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„ ij|| Mils Handling It ... MIL' 6 w By Lloyd Scott The Clarington Independent, Bowmanville, Saturday, November 5,1994 15 Lotto Ticket Cashed In the Nick of Time "Not much wonder I'm confused! One of my parents is a woman. The other is a man." Not surprisingly, fathers and mothers think differently about how to raise their children. And although it's often hard to strike a comfortable balance between their differences, both parents are important to their kids' development, partly because they're complementary, a team, each a necessary counter-balance to the other. . Whether the stereotype holds or not - mothers are soft, fathers are hard - mothers and fathers do see their kids through different eyes. A fall from a swing, a scratch, a cold, an earache, an accidental bump in play wrestling, a child's first long bike ride alone, first overnight at a friend's, first date, a first friendship breakdown, first solo driving experience experience - these and scores of other moments moments in children's lives elicit very different responses from moms and dads. And those responses play off one another. Mom's worry deepens when she thinks that - Dad's response to a ON NOVEMBER 14,1994 ELECT - Accountability - Fiscal Management - Student Achievement - C ommunication PUBLIC SCHOOL TRUSTEE, WARD 3 To serve the students and the taxpayers Authorized by the CFO for the Beverly Wakefield campaign The Regional Municipality of Durham Works Department HOLIDAY CLOSURE OF TRANSFER AND RECYCLING SITES The Oshawa, Cartwright and Scugog Transfer and Recycling Sites will be closed Friday, November 11, 1994 for the Remembrance Day Holiday. Normal operations will resume on Saturday, November 12,1994. V.A. SILGAILIS, P. ENG. COMMISSIONER OF WORKS © Archibald Orchards FARM FRESH QUALITY WARM COUNTRY SERVICE Many varieties of Apples Our own fresh pressed Apple Cider Apple Pies and Dumplings are our specialty! • Preserves • Honey • Maple Syrup Available this weekend: Hot Caramel Apples A warm cozy atmosphere in the heart of • "Durham's Garden" ^ Open Daily: 9 a.m. - Dusk I its /. ins N 6275 Liberty St. N., Bowmanville ■n 1 GC AV V) Taunton Road E 3 5 <5 ■Û □ Hwy. 2 401 child's illness (real or fake?) is unsympathetic. unsympathetic. For his part, Dad pooh- poohs what he perceives as Mom's exaggerated, unwarranted concern for the child's discomfort. "There's nothing nothing wrong with him", says Dad. The more she worries, the more flippant he becomes and the more protective she becomes. Before long, innocent teasing may turn to nasty accusations. accusations. "You don't really care abut the kids!" "You're smothering and spoiling spoiling the kids!" Disputes like this can become deeply entrenched. There are times when kids of all ages need their mothers' protective nurturing, though most sometimes become over-protective with their "Be careful," "Watch your step,", "Dress warmly," routines. There are times when kids of all ages need Dad's push in the direction of independence, independence, if it's a gentle push. "You're okay. You probably haven't hurt yourself badly," "I'm sure you'll be able to sort it out on your own," "Let me know if you need help." Sometimes dads come on too strong with their "Don't be a sissy" bit, encouraging encouraging kids to be hard rather than strong. As parents' power struggles over how to raise their kids heat up, kids see their parents as grotesque caricatures, caricatures, as extreme exaggerations of certain negative traits, as antagonists rather than partners. These on-going power struggles may do more damage damage to kids' development than any other influences inside the family. Children, young and old, pick up tension (silent or noisy) between their parents, just as lightning rods pick up electrical energy in the air. Children then act out the feelings that the tension tension has generated in them, feelings that they may be unable to verbalize. From the first hesitant steps of a one-year old to the sophisticated teenage. ventures into the outside world, children's development requires requires both the nurturing center to return return to as needed, plus the occasional encouraging push to prepare them for the eventual departure from the nest. This essential combination is best provided by cooperative parental partnership. One sign that the team is working well is when parents break the stereotyped mold: Dad provides the nurturing center and Mom provides provides the gentle push toward the door. Lloyd Scott is a marriage and family counsellor in private practice in Oshawa and in the Orono Medical Centre. He welcomes letters from readers. Write him in confidence at this newspaper, The Canadian Statesman, Statesman, P.O. Box 190, Bowmanville, Ont. L1C 3K9. Program to Help Industries Expand Markets in U.S. In today's economy the demand for knowledge based services is growing. Durham Region has a highly- highly- skilled' Service Industry base which is meeting this demand. There is also a great demand for these services services in the United States and it is a great.opportunity for local service industries industries to expand their markets. A new program aimed at increasing increasing exports to the United States by service industries was unveiled to a select group of Economic Development Development Officers in Ottawa in May 1994. "The program that includes three "How To" booklets, a video and a Computerized Diagnostic Questionnaire Questionnaire Diskette has been available from the Federal Government for a few months at a cost of $29.50 stated Mr. Patrick Olive, Commissioner of the Economic Development Department Department of Durham Region, "but without without proper guidance on their usage Durham's Service Industries would not benefit to the full potential possible." possible." Just six days before it would expire, expire, Maria Scarcello, a store clerk, cashed in her lottery ticket worth $250,000. Scarcello won the top prize in the October 30, 1993 ENCORE ENCORE Draw. For almost a year she kept the winning ticket in a safety deposit deposit box until, "the time was right" to claim the prize. She picked up her cheque today at the Ontario Lottery Corporation's Toronto Prize Office. The North York resident and her husband, Mimmo, have three children. children. They plan to pay debts, invest and "buy a bigger house". The winning winning ticket was purchased at Shoppers Shoppers Drug Mart on Royal Orchard Boulevard in Thornhill. Prior to this her largest lottery win was $10 play- r? ing LOTTO. 6/49. Players have one year to claim their prizes. Unclaimed prize money is returned to lottery players in the form of additional prizes as part of special promotions and bonus draws. More than half the adult population population in Ontario regularly purchase lottery lottery tickets. For every $1 spent on a lottery ticket, about 32 cents is made available for worthy projects across Ontario. Since 1975, lottery players have helped generate over $5.8 billion billion in profit which supports the operation operation of Ontario hospitals, voluntary voluntary social service organizations through the Trillium Foundation, and cultural, sport and recreational activities activities in the province. The Peterborough Victoria Northumberland and Clarington Roman Catholic Separate School Board is seeking Occasional teachers for shortterm shortterm assignments to teach French as a Second Language (Core and Immersion) in the Elementary and Secondary panels. Candidates must have an Ontario Teacher's Certificate (or equivalent) and must indicate divisional and subject qualifications. Preference will be given to Roman Catholic teachers. Interested applicants are invited to forward a covering letter, resumé, a current pastoral reference and the names of three professional references in an envelope marked "CONFIDENTIAL" by 12:00 noon, Friday, November 11,1994 to: Daniel R. Cloutier Manager of Human Resources Peter L. Roach Education Centre,'459 Reid Street Peterborough, Ontario K9H 4G7 Only those candidates selected for an interview will be contacted. In accordance with the Municipal Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act, the. personal-information provided is collected under the Education Act and will be used to determine eligibility for employment. Lome Corkery Board Chairperson Don Folz Director of Education RE-ELECT DAVID GRAY Public School Trustee Ward I Experienced and Dependable RE-ELECT GRAY, DAVID Authorized by the C.F.O. for the David Gray campaign. ©