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i i ! Section Two The Canadian Statesman, Bowmanvillc, February 3, 1988 Extramarital Affairs II byuoydscou Tyrone Orange Hall Financial Report Hospital Benefits from Jerusalem Lodge Donation Intimate sharing between soul-mates is unfortunately lacking in many, perhaps most, marriages. The search for that emotional closeness is a big explanation for extramarital extramarital affairs. And finding it, even on a part-time basis in an affair, makes that affair affair very precious. It's not always or only for ■ex that people are drawn together together into affaris. Here are a few other possible explanations. explanations. 1. Too much marital togetherness togetherness smothers individual individual needs and individual dreams. Too much "we" and not enough "I" is a course many marriages take, to their detriment. In such marriages, marriages, affairs seem to promise promise escape, a new life and are considered by many to be worth the risk. 2. When a partner feels it's a losing struggle, just to get an equal say in the marriage, marriage, the mood may be ripe for an affair. It may promise (though not necessarily deliver) deliver) a feeling of taking charge of one's life. 3. Among those who may be prone to affairs are individuals individuals who are weary of being being good, at least as they see it. Probably everyone needs to be bad in some way, at some time, to find expression for their latent mischief. Middle class, suburban lifestyle, lifestyle, with its PTA-scouts- guides-Sunday-School piety has for decades bred lots of extramarital fooling around. For many people, being good all the time is boring. An example is the overly- considerate spouse-parent who attends to the partner's and children's needs, but feels increasingly neglected and unsatisfied themselves. Similarly, some individuals individuals see tneir spouses as spending too much energy parenting the kids and not - enough being husband or 1 wife. 1 Right or wrong, they may decide to step outside the marriage for some attention . that can lead-to an affair.•• wi ; 4. Sexual frustration or boredom may cause one to start sending out signals, consciously or unconscious- . ly, subtly or obviously, of readiness to mate with others. others. Desire for change or sexual sexual experimentation is eloquently eloquently communicated to potential lovers by facial expressions, expressions, tone of voice and body language. 5. Fighting and arguing doesn't spoil sex for all married married couples, but it does for some. Fighting creates resentment resentment and tension. It sours lovemaking. An affair, like squash or racquetball, is seen as a source of relief and Happenings at The Pines Several Grade 7 classes enjoyed their days at the Outdoor Education Centre recently. The students practised practised mapping, identified life forms and played a wilderness wilderness game called "Survival". "Think Bowl", the problem-solving problem-solving competition, will be held at the end of March. Two teams, each consisting of four members, will be selected selected to represent The Pines. Both will be trained and coached by Mr. Farrington. Farrington. "Quest For Knowledge" is 1 another competition in which selected Grade 8 students students will represent our school. I have little information, information, as yet, but I believe the contest may be televised by a local cable station. On February 5, the class of 7C is going to The Young People's Theatre to see a play starring Megan Follows. Follows. In the meantime, they are trying to raise money to lower the cost, to each student. student. Public Speaking is just around the corner; students are now scrambling to find a topic. Mrs. Baxter and Mme Brasch are supervising the speeches. On January 19, Mr. Taylor, Taylor, principal at Bowman- ville High School and Mr. Winder from Student Services Services spoke to students in grade 8. Teams are busy practising practising for upcoming school competitions. Mr. Smith is coaching the boys' basketball team while Ms. Wilson coaches the girls. Also, the grade 7 volleyball team, coached by Mr. Nobes, has a tournament on January 28. Grade 8 students will be submitting high school option option sheets on or before January January 29th. That date also marks the end of the semester semester and the handout of interim interim reports. February 1 and 21 arc Professional Activity Days. Mike Smith. fun. It's seen as u break from bickering. 6. Marital rigidity discourages discourages individuality and frustrates frustrates sexual desire. A couple's inflexible habits and sexual routines can kill the spark that makes any life worth living. In that kind of setting, an affair may promise promise variety, maybe emancipation. emancipation. 7. Mountain-climbing and racing-car driving aren t the only ways to live on the edge. Affairs also create the danger and risk that some people need. Living the double life of an extramarital affair can mean an exhausting and frightening life of deceit, planned and impromptu ly ing. Trying to maintain an impenetrable facade of cool righteousness is for some people a hell worse than the dullest marriage. For others, it's the spice of life. 8. A sincere, though perhaps perhaps mistaken, desire to maintain or even strengthen a marriage may give rise to an affair. Needs met outside a marriage can stabilize it by relieving tension. Both partners may have on-going affairs. A small minority minority of marriages are genuinely genuinely open ana affairs for either or both are acknowledged acknowledged and accepted. Some couples even see extramarital extramarital affairs as a way of improving improving their sex life within the marriage. At least while they remain secret, affairs may relieve pain and help one better steer the course of one's marriage. marriage. Even while secret, however, they undermine trust and openness which are the goals of most marriages. marriages. Once revealed, they cause great pain and confusion and may unexpectedly end one's marriage. Once revealed, revealed, the emotional pain they can cause touches everyone everyone in the affected families. families. In life and literature, extramarital extramarital affairs are still a major precipitation factor in murder ana suicide. Yet in our age of safer sex and the A goodly number of members from the three Tyrone Tyrone Orange lodges turned out to their annual Hall Board meeting Sunday afternoon, afternoon, January 24 in spite of the inclement weather. A good financial report, prepared by the Treasurer, read by Secretary Verna Chamberlain was heard by all. It was decided to put a new floor down in the kitchen kitchen and also to insulate the inside inside of the front of the stage. The old slate of officers fear of AIDS, the affair still flourishes. Lloyd Scott is a Marriage and Family Counsellor in private practice in Oshawa and the Orono Medical Centre. He welcomes letters letters from readers. Please feel free to write in confidence confidence to Handling It do The Statesman, PO Box 190, Bowmanville, Ont.,LlC 3K9 were returned to their chairs. The 60 plus club are holding holding their luncheons every second Wednesday of each month "until May and then September to November when persons of any age are welcome. Of course the euchres are held every Monday Monday night with a light lunch after. Results of 60 plus card party January la. Mens High - Carl Ferguson 82, Ladies Ladies High - Laurrena Bright 78, 2nd High Ladies - June Wilson 76, 3rd High Ladies - Myrtle Gimblett 76, Mens Second - Russ Brown 76, Mens Low - Helen Wallis 41. Submitted by Grace Smith. Draw Winners - Laurrena Bright, Olive Little, Edna Vivian. i .* v ; .. .. y -, 1 rvjv . m Tom Cowan (Chairman of the Memorial Hospital Foundation) has much to smile about as he accepts a cheque for the Memorial Hospital Building Fund. The presentation was one of three that took place on Wednesday, January 27. The $1700 donation came from the Jerusalem Masonic Lodge in Bowmanville. The money was raised through personal pledges and a lodge donation. Dave Sebben (Lodge Master) and Richard Elston (Executive Director of Memorial Hospital) were also on hand for the presentation. search more. dsccver il in the Jhe Quick &Easy Way To Buy And Sell! It's elementary! 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