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v \ EE a fn et tA eR { i A i \ | 2 § ---- Porth Ontarix Obseruee. For each line, first insertion ....... .$0 08 0 OBSERVE AND GENERAL ADVERTISER VOL. XXII, NO 33.1 PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, JULY 31, 1879. SE ------------------------------------------ A WEEKLY POLITICAL, AGRICUL- TURAL §& FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 18 PUBLISHED AT PORT PERRY, ONT. EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BY 'BAIRD & PARSONS. PERMS.--$1 per annum, if paid in ad- vance ; if not $1.50 will be charged. No subscription taken for less than six months; and no paper discontinued until all arrears are paid, RATES OF ADVERTISING. Subsequent insertions, per line ...... 002 Cards, under 6 lines, per annum ..... 5 00 Nar Lettors containing money, when ad- dressed to this Office, pre-paid and regester- od, will be at our risk. 2 'Advertisements measured by Nonp y and charged according to the space they pc~ eupy. Advertisements received for publication, without specific instructions, willbe inserted until forbid and charged accordingly. No advertisement will be taken out untilpaid for. A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by, the year or half-year, se These torms will in all cases be strictly a a.eved to Job Department. Pamphlets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, Books, Circulars, Business Oards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and solor, executed promptly and at lower rates than any other establishment in the County. Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &e. printed can have them done to take home with them, J. BAIRD. Professional le NGSTER, M. D., Physician, Bur- geon and Accoucheur, Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. Omee over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of Queen and Perry Streets, Office hours from 9 a. m. to 12 m. Residence; the dwelling recently occupied By Mrs. Geo, Paxton. H. PARSONS. Cars. R. WARE, Coronor for the County of D ointario, Physician, Surgeon and Ac- gouchenr, Office, opposite the town hall. Port P ----ee -------------- 4, MCGILL & T 3, Physclans, Surgeons, a &e, Office and Residences, King st, Oshawa, FRANCIS RAE, M.D. WM. WGILE, M.D. M. F. MCBRIEN, M.D, M. R. UC. 8, Guy's Fraspital, London, kngland. The Kye R. Q, H. wy KE. FAREWE! o) . Attorney for Ralicitor, and Nota eupiad by 8. H. Coe ee tte i MAN L. ENGL H, LL. B., Solicitor in Ae, Attorney, Conveyance, &e. Oshawa. co--Simeoe strect, opposite the Post OfMece SMITIT, LL. B., Barrister, At- x uN Zolleitor In Chancery, And Insolvency, Notary Public, &e. * Office--McMillan's Block, Brock street, Whitby. ter W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan cery, Notary Public, &c., &c. fice hours punctually from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Money to Loan at 8 per cent, on all kinds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. a Teed . PATERSON, (late of Beaverton,) Hrristor and Attorney-at Law, Solicl- Lor in Chancery, Conveyancer, Notary Pub- Nees ee Brown & Currie's Store. BILLINGS Barrister, Solicitor, Notary + Publie, &e, Port Perry, F9- A large amount of money to loan at 8 per cent, J. A. MURRAY, ATE Patterson & A L Fenton, Surgeon > Dentist, Office over A Corrigan & Camp- bell's Store, Port Perry. All work done in the very latest and best style and warranted to give i {WHOLE NO. 1130 Business Cavs. ONTAR10 BANK. CAPITAL $3,000,000 PORT PERRY BRANCH. -- SAVINGS DEPARTMENT. A Savings Department is now open, in connection with this Branch. Deposits of FiveDollars and upwards received and inter= est allowed thereon, No notice of withdrawal required. - A.A. ALLEN, MANAGER. C. DAWES, LICENSED AUCTIONEER ! FOR THB COUNTY OF ONTARIO, Township of Mariposa Charges to suit the Times: © 0, DAWES. Port Perry, Feb 12, 1879. WwW. M. WILLCOX \ Ch LICENSED AUCTIONEER. i KTURNING my sincere thanks to my R numerous friends and patrons for their liberal * patronage bestowed upon 'me as Auctioneer during the past eight years, 1 would now beg to offer my services to all who may have Farm Stock, Implements, or other property to sell by Auction anywhere in North Ontario, the township of Matiposa or Cartwright. y My long and