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t WMMlB FREE PRESS, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 6, 1991, PAGE 7 PAGE.SEVEN' for flag 'aüdcounty BAILIFF. Hear ye, hear y., hear ye. The court of Supreme Justice and Heavenly Retributioù néinoisesson, Supreme Being Whatzername presiding. Ail rise. jBAILIFF: Fiet case. Forever versus Saddam Hussein. Is the accused here? LAWYER. Your Hloliness, I represent the accused, who faile to recognize the juriedfiction of this court ince he ie a follower of Mohammed. - RER SUPREMEIP:- Tell the jerk that I arn. Moharnmeds Mother, the Mother of ail Mothers, and to get hie butt in here. Now. (elgtpause ýas the accused je called, confère with bis lawyr, t a ae, looking tired and unehaven.) COUR OFIC4:. Saddam Hussein, you are charged that on or about the latter part of the twentieth century you did commit'atrocities againet humanity: te wit, the use of poison gas ... SADDAM: A CIA plant. Besides, the Kurds were not falling___________________________ inte lin. with the national plans. I had te consolidate my power. COURT OFFICIAL:- ... the invasion of a neighbouring- country, the pilag of its national treasureé, ordering of a o erw-- ecorched earth policy during retreat frorn the country, rape, plunder,, brutalityand the murder of thoussnds, for which you were known as the Butcher of Baghdad. How do you plead? SADDAM: These thinge ail happened in the heat of battie. Thinge tend toget out of control. MOTHER.-! Cut the rhetoric. Plead. SAýDAM:- W. aïso had te stand up for flax and country. Nobody else would. W. refused te be ordered around. The enemy were Iii league with the Devil. Our'national pride could 'lot!not withstand hûiiation. MOTHER.- Let me get this right. You are admitting te ail the charges but _ai1 yu had no choice. ~~ SADDAM: That'sright. MOTHER.L On hearing the evidence and the admission of guilt, w. find the defendant guilty as charged. Sentence wiil b. passed at the ýend of thie column. Next case COURT \OFFICIAL: George Bush, you are charged with »simdry war crimes. How do you plead? BUSH: War crimes? You have te be iddinglm the one wbo set up the New World Order, the -one who brouht Peace on Earth. MOTHRR If you had "tyed awake in church you would recail that someone else did that before you, not that it did much good. Read the fifl charge. COURT OFFICIAL: George Bush, you are char with war crimes, te wit the murder of hundreds of thousande of BUenelS:Ciaeasaae CASSEIS ROAD LOOK1NG WEST FROM SIMCOE STBEET, BROOKLIN, 1909 CR ... and hundrd of thousands of defenceless soldiers. These houses are on MUl Street, renamed Cassle Road in the 1950e Ini the middle of the Specificaily, you are cbarged with being the Butcher of the picture je tthe Baptiet Church, now the Brookhin Community Centre, and the steeple of the Hiighway teB'ghdad. How do you plead? B3roln Methodiet (now Umited) Church. BUSH:- Welhad to stand up for f1ag and country. Nobody else WIb home, too. I liac to consonadato my support..*neunrdadhrtneetetlgtwil.adebyePbicUltisCm sio -MOTHER: Bring in the othier prisoner. Now listen te this. Oehnrdadtit e tetlgt ilb de yl uleUiifsCmiso Saddam, you are found guilty and hereby sentenced te lite in196 HeU. George Bush, you are hereby found blameless of al charges, and are free te go. >SADDAMl: But that'e not fair. He kIiled more people than I 7 ER D did.75TAR O MOTHER Yes, but he had the decenc te win. N4eyer lose a fo h lu ~ ~ ,96eiin0 war, Saddam iHusein. -lstoiy je neyer land te thoee who losee wHrITE EI ADCHOIC warsm nd oge, forget that remark I made earlier. You The firet annmal Tamblyn Public Speaki jCon est being held àt the Whitby High certainlyare a rice 0f Peace. As a reward,-you may rule the School, with cash primeeFovded in te wil 0f former principal W.W. Tanblyn. world -and phmnder at wiIl on behalf 0f multinationale. Until ... eA.E. Luke and L1. Di elveve opened a sales agency for the Overland automobile. ah, forget it. IEuijc yourself wbile yo Ca Four new telephones have beninstalled in Whitby homes and businesses. e . Victorian Order of Nurses bas completed two yeare 0f work Wn Whitby. E.