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A WEEKLY _ 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, BAIRD & PARSONS. TERMS. --$1 annum, if . vance; if 3 sho wil be paid tp are paid. : : RATES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insert Subsequent insertions, per line . ay dressed to this Office, pre-paid and ed, will be at our risk, cupy. . antil fordid and A liberal di t to Merch half-year. strictly adhered to. | Job Department. career» §0 08 . 002 < Cards, under 6 lines, per annum... . 5 00 Letters containing money, when ad- regester- 'Advertisments measured by Nonpareil, <nd charged according to the space they ac-- Advertismentg veceived for publication, without specific instructons, willbe inserted ghurged aiccodingly. No advertisment will be taken out until paid for. and others. who advertise by the year or 9&5 These terms will in all cases De «Hoth @ntar fo Obserurs, | ELEN RY GRIST, - POLITICAL, AGRICULTURAL, sup FAMILY NEWSPAPER, EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, VOL. XVI, NO. 29.1 g H PATENT SOLICITOR AND DRAUGHTSMAN, OTTAWA, CANADA, Transacts business with the Patent Office and other dep: ts of the G t Copyrights and the Registration of Trade Marks and Designs procured" Drawings, Specifications, and other Documents ngces- sary to secure Patents of Invention, prepared on receipt of the model of the Invention. ----------------------------------------. Auctioneers. W. M. WILLCOX, ONT AND GENERAL ADVERTISER. PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, JULY 9, 187 4. MONEY T0 LOAN ! MORTCACES WANTED. HE have large sums of mon- ey placed in their hands for investment on mproved Farms, iene perties, an other Securitics in this an joining Counties at the lowest current rates of interest. As we have funds on hand at all times Borrowers lvandep nd on getting their money with the ieast possible delay. WANTED TO PURCHASE, Any number of Mortgages for which the high- est figures will be allowed. Wearealso appraisers for tha Canada manent Building Society, the chea largest Monetary Institution in Ca up Capital $1,500,000. in from 2 to 20 years. a Per- a Instalments re-payable Lands Bought and Sold. Several good farms for sale. Z#~ Agents for several first class Fire In- m AUCTIONEER, ¥OR THE COUNTY OF ONTARIO. AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARIPOSA & CARTWRIGHT, EGS to thank his many friends and the B public generally, for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the past five years. Having now given upmthe i of Bailiff, I. intend, in future, to devote my whole time to the business of Auctioneer, Collecting, &c. - ; It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful ion to i to give full satisfaction to all who may favor we with their Sales or Collecting. free of charge. Also Bill Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can be made for sales &c., --_-- NOVEL 70 LEAD! Bi'ls draughted and Blank Notes furnished to lend upon Farm 'und Town Property, at | surance Companies. Collections made and a general agency busi- ness transacted. Z&~ DEBENTURES BOUGHT." JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, General Agents, Office in Mr, Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. | Pert Perry, Oct. 11, 1872, The undersigned has any afnount of Money Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit A large Stock of Locks, HOES--Turnip and Field. FORKS--Hay and Manure. Aspiisirigloloicha) 1 Port Perry, July 7, 1874. cosh po ---- THE CIRCULAR SAW HAS JUST RECEIVED! A very large Stock of the following Goods for finishing up SES! 4000 1bs of my own Brand White Lead. 20 Barrels of English Boiled and Raw Linseed Oil. Butts, and Screws. A large Stock of ail kinds of Harvest Tools. SCYTHES--Ctadle and Grass. SPPADES--Lonz and Short Handle. SHOVELS--Long and-short handle. ol 1oisislolcly Put up 1n the latest style and very Cheap. CALL AND SEE MY STOCK. 0119 3 (0113 od W. T. PARRISH. EP] C. MC' KENZIE, PROPRIETOR PRE Subscriber having now fully equipped his new and extensive Livery Stables with a supply of superior Horses and Carriages, is prepared to furnish first class LIVERY RIGS on Moderate Terms, C. MCKENZIE, Port Perry, Aug. 6, 1873, 34 pr PERRY HOUSE, PORT PERRY. JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. The above House is now most comfort ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in the Home Style. Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first class Stabli nd good Ostlers.-- Additions have been made which make this the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. PEs S DOMINION HOTEL, At the Railway Station, PORT PERRY. Every attention given to the accommoda- tion and comfurt of guests. The table and bar supplied with the best the Market af fords. Choice Liquors and the best brands of Cigars. Excellent stable and shed ac- commodation, and attentive ostlers. D. B. DENISON, Proprietor. orn SL EE (yt i PORT PERR ri JAMES DEWART, - PROPRIETOR. The Subscriber having leased this excel- lent Hotel and fitted it up with a view to Sian Bereta the comfort of guests and the accommoda- tion of the general public, will be glad to welcome old friends and new to take part in the hospitality of the Queen's. The Mable carefully supplied, Choice Liquors and Cigars in the Bar, the Yard and Stables punctually attended to. The Queen's is conveniently situated a few rods west of the Post Office. JAMES DEWART. Port Perry, Nov. 11, 1873. A NGLO-AMERICAN HOTEL, a PRINCE ALBERT, ONT. WM. BADGEROW, PROPRIETOR. The above commodious hotel has been newly renovated and furnished throughout, and has ample accommodation for the re- ception of guests. It supplies & most con- venient point for Commercial travelers. Comfortable and tentive ostlers. (rane HOTEL, GREENBANK. R. McRAE, PROPRIETOR. view to the comfort and convenience of the traveling public. the table and the and an attentive ostler. Greenbank, March 25, 1874. PrreE HOUSE, UTICA. J. DAFOE, PROPRIETOR. and cigars. stabling. (ones HOTEL, - BAINTFIBLD, J. JENNINGS, = PROPRIETOR. Ao HOTEL, WHITBY. A. MASON, - PROPRIETOR. the comfort and convenience of the travel public. = Every attention Ostlers will have charge of the stables. t 'Whitby, June 20, 1870. --_ REVERE HOUSE, { MANCHESTER, J. TENNYSON, - PROPRIETOR, and cigars, Every attention paid to gu 3 at thee Opseaver Office, and at the Standard the borrower. 8 Phamplets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro-| Office, Port Perry. Also several Improved Farms, and Wild grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt W. M. WILLCOX, |Tands for sale, cheap. Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, Businoss Prince Albert, Oct. 25, 1873. Investments made in Municipal Deben-- Cards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and y Get. <9, { 5 : iP y 2 2 ey {tures Lank and other marketable Stocks. -golor, executed promptly and at lower rates ) than any other establishment in the County. CROTHERS & WILSON Apply to §&>~ Parties from a distance getting hand | yjcensed Auctioneers for the County : JAMES HOLDEN, « bills, &c. printed can have them done to take of Ontario, ' Official Assignee, Broker, &c. some with them. x --_-- Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- J: BAND: : H- EARBONS: RE prepared to conduct Sales anywhere {lan's Block, Brock st., Whitby. = A in the County. Whitby, April 10, 1873. > | i Parties placing their Sales in our hands | ih ---- J Professional Ears. | AI Ee utmost attention being | nr ywTRINT NY a = iven to their interests. | MON EY . N ONEY . DE JONES SN ATI0nY Physicians, | © G. Crothers is also Agent for all kinds of urgeaus and Accoucheurs, Agricultural Implements. IT TE 1 TANT . | + i / 4 Puri Perry: All orders addressed to G. Crothers, Epsom | MORE ) [ONEY ! Office, over Allison's Drug Store, Queen-st. |p 0, will receive prompt attention. a rE : ®. JONES, M. D,, CORONER, | A, E. MALLORY, : The Subscriber would intorm all in want County Ontario. | M.D.,C.M, "of Money that he is prepared to negotiate Wm. Gordon, | Loans with the Tinst and Loan Society of D®* BRATRWALTS, orry. Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &¢. Toronto, for any amount -of money from Eee | TOR the Township of Broch, Uxbridge, | $400 ALD UPW ARDS «f\R. WARE, Coronor for the County of Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa! . ; y D Ontarie, hysician, Surgeon and Ac-|and Eldon, os Mone Si wy on ane or farm sonchicur, Parties entrusting their Sales to me | Property The int rest is only 8 per cent. Frinee Albert. Wo on the utmost attention being given No Commission «barged, and Loans pro- ere ---- to their interests. cured without delay. X7 PHILP, M. D,, late of Newburg, Ont. M. GORDON, JOHN TAYLOR. W. Physition, Sirgen Bem ? No. Manchester, Nov. 12, 1673. > ar #8 Office Over Mr. Currio's Store, "B= ee \ | 4 Residence at the house of the Rov. 8. Philp, THOS. H. WALSHE. . MOH H | MOREY | { Sen, South of tho School House, Prince Albert: ian Auctioneer for the Township { el piel i 5 3 of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in | pS GILL RA Ee ioe se, | North Ontario'; Maripgsa, etc, in'the County | Ty ONEY TO LOAN at 8 per cout interest | Oshawa. oa hesidencom Currington, Brock. , IV. i A " Orders left at this office, or at his residence P. A. HURD. Wa WaT J FRAN Banya: will be punctnally attended to. Debts col- Port Perry, March 12, 1874. 