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SNovember 1, 1995 )~ Newcastle Lion's Club Welcomes New Member artist Greg Taylor's creation, that showed the royal couple lourigiiig naked on a park bench. -Apparently the sculpture enraged some Australian monarchists - so much so, that they trashed it three nights running. Park off - cials finally decided to rernuve what was left of the sculpture to defuse the con- troversy. Well, you know what those Aussie monarchists say: no nudes is good nudes. The Newcastle Lion's Club welcorned Garry Saxby as a niew miember last Wednesday evening. Here, Lion's President Gord Moulton and Region 10 Chairman Otto Buittenweg wel- corne Garry as a member of their auspiclous organization. by Arthur Black One of my favourite wri t- ers died not too long ago. British chap by the name of Anthony Burgess. 1 ladmired Burgess for many of the books he wrote __ Enderby, 'Malays ian Trllogy, A Moutttful of Air - but mostly 1 admire him for a book titie he wrote. Burgess is the guy who wrote the book called The End af The World News. He lifted the phrase directly. from the traditional BBC radio news signoff, where the announcer finishes read- ing his last news item and then intones "And that is t he end ... of the world news." Except when Burgess shanghaied the words, he twisted the emphasis so that it sounded like he was deliv- ering news about the End of The World. It wasn't a great book, but itwas a pow erful titie. Powerful enough to make the BBC change the way they sign off their newscasts. 1Me? 1 don't have any end of the world news for you today. But 1 ean bring you the latest in World1 Nudes. Outbrcaks of unbridled nudity have IJeen running- make that '.stre(,aking' aroiind the globe ut laie. and lin nul the only u ne who's concernie(] about it i. Chinese gov runnit was 5< worried aboutlthe po, ssiI)ility ot st reakers ait the reccent LIN World Conference On Women that authorities issued an officiai -pamphlet for Beijing cab drivers on how to handie nude passen- gers. "Stop your cab and put on the handbrake" it reads. "Then jump ont and shout for a policeman." A.high school valedictori- an in Liberty, New York' made certain that-nobody fell asleep dutring her address. After shie got to the podium, and before she began her speech, Eva Noel Bevlacqua, casually slipped her graduation gown off her shoulders and down on the stage, leaving Ms. Bevilacqua dressed in mor- tar board. black lecather boots and nothing in between. But it is in Britain that folks have been doffing their duds withý an enithusiasm seldom seen ini that dank and inhibited land. Birdwatchers in Coleford,' England have been report- ing a rare species indeed. A jogger wearing only running shoes has been seen jogging (and jiggling) along the hcedgerows l'ive limies. 1Police believe that lie is "an eccen- Iric trying lu keep cool." Mcanwhiilc in Manchester, ani ever rarer 1reed of' streaker lias promnpted a cal l'or lParliaiiint loinlervene. These streakers- appear exclusively during cricket games. During an England/West Indies match, streakers invaded the field seven times. If you've ever endured a cricket match you'll appre- ciate the need for diversion. But my favourite British UFO, (stands for Unidentified Flopping Object) appeared on a British TV news show last spring. Apparenfly on this show, they have their weather guy stand on a fl oating map of Great'Britain about 15 yards wide, which is moored at the Liverpool Docks. Last May, the regu- lar weatherman was a tad nonplused to see a naked man leaping on to his map, right-in the middle of a live broadcast. The weatherman valiantly attempted to carry on talk- ing about low pressure troughs and high pressure ridges as the naked stranger cartwheeled from Englarid to Wales, executing a pas de deux just, south of Gretna, Green. But it was his attempted grand jete from Scotland to, Northem Ireland that did the interloper in. He lost hîs footing and stumbled into the ocean -- but not before' he'd made the weather fore- cast une that millions of viewers would retieniber for- ever. Not ail British nudists get off that lightly. In Canberra, Australia, Liz and Phil were physically attacked by hos- tile crowds just because they happened to be hanging out in the buif. Yes. l'in talking about Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip and yes. they were, as the Brtish would say, abso- lutely starkers. Aetually, it>was a sculp- turc enititled I)oivriBy Thie Lake WtiffiLiz and Pliid THE CATERING CONNECTION t'Il'1ýtSOCIAL CATERERS Our Speciality FamiIy Style Roast Beet Dinner Weddings Anmiversaries - Business Functions Hockey -Basebali - Bowling Banquets HOT - COLD - BUFFETS FRED, PATRICIA, RODNEY STORSBERGEN Box 416, Orono, Ont. LOB IMO 983-9679 PUBLIC NOTICE APPOINTMENTS TO BOARDS' AND COMMITTEES The Municipality of Clarington is accepting applications for one position of the Clarke Museum Board. The term wiII be for the remaining term of Council and will 'expire November 30, 1997. Meetings are scheduled on the f irst Tuesday of every month at 7:00 p.m., and there is no remuneration paid to Members of this Board. Il you wish to be considered for appointment to the Clarke Museum Board, application forms are available at the Municipal Administrative Centre, Clerk's Department, 40 Temperance Street, Bowmanvilîe, 1-1C 3K6. Compîeted application forms must be received in the Clerk's Department by 4:30 p.m., Friday, November 10, 1995. 1% UNI lPA I YOF ONTARIO Date of Publicaton: Wednesday, November 1, 1995, Patti L. Barrie, A.M.C.T. Cîerk Municipality of Clarington 40 Temperance Street Bowmanville, Ontario LiC 3A6 P.O. 5719 Travel Talk with Elizabeth Belanger-Lnkletter CTC A WORLD IN A MINIATURE Canada with a variety of diff erent Oflen called "The World In air uines, and you can see this Miniature" New Zealand has beautiful country in a number of stunning scenery which varies exciting and' different ways. from the fiords in the South to Tours are very popular, with the sub tropical North. accommodation and some meals ,In, between these are: included, you can do a self drive pastures, lakes and mountains; or a camper rentai. See lie the walk on glaciers 30 minutes from way it really is and have a fun your hotel, there is towering farm holiday with a KIWI family. alpine scenery, boiing mud and Everywhere you look you will geysers, lake and beach resorts. glimpse a hundred shades of In short there is a tremendous blues, greens and golds. And array of exciting places to visit depending on the lime of the and enjoy. year you choose to travel Couple this with caring, recreational options are almost sharing people who love their unlimited. country and you have the right No matter how you choose to combination for a memorablle see New Zealand it truîy is a holiday. jewel in the Pacific. Air fare is available from Reineîber when you think of Travel, Think of ~ BLESSNGS TRAVEL CENTRE~ Vanstone Mill 623-0005 lu