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BS AND GENERAL ADVERTISER = ~ _. n-- - ya---- . oi - oy ¥ VOL. XVI, NO. 36. PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, SEPT. 3, 1874. : WHOLE NO. 866 TET RTA RE Tp QT | ORT PERRY HOUSE, = S-- -- me ------ oe re---- ------------ eee . Worth Ontario Observer. HENRY GRIS T, P ors reRis. 8 LAZY PETER. think about his coal and the orders Columbia, but is too near Brooklyn; . Wiakey PATENT SOLICITOR AND DRAUGHTSMAN, JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. THE This affair happened in Bos of his;wife. too near Brooklin.. ws . OTTAWA, CANADA, Thowhove House 4 aow mot condict. There is room in B----for a much | He still had money enough tobuy | A young Woman from Trenton, bil POLITIOAL, AGRICULTURAL, Traasucts business with the Paient Ofics ably Jorsished, and 4 Sousa as ured Ei if larger thing to happen, but the re- 3 Anais ors ou, gai be was about | who was sleeping with ber fect hang- 4% ae "Trade Stab] -- ital of this will fill 1 epart for a coal yard. ing out of the chamber window, was FAMILY NeWspapen, RHI S000 piston 2 oe dem Belly ad gd Gui es A ed track by lightning and shot torn Ww 18 FOBLISERD AT PORT PERRY, = EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BAIRD & PARSONS. TERMS. --$1 per annum, if paid in ad- vance ; if not $1.50 will be charged. No - subscriptiofl taken for less than six months ; and no paper discontinued 'until all arrears are paid, : RATES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insertion .. ..$0 08 Siibséquunt isertions, per line 0 02 Cards, under 6 lines, per annum 5 00 B&F Letters containing money, when ad- dressed to this Office, pre paid and regester- ed, will be at our risk, Advertisments measured by Nonpareil, 20d charged according to the space they ac- cupy. : fhdvertiem sats received for publication. without specific instructons, willbe inserted antil fordid and charged aiccodingly. No advertisment will be taken out until paid for A liberal di lowed to M and others who advertise by the year or hhlfZyear, BX" These - terms will in all cases be strictly adhered to, Job Department. Phamplets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, -Business Cards, Ball Cards, &ec., of every style and color, exceuted promptly and At lower rates than any other establishment in the County. BEF Parties from a distance getting hand Lills, &¢. printed can have them done to take me with them, J. BAIRD. H. PARSONS, we NES & MALLORY, Physicians, RS. JONE Surgeans and Accoucheurs, Port Perry. . AMfice, over Allison's Drug Store, Quecn-st. ®. JONES, M. N., CORONER, A. E. MALLORY, County Ontario. M.D. CM, 3 R BRATHWAITE, Port Perry. R. WARE, Coronor for the County of. Untario, Physician, Surgeon and Ac- "coucheur, i Prinee Albert. WwW PRILP, + Phys Newburg, Ont." M. D,, late of nr; © \ecoucheur, ILL & RAF, nrgeons, , Ulee and King st., Oshawa, S MAK, M.D, W fiat Oy HL Li, +B. MARTIN, M. D. Simcoe St., Twodoors . North of the Central Hotel, Oshawa. ELL, LL. _ Solicitor, eupicd by S. YMAN L. Chancery, uflice--3imeoe street, opposite the Post Office. SMITH, LL. B., Barrister, At- s r aw, Solicitor in Chancery, and Insolvency, Notary Public, &e. ) Otlice--MecMiilan's Block, Brock strect, Whitby. {flected in Ci 4 prompt remittailces 'made. Specifications, and other Documents neces: sary to secure Patents of Invention, prepared on receipt of the model of the 'Auctioneers. W. M. WILLCOX, rs A LICENSED ry 3 AUCTIONEER, FOR THE COUNTY OF ONTARIO. AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARIPOSA & CARTWRIGHT, EGS to thank his many friends and the "public generally, for the liberal patron- age bestowed upon him for the past five years. Having now given up the business of whole time to the bustnéss of Auctioneer, Collecting, &c. tran careful i b give full satisfaction to all who may fayor me with their Sales or Collecting. , Bi'ls draughted and Blank Notes furnished free of charge. is ae Also Bil] Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can be made for sales &c., at the Opseryer Office, and at the Standard Office, Port Perry. W. M. WILLCOX, Prince Albert, Oct. 25, 1873 | CROTH:HS & WILSON Licensed Ai the County | BE prepared to conduct Sales anywhere