12 lected in Cannington, ore otherwise, and! -------------r----r------rr M. F. MCBRIEN, M.D, M. R. , 8, Guy's . Sed 2 i h prompt remittances made. Remember-- | Amp - W tospital Londdy, England. ThelyoR. | \uya'y gp the North Ontarid Auction-| THE ONTARIO FARMERZ omy gt. © 'Mutual Insurance Company. C E. MARTIN, M. D. Simcoe St, Two doors m= . North of the Central Hotel, | This Company is now fully organized and is Oshawa. | prepared to accept rishs on Farm Buildings | = ee = and their contents, country School Houses | E. FAREWELL, LL. B., County Crown | and Churches. Those wishing to insure and | 8 | ttarney for Ontario, Bar ty oc: | thereby support a Home Insurance Company | eapied by 8. H. Unehrane: Esq., Brock street, IST OF DIVISION COURTS have now an opportunity of doing 80, either | thy. by applying to the Head Office, or to any of FOR THE the local Agents of the Company. Our rates YVAN LL. ENGLISH LL. B., Solicit will be found as low as those of any respon- A ar. Atorney, ok. Skene C oun t y of oO n t ario, sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. Oshawa. c EX | Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel Ofice--3imeoe street, opposite the Post Office. FOR, TIE] YEAR 1874, Brock St., Whitby PD 2 ! -------------------------------------------------------- | 1 a J 3 YOUNG SMITH, Li. B, Barrister, Al 2 2], TEs L. FAIRBANKS, Jr, . tornay-at-Law, Solicitor in Chancery, g 215 E1Z\8 Z(E and Insulvency, Notary Public, &c. = |= |< 7 = Ei | Office--McMiilan's Block, Brock street, Size 1 1 2 ) Whitby. 3 Eh REE WESTERN ASSURANCE COMP'Y 0; "| 62 9 2) ¥ "MERON & MACDONNELL, Barristers | 0 i te 4 : 3 ; > MER! 2 zl V7 5 CA Attorneys at Law, Soliciiors County | Beaverton. | | of |i] TORONTO. Council, Ontario. Offices : Court House. « Mara, T, Hall .. i110 Whitby. ES M. C, CAMERON, H. J. MACDONNELL. Z. BURNHAM, Incorporated. .......... AE 1851. a ---------------------- eee UDGE. Gzo. H. DartssLy, Junior Judge. : oy A. HURD, Atto t Law, and Solicitor $ « -- In ay: OO Mee in the Royal Arcade, | Whitby, Jan. 1, 1874. | Capital $4.00.000. Fort Perry. he President . Hon. Jobn McMurrich. tis AION SONeito Vice-President ...U. Magrath, Esq. ANES LAMON ! Aioroey 5t 1 Jaw, ot Secretary ...Bernard Haldan, Esq. Agent, &c., Uxbridge. Office in Parish's Block, JAMES PRINGLE Main Street, " ide fH Uxbridge. General Agent. OHN BILLINGS, Buirister, Attorney at ¥ : ST ae JW, Solicitor in Chancery, Notary P ~ N JI BEI EIE | vr rriage Licenses, | AGRICULTURAL Port Perry. 3 \ = tame [IMPLEMENTS 'W. Maurice hrane, TsuEp at Port Perry. Office, the Scugog . AE Solicitor in Chan- House. HENRY ALES AND cory, Notary Public, &c. &c. CHA . Office hours punctually from 9am. to 6 pm. REP AIRS wf. Money to Loan at 8 per cent, on all Eo kinds of good security. 2 : w ©) y Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, 20 ex @» 28BRY PORT PERRY. % --_-- - O.N. VARS, L. D. 8B. R. RICHARDSON, Ww ITH u view to better accommodating EETH iaserted on all the latest princi SSUER of Marriage Licenses Office-- the Farmers of North Ontario, Mari- eet of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- Lot 10, in the 1st concession of Brock. |posa and Cartwright, and to further meet the . est, and as good as the best. Teeth fed] ----m8 Mmm rapidly increasing demand for the With Gold and Silver, Teeth extracted > Johuton Self-Raking per, without pain by producing local anmsth- John McDo IL 1d, |" Cayuga cnet Mower, esia, Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new MARBLE DEA LER ! Plows lta. block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King NEWCASTLE, ONT. - anning Ce Street, Oshawa, CASTLE, . As manufactured by Brown & Patterson, of e * ONUMENTS, Tomb-Tables, Head- | the the Whitby Agricultural Works, and all . JOHN 8 M WILLCOX, Stones of great variety, with gvary de- REPAIRS for these Implements, scription of Marble Work, suitable for Cem- ' : eteries, supplied at short notice. Also A N A Cc BE N C Y 0" the Town of Whitby, has been ap-| Peterhead and Aberdeen Granite. pointed wo 5 Pasties will find it to their advan. | Has been opened by Brown & 'atterson . OFFICIAL ASSIGN tage to withhold their orders until called on > for the county of Ontario. Any business by > AT 1 ORT PER RY. entrusted to his charge will be carefully at- J. C. WILLIAMSON, |For the regular supply of all the above at tended to, : : AGENT. | the same prices as they are soldept the ; isfacti teed, and all work war- | Works. All Beste for ho J B gion. . BURNHAM, Clerk of the Third Divi- ranted. Reaper, Cayuga Chief Mower, Plow nts, a J . wr Coat. Simos in Fiseiow's Block, January 10, 1872 3.r | Land Sides, and all other repairs kept con = oh Lh -- stuntly on band. oo JOHNSTON, .to8 p. Mm. . F EN BEARINE ao! TT 5 . Remember the place, East of Thomp- CHAS. THORN, VS, For the Hair. son's Tiotel, Port Perry. EMBER of the Vetorinary 1 titute Prepared from the Pure Grease of Having established the gore Agency, so Chicago, Ill. Gold Me THE AN. BEAR as to be fully represented in Nort! 0, 'best exami gu Horse Practice, Altior CANADA ! we have lately Sppointel Be. Walker, of of a First Prize on Shoeing. u- : 2 x Utica, as our Agent, who, with our presen ated Sept. 16, Sr ? It produces a luxurious growth. oni H. 8. Johnston, of Port Perry, will ' It beautifies and strengthens the Hair. all upon vou, soliciting your orders for the Dr. Thorn begs to announce that he has| Jt makes the Hair soft and pliant. coming 'season. talten 'up bis residence ab Port, Perty, aud i Teimparts to the Hair a rich glossy finish. BROWN & PATTERSON. now pre er tis perfect 1 t atiok 1 his care in the most skillful and scientific | T¢ stimulates the roots of the a Oct. 1, 1873. 41 manner. © All orders left at the Medical Hall | 1¢ enlivens brachy and weak Hair. OHN CHRISTIE i of Mr-Allison, will receive prompt attention. | 1 prolongs vitality. J Swe "47 GLEBE, 865 Th) Veterinary Stables may be found Sold by Druggists.--50 cts, per bottle. water of Marriage Licenses--Conveyanoer on Lilly streot, opposite Cossitt's Factory. | PERRY DAVIS & SON, Sole Proprietors, Commissioner, &c. Port Perry, Oct. 28, 1873, 377 St Paul Strect, Montreal, P.Q. Office~--Manchester. 3 A : - = } - . J rr L a " iv reful Ostlers always in attendance. PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES, roomy stabling and at~ The above hotel has undergone a thorough renovation, and has been fitted up with a Suict attention paid to bar. Comfortable stables Good accommodasions. Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. The bar supplied with the best wines, liquors This Hotel has undergone a thorough re- Myr novation and been fitted up with a view. to ling to the table and bar, while obliging and attentive Having purchased the above Hotel, has furnished the Bar with the choicest liquors Stages to and from Uxbridge call ir] NOW FOR FIRST CLASS LIVERY RIGS. W. H. PARK, Jr, . I AS fitted up a Livery Stable opposite the Post Office, Port Perry, where first class Livery Rigs can always be had on moderate terms, W. H. PARK, Jr., Proprietor. Port Perry, Jan, 22, 1874. 5 LUGGAGE TAKEN TO AND FROM THE STATION 5 Village Tattling. Oh | could there in this world be found, Some little spot ot happy ground Where friendship love and truth abound 'Without the village tattling ! How doubly blest the spot would be. Where all might dwell at liberty, Free from the bitter misery Of gossips' endless prattling | If such a spot were really known, Dame Peace might will it as her own, And in it she might fix her throne, Forever and forever ; There like a queen might reign and live While every one would soon forgive The little slights they might receive, And be offended never. "Tis mischief makers that remove Far from our hearts the warmth of love, And leads us all to disapprove. What gives anothér pleasure; They seem to take one's part--but when They've heard our case unkindly, then They soon retail them o'er again, Mixed up with poisonous measure: And then they've such a charming way Of telling ill-meant tales--they say ; « Don't mention it, O don't mention'it pray ; I would not tell another.' Straight to your neighbors you will go, Narrating