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W/fi - Orono Weekly Times, Wednesday, October 22,2003 •» «.Si,!:.. '■ :• > Basic Black by Arthur Black Ghosts, goblins and gullibility Well, I see that Halloween, the most blood-curdlingly horrifying horrifying evening on the entire Julian calendar, is almost upon us. Not horrifying for kids - pre-schoolers can handle ghosts, goblins - even fellow trick or treaters dressed in George Bush masks. It's the parents of those kids who are freaked out by Halloween. They're terrified that some shelling-out pervert will slip their kids an apple filled with razor blades, or that drug dealers will be handing out chocolate bars laced with crack. Or that their kids will be scooped up and spirited away by a cabal of Satan-worship- ping kiddy killers. Come Halloween, those parents will escort their kids from door to door, suspiciously eyeballing each candy giver and scrutinizing scrutinizing every bag of treats like Mounties at a grow-op bust. What a waste of time. They are all Urban Legends, folks. Drug dealers do not try to addict schoolkids by doctoring Halloween candy with uppers or downers. A psychopath would have to be terminally stupid to take advantage of a kid who comes to his door surrounded surrounded by potential witnesses. witnesses. And do you want to know how many North American kids have been lacerated by razor-blade laden apples in the past 40 years? None. Nada. Zilch. Zero. But don't take my word for it, ask Joel Best. Doctor Best is a sociologist from the University of Delaware who went to the trouble of scanning six major North American newspapers between 1948 and 1998 for stories about blades in apples and poisoned candies handed out at Halloween. He found about 100 articles on the subject. And then Doctor Best went one step further. He followed up with phone calls and letters to the newspapers, also to local police stations and hospitals. His conclusion? "I haven't been able to find any evidence that a kid has ever been killed or seriously injured by a contaminated contaminated treat received by trick-or-treating," says Best. "I can't say that it has never happened, happened, but to say that it happens happens a lot, that it justifies all the worrying and the warnings? That's overblown. There's just no evidence." So why do we continue to fret? Well, partly because each year the newspapers carry stories stories of young victims of 'suspected' 'suspected' trick-or-treat loot. But there's almost never any follow-up. follow-up. That's because in the vast majority of cases - at least 90 percent, according to Doctor Best - the stories are false alarms, hoaxes or paranoid paranoid exaggerations. We also buy into the Halloween urban legend because we live in the Age of Gullibility. An age when otherwise otherwise reasonable people suck up illogical and irrational notions that would be judged too loopy by the editors of National Enquirer. We are surrounded surrounded by people who believe that: DURHAM REGION Pumpkins can now be set out with your Leaf A Yard Waste collection. For more information contact Durham Region Works Department at 905-579-5264 cr 1 - 300-6b7-5671 waste@regior cJjrnam cr ca cam First Source Realty Inc. The undisputed leader In FULL SERVICE minimum commission Real Estate Thinking of Selling? I would like to list a home in Orono. Would you like to get the best deal in town? You may end up laughing all the way to the bank! Call me for more information Direct: 905-983-5100 Cell: 905-404-3862 E-mail rlnskeeasa@rogers.com MEMBER BROKER _ Office: (905) 686-2641 1*H|f . „ Rinske Easa Fax: (905) 665-7066 Sales Representative • The U.S. militaiy planned . and executed the attacks of September 11. • That the U.S. Airforce is systematically poisoning the continent via 'chem- trails'. • That the Pope is an agent of Satan. • That the world is run by a cabal of reptilian aliens that includes most of the U.S. Presidents, the British Royal family, Princess Di and Brian Mulroney. I'm not making this up. Go to your browser, type in www.davidicke.com and read the ravings of a truly batso lunatic. A best-selling batso lunatic. Tempting as it is, to believe in a genetic link between Mulroney and shakes, only a card-carrying fool - or David Icke - would buy it. Ah, well. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Let me stuff in your loot bag, free of charge, the ultimate Urban Legend, designed to cover all the bases. Don't thank me, thank 'anon' who posted this to my e- mail in box: The KKK is endorsed by Procter and Gamble, who also supports the Satanists, and who sold Mrs. Field's cookie recipe to Neiman Marcus for $2,000 after the kiddy tattoos laced with LSD that were supposed to be used for satanic ritual abuse at that day care center in Beaufort were mistakenly eaten by the choking Doberman who was bitten by the snake that came out of the fur coat that was worn by the escaped homicidal maniac whose hook prosthesis was found hanging from the door of the car of the teenagers who were so stoned they accidentally accidentally put the baby in the microwave that was ruined by the exploding poodle that he had won in a contest at that radio station that played rock records that contained hidden commands and subliminal messages planted by the Jews, ARTHUR BLACK continued page 9 Qanngtum Leading the Way '--* CORPORATION OF THE MUNICIPALITY OF CLARINGTON PUBLIC NOTICE www.municipality.clarington.on.ca Millennium Open House Please join the Full Authority Board & Staff of the Ganaraska Region Conservation Authority for the Official GRAND OPENING of the Ganaraska Millennium Conservation Area & Interpretive Centre { . ;H ÿlF* i| r lMi"X ** A M'S 1 . U-ip- ; ./?• Wednesday, October 29th, 2003 at 1:30. PM 2216 County Road 28, Port Hope Call 905-885-8173 for info Halloween Night Hike w Saturday, October 25, 6-9 PM Ganaraska Forest Centre Get into the Halloween spirit during this spooky guided night hike. Sensory activities and a solo walk will teach you about the world of nocturnal animals. Other optional activities include bobbing for apples, carving pumpkins and creating Halloween crafts. Warm up by the campfire with hot chocolate chocolate afterwards. $20 for families/$8 for adults/$4 for students and seniors To register, please call (905) 797-2721 or email: gfc@eagle.ca NEWCASTLE FUNERAL HOME Family owned and operated by Carl Good, Funeral Director, and Joyce Kufta 386 Mill St, S., Newcastle 987-3964 www.ncwcastlcfuncralhomc.com "Caring for our Community"