A in the County. Parties placing their Sales in our hands | may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. G. Crothers is also Agent for all kinds of Agricultural Implements. All orders addressed to G. Crothers, Epsom | P. 0,, will receive prompt attention. Wm. Gordons, i| Licensed Aucticneer, Valuator, &e. t JJOR the Township of Brock) Uxbridge, K Scott, Thorah; Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, 3 p@5™ Parties entrusting their Sales to me | may rely on the utmost attention being given | to their interests, WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. PHOS. H- WAISHE ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township 4 of Brock, Thorih, Mara' & Rama in North Ontario ; Mariposa, ete, in the County of Victoria. Resi --Canningt Brock. Orders left at this office, i dy will be punctnally attended to. ngton, or otherwise, and Remember-- WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- ecr. IST OF DIVISION COURTS 4 FOR THE FOR THE YEAR 1874. Al ttorney at Law, and Solicitor in Chancery: Office in the Royal Arcade, Port Perry. , Attorney at Law, Solieltor Jonveynac acer, &e.--Land re in Parish's Block, Uxbridge. OHN BILLINGS, Baris ¢J Taw, Solicitor in Chancery, Notar; Conveyancer, &c. Uffice over Ross' Store, Port Perry. Attorney at otary Pubiie, W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan- cery Notary Public, &c., &c. Office hours punctually from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Money to Loan at 8 per cent, on all kinds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. OC. N. VARS, L. D. 8S. . serted on all the latest princi- 4 enrht Sehr fo as cheap 'as the cheap- est, and as good as the best. Teeth filled with 'Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted without. pain. by "producing local anwsth- esia, Dentical Roos--in Cowan's new block, >'over Atkinson's Drug Store, King Sith, Bown." © JOHN 8. M. WILLOOX, F the'Town of Whitby, has beei ap- OFFICIAL ASSIGNEE county of Ontario. Any business i his charge will be carefully at- , tended to. | Clerk hird Divi a higeiow's Bloek, Perry. IE Office hours from 10 a. m, to §'p. m. 3 ree CHAS. THORN, V8, MBER of the Veterinary Institute, er, Tl. Gold Medagist for the best examination on Horse Practice. Author of a First Prize Essay on Shocing, Gradu- ated Sept. 16, 1867, . r. Thora to announce that he has -- up his a at Port Perry, and is now pi to great all cases entrusted to his care inthe most skillful and scientific manner, All orders left at the Medical Hall of Mr Allison, will receive prompt attention. The Veteritiary Stables may be found Lilly strect, opposite Cossitt's Factory. J {PorjPerry, Oct. 28, 1875. TV V. THO! Port Perry, march 10, 1874. 218iz]u le lull [5] 22 |B | 8iRRin2e 32|21E12|215218 3 . BEEEEElFE RE CREE EEERE Whithy.........| zt2iai 1 177] 20a] 1071 Br ugh hal is |2 32 1 3, Port Perry 10 | 6f2) i | ole b hans nm 7.21 {610] {1018 Y | Cannitigeon...0| 12) | 8x] 7lua| jupr 4 Beaverton... [| | | of aa] "| at fig Mara, T, Hall ..! *1 [10] [25 l15 hs Z. BURNHAM, " Jubce. | Geo. H. DarTneLL, Junior Judge. | Whithy, Jan. 1, 1874. John Mec Donald, RARBLE DEALER! NEWCASTLE, ONT. ONUMENTS, Tomb-Tables, ,Head- | Stories of great variety, with every de- | scription of Marble Work, suitable for Ccm- eteries, pplied at short notice. Also Peterhead and Aberdeen Granite, | B&F" Parties will find it to their advan. by 'AGENT. | Satisfaction guaranteed, and all work war- ranted, January 10, 1872. 3-yr MONEY! MONEY! MORE MONEY! -- .The Subscriber would inform all in want of Money that he is prepared fo negotiate Loans with the Trustand Loan Society of Toronto, for any amount of inchey from Sener $400 AND UPWARDS, On Mortgage Security on Town or Farm Property. Thé interest is only 8 per cent. No Commission charged, and Loans pro- cured without delay. s 'JOHN TAYLOR. 