Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, March 13, 2002 - 5 for? Not much - and it's been out of date for decades. Ever wondered wondered why men's suit jackets have a vent in the rear? For riding horseback. It was designed to drape over a saddle. saddle. When's the last time you saw a broker ambling down Bay Street on a cay use? The buttons on the sleeves? They were put there to dissuade dissuade British seamen from wiping their snotty noses while standing in assembly. What limey sailors have to do with modem commercial dress is anybody's guess, but it makes as much sense as anything anything else about men's suits. Suit jackets are awkward and cumbersome when you're climbing into the bucket seat of a Mazda Miata, or cramming cramming your limbs into an economy economy rathole on an Air Canada flight to Moose Jaw. They just get in the way - just as they do when you're working in a climate-controlled climate-controlled office. The jackets get slung over chair- backs. What's the point? Men's suits should have gone out of vogue or morphed into something useful a hundred hundred years ago, but for some reason they didn't. Women's' fashion went through long gowns, medium gowns, floun- cy gowns, flared waists, high shoulders, empire gowns, the Sack, the maxi, the midi, the mini, the monokini.. .Men just kept wearing the same dumb suits. Oh, the lapels waxed and waned. The cuffs came (continued page 8) New museum curator takes Up his post After an absence of six months, Charles Taws, former curator of the Bowmanville Museum, has returned to Clarington as curator curator of both municipal museums. Taws will be at the Clarke museum on Thursdays, and spend the rest of the week in Bowmanville. Taws was offered the position after the latest curator, Elizabeth Hunter, left for a new position after one month on the job. BASIC BLACK is not suit by Arthur Black I've always had a problem with Suits. Men's suits, I mean. The two.piece number - - the jacket and trousers. Part of my problem is that I realized realized early on that most of the people likely to cause me grief in life would be wearing suits - the principal, my teachers, the bank manager, any lawyer. The suit was a metaphor for The Enemy. If I saw somebody somebody in a suit I knew trouble was not far off and probably on the way. Another part of my suit problem: I spent a fraction of my formative years in Morocco, where I came across the ultimate male garment. It is called the djellaba (spelling varies). It's a loose, hooded woolen cloak with full sleeves that cover the hands. But the djellaba is so much more than a cloak. It is warm enough to protect you from the cold. It is also insulated to protect you from the heat. The deep hood will safeguard your privacy and anonyjïÿty. It is roomy, cozy and hardy. You could be naked in your djellaba djellaba or you could be dressed like the goalie for the Nashville Predators. No one .could tell from the outside. It is a self- contained habitat. You can. almost live in a djellaba. It is everything a North American business suit isn't. The late, great Peter Gzowski - author, journalist, radio star, kamikaze TV host - - once vowed that he would never again take a job if he couldn't wear jeans to the office. This was 'way back in the Sixties, when, unless you were bruising your knuckles for a living, suits and ties were de rigeur. Luckily for Gzowski, he was immediately hired by the CBC where dress codes are not just optional, they're unknown. (The CBC brass doesn't care if you wear a Batman cape or pasties and a thong - they're just happy if you show up for work.) But I digress. The point is, as Gzowksi pointed out half a century ago, the business suit is one of the central absurdities of modern North American life. Why are so many of us still wearing this supremely inappropriate garment? Think, .abput it,- a flimsy^, .two piece outfit (that can't Jteep,, ' you warm àt à bus stop in February and will drive you to heat prostration at the same bus stop in August. It lacks the sturdiness of overalls, the comfort of a sweat suit and the weatherproofing of spandex - what is the business suit good Provincial Services UNAVAILABLE In The Event Of A Strike Hie Ontario Public Service Employees Union (OPSEU) will be in a legal strike position March 13. The Government of Ontario is prepared to negotiate around the clock to reach a collective agreement that is fair to employees and responsible to taxpayers. The government is committed to providing Ontario residents with as much information as possible so they can plan for any disruption of services in the event of a strike. Here is a listing of provincial government services that will be unavailable should the union go on strike. Health Care Services While major health facilities and services such as hospitals will be available, some government operated services will not, including: • No new or replacement health cards • Ministry INFOline in addition to Seniors INFOline • No processing of applications for assistive devices Driver and Vehicle Licensing • Driver Examination • New or replacement driver's licences • Service Ontario kiosk transactions Services to Business and Consumers • Registrar General office closed - certificates for birth, death, marriage and change of name are not being issued • No registration or incorporation of businesses • No searching or filing of liens • Ontario Business Connects and Access Ontario closed • No consumer mediation or consumer advice by telephone • Ministry of Environment Public Information Centre closed • Reduced hours at Land Registry offices (1 p.m. - 4 p.m. only) Workplace & Employment Services • Employment standards staff will not inspect workplaces, workplaces, receive walk-in clients, investigate complaints or answer all enquiries • Inspectors will not inspect workplaces for health and safety but will respond to events occurring in workplaces workplaces on a priority basis • Office of the Worker Adviser will not investigate files, answer all enquiries, conduct educational meetings with client groups, attend hearings • Pay Equity Commission will not investigate complaints, conduct educational meetings or answer all inquiries Ontario Travel Information • Ontario Travel and Information centres closed Government Publications and General Information • Government Information Centres and government bookstores closed • Publications Ontario telephone and online ordering closed • Archives of Ontario reading rooms and reference services closed • No publication of Job Matt or GOJobs online postings Education and Training Facilities & Programs • Ontario Student Assistance Program (OSAP) services ■ for students studying outside Ontario not available • Independent Learning Centre (ILC) correspondence courses, student services, and General Educational Development (GED) registration and testing not available • Residences at schools for deaf, blind, and deafblind students closed • Education, JobGrow and Training telephone and walk- in information centres closed • Apprenticeship: Limited services at district offices only. No registration, examination or certification services. No adjustment services available • No online registration for Ontario Internship program - manual registrations only Social Services • Ministry Infoline closed • • No disability adjudication services or new employment supports for Ontario Disability Support Program clients • No new Special Services at Home applications or appeals • Adoption Services: No adoption disclosure activities other than for reasons of health, safety and welfare • No new approvals of licence applications for private or international adoptions Government-owned and Operated Tourist Attractions and Parks • Ontario Place, including Cincsphere, closed • Reduced services at Ontario Parks i i » <• ( ' Although the Government of Ontario will continue to work hard to provide services to a . W?»?'t pe business as usual. There piay.b^e disruptions to some services. .i.'i.r, • ' For up^to-ddte, pre-recorded information on services,',as)of March 13, \ 1 call toll-free 1-866-933-9233 or visit our website at www.ontarioservicesupdate.com A message from the Government of Ontario Ontario