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15 Pe "AND GENERA L PORT PERRY, PROVINCE OF ONTARIO, THURSDAY, APRIL 22 om-- , 1880 ai i Sn-- errr ors meme Hoth Ontarix Obarruer. SPARE, * {8 PUBLISHED AT'PORT PRORY, OFT, EVERY THURSDAY NoRNING, BAIRD & PARSONS. TERMS.--$1 per annum, if paid To ads vance ; if not $1.50 w c .. No subscription taken for Toh than six months; and no paper discontinued until all arrears ° are pa RATES OF ADVERTISING. or each line, first insertion ........ Subsequent insertions, per line . Cards, under 6 lines, per annum .... . ay 08 0 02 6 00 Letters containing money, when ad- aed i Oo, pro pa and 'regester- # J * &éd, will be at our risk. Advertisements measured by Nonpareil, and charged according to the space they oc-- 'cupy. Advertisements received for publication. without specific instructions, will be inserted \ntil forbid and charged accordingly. No advertisement will be taken out untilpaid fot. A liberal discount allowed to Merchants and others who advertise by the year or half<year. #@F These terms will in all cases be strictly 4 werd to Job Department. Pamphlets, Hand Bills, Posters, Pro- grammes, Bill Heads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Checks, . Books, Circulars, Business Cards, Ball Cards, &c., of every style and solor, executed promptly and at lower rates shan any other establishment in the County. p@~ Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &c. printed can have them done to take home with tham. J. BAIRD. Profession =n 1, PARSONS. a cars. H. SANGSTER, )., Physician, Sur- « Reon and Accoucheur, 'Coroner for the County of Ontario PORT PERRY. OMce over Nott's Furniture Store, corner of Queen and Perry Streets. OMce hours from 9a. m. to 12 m. Residence, the dwelling recently occupied By Mrs. Geo, Passton. ee som epee D. ANDERSON, MB, MD,FTMS, e). M.C.P.8.. L.R.C.P. Graduate of the University. of Toronto, graduate of the Uni. vorsity of Trinity College, Fellow of Trinity Medical School, Member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons ; Licentiate of the Royal College of Physicians, Edinburg, Physician, Surgeon, and Accoucheur, Office over Mr. Corrigan's Store, Port Perry. R. WARE, Coronor for the Coutity of and Ontario, Physician, Surgeon c- eourheur, Office, opposite the town hall. Port Perry. M. F. MOBRIEN, M.D,, M. R. (0. 8., Guy's v Frospital, London, England, The kiye R. oy o Oshawa, E. FAREWELT, LL. B, County Crown oJ . Attorney for Ontario, Barrister, Attorney, Solicitor, and Notary Public. Office lately oc- cupiad by 8. H, Coelirane, Bsq., Broek street, Whithy. YMAN I. ENGLISH LL. B,, Solicitor in J Chancery, Attorney, Conyeyancer, &e. Oshawa. co--Rimeoe street, opposite the Post Office YOUNG SMITH, LL. B,, Barrister, At- . torney-at-Law, Solicitor in Chancery, snd Insolvency, Notary Publie, &c. OMee--McM¥ian's Block, Brock street, Whitby. W. Maurice Cochrane, TTORNEY-AT-LAW, Solicitor in Chan cery Notary Public, &e., &c. office hours punctually from 9 a.m. to 5 pm Money io Loan at' 8 per cent,on all kinds of good security. Office, Bigelow's Royal Arcade, PORT PERRY. PATERSON, (late of , Barrister unl Attorney-at tor in (hancery, Conveyancer, lie, &o., &o. Oftice over Brown & Currle's Store Port Perry: Bou La BILLINGS Barrister, Solicitor, Notary « Public, &e, Port Perry. A large amount of money to loan at 8 bo per cent. + J. A. MURRAY, ATE Patterson & Fenton, Surgeon entist. Office over Corrigan & Camp- bell's Store, Port Perry. All work done in the very latest an satisfaction. Por Perry, March 28, 1877. ©. N. VARS, T.. D. 8. |GAPITAL $3,000,000 Notary Pub- d 'best style and warranted to give Business Sarvs. ONTARIO BANK. -- PORT PERRY BRANCH. » rs SAVINGS DEPARTMENT. A Sivings Department is now open in 'connection with this Branch. Deposits of FiveDollars and upwards received and inter= required. AA. ALLEN, "MANAGER. est allowed therepn. No notice of withdrawal = FTURNING my sincere thanks to my 1% numerous friends and patrons for their liberal patronage bestowed upon me as Auctioneer during the past eight years, 1 would now beg' to offer my services to all who may