4 Manchester, Nov. 13, 1873. HOTEL FOR SALE. he ed--in consequence of fail- Inorsignea desirous of retiring from he Hotel Business and offers ron? + A FOR SALE! His Hotel at Port Perry known as the "Port Perry House." - The Hotel and 'premises are large, con- venient and in capital order." This hotel occupies the best business loca tion in town and is doing a large and in- creasing business. For particulars apply to the proprietor on the premises, 7 MPSON, Proprietor Ge HOTEL, Bailiff, I intend, 'in future, to devote my | It will be my endeavor, by prompt and | to pusiness, | tow rods west of the Post Office, | A NGLO-AMERICAN HOTEL, | to. "and will spare neither labor nor expénse in Cigars. Gounty of Ontario, Ts [- 3. C. WILLIAMSON, I + | sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. PEs DOMINION HOTEL, At the Railway Station, PORT PERRY. Every attention given to the accommoda- tion and comfort of guests, The table and bar supplied with the best the Market af fords. Choice Liquors and the best brands of Cigars. Excellent stable and shed ac- commodation, and attentive ostlers, * D. B. DENISON, Proprietor. PORT PERRY. JAMES DEWART, - PROPRIETOR." The Subscriber having leased this excel- lent Hotel and fitted it up with a view to | the comfort of guests and the accommoda- tion of the general public, will Ye glad to welcome old friends and new to take part in the hospitality of the Queen's. The Table carefully supplied, Choice ! Liquors and Cigars in the Bar, the Yard and i Stables punctually attended to. The Queen's is conveniently situated a : JAMES DEWART. Port Perry, Nov. 11, 1873. A PRINCE ALBERT, ONT. Br EZRA BATES, The comfort of guests carefully attended The Table and Bar well supplied. Choice Liquors and the best brands of Cigars, Good Stabling and attentive Ostlers. EZRA BATES, Anglo-American Hotel, Proprietor. July 15, 1874. REVERE HOUSE, MANCHESTER, A. TENNYSON, Proprictor. The Revere House is decidedf, 'one of the best and most comfortable coulitty Hotels in the Province and is situated in a most con- venlent position for the traveling pubiic.-- Stages to aud from Uxbridge, Utica ang Ep- som, call here daily. The Subscriber, since becoming proprietor, has: had the premises thoroughly repaired making the Rev transient home for freshment of guest: . The table and bar supplied with the best he market supplies Good stables and louse a comfortable elers, and for the re- itive ostlers, SUN, Proprietor. Manchester. Aug. 5, T NION HOTEL, ' MANCHESTER. © JAMES T. HUARD, Proprietor. Gaod accommodations. Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. JUST R A large St SPADES--L CALL AND Port Perry, July 7, 1874. Harves HOES-- l'urbip and Field. FQi{KS--Hay and Manure. CIRCULAR SAW HAS ECEIVED! A very large Stock of the following Goods for House Furnishing, 4000 Ibs of my own Brand White Lead. 20 Barrels of English Boiled and Raw Linseed Oil. A large Stock of Locks, Bufts, and Screws. ock of all kinds of Tools. SCY'l HEs--C rudle and Grass. qnz and Short Handle. SHOVELS -- Long and short handle. Sleklonag Wael Jaosnaanols)y: Put up n the latest style and very Cheap. SEE MY STOCK. W. T. PARRISH. ORT WHITBY PORT PERRY & TENSION RAILWAY. TIME TABLE No. 8. Takes effect on Wednesday, the 22, April, 1874, Z2~Trains run on Toronto Time, TRAINS GOING NORTH. Whitby Junction .. Whit! 3 ster . Prinee Albert. Port Perry. The bar supplied with the best Liquors and | DO! Manchester, July 15, 1874 Ine E HOTLL, GREENBANK. R. McRAE, PROPRIETOR. The above hotel Lius undergone a thorough renovation, and has been fitted up with view to the comfort and convenience of the | traveling public. Suict attention paid to the table aud the bar. Comfortable stables and an attentive ostler, Greenbank, March 25, 1871. PArE HOUSE, UTICA. Good Stabling. in 30 |S 25 hy Junetion.. Arrive 7.30 onnecting at Whitby Junetion with th . East and West; at Port Perry with Aer: enelon Falls and Bobeaygeon. JAMES HOLDEN, ERT J. DAFOE, PROPRIETOR. Good accommodasions. Careful attention | to the requirements of travelers and guests. e bar supplied with the best wines, liquors cigars. Good stabling. A BION HOTEL, WRITBY. A. MASON, -- PROPRIETOR. This Hotel has undergone a thorough re- | novation and been fitted. up with a view ay the comfort and convenience of the traveling | public. Every attention paid to the tale and bar, while obliging and attentive Ostlers will have charge of the stables. . Whitby, June 20, 1870. NOW FOR FIRST CLASS | | LIVERY RIGS. W. H. PARK, Jr, | HA fitted up a Livery Stable opposite ! the Post Office, Port Perry, where first | moderate