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^ -Qrono Weekly Times» Wednesday» March 20» 2002 - 5 Celebrating 5 years in business Eileen Richards and Anita Bruton of V&A Services, 34A King Street W. Bowmanville, celebrated their 5th year in the framing, needlework and paper tole business. BASIC BLACK Mavis by Arthur Black In tragedy, every moment is eternity. In comedy, eternity eternity is a moment Christopher Fry In the early spring of 1996j tragedy fell on 64-year-old Mavis Pickett like a Mack truckful of boulders. It arrived in the form of a telephone telephone call from a policeman in Whistler, B.C. Her 30- year-old daughter, also named Mavis, was dead. She had tumbled off a cliff while skiing skiing at Blackcomb mountain. "She was my soulmate" remembers Mavis senior. "We could finish each other's sentences." Poised on the cusp of senior senior citizenry, when life is supposed supposed to smooth out and become simplified and pleasant, pleasant, Mavis was instead plunged into a whirlpool of misery, faced with an unthinkable; inconsolable loss. So the Grey-haired, bespectacled grandmother did the only thing she could. She became a standup comic. Actually, it was an accident. accident. Searching for some kind of relief from her pain, Mavis came across a night school brochure offering a course in grief management through humour. She signed up. At her first class, her sweet voice about forgetfulness, forgetfulness, decreased agility, fading eyesight and other hurdles of advancing age. She never swears during her act, but she's not exactly a goody-two-shoes out there on the stage. "Young people are really concerned about what old people think" she purrs into the microphone. "Just the other day, my granddaughter asked nie 'Did you and Grandpa have mutual orgasms?' And I said, well, no dear. We had Metropolitan Life". It didn't take the world of standup long to discover the fresh new voice coming out of Vancouver. Mavis is a smash. She's appearing at night clubs, cafes and conventions all over the city and the lower mainland. mainland. She could work just about every night if she wanted wanted to, but she doesn't. She's got a real life. She also teaches teaches osteo-fit classes to fellow seniors six days a week. "That's where I pick up some of my best material" she says. The best thing about Mavis? Her exit line. Most standup comics invariably end their routines with lame and hapless bailout lines like "Hey, you've been a terrific audience. Thangyuhvemymuch. " Not Mavis. When she finishes finishes her last joke, she pauses, beams out at the audience and (continued page 7) heart fell when she discovered she'd enrolled not in a lecture series, but in a standup comedy comedy workshop. "Not for me" she thought firmly. She was no standup comedian. She was a retired elementary school teacher for heaven's sake. She tried to withdraw from the course. The teacher, sensing something special in Mavis, begged her not to give up just yet-to at least attend a couple of classes and give it a shot. Turned - but Mavis had superb natural timing and a great stage presence. She also had a personal comic mother- lode of material all to herself There's a hoaiy old adage for writers that advises them to "Write about what you know." Mavis decided she would take her humourous material from an area of life that she knew all about, that, curiously, no other standup comedian was tackling: what it's like to get older. It became an absolute gold mine. Other standup comics were screaming and yelling about sex and booze and Osama bin Laden in sulphurous sulphurous X-rated rants. Mavis toddled out to the microphone and talked in a ONTARIO GOVERNMENT SERVICES UPDATE The Ontario Public Service Employees Union (OPSEU) is currently on strike. The Government of Ontario has made a reasonable and responsible offer that is fair to employees and taxpayers, including an across-the-board wage increase of 1.95 per cent in each of three years and increases to address wage disparities in key occupational groups by offering ambulance/communication ambulance/communication dispatchers and scientists an additional increase of eight per cent and nurses an additional increase of 10 per cent. It is not possible to predict how long this disruption of public services will continue, however, the government remains available to resume meaningful . negotiations at any time. Answers to your Questions To further assist you we have provided answers to the most frequently asked questions we're receiving from the public about: Government Payments? • Ontario Disability Support Program recipients should receive their monthly cheque or direct bank deposit on time. • Cheques will still be issued for the Guaranteed Annual Income Supplement payments to low-income seniors. • Ontario Works (social assistance) cheques will continue to be delivered by the municipalities, municipalities, which are not affected by this labour dismption. Driver's Licences? • If your licence expired on or after March 13,2002, you can still drive until the end of the strike. This includes all classes of driver's licences. • If your licence is suspended, the suspension will remain in effect until the strike ends. • If your plate sticker expired on or after March 13,2002, it must be renewed. This can be done at one of more than 280 private Driver and Vehicle Licence Issuing Offices throughout the province; they are listed in the bluejages of your telephone book. Payment is by cash only. Health Cards? • Your health number is still valid. • You may be asked to fill out a health number release form by your doctor or hospital that they will use when filing with OHIP. Medical Treatment for New Ontarians? • New or returning residents can access health services, and as usual will be responsible for paying for those services. The usual three-month waiting period applies until new or returning residents are éligible for OHIP coverage. For up-to-date, pre-recorded information on services, call toll-free 1-866-933-9233 or visit our website at www.ontarioservicesupdate.com Ontario