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WHFTBY FBEEPRESS;,WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 24,'1990, PAGE 5 You've Iikely walked in on this conversation many times before. You will again. t begins like this: So this fiend says, "There are no good television shows on anymore. Well, one. The Wonder Years. But beyorid that, nothing." Hey, corne on, I reply. Look, there's Dallas, and Dynasty, that's stili on isn't it, and L. A. Law. Don't. forget Hill Street Blues reruns.I "Sure," he says. "You'd talk about that. And those other night time things." You mean, I- say, Thirtysomething, the old St. Elsewhere, the Dallas and Knot's Lancling and stuf. "Ye'ah. They're supposed to be soaps, whatdayacall it, a slice of life. You ever watch those things'?", Naw, I say, those are ail too feminine for Macho Bill. Well, maybe I sneak a peak at Thirtysomething and used to see the odd St. Elsewhere. But only because somebody else in the household happened to be watching and I didn't want to seem rude. 'Well, if you neyer watch 'em, don't. I mean, the sets are terriflc, the acting likely the best nioney can buy. But there's nothing there. You can watch whole shows and be left wondering what the whole point is." SLook, I reply. Remember the old cocktail bars that used to put free pretzels and salted peanuts out? That's what these shows are. Sàlted peanuts. People sit down, eat one or two, three or, ninety-nine, then next thing they're thirsty, start order beer by the gallon. That's ail. The shows are just salted peanuts to keep you waiting around until the commercial rolls. 'Yeah, and the commercials are better than some of the shows." Not uiiexpectedly, I reply, since, somie one minute commnercials cost almost as rnuch as sorne shows. Pin sure I read that somewhere. If it ain't true, it could be. "Okay, sure, salted peanuts. So what could happen if someone came along and fed these People in the cocktail lounge a gourmet meal? First of lail, they'd WITH OUR FEET *UP by Bill Swan Sturgeon's law stpeting peanuts. Wouldn't taste good anymore. Scnthey wouldn'lt order gallons of beer. Maybe some wine. The point being." There is a point? in puzzled. "Sure there's a point, Throw soinething decent on television and people would become dissatisfled with the commercial s, even the shoWs they now watch. They would want something better." Look, I say, don't -you think somebody hasn'ý thought of that? We?-e talking about mass marketing here, and the naine of the game isn't quality. We're' selling breakfast cereal here, folks. I mean, Shakespeare's good, sometimes superb if done well, but I can tell you right now that Hamlet on Thursday night on Channel 17 ain't gonna draw Mfes. " Okay, yeah, maybe. But niy point, if there is one, has two prongs. First, that our entertainment industry bas stretched itself so thin that is is impossible for the industry te supply cquality to moviles and television and records. Impossible.' So? "lSo we're bombarded with crap. Crap movies, crap TV. And the second point: people have becomfie so used te this crap that they would watch anything. In fact, a lot wouldn't recognize quality if it hit them over the head." You'hl be watching Hamiet on Thursday, I asked. 've seen it.. Great stuif." Yeah, but I think your point doesn't hold up. It's fot the indu-Étry that's at fault. Let's turn the argument around. This ich entertainment industry is big enough and rich enough to, give us anything we want. Ergo, what you see is what we want. "But it's crap." Then we want crap. One other point: maybe if the industry isn't turning things out to suit your taste, itfs because your taste doesn't count any more. "You men.. Yeah, you're washed up. And one thing about your argument about ail that crap. You left our Sturgeon's law. "What's that?" Theodore Sturgeon, '50s science fiction write. Once at a seminar he waUs. challenged by a critie on a discussion panel. The critic adxitted lie wasn't familiar with science fiction, so te prepare for the seminar he had to, stay up the night before reading a whole pile of science fiction novels, magazines, anything hie could lay his hands on. 'You know " the critic said, "I read this whole pile last'night andin telling you right now, ninety pér cent of this is pure crap." Sturgeon, well known at that time but neither rich nor famous, shrugged it off. "Ninety per cent of anything," he replied, "is pure crap."0- Corbett sewage plant fais to meet guideliLnes By Scott Laurie The Ministry of the Environ- ment review of 1988 discharges from Ontario's municipal sewage treatment plants shows some im- provement over previous perfor- mance. 0f the 362 plants reporting in 1988, 253 met each of the three poical guidelines for phos- poususpended solids and biochenical oxyg en demand. In 1987, 233 of 371 plants were in CoWthi 10ô9 plants which were out -of conipliance in 1988,ý 97 havesocheduYèe remedial actions. The* remaining 12 plants have beninstructed to reporton how they intend te, address their excess. 0f the three treatment plants tested in Whitby * Corbett Creek, Pringl1 Creek 'l and Pringle Cree2, the Corbett Creek faci- lityfaled te meet the guidelines. Te plant failed on aIl three counts. According to Tony Ho of the ministy the region has pro- mised to igten its controls andi upgrade i ts processing techni- ques. Nw equipment for phosphorus removal is scheduled for installa- tion at the plant and the region predicts compliance with provin- cial guidelines sometime in 1990. The surveys are completed by the ministry's Municipal Indus- trial Strategy for Abatement pro- gramn(MISA)te help develo more comipreflensive standardsO for municipal sewage treatment plants. Currently, most »limits are in the formn of unenforcable guide- lines. Under the MISA program, tÉose guidelines will be replaced by a group of legally, enforcable limita. Copies of the report on the I-ONE ARlALRY 1988 discharges from sewage treatment plants in Ontario are available by calling (416) 323- Preliminary hearing begins By Scott Laurie The prlirninaryhern fo Ralp DoulasAcorn of Whnitby was held on Tuesday last week in Oshawa provincial court. Acorn, 45, was arrested and chariged with -the first degree murdier of his common law wife Christine Siochowicz, 38, last August after an eight-hour stand-off with police. A ban was placed on publica- tion of-information discussed at the' hearing. Witnesses to establ- ish character and a 45-minute videotape filmed by police at the soene of the crime were presen- ted te judge D.B. Dodds. The hearing was adjourned until Tuesday, Jan. 30. 66.6-4540 - Whitby location oflly... 1121 DuncasStreet En approuch to icatercolour Painting iising traditional and cxl)crl . mental tcchiil*qiieýý. Téaching h-, Élcmonstrcition) (liscicssion, critique and inditidital attention.* CLASSES BËGIN SOON 1ci t PEARSON LANES \I;tr,.- St. Wcst, CALL NOW TO REGISTER - 668-4-552