extensive practice as Auc- tioneer has enabled me to judge the value of Farm Stock with an accuracy second to none in the County, and this is of import. ance as if the Auctioneer is not a good judge of the value of Stock he may soon Jose far more than his fee in any sale, Bill stamps always on hand. Sale Bills arranged and notes supplied INO. & D. J. ADAMS, Money, Land & Insurance B ROKER S, HAE large sums of money on hand for Investment, Mortgages Purchased. A number of excellent Farms for Sale or to Rent. AGENTS FOR THE LINE Of Steamships. . . JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, Office In Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, Port Perry. Port Perry, Jan, 23, 1879, JAMESLUND, MONEY, LAND & INSURANCE BROKER, ONVEYANCER, Commissioner for taking AMidavits In Court of Queen's Bench, &c. MONEY TO LOAN In any manner to snit borrowers, Mor pages Bought, Accounts, Notes, &ec., Collected and prompt The party borrowing money can get it without commission, at the Lowest rate, and is allowed to fix his own time for payment of Interest once a year (not in advance), fad he can at any tihte, Just as circumstances permit repay part or all of the principal, | 8 the Company binding themselves inthe mort- gage Lo accept such sum, whether large or small, and apply it as a direct reduction of principal, immediately cancelling the interest on the sum paid. No 'extra charge is exacted epayment. Loans made froin 2 to s on farm, or good productive town Ra In all cases where the title is perfect, the cost will be very slight to the borrower. AsI am actihg both gent and Valuator for several Com panio: » can possibly be no publicity In the tia tion. If the title is perfect tho money will be paid here in two weelss after making appliea- tion. JAMES LUND, Broker, &e., Parrish's Block, Cor, Brock and Bascom streets, UXbridge. Uxbridge, May 17, 187 JD MONEY TO LOAN. The undersigned has any amount of Money to lend upon Farm and Town Property, at all that can be required in the matter of choice of the market and the utmost atten- tion paid to the convenience and comfort of Shed accommodation, and attentive hostlers. Port Perry, April 20, 1876. Post PERRY HOUSE, PORT PERRY. JAS. V. THOMPSON, - PROPRIETOR. the Home Style. Good Liquors and Cigars, also, first class Stabling and good Additions have been made which maker this the largest and best House in this section of country. Fare $1.00 per Day. (C2MvERsiAL HOTEL, Dewart in the Commercial Hotel, Williams- burg, Cartwright, intends fitting it up with a view to the comfort and convenience of guests, -- Cartwright, March 4, 1879, GHOST STORIES UNVEILED. HOW THE SUPERNATURAL DISAPPEARS ON INVESTIGATION. = __ 7hotels. THE WALKER HOUSE PORT PERRY The following are related in tho conversational style in which they were told to a contribtitor to Chamber's Journal :-- «I am sure none of you were ever so terrified by a ghost as [ was,' said my Aupt Mabel. 'It was an Am- erican ghost, which perhaps ac- counts for its having been moro wild and weird and altogether more electrifying than anything ever mot with in the old country. You know that I went to America when 1 was young, and spent many of my early years in a lonely farm house in the aE Subscriber having leased the above . hotel, it will be his endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the approbation and patronage of the public, THE WALKER HOUSE whether for extent or quality of acco: dations is equalled a fow rt oo Ee Province and surpassed by none out ot the best citios, Commercial Travelers, the Traveling Public, Farmers and othets doing business in the Village and the general public will n THE WALKER HOUSE accommodation and moderation in charges. Che Charges are Nq Higher at the | backwoods.' 'Walker House than at any 'And without servants, Aunt other Hotel in Town. Mabel ?' The House is fitted up throughout in FIRST CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supplied with the «Quito true, dear. Servants would not stay in such an out-of-the- way place without higher wages than we could give them, and indeed the 'helps' we tried were often more deserving of the name of 'hinderers. But wo were all yourg and strong, and we never had happier days than when we all kept house together, and did the work with our own bands; capital training it was, though at first we made many mis-- takes, everything was so new and strange to us. «It was soon after my arrival in this lonely place that I met witha terrible fright. Isabel and I shared the same room, and one night I was awakened by hearing her crying by my side, « What is tho matter, Isabel?' £0, a toothache, a most dreadful toothache, and I have nothing to relieve it. It 1 could only get some brandy ; a little burnt brandy would cure it in a moment.' ¢ My doar,' I said jumping out of bed, I will get you some directly.-- [ know where it is--in the parlor cupbosrd--and I have got tho key.' ALL GUESTS. An abundance of comfortable Stable and W. B. McGAW. The above House is now most comtort- ably furnished, and Guests are cared for in stlers,-- The subscriber having succeeded Mr, The supplies for the table and bar care- fully sclected. PETER HOLT. EVERE HOUSE, MANCHESTER. still to feol the thrill of torror that shook me at the sound of that un- earthly shrieks. Heard for the first time in the dead hour of night and close to my ear, it was truly starl- ing and dreadful. It was a groat relief to have the matter explained. But only imagine if it had never been explained ! If the owl bad got in unperceived, and had escaped by the chimney or an open window! How that ghostly sbriek must have haunted mo evorafter! It wouldthave boon as frightful a ghost story as you ever heard. But see! atthe touch of tho little wand of truth the ghost vanishos, and only a poor screech- owl remains I' ¢ Now let mo tell the story of our "family ghost,' said Miss B. 'Buch a useful, faithful, devoted spirit as it was | An Irish ghost; but not a banshoe--more like a 'delicate Ariol' or household fairy. I only fear 1ts raco is extinct now, as well as that of tho valuable servants who used lo idontify themselves with their master's family. Our ghost was before my time ; but ofton and and often bave 1 heard my grand- mother talk of jit, and what a mys- tery it was. The housohold was largo and varied, consisting of the ald couple, some grown up ones,one of them married, an orphan niece, and two or three young children in the nursery. There wasno railways in thoso days, and when the family intended going to the country town they had to be up atdawn of day, 1ako a solitary broakfast, and sot out on what was then a formidable ox- pedition. Of course the affair used to bodiscussed in the family the ovening before, commissions given and the timo of starting fixed on. ¢ And now comes the strange part of my story. Whether tho servants wero up in good time or not, the fire was always lighted, tho kettle boilng, and the breakfast ready at the appointed time! The clothos ¢ But you bave no light.' By GEO. HOUCK. «0,1 can grope my way to the| free of charge. Days of Sale may be arranged at the | Onserver Office, where a Sale Register will | be kept. on Ww. M, wv days of Sales. Port Perry, Jan 10, 1879. T GORDON, Valuator, WM. Licensed Auctioneer, «eo, OR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mariposa and Eldon, Parties entrusting their Bales to me may rely on the utmost attention being given to their interests. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. T. H. WALSHE, ICENSED Auctioneer for the Township 4 of Brock, T'horah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario; Mariposa, cte., in the County of Victoria. Residence--Canningtohi, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctnally attended to. Debts col- lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittances made. Remembers WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- ecr. satisfaction, Port Perry, March 28, 1877. 0. N. VARS, L. D. 8, EETH inserted on all the latest princi- Te of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- est, and as good as the best. Teeth filled with Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted without pain by producing local anwmsth- esia. Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, King Street, Oshawa. ee Hanning & Lally, 1. SURVEYORS, CIVIL EN- . amxgers, Draughtsmen, Solicitors of Patonts. Office, Gould's Block, Uxbridge. 0. G. BANNING. 0. W. LALLY. Moxpy 70 Loax.