every thing they know, And break the peace of high and low, Wife, husband, friend and brother. Oh that the mischief-making crew Were all reduced to one or two, And they were painted red and blee That every one might know them! Then would our villagers forget To rage and quarrel, fume and fret, And fall into an angry pet, The Head of the Family. Our story begins with the death of our hero. The manner of it was decapitation. A young son of the deceased, dumb with horror, seized the paternal head and ran off with it to the house. There!" ejaculated the young man, bowling the gory pate across the threshold at his mother's feet, look at that, will you?' ' The old lady adjusted Ler specta- cles, lifted the dripping head into her lap, wiped the face of it with her apron, and gazed into the fishy eyes with tender curiosity. 'John,' she said, thoughtfully, ¢ is this yours ?' 'No, ma, it ain't none o' mine.' --.¢ Join, continued she, with a cold unimpassioned earnestness, "where did you get this thing 2 «Why, ma,' returned the hopetul 'that pa's.' « John"--and there was just a& touch of severity in her voice-- -- WHOLE NO. 858 | then the paper blazed up and curled over and around the bundle and swayed right and left with the night wind. He waved, the signal of fire back and forth, just when he was" ready to believe that death under the wheels was certain, he heard the whistle for brakes. y ~ He could hear the wheels grind- ing and groaning, the hiss of steam as the engineer threw back his lever and the heavy cars came to a stop with the great light shining down upon him, paling his dying signal. -- He was saved, but the evgine bad him. The fireman came forward, got a crowbar and released him, and and he was taken back to the ca-- boose. The train men were very kind to him, and yesterday he found acquaintances here who arranged for his board until he will be able to work. His foot is badly swelled ard very tender, and it will Ue several days before he will be able to walk. Cheer Him. ¢when your mother asks you a ques- tion you should answer that partic- ular question. Where did you get this.' ¢Qut in the medder, then, ef you're soderned partikellar' retorted John somewhat piqued, 'the mowin' machine lopped it off.' The old lady rose and restored the With things so much below htem. For tis a sad degrading part To make another's bosom smart. And plant a dagger in the heart We ought to love and cherish. Then let us every one be found In quietness all around While friendship, joy and peace abound, And angry feeling pensh, -- Pay As You Go. A word of good counsel We ne'er should forget Is that which forewarns us To keep out of debt, For half of life's burdens That man overthrows Who starts outs determined + Topay as he goes. 'Tis folly to listen AND AROUND TOWN, The Subscriber is prepared to convey Chests, Trunks, Boxes and every other de- scription of Luggage to or from the Railway Station or anywhere around town. All Orders promptly attended to. Charges moderate, J. COOK. Port Perry, Jan, 1st, 1874, FIRST CLASS TAILORING. Tes class Tailoring in all its depart-- ments, AT HUGOE'S, PRINCE ALBERT, Work made up on the shortest notice in the latest styleiand at moderate" rates. A good fit guaranteed. Remember the place, opposite Cook's Hotel. R. HUGOE. Prince Albert, April 2, 1874. 15 MONEY (Private Funds,] To Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- terest. . (LYMAN ENGLISH, BARRISTER, &c., Oshawa, November, 21, 1866. 14 QERYINB AS IMPORTED! HENRY CHARLES H*® Received a further supply of TENNANT'S XXX PORTER And ALE in Stone Jars. HENNESSY'S JULE ROBIN & Co. aad OTARD'S BRANDY. KENTE'S HOLLAND and OLD TOM. PORT and SHERRY WINE. ALSO ALD. WELLS' TORONTO ALE. WALKER'S Extra MALT and RYE. WITH A general assortment of Teas, Sugars Codfish, Can'd Fruits, Fish, &c.,&c Port Perry, Sept. 8, 1873. Y & PORT PERRY EX- WW I Fiero WAY. TIME TABLE No. 8. Takes effect on Wednesday, the 22, April, 1874, Trains run To) Ti: hi | ois ap BE . TRAINS GOING NORTH, aad E PN: BLESEERS ® el K 1 8! 