terms. W. H. PARK, Jr., Proprietor. Port Perry, Jan. 22, 1874. WESTERN ASSURANCE COME'Y TORONTO. Incorporated. ........... .....1851. Capital - $400.000. Hon. John McMurrich. Hatdan, Ea: JAMES PRINGLE, Genétal Agent. THE ONTARIO FARMER: Mutual Insurance Company. This Company is now fully organized and is p oo aE risks on Farm Buildings and their contents, tountry School Houses and Churches. Those wishing to insure and thereby support a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either by applying to the Head Office, or to any of the local Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respon- Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel, OC. MKENZIE, PROPRIETOR | ji Subscriber having now fully equipped his new and extensive Livery Stables prepared to furnish first class LIVERY RICS On Moderate Terms. Port Perry, Aug. 6, 1873. QENYINI AS IMPORTED! HENRY CHARLES H*® Received a further supply of TENNANT in Stone Jars. | HENNESSY'S JULE ROBIN & Co., and OTARD'S BRANDY. KENTE'S HOLLAND and OLD TOM. PORT and SHERRY WINE, ' ALSo tage to withhold their orders until called on class Livery Rigs can always be had on | ALD. WELLS' TORONTO ALE. WALKERS Extra MALT and RYE. wm 51a general assortment of Teas, Sugars &o.,&oc Codfish, Can'd Fruits, Fish, Port Perry, Sept 8, 1873. ' FIRST CLASS TAILORING. a class Tailoring in gll its depart-- ments, which is 22 minutes slower than Grand Trunk Time. atform Stations--Traifs stop on signals 8, Ugemanh and Victoria, for Lindsay, Managing Director PORT PERRY LIVERY STABLES, apply of superior Horses and Carriages, is C. MCKENZIE. - 34 'S XXX PORTER AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS ! REPAIRS AT FBV RIBLY BN Ww ITH a view to better accommodating 708 the Farmers of North Ontario, Mari- 25 | posa and Cartwright, and to further mect the rapidly increasing demand for the 5 | Johmton Self-Raking Reaper, Cayuga Chief Mower, ? Plows, ! EX- Fauning Mills, &e. Fy As manufactured by Brown & Patterson, of 2.39 | the the Whitby Agricultural Works, and all jz ts REPAIRS for these Implements, Zo "AN AGENCY 8.66 |, 490 Has been opened by Brown & Latterson mm 3 r AT PORT PERRY, For the regular supply of all the above at the same prices as they are sold at the Works. All Repairs for the Johnston Reaper, Cayuga Chief Mower, Plow Points, Jou Sides, and all other repairs kept con- mtly on hand. he GG, the WM. JOHNSTON, AGENT. Ben. Remember the place, East of Thomp- son's Hotel, Port Perry, Having established the above Agency, so as to be fully represented in North Ontario, Wo have lately appointed Ed, Walker, of Utica, as our Agent, who, with our present Agent, H. 8. Johnston, of Port Perry, will call upon you, soliciting your orders for the coming season. BROWN & PATTERSON. Oct. 1, 1873. with 4 MONEY TO LOAN | MORTCACES WANTED. HE Subscribers have large sums of mon- ey placed in thebr hands fir investment on mproved Farms, Village Pi and other Securities in'this and adjoining Counties at the lowest current rates of interest. As we have fubds on hand at all times Borrowers candep nd on getting their money with the east possible delay. WANTED TO PURBHASE, Any number of Mortgages for which the high- ! est figures will be allowed. | ureaiso appraisers for tha Canada Per- manent Building Society, the cheapest and largest Monetary Institution in Canada. Paid up Capital $1,500,000 Instalments re-payable in from 2 to 20) years. Lands Bought and Sold. Several good farms for sale. J Agents for several first class Fire In- surance Com panies. i Dollections aly and a general agency buat, | 2 DEBENTURES BoUGHT.-mx JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, General Agents, Omce in Mr, Ross' Ontario Bulldings, Port Perry. Port Perry, Oct. 11, 1872, MOREY T0 LAND! Toperties, AT HUGOE'S, PRINCE ALBERT, Work made up on the shortest notice in the latest styles and at moderate rates, A good fit guaranteed. sriaent Remember the place, opposite Cook's Hotel. The undersigned has any amount of Money to lend upén Farm and Town Property, at Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any manner to suit borrowe; the Tr. R. HUGOE. Also several I od Fi w Prince Albert, April 2, 1874. 