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¥ i J geon and 'Accouch =) tortor fo Asosn mo HENRY GRIST, Por PERRY HOUSE, © bh FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, . EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BAIRD & "PARSONS. 3 & VG 1 d jede i ¥ Fh LS and no paper discontinued until all arrears are paid. - RATES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insertion ........$0 08 Subsequent insertions, per line « 002 Cards, under 6 lines, per annum..... 5 00 BE5™ Letters containing money, when ad- dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- ed, will be at our risk. Advertisments measured by Nonpareil, aud rE a ome Space they ac- is ents Fo od tor § publication. fic ing , will be 'inserted id:and wh iccadingly. No Afb be taken out until paid for. A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half-year. pF These terms will in all cases be strictly adhered to. : Job Department. Phamplets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro-- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, Business ards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and eolor, "exceuted promptly and at lower rates thatt any other establishment i in the County. Ni ies ftom a distaitice getting hand ? pie cafihave them done to take wil pace ner, i H. PARSONS, JONES, M. D,, Coroner, Physician, . Surgeon, &c. Port Perry. Office, over Allison's Drug Store, Queen. st. Residence--One door west of the Presby terian Church. : ede R. WARE, Coronor for the County of Dinar, PHysician, Surgeon and Ac- «=aouch our, Prince Albert. H. BANGSTER, M. D., Physician, Sur- eur, Cononer for the County of Ontario, % PORT PERRY. Office over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of Queen and Perry Street Office hours: from 9 a. m. to 12 m. Reidences the dwelling recently» occupied y Mrs. Geo, Paxton. RS. McGILL & RAE, Physcians, Snrgeons) &c., &e, Office and Residences, King st. Oshawa, AVL MGILT, M.D. FRANCIS RAF, M,D. w I. F. MCBRIEN, M.D, M. THospital, London, Hons ., Guy's 'Fie kyeR. Oshawa, E. MARTIN, M. D. Simcoe St., Two doors Boor of the Central Hotel, Oshawa. E. FAREWE Y iL LL. ttorney. Solicitor, and No supied by 8. H. Coe B., Canty Crown tL 1) Brock street, NGLISH, LL. B., Solicitor in torney, Conveyancer, &c. Oshawa. Omce--Simcoe street, opposite the Post Office. " YouNG suri Lie ny Barrister, At- itor in Ohancery, y e: atl and Insolvency, Notary Public, &e. OfMce--MeMiilan's Block, Brock street, Whitby. A I, Barristers CASEIN & MACON NLL ais Council, Ontario. Offices : "Court House, Whitby. I. J. MACDONNELL. A. HURD, Attorney at Law, and Solicitor in Chancery. Office inthe Royal Arcade,' Port Perry. 36. C, CAMERON, P. W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in han, AR Notary Public, Kc, &C. "Office hours punctually from 9 a.m. to b pm. Money. . to Loan at 8 per cent, on gll geinds of ay security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. 7 O. N. VARS, L. D. 8S. ples of uo a8 cheap Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's Sock over Atkinson's i Store, treet, Oshawa. 1 without pth by producing local eosin. \ Kin CHAS. THORN, V8.ot ME e Veterinary Institute, Som Bice. Bude First Prize Essay on Shoeing. Agim Sept. 16, 1867. T 'Thorn to announce that he as | a up his a at Port Perry, and il' now pre] to treat all cases his'eare in the most ihm a cic) left at the cal pia All riers) ef : al} Port Fr, Oct. 28, 1873, bie) JON 8. M. WILLCOX, Of ts Town of Whitby, has been »- "OFFICIAL ASSIGNEE for of Onta Any business tended "1.3 W.B "mart verry, . OfMee hours from 10s. m. 103 p. m. @ FURNEAMN, Slee of the Third Divi OHN CHRISTLE 1 SP CLERK, fn - | Specifications, aud other Documents neces. I= oF I n Bigelow's "blo, i * PATENT SOLICITOR AND DRAUGHTSMAN, © OTTAWA, CANADA, Transucts business with the Patent Office and other departments of the Government: Copyrights and the Registration of Trade Marks and Designs procured." Drawings, sary to secure Patents of Invention, Topas on receipt of the model of the Ii Auctionecrs. W. M. WILLCOX, "LICENSED AUCTIONEER, FOR THE COUNTY OF ONTARIO. AND TOWNSHIPS OF MARIPOSA & CARTWRIGHT, | Beis to thank his many friends and the - public generally, age bestowed upon him for the past five years, Having now given up the business of Bailiff, I intend, in future, to devote my whole time to the business of Auctionecr, Collecting, &ec. It will be my endeavor, by prompt and careful attention to business, to give full satisfaction to all who may favor me with their; Sales or Collecting. Bi'ls draughted and Blank Notes furnished free of charge. *Also Bill Stamps always on hand. Arrangements can he made for sales &c.,) at the Opserver Office, and at the Standard Office, Port Perry. W. M. WILLCOX, Prince Albert, Oct. 25, 1873. Wm. Gordon, Licensed Auctioneer, Valuator, &e. OR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, a Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, p@y Partics entrusting their Sales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. THOS. H. WALSHE. ICENSED Auctioneer for the 'Fownship 1, of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario; Mariposa, etc., in the County of Victoria, Residence--Cannin, rton, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctually attended to, Debts col | lected in Cannington, er otherwise, and | prompt remittances mado. Remel mber-- | WALSH E, the North Ontario Auction- eer, WHITBY ng STEAM MA? iI WORKS. J. & R. WOLFENDEN, HOLESALE and Retail dealers in Ww Foreign and American Marble Man- ts, &e., Dundas St , Whitby. Also, Agent for the Scottish Granite. Also Building Stone cut to order, z JOHN NOTF, Agent, Port Perry. , 1871. 32 John Mo Donnld, MARBLE DEALER! NEWCASTLE, ONT. ONUMENTS, Tomb-Tables, Head- ) Stones of great variety, with every de- scription of Marble Work, suitable for Cem- eteries, supplied at short notice. Also Peterhead and Aberdeen Granite. fle, ap July for the liberal patron-| cj, - Dror HOUSE, PORT PERRY." Co ¥. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. e above House is now, most comfort the Home Style, . Good Liquors and, Cigars, also, first class Stabling and good Ostlers,-- Additions have been made which makes this the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. Typos DOMINION HOTEL, At the Railway Station, PORT PERRY: Evety attention given to' the accommoda- tion and comfort of guests. The table and bar supplied with the best the Market af fords. Choice Tiquors and the best brands of Cigars. Excellent stable and shed ac- commodation, and attentive ostlers, 'D. B. DENISON, Proprietor. _ . A Nebo AVIRInSY HOTEL, PRINCE ALBERT, ONT. By EZRA BATES, The comfort of guests carefully attended to. The Table and Bar well supplied. Choice Liquors and the best brands of ars, Good Stabling and attentive Ostlers. EZRA BATE: Proprietor, Anglo-American Hotel, July 15, 1874, REVERE HOUSF, MANCHESTER, "A. TENNYSON, The Revere Hoyse is 4 cidedly one of the jy and most comfortable country Hoses 2 the Province and'is avon in a most ec venjent position for the traveling Pile Stages to and from Uxbridge, Utica and Ep- som, call here daily. The Subscriber, singe becoming Droprietar, has had the premises thoroughly repaired and will spare neither labor nor expense in nnking the Revere House a comfortable transient home for travelers, and for the re- freshment of guests, The table and ay supplied with the best the market supp! Good stables an sentry @ ostlers, NNYSON, Se prictan Proprietor, Manchester, AE 5 oo NION HOTEL, MANCHESTER. JAMES T. HEARD, PropRIRTOR. (Good accommgdations. Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. 'Fhe bar supplied with the best Liquors and Cigars. . Good Stabling, Manchester, July 15, 1874. 30 (Jorranh HOTEL, GREENBANK. R. McRAE, PROPRIETOR. The above hotel has undergone a thorough renovation, and has been fitted up with a | view to the comfort and convenience of the | traveling public, Suict attention paid to | the table and the har. Comfortable stables and an attentive ostler, Greenbank, March 25, 1874. UTICA. J, DAFOE, PROPRIETOR. Good accommodaiions. Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. The bar supplied with the best w ines, liquors and af Good stabling, WESTERN ASSURANCE COMP'Y | TORONTO. I, urnished, and Guests are cared for. in | jTHOTOGH ArH Fh ae JOY Wen in his Hoe wn to a SMALL MARGIN ABOVE COST ! I am now ecelying my large importation of Parties Building will do well to give me a call, a new Stock of BORIN G MACHINES, of Superior make, about prices. Port Perry, May 6, 1875. i SAW] Sharpened and Re-set And the Subscriber is determined to CUT all kind of Goods Hardware! Which has be en bought very low, and I am. determined to CUT ALL GOODS VERY FINE. Just received An early call will convince all that there is no deception WwW. F. PARRISH. I never knew a nicer fellow than Smith.-- He was an artist, and everything you could wish for in the man whom you made your friend. J For instance, he was good-looking, but not so good looking that you got jealous of him when you introduced him to the ladics of your acquaintance, He was tall and strong enough to take your part where phy- sical force was necessary, He was well enough off not to want to borrow "money of you, and to lend it when you wanted to bor-- row yourself. And to crown all, he had a | temper of the most suave description imag- inable. If he played whist with you and won, he pocketed she money ; if on the con- trary you won, it did not make the slightest difference to Smith--yon pocketed the mon-- cy, that's all. To use the.language of the bygone professors of the "manly art of self defence," Smith was a man who always came up smiling, and for him life scomed to have no care. It is said to be along lane which has no turning ; and Smith found that there was a turning to his at last, and the quagmire of Misery --into the Slough of Despond. IT must tell you, by the way, that Smith in spite of his good looks, was a bit of a cynic, He sneéred at women and looked upen them as an inferior order of beings-- only suited to make into shirt-makers, the setters on of buttons and washers of gar- ments, It was very objectionable for a man to have such points ; but then we are none of us bofh perfect. 'How a man in his right senses said Smith to me ene day, in confidence, ¢ean go with his eyes wide open and say to a woman ' here my dear' let me be your slave for life, finding you in house room and dres- ses,' gets over me, And the matter doesn't stop there, for no one could possibly supply a woman with all that she Wished for. Then look at her children and the conse- quent expenses there. Even if a man could treat it in this light, namely, that bis income would double on marriage, andgo on doub- ling with every child born upon him, it would be a great undertaking ; but as mat. ters are, oh, my dear boys, Its atroci ious l-- I'll never marry, just look at Je nnings,' ¢ Not here,' I said, ¢ to look at.' 'No, dear bay," he said suavely ; 'but look at his 'position, nentally--twelve children, twins three times, which makes a sextent 1-- Try another of these cigars, old fellow. I MONEY T0 LOAN MORTCACES WANTED. FHT Subgeribers have large su ey placed In their hands for Improved Farms, Village Pr other Se ties in this and adjo at the 1g stent ries, t eurrent rates of interest, east possible delay. co PHOTOGRAPHS | WANTED T0 PURCHASE, FOR ALL, oven aT |ICTURES M'KENZIE & SCOTT'S GALLERIES! Oy posite Walker Hous» PortPerry. vis i tha C: , the eh Tnnthtion in Cur a Instalments ns apital § n from 2 to= Lands Roaght and Sold. Several good farms for sale, 7 gents for several first class Fire surance Com panies. Collections made ness transacted. 20D ITH the view ofsupplyivg the great demand for their much admired Photographs, the Subscribers have --regard- less of expense--so fitted up their Galleries and introduced such Instruments as will at all times secure PERFECT PICTURES, Their thorough knowledge of partment of the Art, acquired in some of the best Galleries on this continent, together with their excellentGalleri and supe rior in- struments, give them facilities enjoyed hy TURES BOUGHT. "GS General Agents, Office in Mr, Ross' Ontario Buildings, Beorportedss.., treneerenes erieennd 1851, Capital - © $400.000.! President. Hon. John MeMurrich, Vice-President. «eve Us Magrath, Esq. Secretary . Bernard Haldan, Esq. JAMD@PRINGLE, General Agent. | Parties will find it to their advan. | tsge to withhold their orders until called on b, ¥ J. C. WILLIAMSON, GENT. Satisfaction guaranteed, and all work war- ranted. Jannary 10, 1872. 