--C. G. Hanning, Agent for the Freehold Loan & Savings Co. Uxbridge, Match 26, 1879. -- ENRY GRIST, PATEN SOLICITOR AND H DravanT™aN, Ottawa, Canada. Pransacts business with the Patent Office snd other departments of the Government. Copyrights and the Registration of Trade Marks and Designs procured. Drawings, Bpecifications, and other Documents neces to secure Patents of Invention, prepared fa receipt of the model of the Invention. EY . D. BATEMAN, Yeterinary Surgeon, PORT PERRY. ASE CALLS by day or night promptly attended to, Orders by mail or telegraph will be attended to without delay. Ovrice--Mary Street, directly south of Hallett's Hotel. : D. BATEMAN. Port Perry, April 9, 1870, R. RICHARDSON Re-appointed Issuer Marriage Licenses. st con. Brock. Brock, Aug, 5,1874, 33 Under the New Act. - Office, lot. 10, in the Wh ee WM. HEZZELWOOD, Licensed Auctioneer. HE Undersigned having taken out a License as Auctioneer is now prepare fo attend to all sales entrusted to him.-- Having had much experience in handling Real Estate, Live Stock such as Horses, Cattle, Sheep, &c., also Farming Imple- ments of all kinds, Farm Produce, &c, &c., ies placing their sales in my hands may rely on getting all for the property thatis possible to bring. All orders promptly attended to, sale bills made out and sale notes turnished free of charge. | Parties leaving thelr orders at the Onssnvie Office, Port Perry, will receive immediate and careful attention. o Moderato. | ash WM. HEZZELWOOD, Raglan, Raglan, Sept 10,1878. M. SPENCE, ConTaapTor, BuiLpes, &c. bseriber In now or! Lay toring, and everything conneote therewith, anne will xobutoan the short ast notice and in the best and Tost durable style, and at the very Iowest figus at which a Food oh, can be doue. The t material and lass workmansh! Sess w Wir. SPENCE. Prince Albert; April, 1875. W. BURN HAM, Clork of the Third Divi « sion Court. ofmce in Bigalow's Bloek; Port Perry. OmMce hotirs from 1a. m. to8 p. m. T. C. FORMAN, For the County of Ontario. Port Perry, Nov 1, 1875. OHN CHRISTIE, TOWNSHIP OLERE, mmissioner &c. Office~Manchester. T C. FORMAN, » 185UER OF 5 Marriage Licenses. Port Perry. Terms Liberal. Lands for sale, cheap. Port Perry, Sept. 4, 1877. Tavestminty Hit in Municipal Dcben tures, Bank and other marketable Stocks. E. MAJOR, Apply to Jone AUCTIONEER. All parties JAMES IIOLDEN, wishing his services can call at the Broker, &e, Observer" Office, Port Perry, and arrango fOr ywyiq,0 April 10, 1873. INSPECTOR of WEIGHTS & MEASURES . 4b:tf saver of Mavriags Licenses--Conveyaicer, One door west of the Walker House Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loans can be repaid in any mavner to suit the borrower. Also several Tmproved Farms, and Wild NOTICE TO FARMERS & OTHERS MONEY TO LOAN. HE undersigned would say to the owners of Real Estate, that hie has in his hands a | Taage amount of private funds which he is prepared to invest for peridds to suit borrow- ers--interext at eight per cent. lixpedition and most reasoniible terms assured. 8. H, CHRISTIAN. Manchester, October 17, 1877, Having leased the above excellent ITotel it will be my endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public. Manchester, Oct. 6, 1875, room, and then I can easily light my | candle at the stove.' { «No sooner said than done. 1 wrapped a shawl around me, went | swiftly and quiotly down stairs, fo my way through tho dark and de- serted room, and succeeded in light. ing my candlo at tho stove. But no sooner did I hold up the lighted candle to make my way to the cup- board, than a most unearthly shrick rang tbrough the room. At tho (Q=ranlD HOTEL, WHITBY, T, MASON, - - PROPRIETOR. The public well cared for, and all Guests will please feel at home. 'Whitby, Nov. 9th, 1876. UEENS HOTEL, Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts, CANNINGTON, Ont. D. CAMPBELL, .. . Prormsror | @Xtinguished. I was left in total This Hotel is now furnished in the best |darkness, and all was still and silent style, and offers every accommodation to |as before. trayelord, ¢ Chilled with horror, and trembl. p&5™ First class Sample Rooms. Livery |. : ched ing every limb, Igropel my my way MONEY TO LOAN. HE Subscriber is prepared to lend money on improved property for terms from one to twenty years. | Agent for Westin CANADA LoAN AND Savisas Coxpaxy, | He has also been instructed to invest a large amount of Private Funds, Intercst Eight per cent. No Commission, N. fF. PATERSON. Port Perry, May 20, 1878. Solicitor CLEMENT DAWES, "T AS Money to Loan on Farm security in any manner to suit borrowers. Mort. nges bought at lowest rates. Accounts, Notes, &c, collected on reasonablo Com. mission, Apply personally, or by letter to C DAWES, Auctioneer, &c., Port Perry, March ¥, 1818. MONEY [Private Funds,) T'o Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- terest. LYMAN ENGLISH, Barrister, &c., Oshawa November 21, 1866. 