15 | Laan or aa Ampeoved Paras, and Wild y 5 2 Tn made in Municipal Del tures, Bank and other mar) le Stocks. LUGGAGE ve : os JAMES HOLDEN, TAKEN T0 AND FROM THE STATION iy EE AND AROUND TOWN. Assig guee, hy &O + -- Orrics--Over the Dominion Bank, McMil- The Subscriber is prepared to convey | ans Block, Brock st., Whitby. Chests, Trunks, Boxesand every other dé- | V hitby, April 10, 1873. scription of L toor froni'the Rail 2 Station or anywhere around town. MONEY Orders promptly attended to. Charges moderate, x [Private Funds,) | those two | make such fellows as they .| tented with the world. space. And point out a moral. In the town of B----resides Peter Quirk. Peter is a regular Rip Van Winkle leaving out the twenty years' dose, and his wife Mary is quite a good representation of Gretcham Rips better half. And Mary or Molly, as every- body called her, was the better half. She owned the house they lived in, and by her thrift in the letting a portion of it and doing some wash- ing she managed to keep. herself and Peter, for Peter would never do anything beyond dressing himself as well as he could and walking about the streets. His general haunts were the pub lic houses in the neigborhood, al: though Molly would never allow him much money to squander at those places, he had a circle of acquain- tances who thought erough of his jovail society to treat him quite often enough to send him home mellow every night to receive curtain lect tures. Inshort he was a lazy, shiftloss fellow and an acknowledged loater although he dressed well and held his headshigh in the community. A few days since Molly took him in hand and not only gave him a good tongue-thrashing but a scratch under one of the eyes, and four par- alled scratches on his forehead show- ed that her anger took even a more belligerent turn. This was pothing new to him, al- though he generally behaved him- self for a week or so afterwards very much better and avoided his bad companions. Then Molly would relent, take hope, soften her heart and believe that he would become better man. In particular she showed more weakness than in any 'other of her nature. . A day or two after his last correc- tion, and while he was still on his | good behavior' she gave him the money to buy a ton of coal, telling him to see that it was delivered, and brought into the celler, all of which he promised to do just as diverected. | But Peter was weak in spite ot his late experience. He met one of his cronies, who asked him where be was going, and and on being told, laughingly re- monstrated. "Why a ton ot coal is more than you can burn tkis winter: Let's have a good time with halt the mouey, and buy only halt a ton.-- Besides Molly will never knowg but that it i$ whole ton. There was JY omothing seductive ab- out this preposition, especially when he had th& money in his pocket and felt ho Molly would not know a this the dif@¥encg: -- gh So h§ took theremice of hiy creny and bought beer and had what they called a good time. Then anotlidr of his acquaintances happened to come into the public house where "he "sat enjoying him. self, and soon became acquainted with the partiedlars.' ¢ And do you suppose; Peter that you can burn balf a ton of coal this winter? Why I never use' ore than quarter of a toh ; besides it"is getting late and it will not-be taken to your door until after dark] snd Molly won't know how much there is. Let us drink and be merry for to-morrow we may die.' 'Yes and then we shall not need coal,' said the other struggling to make a grim joke telling. Peter was now in a condition very much like to clay in the hands of the potter, and again yielded. He knew he was doing wrong; but afew more mugs of beer made him think better of it, and while the excitement was at its height, he be- gan to argue on the recklessness of ben- | buying so much as a quarter of a ton of coal.' ¢ That is so, Pete,' replied his se- ducers, 'it is a great waste of money, when good beea is only two- pence a glass. Let us bo happy.' And they tried to be. ' Perhaps: they were ;%at all events who were drinking at Peter's Tin were happy. Such conditions are pretty sure to ey feel con- T.me flew on before they were aware of it, and darkness had settled upon the earth and gas lights were doing duty in every direction. When this fact worked its way in- to Peter's fuddled mind he began to ¢ Nonsense,' it is too late now.