The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

WflB~FMEEPRESS, EDNESDÂY, JANUARY3W,1991, PAR; 7- k PAGESEVEN er 12>1ECx4AR'. F_ 51MEEK -fWE EAR114 VI . Stikysituation Her . ha yhmeary, the High Court of the County of S ~PR Humdumis ow n e ssion, Judge Yawn Stfle presiding AilU 011SGU (The cur ai e.)JJiL JUDQE ST[FL: At mma, at ease.. Irst case? CROWN ATTORNEY: The. Orown against Fiddle Faddle, a paet-th a arent, lack of common sne Mr. Faddlo e »is ced with iPareintal Pampering without a licence, and Over- ~~? ~ Ç~ JUG:Road the charge and prooeed. -- - COURT CLERK: *Mr. Eddle Faddle, you are chargod that on or about the twonty-sixth day of January, the year of our Lord, nmoten hudrodand ninety one, at about 1:30 p.m., you did wandor about aforesaid To Store loon for an item toofIF \$ -' OverIndulgent te mention. Hlow do you plead, gulty or not A BMFIDDLE FADDLE: WeIl, guilty, I s pose, but thore is an explanation. Will I get a chance te explain?__________________________________ JUDGE: Yes,, Mr. Faddle, you'il get you chance. Court___ __________________________ reporter, could yoli please enter the plea and let'a get on wîth it.i CROWN:. Mr. Faddle was =bovedm the store wandering amn hildren'stoys Whena Ied, he admitted that he waslooingfo chldrn'sply diahes that, are dishwashor safe. JUDGE: Are those fact correct? FADDLE: flioy are, Your Honour. JUDGE: This soee rather Indulgent, but lete hear, thia Ixlantion .:YFADLE:I admit this doms eund.lie an Indulgence. Pirst, picturo three children, live, six yoars old, playing on a Saturday afternooei:in ahoua i suburb. 'The father of one: of the childr n ntesanie ro, étigther a novel o layg computer ches. CROWgoring'children. Ànother heinous crime. DEFENCE: How would you like a handful of teth te donato te the tooth fuiry? JUDGE: Lady and gentleman! FADDLE: Well,,on.- child offers hum a sip of this new medicine she, just made up, which testes. much. like a sucker dissolved in water. JUDGE: Play water? FADDLE: No. Tlins was rosi sucker juice im a bowl. Tusted kcind of good,,really. CROWN: That was it? FADDLE: Not exactly. The father got distractod somne more, and thon over the. next haif hour tatod five, Six samples of the stuff: Sucker Juice à la. Bubblegum, Suckor Juice Supreme, Sucker Juice 'à la Candy Kias, and finally, Smuarties ini a Haif Sheil, or Turtfe Power Cocktail. JUDGE: Yoii actuaily ATE thia etuff7 N FADDLE: Well, sippod it, actually., CROWN: Your Honour, I fa tosee how this diatribe at ail relates te tth. charges against thia man, and I move that this WKI!BM ODEN H YEES, VARIETJES 0F 194W' testimony b. stricken fron the record and h. b. sentenced. These barbershop singera are, left te right, Tom -Fairbrother,'Herb PoIson, Jack'Switzer, JUDGE: Can you shorten this? Ron Deeth and Gord Mifflin. The. Whitby Modem Blayerasagedshows in th old townhall FADDE: oin hors ate, wen he an' daghtr i hiat Brock and Coiborno Streets in the peri of 1946 te 1950. bed, andSthe ihbours clren argenehome, the ahter WbitIini.ii. plm CROWN: This I gotta hear. * On-room schol houe iWnb onhp aebelosed and pupils go eDr. Robert tFADDLE: You evor seen a pile of dishea used te make Sucker Thornton and Meadowcrest echools. Juice Suprmo aller a five.yoar-old ha died thein on the cat? January 24 te 29 is Minor Hockey Week ini Whitby. JUDGE:Ti picture is growing. FADDLE: Thatea why that night I waa up uat midnight waéhinnga sink full ofchuild's play dishee because I didn't know 75 TZARS AGO: if thoy were dishwusher safo. I nado the ýwrong ussmption fim the Thursday, Junuary 27, 1916 odition, ofthe once and uchived meltdown tintth. top r;ack, right over the wHIBY. GAzETT AND cHRN LE now-out-of-stock Misty cinaware. Certain people don't find* Mr». Mary Wilson of tho Queen's Hotel bus been fined $20 and $3..50 in, costa for selling that funny. Tii.next day I wahunting thrugh stores loolcing liquor in bottles. dor ish.:es markod Diahwusher 5sfe.. The Witby Public Libruiy bus 558,members,.who tookou1,00bkalt year. M iJE: Well, since we've reached the seven hundred and * ho rond to the WIitby Asyluin on Lake.Onturio ia b.ing" gravelled., fifty word luit, we don't have time for more argument. Cage* Nora Molten, a servant girl werking for M., Foley, waa found, dod in ber b.d, froin heurt disiied. You are fro.e tor o Mr. FaPdme.- (Muttering te faemue. hino.lf): Dried thoin on the __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _