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They were married June 26,1948 at Enniskillen United Church by the late R. M. Seymour. They are being honoured at a family dinner and celebration. Handling It! By Lloyd Scott Men on snowmobiles enjoying enjoying their winter sport, sometimes stray off the roads and trails onto private property. The owner gets understandably upset at this invasion of his privacy and worries that his recently transplanted shrubs may be damaged. Each time the snowmobiles snowmobiles appear they disturb the peace and quiet of his home. He's mad as hell. He just wants them to go away, disappear, disappear, leave him alone. Bursting out of his house, he shakes his fist and yells, trying to be heard over the roar of the motors. "Get out, get out of here! This is private private property! Who the hell do you tninkk you are! Get out!" They don't hear him but they see his angry face. They've been drinking and don't care. They give him the finger and move on. Next time, determined to get their attention, he fires a shotgun in the air as they start to cross the corner of his property. This time they stop. Angry words fly back and forth. He threatens to call the police. They call each other names. The owner decides that a law suit is the only answer. answer. As he attempts to get their names, they drive off jeering. He feels utterly defeated, humiliated, wronged, He knows that the next time they'll come even closer to his house, taunting and calling calling him names. For him, the right to undisturbed quiet in his own home seems very far away indeed. In a park where I sometimes sometimes play with my two- year-old son, I recently watched a similar but also very different kind of confrontation. confrontation. Three young teenage boys were swinging on a large, mature tree that had grown amazingly parallel parallel to the ground. Maybe it had developed that way, lying lying down, in réponse to generations generations of tree swingers. As the boys remarked to me later, later, "Trees are made for climbing." The tree was strong, yet flexible. One could easily walk the 50 or 60 feet to the "top" of the tree which was no more than 10 or 12 feet off the ground. There you could sit or stand and, depending depending on your weght, make the tree spring up and down. Perhaps 18 inches across at the base, the tree was in no danger of breaking. breaking. The boys were obviously having a good time. I watched as a mid- dleaged park attendant, dressed in the blue uniform of authority, walked slowly toward the boys. I wasn't sure why he was approaching approaching them but I speculated that he might say something like, "Take it easy boys. Don't damage the tree, okay?" He didn't get close enough to be able to see their faces or to have a conversation conversation with them. He just yelled."Don't be breaking things! Just clear out! Get right out of here! If you don't, I'll call the boys in blue! Go on, get out!" The boys didn't argue or answer back. They got down, turned their backs on him and walked away. A police officer acquaintance acquaintance of mine tells of an incident incident that occurred 10 years ago involving three young teenagers who yelled, "Pig, pig, oink, oink," at him as he drove past them in his cruiser. cruiser. He stopped and asked them to come over and sit in the car with him. Instead of lecturing them about the law, about respect or about manners, he gave them his name and told them about his family,his own children, their ages and schools, and so on. Later, as they left the visit with the man in .authority two of the boys were cheerful and feeling feeling good. The other was moved in a different way and was in tears. An ancient rule of self- defence is to delay striking back. By not directly resisting resisting an attack, friendships may stand a better chance of remaining intact or of developing. developing. The man whose privacy has been invaded might consider consider changing tactics and striking up a conversation with the skidoers. His acquaintance acquaintance with them would soon soften their mutual antagonistic antagonistic feelings. As each sees and acknowledges the other more and more as individual individual persons, the win-lose confrontation falls away. When we don't know the people with whom we're dealing and haven't yeti formed a workable way to interact comfortably with them, we rely on stereotypes. Cops are bad. People who disturb our privacy are vandals vandals and intruders. Teenagers Teenagers are dangerous delinquents.Someone delinquents.Someone who's angry at us is obviously in the wrong. "Nobody can attack us/ me and get away with it" might sometimes be the right feeling to have. But not always. If someone hasn't spoken to us in a nice way, they may not necessarily be creeps deserving to be treated treated as such. The police officer in my story gave the boys an opportunity opportunity to deepen their understanding understanding of themselves by letting them see the real person who lies beyond the stereotype. Lloyd Scott is a Marriage and Family Counsellor in private practice in Orono Medical Centre and Oshawa. in Mira Let a former Police Officer be your voice in court No Cost Consultation Low Cost Representation B436-7194WW 249 KING ST. E. (Across from the Osh.iw.i Provincial Court) leBT^'V^^gQgwÏÏHTÏÏirœnpoNÎ • REGULAR • TRADITIONAL • SUMMIT 300 9 VAC PAC COUPON VAUD UNTIL CLOSING SAT. JULY 2/88 UMIT ONE PKG ONE COUPON PER FAMILY IN-STORE RETAIL 2.49 FOR ALL YOUR INSURANCE NEEDS T'\, HOME• AUTO BUSINESS • LIFE JAMES INSURANCE BROKER LIMITED