-- The yards are all shut up, and yon wont getitnow. Sitdown ant enjoy yourself. There is nothing pressing about having coal delivered today is there ? It thereis, why you can call at the coal shed and have a bush ol sent t0 the house. See ? Yes; Jute suw--ghat is to say, Be saw a8 I To toa het fumes of 'beer ; and glad to have somebody propose an excuse where he could find none himself, he sat down in his chair again and spent all the money except enough to buy a bushel of coal. Quite late in the evening he left his companions and started for home, He had some difficulty in navigat- ing and in convincing a policeman that he should not be taken to the lock up. : But he finally reached the conl shed and purchased his bushel of coal, which one of the boys carried over to his house. Molly had been waiting and con- sidering the length of time he had been absent, she was disappointed in secing a bushel of coal brought home. : But she held her peace until the boy had placed it in the cellar, and Peter had found his way into her presence. % Then she put some sarcasm into ber remarks about thé smullness of the ton'of coal, and Peter bristled up and said there was coal enongh, and that he would not countenance such prodigality in his household, that his income would not admit of! it, ete. Then it was Molly's turn. She was washing a pair of woolen drawers and she spoke to him with them. struck by li htning and almost torn topieces, The other Trenton women have taken their feet in. : The Zionsville girls don't spend " all their time trying to climb the' holy hill of Zion," for on their way home from Pic-nics they attack dé- fenceless 'oung men and, kiss 'them by maf fores, . } The boy who, when asked to what trade he would wish to be brought up; replied, "I will be a trustee, be- cause ever since papa has been a trustee we have had puddings for dinner,' was a wise child in his gen- eration. A Pennsylvania boy got so home- sick that he walked seventy-eight miles, without eating, in order to sit down once more at the family hearth stone. He was received with such' warmth by his mule parent that it w3s several days before he could sit down anywhere. The Milwaukee Seatinel is author- ity for the statement that the grass- hoppers on their way south stopped a railroad train and got copies of St. Pauls papers. When they read that only a small portion of the crops had been destroyed they started back to finish up the job. A rustic couple newly married, marched into a drug store, and called for soda-water. The obliging clerk inquired what syrup they would have in it, when the swain deliber-- ately leaning over the counter, re- plied, stranger, money is no object to me ; put sugar in it.' i After the prosecuting attorney had heaped vituperation upon the poor prisoner without counsel, the judge asked him if he had anything to say for himself. " Your honor," replied the prisoner, " [ ask for a postpone~ ment for 18 days, in order that I may IIe sat down suddenly on the broad | of his batk to listen to her argument | in the opposite direction from what | he had just been arguing. 4 Then she threw some ashes over his head and hammered his face with | a cabbage stump, and worried the i top end of his spinal column with the | leg of a washboard. She never asked him if he would ! do so again, for she knew he would | if be got a chance, but she argued | with him in this manner until he was | a thoroughly sobered man, after which she made him sleep in the cellar with that bushel of coal. Peter wasn't seen for a week, and when he did finally get out, and his friends asked him about the. various | stripes of court plaster with which | his face was adorned, he said he had | attempted to shoo a mule. But those who knew say that Molly gave him such a thorough warming that, in all probability that bushel of coal will be all he will require this winter. The fool secketh to pik a fly from a mules hind leg. The wise man letteth out the job to the lowest bid- der. g Memphis husbands punish their wives by making them sit on chunks of ice while they knit the heel of a stocking. ¢Can't they train Chinamen to eat grasshoppers ?' is