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4 The Independent, Canadian Statesman Weekender. Bowmanville, Saturday, June 25,1994 Book Sale Fundraiser at Clarke Museum Handling It By Lloyd Scott K81SS A-VV II Few people who attend Clarke Museum's used book sales leave with empty arms. Last Saturday's event was no exception, although the hot weather kept some of the regular crowds away. Funds will be used to restore a 1910 blacksmith shop on the property. Looking over the wide selection of titles with curator Mark Jackman (left), are book sale volunteers Donna Robins and Arnold Jackman. Intimate sharing between soulmates soulmates is unfortunately lacking in most marriages. The search for that emotional closeness is a big explanation explanation for extramarital affairs. And if one finds it in an affair, even on a part-time basis, that affair becomes very precious. It's not always or only for sex that people are drawn into affairs. Here are a few other explanations, not to be construed as necessarily justifications. justifications. 1. Too much marital togetherness smothers individual needs and individual individual dreams. Too much "we" and not enough "I" is a course many marriages marriages take, to their detriment. In such marriages, affairs seem to promise promise escape and a new life. By many, they're considered worth the risk. 2. When a partner feels that it's a losing struggle just to get an equal say in the marriage and the family, his or her mood may be ripe for an affair. It may promise, though it may not deliver, a feeling of taking charge of one's life. 3. Among those who may be prone to affairs are those who are weary of being "good", at least as they see it. Probably everyone needs to be "bad" in some way, at some time, to find expression for their latent latent mischief. Middle class, suburban lifestyle, with its PTA - Scouts - Guides - Sunday School piety has for decades bred lots of extramarital fooling around. Being good all the time may prove boring. An example is the overly considerate considerate spouse-parent who attends to the partner's and the children's needs, but who feels increasingly neglected neglected and unsatisfied themselves. Similarly, some individuals see 'heir spouses as spending too much What sometimes looks like a deal, isn't always so. Especially when looking at municipal tenders. A pumper to be used by the Clarington Clarington Fire Department looked like it could have been purchased most cheaply from a company in Quebec. However, . municipal officials learned that the Quebec firm's bid y AAA 1 y,U 7 did not include optional equipment. Things like nozzles, hoses, ladders, ladders, axes and other pieces of equipment equipment were not included in the bid. When these items were tallied in the estimate, the total cost was actually actually higher than the bid from the firm which was finally recommended recommended by Clarington councillors at a Parking Fees Total $11,256 During May 1994, the revenue from parking meters, parking permits permits and fines brought $11,256 to the coffers of the Municipality of Clarington. There were 350 tickets issued by parking enforcement officers and 15 issued by police. At the end of May 1994, 1,252 tickets were issued by police and the municipal parking enforcement officers officers for a total of $7,477. THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON 40 TEMPERANCE STREET BOWMANVILLE, ONTARIO L1C 3A6 1994 FIRST INSTALMENT 1994 FINAL TAX NOTICE The FIRST INSTALMENT of the 1994 FINAL TAX NOTICE is due for REALTY AND BUSINESS TAX. First Instalment PAYABLE JUNE 24,1994 Please Pay Promptly to Avoid Penalty If you have not received your Interim Tax Notice, please telephone the Municipal Tax Office at (905) 623-3379. 1994 Taxés are PAYABLE at the locations detailed on the front of the Tax Notice. In addition, the following options are now being offered on a trial basis. You can now pay your taxes at the Municipal Administrative Centre with your: 1. Interac Banking (Debit) Card and/or , 2. Visa Credit Card Failure to receive a Tax Notice does not eliminate the responsibility for the payment of taxes and penalty. R.L. Swan Tax Collector CS-Ind. 3098 S7\ g MUNICIPALITY OF (^jlarinqton ONTAniO SmSREAT PRICES^ and HUGE SAVINGS We offer our customers the opportunity to own top quality women's and children's designer clothing at reasonable recession prices. We also have a uery good selection of women's plus sizes. THE FASHION EXCHANGE storewide storewide Main St. Orono 432-2102 or 983-6022 1 B energy parenting the kids and not enough being husband or wife. Right or wrong, they may decide to step outside the marriage for some attention attention that can lead to an affair. 