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A Inal went Uip to a passer-I in New, York oea warm at3, wy,oon last June and askà.- 'Wbat city am, I in!" The answer so disturbed i, ir tbe he went straight to the Eea rest police station. Dazed, lie tried to explain to the du~ty ser- geant that the last thing he re-~ riembered wai being in a bar Mn Johannesburg -- 8,000 miles away -two months earlier. The police sent hlm to hospital for a check up. In July, a railway- worker- in. France was astounded to se mniorting, hîiccupping pigs stag- gering out of a truck, Hastlly lie cafled a vet. "Blind dr-unk," decided the vet wihen) the police had taken eharge of the di'sorderly chiar- acters. Eanigthe train th-e police Aound that the pigs' truck had been shunted violenfly at some point of its jouruey smashirig onpen the pigs' cages and two barrels of! the finest Bordeaux ,wine. The pigs were deightc-d; they guzz.led the lot! Ear-lier last year, wine jmer.- chant Bill Gartner apenied Jis rcellar for the first ine for near- .qy a week and found thousands tgf ants wallowing ini booze. Un- disturbedl, the c-rawl1rng army had gnawý ed througli: the kegs gnd drained awvay $500~ wortli of Yum. Then as a "hsr they Jad a go at the champagne which~ was frothing everywhere. Bill Gartner was sevejrly bit- te-n wheu lie entered the cellar - for the ants ,vere alil fighting drunk. Crazy Crime Break.ing irto a bottl'ing plant e, 26-year-old man set off the biuglar aaa. Yet lie cùntinued te ransack the place, payiug no attention to) the wildly claIriging When the police arriVed and pounced on hïim the creok ex- plained that liehýý ad a severe business handicap. "I'm bard o! leiig, e said. The past Year lias produced zornie arnazing crime stories. ïThe biggest steal occurred in Augu_1_st when the liglits went dowu n pa c1uema.ý Four hundred people wýttle2d into their scats 'to enjoy thec film. Just below the screen everyone wýýas wvatching, rïglit under the noses o! the patrons rîi ~ front st0.ls, l ng y waý laid' with ruUber matting. Wlien the ligits went up again 4fter the film, it was gone - ail1 ivwenty yards o!fit. The flalbe(rga7st-ci manager of:ý fered a reward te ariyone who CeoUhd tellhinl who took the mat- ting _ -iad ihow.ý Perhaps the 'rrmost fantastic crime story o! )-95ci was wvlien three aircraft roared across Europe t.raifing a beribboned carrïer pigeon, Acting on 'informaitionî pro- Vided by the airmen, police I a t er arrested the pigüeo's x'owner," Johanu Schonoff, iwho Was accused of stealing sevenzr prize pigeons, and then to have pested another- pigeon -- the one the aircraft 'týrailed on itq hteming fligit -t'o the owner di thtes~~ birtis with a de- REALLY STACKED - Th, Calhy Hild tries to w- dollars piled on a table., wvas golfes bîggest one- Naughton Pro-Amnateur Who Started It's a surprisiug thini there, arenr't more beards Cý when you cousider that U~ erage m ian spends sonaq mlouths o! lis 1f e 1 scraping away 456 mnilo w, anted ,vhiskçers from square miles e! skia. W7ho started this futile niess? Noý,.body knows. Bt, Egyptians we,,re de! initely mng 5,000 years age. It taËr be a paînful process, teoo even with a I safety razor. Spare a tlf tl-en, for the African tribc- uses planes of red-hot irj a close singe; or th n ee Pacific whvichi clips a whX e. tinle b±gntwo sha-v of flint. Iaot rparts o! the beyond reacli o! razor the local citizens use si ccýmfortable implexr shar-1ks' teeth I, shells,V baboand broken glai Ome o! the sorest ciý shaving history mnust hi suffered by Samnuel Po wrote in !lis diary on 1662: "'To triingii, which i have doue every imorning with stone. . . I fiud it speedy and cleanhy, continue the practice Two years latex', le cd bis mind: "T'his began a practice ',,V witli the ease 1 do il 1 shah cotinue.., tïln mysél! wvith a r pleases rme rmihti.1 Men have always o! some kind to ridý ýýtubb1e trouble., razors yet fouud-, m! green osda used iiu Peru 3,0 Bronze razors dre, Thamnes a)nd datin~ B.C. have looped eu-e piece, sa that be used to feel shf-avittg. Dowu the ceuti been as many reý ing as there havt methods of doing the Great of Rt beth I o! Eug' b7,eards as a prc penalty of 3S. becarderd priests. Alexander tLý them lun bis "grounds that tI tee cunriveiiient~ the ancient Gr~ asigu o! te! lai Caesar uoted ildicatediic nob] The first at razor came lu master (cUtler fiEd à*cutthroat on the bl1ade. of raser, with: te, the liandhk years Inter,, -Meanliwliile,