2.48 HT Whitby Junction. anor Stations--Trains stop on signals onnecting at Whitby Junstion with the G. Fh East and West; rt ier ane Sn me JAMES HOLDEN, Managing Director To those who assert, That a system of credit Doves good and no hurt. For many have squandered 'I'heir incomes away, And hearts hav been wrecked by A promise to pay. A man to be honest, As merchant or friend, | In order to have, Must be willing to spend. head into theghands of the youug man. Then straigtening with some difficulty ber aged back, and assum' ing a matronly dignity of bearing and feature she emitved the following rebuke. . = son the gentleman whom you hofd in your hand--any more point- ed allusion to whom would be pain- ful to us both--has punished you a hundred times for meddlin' with things laying about the farm. Take the head back and put it where you found it or you will mother very angry.' make your ree AN HOUR OF TERROR. IN THE GRIP OF A VICE BEFORE APPROACHING RAILWAY TRAIN. There arrived in the city on Friday morning over the Grand Trunk Railway a man named Patrick Me- Arthur, who met with a thrilling adventure about 6 miles east of the junction on Thursday night. Me is a laboring man, and having no mon- ey, and failing to got a ch work his passage down from Port AN Is it love or affection Or faith that the bestow? Return their full value, And pay as you go. He loses the sweetness That life can impart Who locks up a treasure Of wealth in his heart : To reap a rich harvest Of pain and regret When, too late he discovers How great was his debt. No loss like the losing. That pomes of delay, In binding the wounds that Are bleeding to-day | For where is the comfort Of tears that are shed On the face of the dying-- The grave of the dead ? A word of good counsel We ne'er should forget ; And to keep out of danger, Is to keep out of debt! 1f peace and contentment And joy you would know, Don't live upon credit, but pay as you go | e---- Hashed is the latést and most graphic way ot saying that a man has been run over by a locomotive and ten or fifteen cars. «1 tell you,' said a Wisconsin man to a neighbor next day after burying his wife when I came to get into bed and lay thar and not hearing Lucinda jawing around for an hour and a half, it made me feel as if I'd moved into a strange country. « My dear boy" said a fond aunt to a very fst living nephew, don't you know that in 1eading this very irregular life you are short~ ening yourdays? 'It's quite possible that 1 may be shortening my days but then look how I lengthen my nights' was the reply. Gen. G. Faxton of the Pabucha Kentuck- ian, comes out on & card accepting the call from ¢ many voters' to become a candidate for coroner. He says that ¢ an experience of several years within the precints of Ciro render me an excellent judge of dead men.' An Augusta stone cutter has finished a head stone on which is carved : Stranger, pause and shed a tear, For I was very beaatiful ; But sickness came ; I had to die: And have gone to play with the angels. Young men are 80 scarce in Memphis that one is considered enough to take care of fourteen girls at a pic-nic. A New York book-keeper elevates a two hundred pound dumb bell, and yet occasion- ally finds it difficult to raise the wind. A Buffalo father has persuaded his bad boy to stay in o' nights. The chain cost him $4.80 and the padlook 75 cents. The man who shoots a dozen cats this month will stand high in the esteem of his atte da Turon on a boat he started to walk down on a railroad track, and had nearly completed the journey. when the adventure befel him. Ile laid by during the heat of the day, Wed- nesday, and was walking in the even- ing to make it up- the tracks where leads down alongside the main track "his foot caught fast in a "frog," and his efforts to extricate 1t- were of noavail He had on a stont boot, and it fitted so closely over the instep that he could rot draw his foot out. ~ Infact the boot was wedged in the frog so While crossing a switch closely that the man's toes were se- verely pinched. He pulled this way way ard that, swrenched and twisted but the 'frog' held the foot like a vice. At length he could hardly his leg for the pain, aud he that he must either be run over by the next passing train or make ome one understand his situation. Ile shouted himself hoarse but no one came. halt amile away and if the farmer heard the wild calls for help he gave them no attention. After the man had been a prisoner for upwards of an hour he heard the whistle of a down frieght train. 