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8 - Orono Weekly Times Wednesday, April 28, 2010 Basic Black by Arthur Black It's hockey not in Canada! I shot it again and it went right along the ice and I saw it go in the Holy Geez. Ah, yes. The blessed simplicity of hockey. Paul Henderson, there, trying to articulate the goal of his life - the goal of our lives in Moscow, back in 1972. Canadian literati will tell you that we are a nation of emerging world class writers -- Munro, Atwood, Richler, Ondaatje. Minstrel meisters will hymn praises of our singers -Cohen, kd Lang, Ben Hepburn. Academics will point with pride to the deep thinkers we've produced like Northrop Frye and Marshal McLuhan. And of course, sports purists can be relied upon to huff and sniff that Canada's true national sport is lacrosse, not hockey... Who are they kidding? On some primeval level, Canada is hockey and hockey is Canada. "The Canadian specific," poet Al Purdy called it. As undeniable when Henderson scored in Moscow as it was a thousand times when Gretzky danced along the ice or when Bobby Orr won the Stanley Cup in 1970 beating the goalie in overtime, soaring like Superman through the air, with a grin as wide as Parry Sound and his stick already raised in triumph. And of course, Sid the Kid in Vancouver. But you don't have to go to the Olympics or to Boston or Moscow to savour the glory of Canadian hockey. It's on the street outside our front doors from early autumn to late spring every year. You hear it in the scrape of sticks on pavement, the thwack of a slap-shot tennis ball and the yips and yelps of kids from six to 56. Road hockey. No referees, no time outs except for passing cars, minimal equipment, and play goes on 'til dinner time or the light gets bad. Now THAT'S Canadian. Or used to be. Imagine the look on the face of David Sasson when an official-looking sedan with 'BYLAW ENFORCEMENT' emblazoned on the door rolled up to interrupt his game of road hockey last month. Mister Sasson is a father of a seven-yearold son and they're both hockey nuts. They live in the Montreal suburb of Dollard-des-Ormeaux and every so often the Sassons rustle up a gang of neighbourhood kids, set up some rubber boots for goal posts and play a game of road hockey out on the street in front of their place. As they were doing last month when The Law showed up. The Bylaw Enforcement Officers explained that they were responding to a complaint from a neighbour about 'excessive noise.' The game had to stop. Now. David Sasson replied, "You're kidding - right?" They weren't. They slapped Mister Sasson with a $75 fine. Turns out that it is illegal to play road hockey not just on the back roads of Dollard-des-Ormeaux but in neighbourhoods, communities and even whole municipalities right across Canada. It's a fining offence in Port Coquitlam, B.C. and Nepean, Ontario and Rothesay, N.B. Toronto's a little sneakier about it. It's not outright illegal in Hogtown but you have to choose your venues carefully. Some streets are okay; others are forbidden. If you want to play, better bring along a lawyer. On second thought, don't. Lawyers, as usual, are part of the problem. Some town councils and municipalities have instituted the road hockey bans to ward off possible lawsuits. Hockey illegal in Canada? That's like banning bratwurst in Germany. Or kissing in France. The Dollard-desOrmeaux minions of the law picked the wrong guy to cross-check when they tried to knock Dave Sasson off the puck. First thing Dave did, he called a pal on the local newspaper. Who called several colleagues at Montreal radio and TV stations. Next, Dave organized a (sort of) impromptu road hockey game -- on the street in front of the Dollard-des-Ormeaux municipal offices. Two hundred people with hockey sticks showed up. So far, the mayor -- also a hardnose -- is hanging tough. He vows the bylaw will not be changed but the story is mushrooming beyond the control of mere politicos. Sidney Crosby has thrown in his support; there's a petition going across the country and a pro-road-hockey Facebook group has been organized out of Wilfrid Laurier University. Don't look now, Mister Mayor, but this game is already over. You let in the winning goal. Slap shot through the five-hole.