4. Sexual frustration or boredom may .cause one to start sending out signals, consciously or unconsciously, unconsciously, subtly or obviously, of readiness to mate with others. Desire for change or for sexual experimentation is eloquently communicated to potential potential lovers by facial expressions, tone of voice and body language. 5. Fighting and arguing don't spoil sex for all married couples, but they do for some. Fighting creates resentment resentment and tension. It sours love- making. An affair, like squash or rac- quetball, is seen as a source of relief and fun, a break from bickering. 6. Marital rigidity discourages individuality individuality and frustrates sexual desire. desire. A couple's inflexible habits and unchanging sexual routines can kill the spark that makes any life worth living. In that kind of setting, an affair affair may promise variety, maybe even emancipation. 7. Mountain-climbing and race- car driving aren't the only ways to live on the edge. Affairs also create the danger and risk that some people feel they need. Living the double life of an extramarital extramarital affair can mean an exhausting and frightening life of deceit, planned and impromptu lying. Trying to maintain an impenetrable facade of cool righteousness is for some people a hell worse than the dullest mar riage. For others, it's the spice of life. 8. A sincere, though perhaps mistaken, mistaken, desire to maintain or even strengthen a marriage may give rise to an affair. The.belief is that needs met outside of a marriage can stabilize stabilize it by relieving tension. Both partners may have on-going affairs. A small minority of marriages marriages are genuinely open, with affairs for either or both spouses openly ac- • knowledged and accepted. Some couples couples even see affairs as a way of improving improving their sex lives within their marriages. At least while they remain secret, affairs may relieve pain and help one to better steer the course of one's marriage. Even while secret, however, however, they undermine trust and openness, openness, which are the goals of most marriages. Once they're revealed, they can cause great pain and confusion, confusion, and may unexpectedly end one's marriage. Once revealed, the emotional pain affairs can cause touches everyone in the affected families. families. In life and literature, extramarital affairs are still a major precipitating factor in murder and suicide. Yet in our age of the fear of AIDS, the affair still flourishes. Lloyd Scott is a marriage and family family counsellor in private practice in Oshawa and in the Orono Medical Centre. He welcomes letters from readers. Write him in confidence at this newspaper, The Canadian Statesman, Statesman, P.O. Box 190, Bowmanville, Ont. L1C 3K9. committee meeting last week. Almonte Fire Truck Ltd., which submitted a tendér of $320,684, was recommended as the company to supply the fire department with its next pumper track.. ' It was suggested to the members of council to accept the tender since "it is in the municipality's best interest interest to include this equipment with the tender as it is then purchased Provincial Sales Tax exempt," states a report from the treasurer's department. department. The firm is a previous supplier of vehicles to the Clarington Fire Department Department Bowmanville High School report cards can be picked up in the cafeteria on Wednesday, June 29th, from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. Starting June 30th, the office will be on summer hours, which are: 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Mon. thru Thurs. 8:00 a.m. to 12 noon on Fridays Reports can also be picked up during-these hours. Reports which are not picked up will be mailed the end of August; to save the costs of postage, please pick up your reports. Need a Break From Your Kitchen? Why not try S.L.M. Frozen Foods Heat 'n' Serve Entrees? S.L.M. Frozen Foods is a branch of S.L.M. Catering Services We are a family owned and operated business, licensed since 1984, "bringing our kitchen to you." The following frozen entrees are available at: Betty's Pies &. Tarts, Garden Hill Store, or delivered direct to you (minimum order of $75.00) • Wholesome, individual beef pies • Individual chunky chicken pies • Saucy Ukrainian cabbage rolls • Potato & cheese perogies (boiled and buttered) • Traditional English steak and kidney pies • Individual ham and cheese quiche • Tasty sweet and sour meatballs • Oriental chicken wings teriyaki Prices may vary according to distributor. For more information contact Stein or Linda McClean , at: 905-797-2144. © fi