3-yr R. RICHARDSON, Re-appointed Issuer of 1st con. Brock. Brock, Avg. 5,1874. wd 3 roa tps ta Slo FOR 7 Marriag ge Aiicenses L {ides thé Rew act. * Office, lot 10, in the } | rooms, corner, Queen and Perry Streets. s Port Perry, Nov. 18, 11874, i New Mariage Act. : " nrg Te | Toe nod Re nt coos | [County of, Ontario, 2 dope vi will be carefully at: f+. reid THE ONTARIO FARMERS | 'Mutual Insurance Company. ! This Company is now fully organized and is prepared to accept risks en Farm Buildings and their contents, country School Houses 'and Churches, T hose wishing to insure and thereby support a Home Insurance Campany , have now an opportunity of doing so, either | hy applying to the Head Office, or to any of | ithe local Agents of the Company. Our rates | will be found as low as those of any respon- sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel, Brock St., Whithy . L, FAIRBANKS, Jr. Seerctaty! MRS. L. M. COOK, ADIES' HAIR DRESSER,' Switches, Braids, Frizzets, Gis, and Combe ings, and aif Jewelry' Manufactured, Rooms, over Mr. Nott's Fumiture Wait 47 WANTED 1 0 PURCHASE, Promissory : Notes, both . over dve and. yet to: Bossate. acs {Noveniber; 21, 2866. } 1 siodw 4 | visit our Galleries and inspect our Stock. BUY. YOUR 2 Dry Goods, dg 3h few for producing those beautiful Photo- | graphs admired by all who sce them, By skiltully retouching the negatives the most handsome photographs are produced in every instance, Their Galleries are stocked with a choice assortment of First Class Albums, Picture Frames, Stereoscopic Instruments, the Finest mos, and specimen Photographs in end. ess variety. A cordial welcome is extended to all to to lend upon Farm and Town Property, the borrower. McKENZIE & SC! Port Perry, Dec. 10, 1873. OTT. 51 | Lands for sale, cheap, tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks, Apply to PRT PERRY LIVERY. STABLES, JAMES HOLDEN a i \ i: C. MK EN i I Is, on Jk st, Whithy. PROPRIETOR Whitby, April 10, 1873. N THE COUNTY COUNTY OF ONTARIO, CANADA. Province of Ontario. In the Matter of JAMES BOGART LAZIER, HE Subseriber having now fully equipped T his new and extensive Livery Stables with a supply of superior Horses and. Carriages, 1s prepared to furnish firs, class LIVERY RIGS On Moderate Terms. C. MCKENZIE. |} | A Port, Perry, Aug. ¢ 1873. 34 the Undersigned will apply by Petition Z Burnham, Esquire. * 1 discharge under the Act. Port Perry, 23rd March, A, D. 1875, JAMES BOGART LAZIER, " TO. THR INHABITANTS, OF "NORTHERN REACH (TE Yds and Confectior all their branches carrie |THE PLACE TO : rad Orders filled with the shortest notice. Bridal and other Cakes made to order, ee 3 on moderate terms. 4 * 1 CONF ECTIONS! Aan inevery variety and of the best quality. 4 Children's 'Toys in abundance. Groceries, i 3 3 clone, Ey ope and 'Shaes,| ao don | Port Perry or Prince Albert. "Port Perry, March 10, 1875. M edicines, & 25 ACRES of Lot 17, 17, in ; 'sion of the Towpsuil of. between Prince All Also, 8 acres in oiming R. Lund's property. reenban; uly x, Jota: 31 {od aed n the village of Prince Albert, For iculars, apply to particulars, op eb R HURD, Whitby, Jan. 1, 1875; ave = al IL, , by Ee Nor! Sa i 32h a asdom ad Dare NE " $s of mon- and ng Counties As we have funds on hand at all times Borrowers candep nd on getting their money with the Aur mbar of Sangages for which the high- igures wi 10 In- and a general ageney busi- JOHN & DAVID J, ADAMS, Port Perry. The undersigned has any amountof ones Unusually Low Rates of. Interest! Loars can be repaid in any manner to suit Also several Improved Farms, and Wild Investments made in Municipal Deben- Official Assignee, Broker, &e, Orrice--Over the Dominion Bank, Soil | re COURT OF THE } Insolvent Act of 1869. An Insolvent. On Tuesday, the Fourth day of May next, Judge of the County Court of the County of Ontario, for a \ aS 3 7 2) By P. A HURD, his Attorney. mE Lb BAKERY! \Confectionery. business oy in my and Prince Albert establishments, Ph 'and Fancy Breads of Every variety. Socials and other entertainments supplied - \CALL AT MY BAKERY CHAS. HISCOCKS, Valuable Real Estate for Sal: ! e 5th conces- h, situated | rt and Port Perry, well | suited for Fruit and a ie purposes, the Village of Port Perry | Also, 8 a House with, 1 ofan acre of land AtP. A. Hurd's Law Office, Hi Port Perry would not be Jennings for all the world.' 'Nice little wife, though,' I said. Yes, she really is' said Smith, 'a most amiable little woman ; loves her husband dearly and always has a sweet candid smile for his old frie :¢ her sist Yes,' said Smith, ¢ Ihave seen her, but, atter all, 1 position for a man to he in--tied up an--how he must look with envy at his bachelor acquaintance | \, woman, woman !--as Milton said, 'whe iortal taste first bronght misery into the world, and all our woe." on ! T said if yon must inflict quota- tions on your friends, do it correctly. ¢ That's quite correct. I assure yon,' said Smith. 'Quite incorrect,' T said, Ix it really, thoug) 7h ing his pleasant gray de you know now, I t right 7' ¢ By th 1e answered, open- t that was quite » Jennings give a ou going 7' sid Sneith, ¢ They asked pa ¢ Dear os no, me.' ¢ And you declined 7 «Well, no, I haven't decided only had the letter a week. to.' yet. I've But I mean ¢ Don't decline then; but go.' ¢ Why, my dear feliow, they'l hi children 'out, and cake and or man's buft. It will be a rough and tumble affair, Perhaps ask you to hold the twins. 2 ¢ But you like old Jennin, ¢ Dear old boy, isn't he ? nestly. ¢ Well he will feel aid Smith, ear- slighted if you stop 2 «Think he will 22 'Sure to.' "Then IIL go,' said Smith. 'But I shall be a regular wet blanket on the party.' The night ofthe Jennings party came, and having a weakness for child I meant to go ently ; but, being a medical man, I was called away, and did not reach the place till half past ten, There was a veSular shriek, in the dining | room, mingled with roars of langhter, and knot King together of chairsand cries of 'take care I' as 1 devested myself of top coat and hat and when I edged in 'through the room it was tosce Smith in full evening costume, with two studs gone out of his shirt front, his white tie under his car, and his shirt fro ut al regular rag, his hair all touzled, a big white | bankerchicf tied over his eyes, n young Jen-- at baiting him, as with outstretched arms he groped avout trying to catch somebody to take his place, ¢ Ah, Dobby, glad to sce "you," said Jen- nings coming up open handed. ¢ Oh, Mr. Dobby, how late you are! cried Mrs Jennings. - ¢ Rare game, isn't it?' cried Jennings, mop- ping the perspiration off his head. 10 | very little rogue ; and little Jenny Gray, Mrs evidently in great astomshment : Hallo I" ¢ Caught the wrong one, ch J Lsaid, Didn'nt know yop'd come,' evasively. ] of the children. Smif y cried a twin--twin series, wid another twin--second series, wall,' said another," © £ My dear children you will worry Mr. ning; 1 « Givo mo another ride on your back, Mr. Smith,' cried another ; and as he ders there was a yel like a hurricane--children coat tail, his arms, suffered it all with th out of his face that was most refreshing. ily Separted supper provided for our speeial benefit, Jennings. Tom,' said the prety little lady. ihe sup and sad. 46) out, Mr. Smith.' said Mrs. Jennings. SMITH'S REHEARSAL. | nigs hanging on to cach coat tail, and others | + I declare, it isn't fair,' cried a pretty sil- Jennings' sister, with rosy face, eyes spark- ling, and her sunny hair lying, dashed under my arm, just as a pair of stout oucs were thrown about me, and 1 turned round to gaze full in the face of Smith, who with the hand- kerchief dragged down, exclaimed loudly;and said Smith, «Oh, Mr. Smith's been such fun,' cried one «Do de® frog's hornpipe again, Mitter ow Mihter Doby the pigth in the thty* « No, ho, Mr. Smith, dg make the pocket handkerchiet dance, and the old man'on the Spith feolnimed beaming little Mrs, Jen- Oh, never mind I--I ryther like it,' said ith to | let the little chubb; tyrant on to his' shoul- of delight and a charge Pong on to his] Rareoriing him, and he composIre-- indeed, witha sense oy enjoyment shiniug And Smith sighed and said, ¢ No, not at] An 'oxecntive ee ang IL A scale of good-byevding--B natur Home stretch--the stretch across the ma- ternal knee, putting yout arm Wasting sweetness. about a pretty 'woman, As you cannot svoid' out oxi cdm make it as goood as possible. pany When horse-cars have 'good éontluctors they are never struck by lightning. ~~ : A.Memphis paper defines advertisin to be * a blister which draws trade? E. 'What word is always pronouneed 'wro) even by the best of scholars--wrong. + es What is it which his 4 mouth and never speaks, and a bed and never sleeps A iy. er. The hairof a young lady in Vprmont turned white in a single night. She fell ine to a flour barrel, ¢ J A celebrated barrister was in the habit of saying--+ I always study the feawibility of @ case betore I uno atake it, Precocious boy maunching fruitat the date tree : « Mamma, if T eat dates. Ge will [ grow up to be an almanac 7* Tt is noted that all great humorists are so- ber and sedate, with a melancholy counten- ance, Itis rather serious business to be funny. The otherday a postmaster, onl F enterig his office, had his olfactory nerves disagreca. Lly assailed. On questicping. 8 boy ia the office as to the cause, the facetiong yoyth re- plied ; + I don't Kuow, sir; but the smell comes from ote of the dead letters.' ¢ What's your business 7 said thé 'magis~ trate ot a police court, the other morning, to a prisoner, 'I'm an observationist, your worship." 'An .observationist | What 1s that *¢ One who looks around in the day time to see what he can steal at night, if it Pisses But he kept very quiet all the same ; and whon we went off together about twelve, there was hardly a word spoken on the way to our chambers, 1 saw Smith again and again during the next two months, and could not help re- marking that a change had come over him. 'It's your liver, I think, old fellow,' said 1, let me write you a prescription 2° ¢ Noy! he said, 'it isn't the liver, I'm as well as can be.' shook my head, But as he did not seem disposed to give me his confidence, I did not caro to press him ; and the time slipped on, he the poor fellow growing more quiet y by day. I think I told you that Smith was an artist He was, but in a dilltante kind of a way. He was a bariste or by rights'; but he did not want any, but spent his time writing smart articles vers de societe for a well known mag- azine. Smith's chambers were in the Tem ple, up at the top of one of the ranges of buildings where he "could et njoy a capital view of the river and embankment and many were the pleasant evenings we had spent there together. It happened one evening during this pleasant autumn, that being by Temple Bar, I encountered a conpla of ladies tyrning up the one-sided remains of Bell yard, and one of them asked if it was the way into the Temple: 1 hastened to set them right when, * Hallo, Dobby I' said a cheery voice, 'where are you going 7' I was Just going to sce Smith,' I replied, shaking Jennings heartily ty the hand, { Here's the wife and Jennings, here,' said be, and the next moment I was paying my court to the ladies. ¢T say,' Jennings said, let's ge and storm | Smith.' ¢ Oh no, Thom. ! began Jenny. ¢ Why not ?' said Jennings. He'll be de. lighted to sce us--won't he Dobby? your worship. ¢ That I'll answer for,'I said ; andina| A Scotchman went tos lawyer, once for few seconds we were ¢ liming the cold stone advice, and detailed the circumstances of the stairs and passing dismal oak doors. case. 'Have you told mu the facts precisely, As I neared the top loor--for Iwas sent | as they ocenred 7" asked the lawyer, ¢ Oh, on first as poineer--I became aware of the |aye, scr! replied he. ¢Ithought it best to fact that the door was ajar, and 1 heard | tell you the plain truth. Ye can put the ith's voice ; but, he evidently repeat- | lies into it yourself.' ing something to himsc f learning it, I ¢ Shut your eyes and listen mit me,' had no hesitation in listening, especially as | Uncle Van Heyde, ¥ we were such good friends, But we passed | on the threshold, for this is what met my | eye, ¢ Smith in short jacket, and slippers was | kneeling on the carpet before an easy chair | more, in which he had stuck the bolster from the | since. e. Tomi hae, top his smoking cap, with its | A nen gentleman, during & sojourn ¢ Amatenr thentricals,' nmong the hills of New Hampshire, stop- t'rehearsaly | ping at a coutage, inquired of the occupant if But the next moment I wag dumb