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THE CANADIAN STATESMAN ♦ DECEMBER 15,2004 ♦ PAGE 3 durhamrcrjion.com 10**5 ' %*' s' •s ■ *** a ea* « ■* " .. I * 1 • 1 m M Plan ahead to beat holiday loneliness Walter Passarella/The Canaadian Statesman Courtice students spread Christmas cheer CLAR1NGTON - Courtice Secondary -.rough! toys and food donations to Denise House, the Durham Chit- dren's Aid Society and needy families in Courtice. Single parents can feel strain from seasonal stresses Family Services Durham offers help for those feeling the Christmas blues The holiday season is a joyous and stressful time, whether you're part of a gathering of family and friends or you have a few days to spend alone in the midst of the festivities. Family Services Durham suggests that people who may be spending the holidays alone should make this a time to relax and indulge in things they enjoy but don't usually have time to do. The key is to plan ahead, instead of waiting for someone else to plan your days and evenings, they say. Paying a visit to a museum or art gallery is a great way to spend a day, or taking a long walk to see the decorations decorations in your neighourhood. Holidays also offer a chance to explore a new hobby or rediscover an old one, to ' cook a favourite dinner, start a home project you've been meaning to do, organize photos and scrapbooks, read the latest bestseller or watch some new movies. If you find yourself feeling lonely, Family Services recommends spreading spreading a little cheer by calling or writing to family and friends, or spending a few hours or a day volunteering with a charitable organization. By giving something of yourself to make someone else's holiday happier, you, too, will benefit from the experience. experience. This is also a great chance to play host or hostess to a party of friends or other people who you know may be alone for the holidays, or to take part in community events or attend religious services. Visiting an elderly relative or neighbour who is also alone is another way to spend a holiday afternoon. If, despite your best efforts, you still find yourself feeling depressed, sad or lonely, allow your feelings to happen. Be kind to yourself by getting lots of rest, eating healthy foods and exercising. exercising. If you want to talk to someone about your feelings, Family Services Durham Durham offers a variety of counselling and support services. Call 905-721.-6120 or 1-866-840- 6697 for more information or to make an appointment. John Howard Society says family conflict sees increase during holidays BY JILLIAN FOLLERT Staff writer DURHAM -- Navigating a store with a cranky two-year-old is stressful at the best of times. 'Add throngs of anxious shoppers, a mile-long wish list and looming family obligations to the mix, and you have a recipe for parental meltdown. While raising kids is never easy, experts at the John Howard Society (JHS) of Durham say seasonal stress can be overwhelming, especially for single and separated parents: "At this time of year we find that the amount of family conflict is much higher," says Paul Dobbs, who looks after community education at JHS Durham. Durham. "There are more time constraints, people are worried about money and making sure there is something under the tree, and there are more family obligations to think about." Norm King agrees. As a single father living in Whitby with shared custody of his three young children, he says Christmas can be highly emotional. "You have to explain to the kids why the whole family isn't together, and why you might not be with them for all of the holidays," he says. "It's confusing confusing and upsetting for them." Mr. King says the John Howard Society Society has been instrumental in helping his family cope with stress during the holidays and year round. He recently completed the DADS program, a peer support group aimed at strengthening father-child involvement, and Active Parenting Now, an eight-week course that improves communication between parents and children. "They were both very informative, I learned a lot about my kids and myself," lie says. "I keep the Active Parenting book on my shelf now, and my kids and I read it together and try to work through any problems." Tips to help the holidays run smoothly -- Make a budget and stick to it. Whether you're buying presents decorations or turkey, decide in advance how much you can safely spend, and stick to it. _ Take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, get plenty of sleep and take a break when you need it. No one can face the mall when they're tired and hungry. -- Teach your kids to give. Volunteering or donating to those less fortunate will bring the family together and remind everyone what Christmas is really about. _ Don't put kids in the middle of family conflicts. Put differences aside for the sake of the season and encourage children to be respectful to all guests. -- Involve kids in the planning stages. Have them choose an extra chore or responsibility for the week before-Christmas to make sure everything gets done. _ Don't promise what you can't deliver. To avoid disappointment on Christmas morning, or post holiday debt, try not to speak for Santa when it comes to high- ticket items. JHS Durham is a non-profit social service agency that offers parenting programs, as well ùs employment and housing assistance and a variety of counselling services. The Active Parenting programs are among the most popular, because they address problems common to all families. families. "We teach parents how to avoid power struggles by being an active parent instead of a reactive parent, and how to give kids choices," says Maria Perrino, counsellor and active parenting parenting coordinator. "We also focus on the difference between discipline and pun- • ishment and the difference between natural and logical consequences." In January, JHS Durham will be launching a new program called Cooperative Cooperative Parenting and Divorce, aimed at helping separated families cope with raising children in two different homes. "Sometimes parents feel like they've failed if they ask for help, they feel like they're expected to know everything everything when it comes to their kids," says Ms. Perrino. "Kids don't come with a manual at birth but, luckily, we have manuals here." For more information on services offered at any of the four JHS Durham locations, call 905-579-8482 or visit www.jhsdurham.on.ca. Watch for us Wednesday, Friday and Sunday for all your local news. Wishing You And Your Family A Safe And ytafrfiq ÇtdicUty Seaâm Bev Oda, MP Durham Constituency Office 2-68 King St. E., Bowmanville L1C 3K8 (905) 697-1699 Orono construction project to focus on Station Street improvements ORONO -- Construction to improve Station and some other surrounding streets should begin next spring, the Municipality says. Clarington staff has been instructed to finalize design details for reconstruction reconstruction of Station Street, which a report to the General Purpose and Administration committee says is too narrow and suffers from structural and surface deficiencies, Construction is projected to begin in May or June. At the same time, Church, Princess and Rowe streets, along with Station Street North, will be rehabilitated. The rehabilitation will include road base repairs, grading and drainage improvements, and replacing the driving driving surface, says Clarington engineering engineering director Tony Cannella. The estimated $520,000 project is welcome, says Regional Councillor Charlie Trim. "It's long over-due, of course," he said. . Mall) (905) 438-8789 ii 0N «S 555.1. Dteouni not ..lid on surcM m.rctenfa. -- -- DURHAM BEOIOM'S •WHERE YOU CET "ORETHAN -- 799 BLOOR ST. W., OSHAWA OÛOM 905-404-0525 Fivb star r.durhamchr • Sales • Leasing • Parts • Service "Convenient Customer Shuttle Service"