spent another half hour there proceeding to do my imitation of a purchase agent buying for the Canadian Arrny mess halls. The cart was beginning to strain under the weight. In fact the cart was so heavy it suddenly hit me that it was ail I could do to push the darn thing. One wheel audibly voiced it's complaint by squeeking loudly enough that most people looked to see what the noise was, and upon looking, discovered this cart completely overladen with groceries. On the way to the checkout I grabbed some cases of pop which were on sale and as I threw them on I inwardly hoped the cart wouldn't collapse this close the the checkout counter. It took my last remaining strength to get the cart to the chec'kout girl and I'd swear at least two of the wheels had seized up solid by this time. However the contents were quickly reinoved by the chec!:out girlone by one and the numbers fairly flew up on the display portion of the cash register. Finally, the grand total including taxes, gratuities and service charges, etc. displayed itself in the little cash register window and I chal'<ed. She read out the anount and I said, "I can read, I can read!". I started taking out ail the money in my pockets and after dragging out everything including pennies I was left with a Bahamas penny from a recent holiday and two subway tokens. I was staggered. I couldn't believe the amount ; had spent. As I got to the car I started to corne out of the coma, ran my hands through my pockets and yelled, "I've been robbed!" Chalk up another caper for the supermarket. EDITOR'S NOTE: By the way, Jim, we sec that you figured out your grocery bill on the back of your colunin before you submitted it to us. From the amounts you quoted we agree that you did get robbed, but isn't $5,845.09 for groceries a little too much for the average gourmet? WHITBY FREE PRESS. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 23, 1976, PAGE 5 "come on" tor possible financial gains. I don't blame Hays for bedding Miss Ray, but I sure blame him for being caught. The U.S. and Canada are two of the few countries in the world where sex is taboo and practiced only behind closed doors. One only has to mention the word and everyone gets uptight. C HAUIIAS on. Give usaclue! If you're listed incorrectly in your phone book, please tell us now. Before we print the new one. Look up your present listing, and if you want any changes, give us a call at 576-9101 before july 12 Bell Canada It's that time again for Firstly, a word about sex Congressman Wayne Hayes Speaking of newspaper headlines and 'head' writing is completely another matter. I have observed that the best headlines can be found in The Globe and Mail. Their head count is very accurate, thus making the headlines more attractive to the eye. The Sun's "heads" are the poorest- jumping all over the page. But, there is one newspaper in Oshawa which is unique in headwriting. The other day I counted the word "Oshawa" being used 54 times in headlines throughout the newspaper. That must be some kind of a record! 1% It is, perhaps, unfortunate that the once friendly relations between newspaper reporters-photographers and police officers are once again at a low ebb. Not long ago, police reporter Cal Millar was arrested by a Metro Police officer and later charged for failing to identify himself. Although the reporter produced his press card (complete with a mug shot), the police officer felt he needed a more "proper" identification. I see this as another form of harrassment, used often on newsmen. Cal Millar says he will fight his case in the courts. I hope he does well. 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