the conundrum propounded by interested parties in the' West. a "1 wouldn't have left but the peo ple kinder egged me on,' said a man who was asked why he quit his Kan. sas home in a hurry. The Milwaukee man who tied his dog to a wagon wheel to learn nim to be a coachdog, is disgusted with the whole business. A chap who spent $1.500 to gradu- ate from Harvard is Postmaster in Towa at $24 per year. Where would he have been but for his Latin and Greek ? pt The log cabin which Mr. Lincoln made when sixteen years old, stands in seven different countiss in Illi- nois, and they haven't got through counting yet. Sam, why don't you talk to your master and tell him to lay up tras" ures in Heaven ? 'What's deuse ob him laying up treasures np dar ?-- He never see um again.' It is a beautiful sight to attend an Arizona wedding. The bride in | white---the happy groom-- fhe sol- emn ministér--the smiling parents, and 40 shot guns standing against the wall ready for use, make up a pano- rama not soon forgottcn * My son, now that the boys hare won at Saratoga, and thereby shown the mental superiority of the college find a blackguard to answer that one there.' Prof. Braun is a man whose name is frequenly mentioned in the south- ern newspapers with such personal remarks as the following: «He is an undersized German teacher of languages, distinguished by his un-- familiarity with truth as an abstract principle ; indeed, it may be said that with him truth is more stranger than fiction. ' It was Dove. --Piggy got into a yard where he did not belong, and trying to get out again he stuck fast under a high board fence and {there began to kick and squeal in the good old way. Ilis master a big fat 1rishman, hearing the hub-bub, ran out of the house near by, and cought his pig by the ears, endeav- oring to pull him through the hole before the trespass was detected. -- But this treatment had nd effect Yat to muke the pig yell the more. © An old ram in the yard hearing {ho noise and seeing piggy's hind logs and tail flourishing away in a menge- ing manner accepted what. he thought was a challénge, and lower- ing his head charged with al his might. Ie struck the mark square- ly and farely, and' the pig shot through the hole like a pork eannon ball and striking his master full in the breast knocked him flag -on his back. The only person geho wit- nessed this closing scene was just entering the yard, and not being aware how mayy actors were engag: ed init was very much surpriset to hear what he supposed to be. the 'pig swearing in Irish on the other side ot the tence.' ! A man was abotit to be hanged in Alabama, sang, us he stood with the noore about his neck: "Ob! the bright angels ave waiting for me." Wherenpon the local editor - fiend- ishly wrote, ' And the angles stirred up the fire and looked brighter than | ever." : Two young men ont riding were assing & fa:mhouse where a farmer as trying to harness an obstinate mule. "Won't he draw ?" said one ofthe men. 'Ut course," said the farmer, ' he'll draw the attention of every fool that passes this way." -- The yoling man drove on.. : The Danbury man says: «One English dinner in the ifiexperien American stomaeh will produce tha night, 12 cross-eyed lions ; § bears with ealico tails; 11 giants with illu- minated heails ; 1 awfnl di ith 12 legs, and 14 bow-| chased by a host of pi flowers, mounted en saddies roasted. Any respectable will corroborate this statemen Fas was shrewd a vice of Sleannt ed lawyer to a pupil, © facts ark in your fi id Shea of to you, ¢o on a Tots 200 whom tho law. is. i your favor and the facts o you, come out strong on 'Bat, inquired the a aod oo shall - faculty, I would like to.send you to "aid the Jawyer, © falk | Brock Bt., Whitby J. COOK. [To Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- 5 L. FAIRBANKS, Jr, |Port Perry, Jan. Ist, 1874, terest. ay. 1 : 8 fie ins samegetincs R. RICHARDSON, MONEY! MONEY ! Beappolil Somme ; Marriage Licenses os . arria 0 ONEY TO LOAN at 8 per cet interest g - TOWXausr CLES, 0 I Under the New Act. Office, lot 10, in the | semer of Marriage Licenses--Conveyance A. HURD. con. Brock. Commissioner, &¢. Port Perry, March 12,1874. 12| Brock, Aug. 5,1874. 3 1 Offico--Manchester. . > ° 2 » - ry m mE es