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8 . Qrono Weekly Times, Wednesday, 31 Basic Black by Arthur Black r V '• w : M 1 " ii|H SKOOLDAZE In California schools, Chief Crazy Horse is called either Chief Sitting Dude or Chief Mentally Impaired Horse because the word 'crazy' might offend those who are out of their minds. Joe Queenan Mister Queenan exaggerates exaggerates - but not much. It's a wee bit scaiy, what's going on in the schools these days. Or rather, what's coming out of them. Consider the following following statements: "Hitler's instrumentality of terror terror was the Gazpacho." "The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption." contraption." A couple of outtakes from a Mike Bullard monologue? No, those are actual answers offered by American high school students on final exams. And wipe that Canuck holier-than-thou holier-than-thou smirk off your mug -- our kids don't appear to be much ' brighter this side of the border. A recent survey showed that a huge chunk of Canadian high school students didn't know the date of Confederation; failed to find Iqaluit on a map and couldn't name Canada's first Prime Minister. Leamin' the Three R's ain't what it used to be. And if you think this is just another Old Fart "Why-in-my-day-young- feller.." rant - try your luck on this question: 1 : Draw a map of Canada, and mark on it and name (a) Provinces and capitals (b) Montreal, Fort William, Vancouver (c) A transcontinental railway (d) One river flowing north, one west and one east. Didn't fare too well? Too bad. Paid Advertisement M Port Hope Area Initiative Moving Ahead Exploring Alternative Means for Port Granby I f you were building a house, you would probably first make a few important choices: how many bedrooms, bathrooms, do you want a oarage? You would certainly have a price, a neighbourhood and a time-frame in mind. Likewise with the Port Hope Area Initiative, the community made some basic plans before the projects were launched. In the late 1990s, the communities of Clarington, Port Hope and Hope decided to find their own solutions to the management of historic low-level radioactive waste within their municipalities. Councils and their citizen advisors recommended that facilities for management of low-level radioactive waste would be long-term, above-ground, monitored and permit future waste retrieval if desired. The Port Hope and Port Granby Projects, based on these preferences, were launched in July 2001 with a budget and a timeline. While the More interactive workshops are Environmental Assessment process mandated by the federal government, which is funding the Port Hope Area Initiative, explains Mr. Haussmann. ... "Members of the public suggest Alternative Means, and then technical and engineering teams carry out evaluations using criteria that have also been established through consultation with the public." -, These Alternative Means workshops ojve you -- the residents and business owners in Port Hope and Clarington an opportunity to express to the LLRWMO exactly what is most important to you in this process. Get involved "The first two workshops on Alternative Means were to generate ideas," explains Gary Vandergaast, LLRWMO'-s project manager for. the long-term waste management project. "Now we are holding workshops on methodology for evaluation. We can demonstrate to the participants how the ideas from past workshops are being used." means to the end may The Environmental Assessment phase vary, says Chris Haussmann of Haussmann j s expected to continue through next year, Consulting. Mr. Haussmann will be the t j ien t j iere w ju be a regulatory review of all facilitator for two upcoming public findings to date with more public input workshons on Alternative Means to be held before construction of the long-term ailU a UIUCUUG. vv unv uiv iviuic iMiciauu»^ basics of the projects are coming up on March 29 and April 12 established, the alternative workshops on Alternative Means to be held in Port Hope and Clarington. He points out that your three-bedroom, two bathroom house with garage might be a bungalow, it could be a split-level, a two storey, an underground house. It could be brick, stone, wooden-sided, heated by oil, oas electricity, even solar power. However, if, as you further refine your preferences, you choose passive solar heating then an underground house may not be compatible. This is the way the development of Alternative Means works for the Port Hope Area Initiative. As certain community preferences emerge, some alternatives may be ruled out. But the basic concept remains: an economically and technically feasible local solution with the waste stored above ground where it can be monitored and retrieved, should that ever be desired. Important to you In June, and again in October ol last year, the Low Level Radioactive Waste Management Office (LLRWMO) hosled_ public workshops on Alternative Means of carrying out the Port I lope Area Initiative. < "The identification and assessment ol Alternative Means is all part