4 WESTERN ASSURANCE COMPANY. INCORPORATED 1851. CAPITAL ' . $800000. (With power to increase to $1,000,000.) HEAD OFFICE, TORONTO. Bp" Insurances effected at the lowest cuirent rates on Buildings, Merchandise, and other property, against loss or damage by firo. JNO. & D. J. ADAMS, Agents, Port Perry. Port Perry, Jan 22, 1879. THE ONTARIO Farmers' Mutual Insuance Co'y! Head Office, 'Whitby, This Company is now fully organized and is prepared to accept risks on Farm Buildings and their contents, country School Houses '| and Churches, Those wishing to insure and thereby support a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either by applying to the Head Office, or to any of the local Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respon- sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel Brock St., Whitby. : C. NOURSE, Sceretary. back as well as I could and told my | story to Isabel ; but she was in such | pain that it did not make tho im- | pression on her that I expected, I got but littlo sympathy. ¢ It. must havo boen the wind, or wild-cat outside that screamed,' she said; ' and as to the light being put out, that of course was shoor acci= dent. Candles often go out when they are just lighted. Of course,' 'wo are not such fools as to believe in ghosts.' ¢This rather put meon my mettle; and moved, beside, by her moans of n tense pain, T at last braced myself up to a second attempt. I went with great determination, resolving that nothing should now hinder me from bringing the remedy to my sister. ¢ Proceeding down stairs again, all went well till I tornod with the the lighted candlejin my hand. In. stantly the same yell resounded in my ears, while something I could not tell what, swept past me and dashed out the light. «How I reached my room I never knew, but I crawled into bed more dead than alive, and so soon as I could speak I told Isabol that, no matter what happened, nothing could in- duce me to make the venture again. «Morning came at last, and with it tho solution of the mystery. My brothers had cote home late, bring- ing with them a screech owl which thoy had caught and, and had put it into the parlor for safety till morning. Tho light bad of course disturbed it, and it bad flown against the candle and extinguished it while uttering ite pecular and singularly hideous cry. My terror at the mid night ghost was a joke at my ox~ pense for long after.' ¢1 think you were vory brave to go into the room the second time, Aunt Mabel.'- 'Woll, I think, I was, 1 must admit, But I would have braved almost anything for Isabel, and I was a strong, courageous girl, who Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. 43 A Jaro-aurm CAN HOTEL, . PRINCE ALBERT. W. H. PARK, - - - PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have thoroughly repaired and refiovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. The Hotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and StocKed with the best Liquors and Cigars! Strict attention paid to the comfort of guests. The table and bar well supplied. W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1876. A isrone HOUSE, (LATE ALBION,) WHITBY, ONTARIO. E. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. The Only First Class House in Town. Boy HOUSE, te Jewett House, Kent Street, Lindsay. Board, $1.50 per day. E. BENSON, Proprietor. T= QUEEN'S HOTEL, WHITBY, ONT, McCANN & TAYLOR, ProrrisTors. Every accommodation for the traveling public. ' (Exe HOTEL, SAINTFIELD. The undersigned baviog throughly reno- val repaired the ve conveniently located Hotel, would now inform the traveling public that the utmost attention will be given to the comfort and convenience of all guests. Cholee supplies for the table and the bar. Good Stabling and a careful hostler. JOS. BROWN, Proprietor. Saintfield, March 25, 1879. NIPISsING HOTEL, SUNDERLAND. The undersigned having leased the above Hotel has renovated and fitted itup with a view to the satisfaction and convenience of fuses. Supplies for the table and bar oare- fully selected, The traveling public will find every accommodetion necessary to comfort at the Nipissing Hotel. T. TUCKER. 