have Farm Stock, Implements, or other property to sell Auction anywhere in North Onfario, the township of Mariposa or Cartwright. My long and extensive practice as Auc- tioneer has ehabled me to judge the value of Farm Stock with an accuracy second to none in the County, and this is of import- ance aft the Auctioneer is not a good judge of the yaluo of Stock he may soon jose far more than his fee in any sale. Bill stumps always on hand. » Sale Bills nrranged and notes stpplie free of charge. Days of Sa Onsprver Office, W be kept. Terms Liberal, Port Perry, Sept. 4, 1877. John L. Watlkis, LICENSED AUCTIONEER ! VALUATOR, ----AND---- le may be amanged at™the | W.M. W. Commission Jfigent. OFFICE--Queen Street, Tort Perry. March 3, 1880. » E. MAJOR, 1A JSED AUCTIONEER, All parties nie his services can call at the «Qbserver" Office, Port Perry, and arrange for days of Sales. Port Perry, Jan 10, 1879. L WM. GORDON, Licensed Auctioneer, Vaiuator, OR the Township of Brock, Uxbridge, { Scott, Thorah, Rama, Mara, Mavipesa and Eldon, Parties entrusting thelr Sales to me may rely on tlie utmost attention being given to their interests, &e. WM. GORDON, Sunderland, Brock. nse emer Bor ei = T. 5. WALSHE, ! JCENSED Auctioneer for the Township of Brock, Thorah, Mara & Rama in North Ontario; Mariposa, etc., in the County of Victoria, Residence--Cannington, Brock. Orders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctually attended to. Debts col= lected in Cannington, or otherwise, and prompt remittances made. RemeMmber-- WALSHE, the North Ontario Auction- eer. | WM. HEZZELWOOD, | Licensed Auctioneer HE Undersigned having taken out a License as Auctioneer is now prepared to attend to all sales entrusted to him -- Having had much experience in handling Real Estate, Live Stock such as Horses, | Cattle, Sheep, &c., also Farming Imple- ments of all kinds, Farm Prednce, &e, &c., | parties placing their sales in my hands may | rely on getting all for the property that is possible to bring. All orders prom made out and sale notes turns! ptly attended to, sale bills hed free of juni jaserted on all the latest princi- ples of the art, and as cheap as the cheap- | ¢harge. est, and as as the best. Teeth filled| Parties leaving their orders at the with Gold and Silver. Teeth extracted | Opgpnyver Office, Port Perry, will receive without pain by producing local anmsth. esia. block, over Atkinson's Drug Store, Street, Oshawa. test, Oawny ao Hanning & Lally. CIVIL EN- L, SURVEYORS, » GINEERS, Draughtsmen, Solicitors of ents. Office, Gould's Block, Uxbridge. a. BANNING. : . Moxsy 10 Loax--C. G. Hanning, Agen forthe Frechold Loan & Savings Co. " Uxbridge, March 26, 1879. RY GRIST, Pa RAUGHTMAN, Ottawa, Canada \ business with the Patent Office other departments of the Government the Registration of Trade ured. Drawings, jam ghts and 'Marks and Designs proc! Bpecifications, and other Documents nce _sary to secure "fn receipt of the model of the Invention. D. BATEMAN, v eterinary 'Surgeon, _ PORT PERRY. Ee -- Dentical Rooms--in Cowan's new King 0. W. LALLY. TEN SOLICITOR AND Patents of Invention, prepared immediate an.1 careful attention. Charges Moderate. WM, HEZZELWOOD, Raglan, Raglan, Sept 10,1878. ees M. SPENCE, CoxTRAUTOR, BUILDER, &C. f The Subscriber in fqn thanks for the very liberal i stowed on him in the past' wou public generally that Raving perty and moved Into the 1 he will in future give his whole ttention to hi Contractor, and is sow ro to Work, Brick: nf CO! adh which oY a SE awost figure at whieh style, and al le Ver, at n goidioh ean be "owe. ihe Dost material 'workmanship. 2 WM. spENCE. Prince Albert, April 5, 1876. j= CHRISTIE, TOWNSHIP OLERK,. | suer of Marriage TLicenses--Conveyancer, Commissioner &c. Office--Manchester. F C. FORMAN, 18SUER gs: his Sincere ron: - td form the ro- t Marriage Licenses. One door west of the Walker House [ENRY CHARLES havitig been re- 'appointed Marriage License dgeni-- ie Suey Somme To nish Licenses as horetolor BROKERS, H Bale or to Rent. Of Steamships. Port Perry, Jan. 23, 1870, JAMESLUND, BROKER, MONEY In any manner to Suit borrowers, Bought, Accounts, Notes, &c., Collec prom pt remittances made. wi d | is allowed to fix his own time for payment of ¥ i » here a Sale Register will | the Company bi | gage 10 necept small; ay oh the sum pald. 2) ye cot will be am acting several Companies there ean possibly be no publicity in the transaction. 