with there wer: any Episcopalians in the neighbor- astonishment : for Smith went on : hood. ¢Ldon't exactly know,' replied the ¢ Dearest Miss Gray, since the first night dame, ¢ but I believe John shot one in the when T beheld you at your sister's house, garden Just week, but he thought it was a have madly, passionately loved you. Here | chipmunk then, kneeling at your fect, I make you the '0 gracious, nol' exclaimed Mrs Marrow. fat to Mrs Qnoggs, raising her hands and said ¢ Veil, de first night I open store I counts de monies and finds him nix right ; I connts Lim and dere be tree ne j and vat you dink I does den? | can't 'ay.' ¢ Vy,did not count him any Jud he comes out shoost right ever I said to myself-- offer of my heart and hand.' + That i oy 't so bad,' he muttered. ¢ Let's speaking in a very excited tune, ~ ¢ She was try ag i s0 ill when her new bonnet came home that And fo Brant was he that he did not hear 'she couldn't get up ; but dear sakes | Jane, the fresh steps on the landing while I mal- iviously allowed Jennings to lead Jenny close up to where I stood when Theld her hand, and let her listen as the poor fellow went on, ¢« Dears that didn't matter nothing, for she just put herhat on, and lay with her head out the window tlie whole afternoon.' 4 Yesterday as an old citizen was nailing a "To Rent" card on n vacant house, & pedes- tran halted and remarked that -howse" wag ist Miss (rey, since the first night when I beheld you at your sister's house I not the right way to spell house, ¢ Haow have madly, passionately loved you. Here, long have you lived in Detroit * asked the then, Kneeling at your feet I offer you my old citizen scowling savagely. ¢ Fifteen heart and hand. years," was the reply. 'Well, I've lived here for thirty,' said the old man 'and I ghess I know how to spell as well a3 you do, reer i te sie Kissing in China. ¢ Bray door. Smithy,' T said thowing open the ¢ That's pretty perfect. Now go throug ain with the lady. I am afraid it was rath it may have been some wi 1 imp prompt- | | ing me. Atall events I did the deed ;and | those two looked at me as if they wish d to crush me out of existance, while Jennings roared with laughter, Mrs J said it was a great shame, tle Jenny alicons, though | x is a singular fact t that the custom of ing is almost unknown in China. The C Wine se, indeed, have no word or term ex--- | pre ssing love as we understand the tender passion. An American navy officer, voyage- ing Chinaward, 1elites an amusing experi ence of the ignorance of the science of kis- sing. Wishing to complete a Sopgues he | had made of a your.g met jin (beautiful lady) 1 her--using the English words-- a salute. Finding her compre-- | hension of bis request somewhat obscure, he A refreshments and o Wicks : | suited the action to the word and un- Toit which Lato ont TH | commonly Vodka deicone Kiso a neh heh wan, when I brought the | | thoroughly Alarmed, exclaiming, "terrible Isaw it all plainly enough now--cyni an RR Fg Smith had been most desperately gone w AG a TT caytue, 1 Jenny, who liked him too; but after the ed like to lewn more of your strango fashion of some young ladies shubbed him write Ke-e-es me! He knew it 'wasn't au kt, him ot Tuy "Afr, he ein, Fl uti et on tenting ber in the of Ins re sal, J £5 was not Nor aided [ite of ke-c.cs me v untilg she: kndw. how by Lis wife in ii Toi the prope: rte | to doit like a native Yankee gl, and atter ing of the drama, So Smith doclared, was | 41 ht she sggertd a second cours By accepted, the play came off, and I was ong | MITTEE, CR Ane Amin a oo of the uctors--best man was my part 3 and 1 [elec oe 7 (Ale Smeti a Ey net Lely Sion; = Nou tak it} rudely awakened the m from their delicious would 0 ne 1 © en oule ke Bian my fay vs and ry "har, |S CU oer ment sti 1M make me as happy a man as Su h was upon | OF \ ook yoy oh -_ ry i sn his wedding day. ten i . 