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2 Friday, September 9, 2016brooklintowncrier.com Less than Half the Picture By Richard Bercuson Speed up! With 12 hours of free time and a fluffy pillow, you can enjoy Whitby's 2014 "Downtown Brooklin Transportation Study." The report detailed traffic movement and such, then made recommendations. It's an impressive work. Mind you, the word "is- sue" appears 60 times in 83 pages, so I'm guessing we have some. Unfortunately though, it excluded Brooklin's lower east side, below Winchester and east of Baldwin, which means its forsaken residents have to collect empirical evidence. In traffic parlance, this means trying weird things till you die. For instance, they've tested their mettle by dashing across streets as cars zip by. Occasionally they resort to hope, like hoping vehicles such as that Ford SUV (yes, ma'am, you!) will slow down near the Duggan playground because children lack mettle. Consider, too, Iberville Road, named for the 17th century French Canadian trader and soldier nobody's heard of, Pierre Le Moyne d'Iberville (which would never fit on a sign). The street is the quickest conduit from Anderson into a new development. In fact, the local constabulary lies in wait for those who deem the speed limit a suggestion, like stop signs in Montreal, coincidentally where le Monsieur combed his wigs. Whitby's report didn't refer to this route nor to, say, St. Thomas Street which is longer and has the same speed limit. All of which leads me to conclude speed limits are of little use. I can't explain how I reached this conclusion except to say it was very late at night, after an adult beverage, and while walking the dog who I'm sure first came up with it. From a practical standpoint, if you drive a half kilometre at the posted 40, it will take about 45 seconds. That's a long and wasteful time. If you go 70, however, you can make the trip in just 26 seconds. Given the dearth of annoying stop signs and crosswalks in the lower east side, why should drivers be further hindered? What to do with those saved 19 seconds behind the wheel? You could send a few texts or at the very least, a nicely posed selfie. You could even eat a hot dog. If you choke on a chunk, you're still close enough to get to the EMS folks at Anderson and Taunton before expiring. Now you might ask, what about driving fast through residential areas where there are lots of - um - residents? Frankly, we put too much of a burden on drivers. Children, old folks, moms with strollers, and even the cute little bunnies should learn to judge speeds and when to dart across streets. These are life - and, as I've illustrated, math - lessons. How better to prepare today's seven year old for a future in a big city like Markham where no one cares? Let's go a step further. Post signs around the neighbourhood. They'd say, "Please speed up! We want the challenge." Golf Tourney Seeks Sponsors On the eve of the Eighth Annual Wolfpack Golf Tournament, organizers could use a few more sponsors and prizes. The tournament, which will be at Columbus Golf Course on Saturday, Sept. 10., aims to raise more than the $30,000 it collected last year in support of Lakeridge Health and the Oshawa Community Cancer Centre. To donate prizes please, email: info@wolfpackgolftourney.com Love Your Garden? Would you considering sharing your labour of love with the community? Whitby in Bloom is looking for some beautiful Brooklin gardens for the July 15th, 2017 garden tour. Please send photos of your front and back yard to Jane Austin at janeaustin000@msn.com or call Jane at 905-668-1054. This year was a huge success and the committee is looking forward to continuing the fun in 2017!