1IND. & D. J. ADAMS,| Money, Land & Insurance PORT PERRY, AVE large sums of money on hand for Investment, Mortgages Purchased. A number of excellent Fa for AGENTS FOR THE ALLAN LINE JOHN & DAVID J. ADAMS, Office in Mr. Ross' Ontario Buildings, . Port, Perry. MONEY, LAND & INSURANCE (ONVEYANCER, Commissioner for taking | AMdavits in Court of Queen's Bench, &e. TO LOAN Mortgages ted and The party borrowing money can get 1t thout commission, at the Lowest rate, and f fiiterest once a year (not in advance), and can at any time, just as circumstan f the prineipal, Ives Inthe mort- he ormit repay part or all ol ding thems: ch sum, whether large or Wd apply it as a direct reduction of , immediately cancelling the interest No extra charge 1s exacted sn such repayment. Loans made from 2 to on far, or good pioductive town prine = prop In all e where the title is perfect, the sry slight to the borrower. As I th as Agent and Valuator for @ 0 If the title is perfect the money fad here ln. two Weeks after making on. m he JAMES, 1x roker, Parrish's Block, Cor; Brock and Bascom Ixbridge. 17, 1877. streets, U Uxbridge, M MONEY TO LOAN. The undersigned has any amount of Money to lend upon Farm and Town Property, at Unusually Low Rates of Interest! Loar& can be repaid in any manner to suit the borrower. Also several Tmproved Farms, and Wild Taands for sale; olicap. Investments made in Municipal Deben tures, Pank and other marketable Stocks. Apply to JAMES HOLDEN, Broker, &e. Whitby, April 10, 1873, NOTICE TO FARMERS & OTHERS MONEY TO LOAN. HT undersigned would say to the owners 1 of Real Estate, that he has in his hands a Tage amount of private funds which he is prepared to invest for perlods to sult borrow- ers--interest at eight per eent Expedition and most reasonable terme assured. 8. H. CHRISTIAN, Manchester, October 17, 18 MONEY TO LOADX rE HE Subscriber is prepared to lend money on improved property for terms from one to twenty years, Agent for Western CANapA Loan AND Savings COMPANY, He has also been instructed to invest a large amount of Private Funds. Inter.st Eight per cent, No Commission, N. F. PATERSON. Port Perry, May 20, 1878, it ol MONEY (Private Funds,] "'o Loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent in- terest. LYMAN ENGLISH, BARRISTER, &0., Oshawa November 21, 1868. 4 THE ONTARIO Farmers' Mutual Insuance Co'y, Head Office, Whitby, prepare and their con: and Churches. by applyi the local Brock St., Whitby. C. NOURSE, Seeretary. W. H. BROWNE, General Agent. EN PROPRIETOR. Subseriber having now fully e ul and extensive Livery ban 0 HE his new to fu rnish first class. | a supply of superior Horses and Carriiges, is pared 1 On Moderate Terms. ¢: MCKENZIE. Port Perry, Aug. 6, 1878 git - * dnd He-appointed Isster ses. Dost cities. Public, Farmers and oth doi in the Village and the ers doing business fin all that can be required in the matter of accommodation and moderation in charges. . y convenience and comfort of guests to make This Company is now fully organized and is d to accept risks on Farm Buildings tents, conntry School Houses Those wishing to insure and therchy support a Home Insurance Company have now an opportunity of doing so, either ng to the Head Office, or to any of Agents of the Company. Our rates will be found as low as those of any respofi- sible Mutual Insurance Company in Canada. Head Office--Opposite the Royal Hotel PORT PEAKY LIVERY STABLES Wien | & VERY RIGS hotels. i 4 wae Walker House, PORT PERRY. \HE Subscriber having leased th . hotel, it will be his ee to oe it in every particular so as to merit the approbation and patronage of the public, THE WALKER HOUSE whether for extent or quality of accomme- dations is equalled by few Hotels in the Province and surpassed by none out of the Commercial Travelers, the Traveling general public will