3underland, May 5, 1879. pes NONQUON HOTEL. The undersigned having purchased the above Hotel has had it thoroughly overhaul- ed in every department in and around the premises fitting it in every way to secure tho comfort of guests. The stipplies for the table and bar will always be the best the market can supply. No effort will be spered in making this large | the obliging and indefatigable ghost same moment the light wassuddenly | b r | room,' suid a visitor, the night bo- which came from the wash were carefully sorted out and aportioned out to their respective owners--no ono could tell by whom. If a fire was required in tbe nursery, it was kopt up by invisable hands. Nurse was a heavy slcoper ; but no matter --lor deficiences wero supplied by Nurse used to find as bright as fire in the morning as she had left at night, the turf basket replenished and all as noat and orderly as hand could mako it. To got out the eakfast things, my grandmother's keys must have been taken from her room, but by whom no one could toll Leave the key basket in my fore he left. 'lam a light sleeper, and if tho ghost comes to get my breakfast, I shall know it.' «Poward daybreak he heard the keys tinklo, and instantly threw a dagger, which ho had hidden under his pillow, to tho spot from whence tho sound proceeded. In the morn- ing the dagger was found sticking in the door, but no clus to the mysterious visitor could bo found. + At last my grandmother deter: mined that the mystery should be solved, whatover it mignt be, and sho prepared to set tip in her room all night; listening for the faintest sound. For a long time all was still ; and my grandmother was beginning to foar that her long watch through the winter's night was only wasting her strength in vain, when at last, somewhere in the small hours, she heard a slight thud upon tho stairs. Instantiy seizing her candle, sho rusbed out in timo to scea slender figure in white carrying a basket of turf onits arm. The fall of a sod from tho fuel basket was the sound sho bad heard. My grandmother was a brave woman, and swiftly as the white figure flitted on, swiftly did she follow after, up the staircases and along passages, till, just asit reached the nursery door, sho overtook it, and discovered hor niece walking in hersleep ! «It seems that the poor girl was so anxious about the household ar- rangements that she used to rise in her sloep to accomplish all that she knew ought to be done. How her zeal nearly cost her life, through the foolish rashness of a young visitor, 1 have already told you. She was novor again permitted to sleep alone. My grandmother took her to her own bed; and clasped in her loving arms, the poor girl learned to forgot her cares, and take the full beneflt of + Tired Naturo's sweet restorer balmy sleep. [ad not my grandmother possess aud pleasantly located Hotel an agreeable resting place for the traveling public. W. S. LATTIMOR. bardly knew what foar was. Still, I can assure you that even to this W. H. BROWNE, General Agent. Seagrave, May 1, 1879 day when I recall the sceno, I scom ed good sense, courage, and resolu- tion, the story might have had a The man who chased a sailor said he was making a target. Of course women can keep a secrot, but it takes a good many of thom to do it. Man is a gudgeon--woman is the line; ber smile, thofloat; her kiss, the bait. ILoveis the hook. And marriage is the frying pan. Tho Utica Observer, observing rows of young men at church doors on Sunday evenings calls them "dandy lines." Are they there just for greens. The New York Herald says "fine clothes never made a garden of Eden." Buta hankering for fine clothes busted one up, we believe. An up-country church society of- fors a reward for the arrest of the person who surreptitiously intro- duced a hornet's nest into the grab- bag. Mr. Tilson, of Tilsonburg, is mak- ing a big dam and the local papers blow about it. Wo have heard lots of people make big damns and never said & word about it. What torminates 4 man's smile about as quick as anything else, is to have his cane slip out of his hand and drop through a grating in front of an unoccupied building. 