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8 - Orono Week Wednesday, December 8, 2004 Basic Black by Arthur Black Where have all the icons gone? Quiz time, folks. Your job is to suss out what the following following folks have in common: Pamela Anderson. Alex Trebek. Neil Young. Mary Pickford. Jim Carrey. Leslie Nielsen. Michael J. Fox. Paul Anka. Conrad Black. Well, yes, they are all media celebrities. Household names from Tallahassee to Tuktoyaktuk, but they are something else as well. They are all Canadians. Or at least they used to be. Now, they are all American--with the exception exception of Lord Black, who flipped his Canadian passport over his shoulder in exchange for a British title and now, when nicked, bleeds only deepest Tory blue--except when he's hemorrhaging greenbacks. The rest of the aforementioned aforementioned ex-Canucks chose the Stars and Stripes as their Flag of Convenience--and they have various éxcuses for their switch. Neil Young was so disgusted disgusted with a Canadian audience's audience's luke-warm reception at a concert that he stomped off the stage and straight into a LJ.S. immigration office. He's been living in California ever since. Hey, Neil--ever occur to you that maybe you were just --you know--lousy that night? Alex Trebek came out of Sudbury, Ontario, cut his broadcasting teeth with CBC in Toronto, then packed his bags for Hollywood where he became the long-time host of the TV show Jeopardy. He decided to dump his Canadian citizenship ' and become an American because "my wife is a Yankee and both my kids were bom in the States." Regina-bom Leslie Nielsen discovered 'way back in the '60's that he could find much more work in the U.S. film and TV industries than he could this side of the border. Adios, Canada. Jim Carrey is even more enthusiastic. The plasticene- faced comic who grew up in the town of Newmarket, Ontario, positively gushes about his new found land. "To me, this country (USA) defined me. This country allowed my dreams to come true." All of the above offer different different rationalizations for renouncing the land of their birth, but at bottom, the reason is the same right across the board. Money. Call it more opportunity, opportunity, fresh horizons, bigger audiences, more generous contracts--call it what you like. It all boils down to fatter wallets for those who go south. , Which I guess is as good a reason as any to forsake your birthplace. After all, most Canadians are here because at some point in history our fore- bears in Cracow or Aberdeen or Naples of Düsseldorf decided decided the Old Country was played out and the grass looked greener in that vaulting, vaulting, mammoth far-off land called Canada. This country would not exist were it not for brave souls who were willing to trade in their heritage for a fresh start. So why do I not feel admiration admiration for the Jim Carreys and the Pamela Andersons; the Leslie Nielsens and the Alex Trebeks? Partly because I know they weren't really desperate. They would have done fine here in Canada. They just wanted more. And partly it's because I don't know how it's possible to cease to be what you are. How do you stop being a Canadian? He, writer, Robertson Women in Abusive Relationships For help please call: "The Denise House" for Women & Children Toll Free 1 -800-263-3725 or 905-728-7311 Confidentiality Assured HEARING SERVICE Complete ÜftlSÉl! Mato St-, Orono.j r Includes testing outer, middle & inner IA ear function Dll • Hearing aid recommendation IHMIHLj • Hearing aid service (all makes) • Registered provider for most major insurances For your appointment call: 905*983*6121 r<5> Davies said it best. "I just am a Canadian," he told a reporter. "It's not a thing you can escape from. It is like having having blue eyes." Some cross-border Canadians Canadians obviously don't agree. I have an old pal who makes a tenuous living as a writer in Hollywood. From time to time he phones and updates me on celebrity sightings, backstage gossip and his latest writing coups. Last time he called I sensed something different in his voice. "You sound funny," I told him., "You got a cold or something?" "Actually," he said, "I'm taking a language pronunciation pronunciation course. I'm trying to lose my Canadian accent." The guy's not an actor. . Why would he worry about a Canadian accent? Besides, a .Canadian accent can launch a career. Look what it did for Jeff Douglas, the guy that played 'Joe' in the Molson beer commercial/You know the one--the "I Am Canadian" rant? Yeah, well. Jeff Douglas doesn't live here any more. He moved to Los Angeles last year. More opportunities, he says. Maybe he's right. The beer he was advertising--Molson Canadian--is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the American giant Coors. Would the last Canuck to leave please turn out the lights? Orono Brownies Chantel Dennis (L) and Tori Mercer took part in the club's craft morning at the Orono United Church, Saturday morning. Northcutt Elliott Funeral Home THOUGHTFULNESS, SERVICE & CONCERN A Family Owned Business, Offering: Traditional Funeral Services Pre-arranged & Prepaid Services - Cremation Arrangements Alternatives to Traditional Funerals - Out of Town Shipping CORY KUIPERS - PRESIDENT 53 Division Street 905-623-5668 Bowmanville, Ontario L1C 2Z8 OFF STREET PARKING It pays to BANK at DUCA Advantage # 6 : MORTGAGES (Great rates plus Bonus Shares) Variable Rate Mortgage 3.75% 5 Year Mortgage 5.15% Rates subject to change without notice. For current rates cal your local branch. Call 1-866-800-DUCA or visit www.duca.com Bowmanville Branch Manager: Tom Broadtoot 200 King Street East Tel. (905) 623-6343 bowmanvllle6duca.com Whitby Branch Manager: Paul Muller 1818 Dundas Street East Tel. (905) 728-4658 whitby6duca.com Come bank with tut! DUCA Financial Services ...your Crtéit Vmou! \\\ w Vxx ) n y i'j :j.- r< the tail u.^:cl Got a story to share with our readers? Then this Is your opportunity to put pen-to-paper! You can have the "last Word' simply by e-mailing your story to: oronotlmes@rogers.com or true us at 905-983-5301 or drop by the office: 5310 Main Street, Orono between 8 and 5 Monday to Friday.