in THE WALKER House [he Charges are No Higher at the 'Walker House than at any other Hotel in Town. The House is fitted up thoughout in FIRST" CLASS STYLE. The Tables and Bar supplied with the choice ot the market and RE wrioat Hors tion paid to the convenience and comfort of ALL GUESTS. _ No better stable and shed accommodation in the Province. Attentive hostlers. W. HASLAM. Port Perry, Dec. 4, 1879. pont PERRY HOUSE. The undersigned having leased for a term of years this comfortable, pleasantly located Hotel will endeavor by strict attention to the the Port Perry Horse a desirable place of entertainment for the general public. Choice supplies for the table and bar. The stable and yard carefully attehded to. JOHN RUDDY, Port Perry, Dec 9,1 . ((JOMMERCTAL HOTEL, The subscriber having succeeded Mr, wart in the Commercial Hotel, Williams- rg, Cartwright, intends fitting it up with g view to the vomfort and convenience of guests, The supplies for the table and bar care- fully selected, PETER HOLT. Cartwright, March 4, 1879. D» EVERE HOUSE, % MANCHESTER, by GEO. HOUCK. . Having leased the above excellent Hotel it will be my endeavor to conduct it in every particular so as to merit the appro- bation and patronage of the public, Matichester, Oct. 8, 1875. | Q Corner of Cameron and Laidlaw Sts, CANNINGTON, Ox, D. CAMPBELL, Proprietor This Hotel is now furnished 'in the best style, and offers c¥ery accommodation to travelers EENS HOTEL, ' p&@™ First class Sample Rooms, Livery attached, Cannington, Oct. 20, 1875. 43 A TOLO-AMEBRICAN HOTEL, PRINCE ALBERT. W. H. PARK, - - - PROPRIETOR. Having purchased the above pleasantly situated Hotel, 1 have thoroughly repaired and renovated the entire premises even to the Sheds. Theghotel has been furnished in First-Class Style and Stocked with the best Liquors and Cigars! guests, The tab.e and bar well supplied, : W. H. PARK. Prince Albert, June 12, 1875. J BUSTAONG HOUSE, (LATE ALBION) WHITBY, ONTARIO. BE. ARMSTRONG, PROPRIETOR. pe QuEEN '$s HOTEL, WHITBY, ONT. McCANN & TAYLOR, Proprierors. Every accommodation for the traveling public TIME TABLE No. 24. Taking eflect. Mondav, Nov 2, 1870. TORONTO TIME. Trains Going North. EXriuan, MATL. a V hithy. a y Hithy: June. GUT. Toronto, via G.T.R. {Flag stations--Trains stop on signal only W. H. McOAW. PORT PERRY, ONTARIO. McKenzies Gallery, Port Perry. As Strict attention paid to the comfort of HITBY, PORT PERRY & LINDS. RAILWAY. INEST rt. mn. | out or remove any | « ISSUER OF MARRIAGE LICENSE §, HOTOGRAPHS, only $1 per dozen, at k Your Druggist For Dr. Carson's old established and never X PORT 'PERRY 1 YHE undersigned would take this oppor« tunity of expressing their thanks for e very liberal patronage bestowed on them . and would beg to inform the public gener- that the latter travels without) =, Read it for yourself," said he, Yet all went well with them the while, aly ha they now enjoy greatly increased | money, and the former without She read: +I flee wi h M : to | Till at an fon of hitmble style, ig oe te aon brains.' Devs Es ht TE ph |The prudent Minister perceives. WORKMANSHIP and at « Where have you traveled ?' x gh ; y . ny Sheer symptoms of a den of thieves. LOWEST POSSIBLE PRICES, | ©All over the continent. or s moment. words Would Not Loe denerate cane," decided 1; 4 he « For what purpose ? come; then after a fir of 'laughter, | « Demands as desperate remedy. OUR G RANITE & MARBLE « Obssrvation: the suspected wife quietly remarked: | Chamber arid bed we well forego, Pillars, Monuments, 'Tomb Stones, and Tablets Are much admired by all who see them. As no agent is employed the expense is saved and customers get the advantage, Come and see us in our New Works near the Fonodgy. * [4 a ROSE & SHAW. Port Perry, March 21, 1880. FOR SALE The - Anglo-American Hotel PRINCE ALBERT. HE Undersigued offers for sale the above A well located Hotel, There are few more pleasant locations in the Province and by a fair share of attention a good business may be done, The premises are large and commodious and in a capital state of repair both within and without. The Stables, Yard, and Sheds are all in good order, It is situate in the centre of the village and connected with Port Perry by a good side walk and on the thor are of traffic of parties passing to or from Port Perry east, west or south, > For particulars apply to al h fi h h al W. H. PARK, Proprietor, | 8 it Prince Albert, March 17, 1880. ---- Rs etme FOR SALE! lowing Valuable Properties on terms to |. suit purchasers A good House and Lot i Port Perry, being Mo. 164, west side Union | Avenue, The house is two stories high and | J contains eight rooms. 