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4 The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanville.Novem ber 5 1975 Who Moved The Earth By John Squirrelly (Being an account of a conversation with Professor Yodark Critch, the interna- tionally acclaîmed Canadian physicist. You're mad, I told him, lutterly mad."I didn't say it wîthout humour, hoxwever because 1 knew that the Brofessor's ideas were always rilliant regardtess of how incredîble they seemed at first. "My dear fellow," he saîd, "fI had a dollar for every' trne I've been called crazy, I'd be a rich man." "I know, I know," 1 soothed, "but tilting the world? Realy even you must have some reservations about that." "I'm not tilting it in the sense that it will be off balance. I'm merely moving it ~ slightly, about twenty degrees of latitude 1 should think.." "Now let me get this straight," 1 said, 'it's your intention to shift the world by, as you said, about twenty degrees, thereby placing southern Ontario roughly where Florida is now?" -Precisely." "And this would move att the other countries south by the same amount." "Only those on this side of< the world,' he said. "Those on the opposite side would, of course, be moved north while certain countries near the hub of' the axis would have ttîeir Prices in effect until internaI directions changed somewhat." tr lsngStNv1 *'Quite," 1 said, "but dont you think someone is goirig to object ? " "Naturally., 1 woutd indeed be mad it 1 thought otherwise. However, their objections wîll be after the fac.t." lI'm flabbergasted," 1 said. "But tell me, whatever set you off on such a colossal yen- f ure?" *Yi suppose," he confessed, it's mainly because I'm getting older and 1 don't like that long trip to Fort Lauder- dale every year. 1 think it's time Canada had some istands in the sun, like the Thousand Islands and Newfoundland." "But how are you goine 1to get around the tremend'ous loutcry that will most certainly " result?" I exclaimed. "Shal Iexplain?" "Please do, "I1 said. He struck a match to his ~ pe and teaned hack in the Fa miliar 'folds of his big leather chair. -First, bear in mind that the Americans are hard headed businessmen, which means M they can be bought. onsider also that we h ave ,several commodities that they need desperately, principally water,-oil and natural gas. Since a southward mvre of thiis side of the earth wvould cauise some melting of the polar ice cap, an abundance of fresh water wuuld be avail- able. As well, there will be less need for home heating in the States and here in Canada since the year-round tempera- ture witl be moderated by the shift. This reduction in con- sumpt ion means that more energy will be available for industry. F'm certain that mutually satisfactory arrangements can bc worked out to ensure their agreement. Russia. who will be pushed even furîhler north, cannot take any',corrective action because of thp milîîary strength of the U.S. and, even if she did, a war would leave open the possibility of a flank attack by China on one or thé o ther. Ouside of tjiose three, th ere is no olher bloc powerful enough to do anything." "It sounds suspiciously like blackmail," I said. 0Of course, that's what bargaining is. Besides, the number who complain will be offset by the number who approve." He put the tips of w= nothing a tract of 25,000 acres of Crown land on the shores o Hudson Bay, an area soon to bc a tropical resort Paradise, and t just sit here, waiting. Any day now.. Newtonville - Adjustable Hydraulic Starkville Closet Rod Door Closg 'Ieam Standings Strong, tubular steel For storm and: Sweet Peppers 19, Cabbage construction. Easy ta Eastly installec Heas 7, elry eats , nstalli Screws included. or rght hand ol Carrot ops 9.9 3Stace 3048ý 485 5 lligh Triple 7 Joyce Stacey 3" I 48" 72" 768. 200 Games Free Delivery With A Joyce Stacey 348, 222, Cindy O d r vr000 Cowle 267, 224, Bernice lien-O des O e 20O derson 255, Doris Chrysler 242, Financing is Available 212, Gail Milîson 239, Marlene You May Use Your Beaver Stacey 222, Karen Carter 215, Lumber Credit Card 204, Mary Topple 204, Ann Chargex and Master Charge Todd 204, Peggy Milîson 201, Also Honored