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Whitby Free Press, 10 Feb 1982, p. 14

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PAGE 14, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 1982, WHITBY FREE PRESS Who Pays for What? BRIDAL PULL-OUT SECTION A Happy Marriage: It Doesn't Just Happen Learning of the demise of aseemhinglyhappymarriage leaves most of us with feel- ings of shock and dismay., Experts now indicate that one out of three marriages is destined for the. divorce courts; a failure rate double that of twenty years ago. Certainly these statistics in- dicate the serious strains ex- perienced by a majority of today's wedded couples. What can account for. these staggering statistics? Many feel that today's mo- dern and expensive living conditions are causing otherwise compatible mar- riage partners to be'pulled in different directions. Social and employment pressures often demand couples not- only sepjrate during work-: ing hours, but that they at- tend different evening activities as well. With little or no time together, a bind- ing and-close marital rela- tionshin is difficult if nt marital relationship. If both partners,must, or choose to work outside the home, it is imperative that compatible arrangements be made. Studies indicate that couples having generous fa- mily support are most likely to stay together. However, this one factor does not seem to ovérride other im- portant elements such as intimacy, shared ideas, and common goals. Most ex- perts concur that marriages based solely on love and ro- mance traditionally yield a high failure rate. The great- er the mystery and romance, the greater the despair when the partnership faces trouble. No doubt influ- enced by high divorce sta- tistics, many of today's couples are beginning to ne- gotiate marriage agreements in consideration of Ï indivi- dual needs, expectations, and goals. Most marriages pass through three critical stages-the first being the honeymoon, or the commit- ment stage. During this period, the relationship is the most stable and the pat- ners the most romantic, as they have not yet been fully exposed to each other's habits and idiosyncrasies. As time passes, couples adapt to the habits and life- styles of their respective mates, and the second cycle of accommodation and commitment begins. During this period, part- ners continu.e adjustment and examine the relation- ship in light of their needs and expectations. If the couple successfully completes these stages and elects freely to remain to- gether, the third cycle, or re- commitment stage begins. impossible to achieve. The partners have now impssile o ahiee.Many find this leads to a proven their ability to com- It is a fact that couples new feeling of closeness as municate and solve prob- able to reach a high level of both major and minor deci- lems together. They now interaction mature in sions are reached while the need to continue the prac- intimacy and, all in all, have couple is exemcising tice of these skills'with the a far greater chance of stay- problem-solving skills. As joyous anticipation of ing together. Whenever pos- the marriage progresses, working together for the sible, job commitments these decisions can'be common enjoyment and should be flexible enough to reevaluated whenever the lasting success of their mar- be incorpoMated into the need arises. ls age. Gift W pping And Brides sWhen a gift is something - - special, the wrapping should be just as special. s Choose wrapping materials ceBanquet Hall to it the occasion andt recipienit. Ful caterig servie for Small tuck-in gifts, such So omeasuring spoons tied UP. 5pol with a tbow, are fun for 173 Brock St.N. showers. One gift becomes two if it's given in a reusable Wemstogethr.8T8y822 hatbox, covered with fbric or wallpaper. t

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