ol the management facilities begins. Alternative Means workshops will be held from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturday March 29, at Newtonville Community Hall for the Port Granby Project, and on Saturday, April 12, at Canton Municipa Hall for the Port Hope Project. Lunch will be provided at both locations. Preregistration Preregistration is required; call Sandy Holmes at 905-885-0291 or 1-866-255-2755. Background materials will be sent by mail to those who register, or can be picked up at the Project Information Exchange, 110 Walton Street, Port Hope. .jMf Pom Hoi'hAMvt iNiumvv Moving Ahead This regular column is published by the Low-Level Radioactive Waste Management Office to inform local residents of progress on the clean-up and safe longterm longterm storage of low-level radioactive waste in the area. For copies of this column or additional information call 905 885-0291, or visit the Project Information Exchange at 110 Walton Street in Port Hope. Visit the Project Information Exchange, 110 Walton Street, Port Hope 1:00-5:00 Monday to Friday Call (905) 885-0291 or 1-866-255-2255 Visit our website: www.lltwmo.org You just flunked the first question question of a geography exam given to Lower School students students in Wellington County, Ontario. Back in 1927. But perhaps Zoology is more your line. Try this one: 1. (a) Describe the codling moth, or the tent caterpillar, or the cabbage butterfly, under the following headings: (i) Egg-laying habits of the adult insect. (ii) Feeding habits of the larva (iii) Methods employed to keep the insects in check, (b) Describe the feeding habits of either the honey bee or the grasshopper. That's taken from the examination examination paper Lower School students in Ontario faced back in June of 1923 - and it was a gimme. The next six questions were tougher. Think it was just those brainy Ontarian kids who got questions like that? Check out these posers: (1) Translate into German: My brother has had money. (2) State the causes, important important incidents and conse quences of the Peloponnesian War. If you're like me, you posted posted a large and fragrant goose- egg on those questions. That means that you and I would have flunked out of high school, had we the bad luck to be students in Alberta... lmost a hundred years ago. Those questions were taken from high school exam papers compiled by the Alberta Department of Education between the years 1906 and 1910. But here we are in 2002, our classrooms awash with shiny computers, lightning-speed calculators and instant access to the world wide web. Our educational standards are infinitely infinitely more sophisticated and refined, right? Stands to reason our students students are too, does it not? Tell it to the Ontario-Ministry of Education. A spokesman for the Ministry has just announced plans to introduce a 'special, remedial course' for graduating students. Officials fear that without the new course, upwards of 60,000 Ontario students won't get their high school diplomas. Why? Because they are functionally illiterate. They can't pass a fundamental fundamental Grade Ten Literacy Exam. When the test was administered- for the first time last year, more than half the students in the non-university stream flunked. An American writer by the name of Joseph Sobran recently recently wrote: "In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to offering offering remedial English in college." college." , Mister Sobran understates the case: ; Continued from front Ministry of Municipal Affairs states that the golf course, though small scale, does not have a direct relationship to the primary use [agriculture]. This application therefore, says Gasser, offend the policies policies and intent of Provincial Policy Statement, the Durham Region Official Plan and the Clarington Official Plan. "Our proposal is small scale," stated Archibald, "secondary "secondary to the existing uses and could be viewed as an opening of the bam doors for the many non-farm residents that visit our site and other businesses within our rural community." The proposed golf course would occupy less than 10% of the Archibald's farming operation. Though some councillors were prepared to look at permitting permitting the golf course with a temporary rezoning, committee committee decided to defer making a decision on this application for one week, to give planning staff time to address in writing some of the issues raised by Gasser in her presentation. Northcutt Elliott Funeral Home THOUGHTFULNESS, SERVICE & CONCERN A Family Owned Business, Offering: Traditional Funeral Services Pre-arranged & Prepaid Services - Cremation Arrangements Alternatives to Traditional Funerals - Out of Town Shipping CORY KUIPERS - PRESIDENT 53 Division Street 905-623-5668 Bowmanville. Ontario LIC 2/8 OFF STREET PARKING Because you love your life. Medic Alert 11 ".The bracelet with an emergency hotline linked to your medical record. call 1-866-734-9423 or visit www.medicalert.ca <E> Medic Alert Lets You Live Life. ----