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2 Friday, July 29, 2016 Brooklin Town Crier Less than Half the Picture By Richard Bercuson Full rolls ome months ago, in Ottawa."Mr. Bercuson, you may find staging difficult." "Most people would never go on a stage." "Staging your house." "Why would I put a stage in my house? Whenever I make a grand entrance, even the dog cowers." "Preparing your house for sale. Putting it on display." "So that's why you're here. I thought you were a buyer sent by the realtor." "I'm the stager." "There's even a name for it." "Of course." "You mean, I could make a living telling peo- ple how cluttered their houses look and to throw everything away?" "That's a de-clutterer." "De-cluttering and staging aren't the same?" "Parallel universes." "You need to know astro physics, too?" "I just happen to be into time travel." "Perfect. Then let's jump ahead a month and have my house sold." "First we need to stage it. All photos gone." "They're my grandchildren. They're cute. Aren't they cute?" "Everyone's are cute. Put them away." "Okay, okay." "Please also hide the little knick knacks and baubles." "All?" "All. Box 'em up. Next, buy white hangers for the closets." "I don't suppose you own shares in the dollar stores, do you?" "Nope. Now for the bathrooms." "Box those up, too?" "No smells. No soap. White towels only." "Who uses white towels?" "Hotels." "True. I remember one little place in particular in Strasbourg." "Sir, you stole a hotel towel in Strasbourg?" "Sort of ended up in the soiled clothing bag. Then there was Vegas." "Another laundry bag?" "Actually no. Left it behind. But the white terrycloth robe…" "Sir, I don't want to know any more. Also leave only full rolls of toilet paper." "Why the full roll?" "People don't want to see parts of a roll. It looks like it's been used." "Should I remove the toilet as well? It's also used. Parallel universe to the toilet paper." "Sir, there can be no hint of…" "Human acts? Seems a bit extreme." "It's a mindset among buyers. When you go into someone's home, do you want to see a leftover toilet paper roll? It makes you think of what goes on in a bathroom." "I have a pretty good idea what goes on there anyway. A partial roll just confirms it. A full roll tells me something else, which I can't even imagine." "Well, sir, you're certainly a minority there. Research tells us to stage a bathroom with a full toilet paper roll." "Research? Someone got a grad degree on that topic?" "Probably. Now then, about the stuffed fish in your office…" Brooklin Takes Centre Stage By Cady Dreger I Learned to Yodel for Young Frankenstein I now know how to yodel, sometimes spontaneously, while bouncing on a hay wagon, which feels as ridiculous as it appears. As for accents, my Ger-man sounds Swedish, or is it vice versa? These have been two of my challenges while learning the lead role of the carefree, promiscuous Inga in the upcoming stage show Young Frankenstein. It's being mounted by The Never Ending Production Company (TNEPC), August 4-14, at Whitby's Centennial Building. If you're looking to spice up your summer or need a good side-split-ting laugh, you can't miss this. It's the 2007 Broadway adaptation of Mel Brooks's classic 1970 comedy. More importantly, it's the debut of TNEPC, which was created last year by director Brandon Rideout. He wanted "to give opportunity to young adults who are ready to delve into theatre in its best from - to push the envelope and to challenge the limits of every cast member." This hysterical production follows Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (pronounced "Fronk-en-steen") as he leaves his position as a professor of medicine in New York to return to Transylvania where he must claim the estate of his late grandfather, the infamous mad scientist, Dr. Victor Von Frankenstein. He teams up with his stooge, Igor, his leggy lab assistant, Inga, and a cranky German housekeeper, Frau Blucher. Together, they create a new monster that wreaks havoc on the town. Hilarity and flashy dance numbers ensue. The only Brooklinite in the cast, I can assure you how difficult the process has been. I've been involved in community theatre for a few years, however, Young Frankenstein has introduced some unique challenges. Inga's lifestyle has required me to really push my boundaries as a performer and, despite the easygoing nature of the musical, it has been one of my most demanding roles. Fortunately, the incredible energy of my fellow cast mates motivates me to give this part my all. An immense amount of hard work goes into creating this show. We began in February with one rehearsal each week, then doubled it, and eventually reached our current regimen of five rehearsals weekly. Some are four hours long; some have been 12! But it's a necessary commitment for a production that has numerous ensemble dance numbers, yodeling, tap dancing, stage combat, and onerous harmonies. Young Frankenstein is double cast and I'm in Cast "B." While both casts are equally impressive, you can only see me as Inga on August 5 (8 pm), 6 (8 pm), 11 (8 pm), 13 (2 pm), and 14 (2 pm). There are both evening performances and matinees. Tickets are available at the door or at www.tnepc.ca/tickets. The Centennial Building is located at 416 Centre Street in Whitby. Cady as Inga Who's this new BTC editor? A retired English and phys. ed. teacher and self-proclaimed cheeky fellow, Richard Bercuson has written gaggles of essays, columns, and features for a variety of publications. He was an Ottawa Citizen columnist and sportswriter at the Montreal Gazette. The author of two non-fiction books, he's also had various short stories published, winning Canada's Arthur Ellis award for one and regional humour awards for others. Along the way, there have been a few editor stints, too. Plus he's dabbled in writing, producing and sometimes performing in plays. When not whining about a chronic hamstring issue that keeps him (temporarily) from still running marathons, he works with Hockey Canada teaching and mentoring coaches. If you really need to know more, visit his web site: richardbercuson.ca