'The cucumber does its best fight- ing,' observes the Hartford Times, 'after it is down," At best, however, it is a discroditable warfare. It is only an intestinal strife. An Albany girl was frightened into convulsions by a brass band, and died. Usually the results of such afllictions are not fatal, but tond to produco bad language and insanity. The Detroit Free Press rather - - -- An old farmer intent on making bis will was asked by the lawyer the name of his wife, when he gravely replied, 'Well, indeed, I don't really recollect what it is; we've been mar- ried for upwards of forty years, and I've always called bor my old wo- man.' Tho lawyer left a blank to be filled up when his old woman's name was ascertained. On a honoymoon tour recently, the young husband, going across from Dover to Boulogne, was sud- donly very strange. 'Are you ill, love?' exclaimed tho anxious model wife. 'Ob, say, Alfred, beloved, are youill? Ho wus afraid of being doubted, and faintly roplied, I think the shrimps I had for breakfast this morning must have been alive.' A gontleman, wishing to obtain board for his wife and family in the vountry, was directed to a noat-look- ing farm house kept by an old farm- or nnd his wife. A brief inspection satisfied him that tho place would suit him. 'But now as to the terms,' he said. 'Waal,' drawled the farm- or, 'you have six children, you say ?' 'Yes, sir.' The old man roflected a fow moments and roplied, 'Last year I took children at;half price. Do you see them pair trees and berry bushes ? Waal, this year I will charge full price tor the young uns, and throw in your wife and yourself for nothin".' tire lb iia Going on an Excursion. They had been preparing for the excursion for about two weeks, The day at last dawn. ed, and as the boat was to start early, the young wife determined to be on hand. The clock struck eight, and still she was in the, kitchen, her hair down ber back, packing edibles In the basket, 'Hurry up,' said John, her young husband. I'll be ready prosently,' -aud away she darted to blacken her shoes and put on a f etoan collar. Then she stuck her head out alarms us by saying that there are no fans in heaven. So far 48 Woof the back window to ask her nest door have heard, thoy are only necessary | neighbor to leud her a breast pin. in-tho other department. 'Hurry up, John," said ghe. 'You bring | the basket, now I'm all ready and am goin, . At tho Opera--Adolphus (speak- | down to the boat, and say y 24 don't Pe ing for the third time)--'Why 80 [a box of sardines you'll find in the closet,and quiet, Lucinda? Lucinda--TI am | bring the pickles aud tongue and be sure porfoetly intoxicated with tho music, {and bring a big knife. Do you hear me, Adolphus.' Adolphus--Ob, I sec; oun' you're air-tight.' | : reeled k the kitchen and began He was interrupted by his wife's his work. Photographer--'Youn don't appear | voice ft welow yelling ; pleased with your pictures, sir.-- «John, there's a can of strawberries in the Sitter--'No, I'm not ; thoy look like fce- box, don't forget them, Now hurry, we'll be fearful late; and say, bring one or two more hankerchiefs und a sun umbrella --or I don't know, it looks like rain, Lring my waterproof, Oh, you old poke, you're going to stay there all day. Now run back and close those back shutters and put the - cat in the kitchen, and leave a pan of mille Kansas farmer purchased a revols | gr her; atid say, just step around to the ver for his wife, and insisted on tar- | butcher's, and tell him we won't need any get practico,so that she could defend | meat to-day ; aud leave the key of the vellae the house 1n case of his absence, -- | under the parlor door mat. Now hurry, Aftor the bullet had been dug out of lun, Uiioff. Aud don forget 40 thing, his leg and the cow buried, he said | Ts way y » He didn't forget anything; but when he he guossed that sho had better shoot | reached the wharf he found the boat bad with an axe, tho very Old Nick." Photographer --'Why, sir, I thought thoy wero a remarkably good likeness. Sitter-- 'Dang it, yos; that's just what's the trouble.' been gone two hours. -- erat ee nn A little fivo year old could not How to Swi te. edi ft 3 . ow to Swim.