100.4 P ny oy The rehearsal, though, is a standing joke, | "TONCReS and the sticking up of sofa pillow whenever we meet is sure to bring a red flush into the cheeks of Mrs Smith, and a declaration that is too bad for anything. Poor Smith | how he ought to have thank. ed us fou bringing matters to a climax. Lr r------ When they want to find out in the country if a girl is courting or not, an old lady steps in and remarks: 'I say, there an't no one sick in this here house or nothin', is there? I seen a light burnin' nigh on to twelve o'clock last night but I don't smell no camphire nor no- thing around.' Sensitive bather to bathing attendant :-- 4 Listen: if Iam to be diouned, or nearly so, I want it be distinctly understood that I am not to be-stoed-on my head, or ralled on a bargel, or any such ri iculous exhibitions made of me. If [can't be revived without any of these performances I prefer to be left alone, A little Vermontgirl called ata drug store and said, ¢ My mother wants two cents worth of jumps. ! This astonished the clerk. The child insisted that it was jumps she had been' sent for ; but returned to her mother for fur-- ther instructions. Very soon she came back and said it. was hops she wanted. «Mother wants to know if you won't please lend your preserving kettle--cause as how she wants to perserve?" ¢ We would with pleasure, boy, but the last time we lent it to oe mother she preserved it so effectu- A rt all i ally that we have never seen it since'-- nen wud dln wt "rite omer well you needn't be so saucy about your old > was very indignant but she | and as soon as Smith got he knocked the bolster he | of the | chair and tried to set Mrs Jennings in at, 1 But Jenn was too quick and popped | the little sister there to ber infinate con- fusion, & i ------------e A good joke is told of a certain Dublin professor--a sticker for ventilation. Being put in a room at a hotel with another guest, he asked the latter to raise the window at night, as the air was so close. 'I can raise it,' said the guest after working: at the win dow for a while, 'Thea knock a pane of glass out said the professor, which 'was done, After a while the professor got up nd and broke another pane, then he was able sleep ; but in. tage moming he discovered that the ad on- 1y broken into a hookcase. © * TRY OYe Nutrition. Tetegsinliled iu the treatment of all Chronic: Wailing Dis: a3es, Jon in Norton the meral Debility, is to improve and Assimilation of Food, and the of healthy Blood." DF Wheelers Compound Elixir of Phosphates: and Calisaya contains the only agents known that act ly as excitants of nutvition, by im tone to the Stomack, Liver and Da : tripod that prepares nourishmen . np the ofgans and tissues of th action of this remarkable pn traordinary in strengthe: the constitution, whethef exhausted by excessess, bad Ri down by old complaints thut all ordinary methods of. a delicions cordial to take, | kettle, mother wouldn't have troubled. you At by instalments and pairs, the fam- Jest or bed ; but not without Smith being iuveigled inte carrying little Johuny hey ay Fen with his feathers smoothed : To 'was called upon to go down to the snug ¢ Will you take Jenny owe, 84 Smith,' said. + Mr Dobby is going to take 'me: down, And I played cavalier without noticing | ie Faiz of discontent on Smith's counten- per passed off very pleasantly ; for little hoi De ey was the liveliest little | girl I have taken down to supper for years. 'She was chatty, too, and fullof repartee and '| mirthtul remark ; while Smith grew silent + Those children have completly tired you only we seed you have a new one.' A minister of Crail liad been long annoyed: by the drosy Drpensitics in church ofa farm- «r{ one of hisparishioners one ¢ David Cowan and, rémonstrating on the sub. Joet had hi patience conciliated by two cart- loads of coal, which the offender engaged to deliver to him. Neverth , a few Si afterwards, Mr Cowan, soon r the com- mencemient af the sermon, fell into a sound | sleep as formerly ; and not only so but made so much noise as to distarb the sit ters near him, and the minister. Mr Glass bore with it for a while, but_at last, being: unable to stand it any longer, desired he people in the north loft to ¢ wagken David] Cowan.' David, awakening sudden forgetting where he wis fsked the to + True and nutrition, and i a earful of the fine properties of well the manse last week to let him sleep ?' replied th minister, ¢ but 1 did not ot oie he didna drive twa cartloads of let you sore?" my : a TT r,