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.~. I Il I I Whitby Free Press, Wednesday, December 18, 1996, Page 7 W.~ ~Wd~dh ~'w ~ * .~ *.~. w E«- ~WXN Snow softlY falling about Our ears; Jack Frost nipping from his hip flaslq- carolers gently, gently holding back the gastrie distress of too many mincemeat tarts. Yes, these, too, are Part of the mysteries of Christmas. Does any season hold more mysteries than this, the holier than Bil's socks season, the turne of chimneys, Santas and flying venison? Eveiy cbild, of course, has posed the ultimate query: how can one huinan being, in one night, visit ail the children in the world? And Its allied questions: how can a fat person fit down a chimney? Why does the fat individual flot get burned sliding down the chimney? And how does he get back up? -More telling, these daYs: what is a chimney? The harder grow the questions, the more inventive the answers. Magie. That!s always a good one. Santa does bis work by Magfie. Gets down the chimneys -- by Magie. Converts baseboard electric to Victoian Fireplace with a blink of an eye. I just saw it in Tim Allen' 77 Santai Clause, so it must be true. Other Christmas mysteries stili rem'ain. Wh S it, for instance, that-governiment approved 1,000 bour outdoor bulbs, burn out the second night theY're turned on? (Since I buy cheap, it could be the thousandhour bulbs are screwed into sixteen-mrinute sockets.) And have you ever figured out the etemnal mystery Of those tiny, tiny, indoor miniature ligbts? Every string bas 50 bulbs. Every string made by the saine manufacturer. And no bulb from one string will fit as a replacement bulb in a.nother string. Even the extra replacement bulbs that corne wilth the string cannot be pressed into action. Wont fit. If you read the box, it warns about replacing burned out bulbs within five Point six nanoseconda before the whole tree shorts out. Is a nanosecond the time it takes Nanny ta serve second helpings of'-Christmas pudding? Oh., yes. TIry this mysterY. After ten Christinases in this house, you have finally found the perfect spot for the tree. It is visible fr-om the Street, does not block any door, requires no furniture rearrangement, looks good from ail angles, and even fits. The lights will ail plug inta the receptacle hidden behind the tree, and this saine receptacle is wired into the switch at the entrance to the room. No need for crawling under the tree, needfles down tbe neck, ta plug in and unplug the lights. Sounds perfect, eh? Why is it, then,, that in this location the tree falîs over twice the first day, and you find the one flaw: there is no window casing, door frame or bidden anchor into which ta Pound the nails you need ta- restrain the tree? Oh, well. What's a tree that hasn't fallen over? And if you like philosophy, if a free in the lvn room falls over at night when no one is awake ta hem, it, does it make a Sound? No fair saying the dog hears.it.. It may be more aoeurate ta say the cat hears it, since it is the cat's somewhat successfiil attemnpts ta scale the tree tbat caused the imbalance. Is it a plot that Cbristmas tree ornarnents are the perfect size, weight a.nd balance for playful cats? lhe saine may be said over the next few weeks fo)r clumnnists. O(ver the Years, this column bas been a I q Christmas FAHWlEW LOyM UNDER CONS'IRU rN, DBEJogIi,1951 Falrvlew LOdge Home for the Aged was officially opened 45 year ago, on Dec. 19, 1951 by Ontario Premier Leslie Frost. The new building replaced the old County House of Rtefuge, wh was an old folks home and poor house from 1903 to 191%ariwLde a enepne rnanY turnes since this photo was taken. 15-Five og a enepne 0bawaArchvgphoto 10 YEARS AGO from the WedneudaY, December 17, 1986 edition of the WBITY FREE PRESS * Town Council gave two readings tu a bylaw to ban aduit entertaininent parlours in the downtown. * The Dr. J.O. Ruddy General Hospital Corporation voted te change Its name to Whltby General Hospital. * Construction will begin on a new commercial office building at Dundas and Perry *The town's administrative coenmjttee has rejected a proposai for one-way streets i the downtown area. 35 MEARS AGO fror the Thursday, December 14, 1961 edition of the WIITY WEE.KLy NEWS * Warren Mowat and Harr Inkpen have retired fromn the town council. * Dr. Stanley Osborne, Principal of Ontario Ladies'College, ham written the choral music for a Christmas concert at the school on Dec. 17. *Western Tire and Auto Supply is seiing bIowout-prof mffer for $5.80) te $11.95. * The WhitbY Weekly News lha published a shopping news issue for the Chritma trade. 100 YEARS AGO from. the Friday, Decemiber 18, 1896 edition of the WEMTY CHRDNCJE o Whitby Township Reeve Charles Calder entertainedj the menibers of bis council and township officers at an oyster supper at the Sebert House hotel in Brooklin. *Only $200 remain in uncollected taxes fromn a Itax roll of $10,629.75 for Whitby * A meeting was held at Bandel's Hotel te reorganize the Whitby Checker Club. * The Chronicle refers te the Ontario County Council as "that useless made-over 1