--1he editor oi 3 ( an lerstand why the stars did London Truk, after observing that probably not 8 Lng one night when the rain | not ono in twenty of the persons who in- was pouring down in torrents. Sbo dulge in boating on a holiday can swim + | stood at the window pondering on | proceeds to tell Lis readers how to acquire the subject with as much gravity as | this accomplishmont: 'Nothing, ho says, Galileo when he looked at the 'is more easy. rhea Sas alr is out of a swinging lamp in the Cathedral of body its owner sinks ; when the airs in the Pisa. and with equal sue IL body its owner floats. Let any one slowly 138, q sue 288, OF &11 | jraw in his breath as he draws back his legs at once her countenance lighted up, | and pushes forward his arms, retain it while and she said ; 'Mother, I know why | Le is preparing for tho stroke which is to the stars don't shine, God has pulled propel him, and slowly allow it to go them up so as to l6t tho water come through his lips as his arms are passing back through tho holes.' from before his head to his sides and bis legs are stretched out. The action of the stroRo Why it looked up.--Old Phineas |sbould not be quite horizontal, but 'should Rico was one of the quaint types of | be made ou a slight inclive downward, The itinorant Methodist preachers. Flo | roal reason why people take weeks to learn hud a bard patch to cultivate once, how to ewirn is because swiinming professor : either do not know or do not chodss te and when he made his report to the teach, the philosophy of breathing, sa as to Conference following he reported oer fe body bone 1 Yuki cofuge the church looking up." The Bishop | 106 ve be a congenital idiot.' presiding oxprossed his pleasure, rt: but asked for an explanation, bo- cause no one expected success in that parish. Dr. Rice was equal to the occasion, and added: 'Well, Bishop, the church is on its back, and can't look any jother way.! There was a roar of laughter all over the Con- ference, A young Chippewa hunter was shooting squirrels nthe woods that border Lake Huron, in Outario, when a large pine fll upon him, knocking him down and crushe jog his leg. He could notfriso or remove the tree, which was lying across his broken leg. To lie there and starve to death seemed all that was loft to him. In hisdilemna he took out his knife, cut oft his own leg, bound it up with his sash, dragged himself along the ground to his canoe, snd paddled home to his wigwam on a distant island. There the care of his wounds was cotnpleted and he is still alive. Training Sharp Shooters. Prizes amounting © $4,000 will be come poted for at the approiching annual meef= ing of the Domiuion Rifle Association,-- The chief prize 2 a prize of S17 pousds . i sterling, donated by the Governor-Gen An unsuccessful vooalist went to a To of tue Association; 35 the poor-hoase and delighted the |is to bo competed for at 200, 500 soit id 1 i i ingi : 1 | yards, ten shots at each range wil inmates with bis singing. To said |{IL0 Gli rides. Thoreare fo bo thirty it was a natural thing for him 10 do, | competitors. Each of the ine next Bighost g i competitors to reccive a badge somew a8 he'd been singing to poor houses i or os ey ut over since he began his career, Wimbledon, Any position may be chowbe The Wimbledon team for 1880 is to Woy me you kee a crazy man, | gested oa the thirty compstivurs foe this my dear,' asked a wife, seating her- | prise subject to the reserva : it beside her hush d 't ¢nce to Manitoba aud Beitish Colamble, a8 Be : nd. 0 4 Forovided by at the general mevt= know,' replied her husband, 'I give ing: . : tera it up. 'Why,' replied the wile, Another Tit X bitching tp close to him,and putting ed priv, militia, -- on ono of. her sweetest smiles, 'I am |The ist prise is $25; 2nd, $20; 3rd, $15; 3 ; your other self, and you aro besido| oF, $10; 16 of 85, Many are the apopthogms ome might quote from Ruskin ; but there are few better than one which says, 'You may have seen a clever man who was indolent, but you never saw a great man who was so.' Masson. i & very different ending,' total value of §200, yourself,' ¥ ¢