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2 Friday, August 12, 2016 Brooklin Town Crier Less than Half the Picture By Richard Bercuson First Showing A few months ago in Ottawa… "Our agent just called. Someone wants to see the house in an hour." "What!? I thought we're supposed to get a day's notice. How can we do all this in an hour?" "Quickly. Scurry!" "Scurry? Who says scurry? No one uses scurry, love…" "Okay, then RUN!" 45 minutes later... "Have you finished vacuuming?" "Just did. How does the dog shed under- neath the furniture?" "Did you vacuum the closets?" "No." "Have to vacuum the closets." "Why, for crying out loud? No one lives in a closet." "People look in closets. They're nosey." "Should I hide my Hawaiian muscle shirt collection?" "Good thought." "I'll put the new petunia duvet on our bed. I guess the Montreal Canadiens one might displease some." "Sadly, yes. Also change the PK Subban pillows." "That'll be painful." "Did you dust the tops of all the artwork frames?" "Don't need to." "Yes, dear, you do. People are nosey and…" "Okay, okay." "No underwear hanging on the back of the bathroom door?" "No." "We've still got 15 minutes. Did you check the backyard for dog deposits?" "Yup. Found four more. I don't think you picked up after her last weekend." "I certainly did. And you double checked? We can't have people traipsing through the lawn and stepping in it." "A thorough clean-up. What's next?" "I'm thinking...full rolls of toilet paper...seats down...white towels...clean sinks...barren kitchen...photos stored...curtains open...all lights on…" "I don't get that one. It's the middle of the day." "We do what the stager asked. They're the professionals...ah-ha, just remembered... trash in the garage with lids closed. We had fish last night." "It was at a restaurant." "The smell lingers on the clothes." "You want me to throw away what I wore?" "Just stuff it in the hall closet, behind your grandmother's old fur coat." "Mink." "No one wears those." "I plan to, at the next winter convention of animal rights activists." "Sure. Are we done?" "I believe so. Now, do we take two cars or leave one in the driveway, you know, to make the place look lived in?" "Leave one. It covers the ugly oil stain." "Good thought. What about that chunk of broken asphalt? If you back up the SUV a bit, we can cover it AND most of the oil stain. When someone approaches from the back, they'll never notice." "I'll take care of it." "Alright. Let's go - wait!" "What now?" "How could I be so stupid!?" "About what?" "The pantry...I left the cans of lobster soup in front of the chicken soup cans, right at the front of the shelf! My God! What an over- sight! Imagine what people will think. They can be so nosey." "Let's get a coffee and sit at the end of the street to see who's coming to our house." "Good idea." Dolphins Haul in Medals at Provincial Meets By Tamara Hawkins Last month, the Whitby Dolphins Swim Club sent 14 talented swimmers to Summer Provincial championship meets. The Championships drew close to 1000 swimmers from across the province, one of the largest provincial championships ever held by Swim Ontario. It had to be split to two venues to hold preliminary swims. Brooklin swimmers Ethan Placek and Benoit Potvin, along with Sarah Hawkins, Ian Johnson, Olivia Kelly, Sebastien Lanctot, and Judson Nickerson competed with Placek earning a Gold medal in the 50 m Freestyle, Silver medals in 100 m Freestyle, 200 m Freestyle and 400 m Freestyle. He was also 4th in the 200 m Medley and 6th in the 400 m medley. Judson Nickerson captured a bronze medal in the 1500 m freestyle and had top 8 finishes with a 7th in the 200 m freestyle, 5th in 400 m freestyle, 5th in 800 m freestyle and 8th in 400m medley. In the 13 and under Ontario Summer Festival Championship, Brooklin swimmers Mccaley Campbell, William Mitchell, and Paige Shaw competed alongside Isaac Allen, Christian Derby, Gregory Peckham, and Josie Santaguida. This meet is an excellent showcase of the fastest under 13 swimmers in the province. These young dolphin swimmers represented the team well, swimming to new best times in a weekend of fast races. Looking for a Job? Renovated Oshawa Centre holding Job Fair The Oshawa Centre mall will hold a job fair with 60 businesses hiring 700 full- and part- time workers. The Fair takes place on Aug. 13 between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. Businesses will be accepting resumes and conducting on-the-spot interviews. The career exhibition is at the mall (419 King St. W.). Job seekers need updated resumes as well as a piece of photo ID. The mall is finishing a $230-million renovation and expansion with official grand opening ceremonies scheduled for Sept. 29.