'It was yet a lob way off, and he had a little time to think. He had a match-box in his pocket, papers in his bundle, and the iden came to him to signal the train. Tearing the paper oft his bundle and getting at a number of letters, he rolled them into a heap and for fear the'flame would die oul too sudden he added two flannel shirts from the bundle The bundle was then made fast to the end of his walking stick matches produced and he waited un" til the head light of the locomotive should appear up the track. 1t finally greeted his vision, look- ing like a bright white star, as it glistencd afar up the track, The rumble of the train grew louder, the star grow larger and brighter. He struck his match. The flame blazed up brightly, but as he moved it to- ward the bundld a litue gust of wind blew it out, Was there time yet? Up the track he could hear the thun- der of a hundred heavy wheels, and The nearest house was glared at him like the fiery eye of some wild beast. *Another match; countrymen. | an instant of tear and doubt, and | the great light of the locomotive |: At fire in a large city, while the upper stories of u lofty dwelling were wrapped in smoke and the lower stories all aglow with flame a piercing shriek told the startled firemen that there was someone still in the building iv peril. A ladder was quickly reared until it touched the heated walls, and diving through the flames and smoke a brave young fireman rushed up the rounds on his errand of mercy.-- Stifled by the smoke he stopped, and seemed about to descend. The crowd was in agony as a life seemed lost, for every moment of hesitation seemed an age. While this shiver-- ing fear seized every beholder man from the crowd cried out 'Cheer him ! cheer him!' and a wild htirah burst from the excited spectators.-- As choer after hed the fireman he started upward through the curling smoke and in a few cheer red moments was seen coming down the ladder with a child in his arms.-- That cheer did the work. How much can we do to heip the brave ones who ave struggling with tempt- ation, or almost fainting in their efforts to do goad to others. Don't find¥ault with your brother in hus. trial ; but cheer him, Give him a word that shall urge him on the way and if you can't help him in any other way give him a cheer. ere Stam A man in in Haverhill, N. H., who had recently buried his wife, on fearing of the sudden death of his neighbor's Jietter half, went over to his house to console him. After he beheld the lifeless remains of the lady he remarked ; 'Wal, we lave both lost our women, and all we hev gut to do is to find two more.' 4 -- Er An Arkansus lawyer shot and killed his profess antagonist in the court room. The Judge got mad, and remarked that it that sort of thing was repeated Le'd commit somebody for contempt of court. ee tem mn The article chiefly sold at most fancy fairs--The visitor. What trade is it whose work are trampled under foot ?--A shoemaker's. The police in Reading, TIL. keep a list of the ladies who flirt in public. A disgusted Wisconain fisherman offers a chromo to every fish which will bite the bate. A sensative girl has broken the cause he said she had a foot like o A Wisconsin minister was dismissed trom an orthodox pulpit because he built a fire under a balky Lorse. ¢ Hé has left a void that cannot easily be filled.' of the bank director touchingly re= marked of the absconding caskicr. Green Bay bas decided that a widower ought to mourn at least three weeks before shying around for a second wife. Mr, Whisky fil itto a Wigonsin pond and was drowned, He thought a little water would improve him but it didn't. A Cuban Dollar is now worth only thirteen cents, put they keep on calling it a dollar just for the fun of the thing. "The Peoria woman who wanted to throw herself into her husband's grave a few months ago, has just married a lightning-rod man : + For a young womay to begin to pick lint off a young man's coat collar' is said to be the first symptom that the young man is in peril. A Kentucky farmer says that three good bull-dogs roaming the yard uights will do more to keep bh man honest than all the talking in the world. oe Henry Ward Beecher said that if any col- lege should put two D's after his name, ho should feel inclined to put a dash between them and send them back, A Kansas boy earned a nice Bible by com- mitting gree hundred verses to memory and then he traded his Bible for a and accidentally shot bis aunt in the leg. A new style of boy's trowsers hus been in-- vented in Boston with a copper seat, sheet iron knees, riveted down in the seams and only thirty feet more to go to crush =