'There are alto on the ! | premises a good Stable, Woodshed, a Well | of good Water and some fine fruit trees, Also a Park Lotin Port Perry, being pats of Nos. 17 aud 18; containing 7 acres of choice land in a good state of cultivation. property on easy terms. For particulars, apply JAN to IES EMANEY, Port Perry, March 31, 1880. IMPROVED ¥ARM LANDS, MILL PROPERTY, &C., | FOR SALE! ----BY ---- | Private Contract, The following Lands situated in the | Townships of Reach and Uxbridge, | are offered for Sale ut Low Prices for cash or upon short terms of payment. PARCEL 1.--Containing 200 Acres, 1s com- sed of Lois Nos, | and 2 in the 8th con. | cession, and the East parts of Lots Nos. 1 and 2, in the 7th concession of Uxbridge, upon this | reel there are an Orchard, a large Frame | ywelling House, and commodious outbuild- ings; the land is nearly all cle ared, and is al very desirable farm. PARCEL 2.--Containing about 200 Acres, is | com posed of parts of Lots Nos. 1, 2, and 3, in 7th concession of Uxbridge, the greater por- tion of which is cleared. Upon this parcel | there are large Barns, Stables and Sheds, good Dwelling House accommodation, and an abundance of spring water constantly run- ning, making it very suitable forStock raising. PARCEL 8.--Consists of what is known as the Glen Major Grist Mill, together with the water power and privileges properly belong- ing thereto. A quantity of land in connection may also be obtained. PARCEL 4.--Embraces the North-half of Lot 14, In the Gth concession of Reach, 100 aores; none of which is cleared. PARCEL 5.--Contains 178 acres, being Lot No. 15, in the 7th concession of Reach, about B30 neros are elearad and the balance is heavily timbered. There is a good frume Barn on this pal PA psed of the South-half i 4, 6.~I8 com of Lot No. 18, in the it} 100 acres, a small portion of which 1s cleared. ARCEL 7.--110 acres, part of Lot No. 21, in the 10th concession of Reach, upon which is a Jot of valuable timber; and several acres under eultivation, All the above la: will be sold with as Intending purchase reel. CEL nds are in the market and little delay as possible.-- rs will not be confined to the various parcels and divisions as set forth, but. ean purchase such portions as they may desire, and at prices to suit the times, For Juror particulars and information apply op THE MANAGER. $ ONTARIO BANK, and H. IRDON, Port Perry; or J. A. MCGILLIVARY, Oct. 8th, 1870. Barrister, Uxbridge. N. B. All persons are strictly forbidden to timber from off the above lands. A COMFORTABLE RESIDENCE FOR SALE. T HE undersigned offurs for sale a most desirable property on Cochrane Street, Port Perry, four lots with a Comfortable Dwelling House and Stable, a good bearing Orchard of choice fruit, hard and soft water, with every other necessity convenience. For further particnlars apply to the pro- prictor on the premises or at the Dominion Planing Mills, Port Perry. D. W. TAYLOR. Mach 24, 1880. A RR Rucklen's Arnica Salve. hb best Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruises, Sowes, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, 'Hands, Chilblaing, Corns, tions. 4 Marriage Licen td a oso Under the Tow jy _Qffice, lot 10, in the fine & Tr : ar. I give perfect satisfaction ih way case or! nition : t Brock. 2 TLA money refunded, Price 25 cen! a * : : : mer Ave, 5,184. 88 Agent, A, pA AND EE Ei Allison, Port Perrys A noble lord, as prond and fond as liovse-radish. police court: The Vagabond Sage. An old mati df very active physi: ognomy answering to the name of John Wilmot, was brought to the is dlothes looked as if they might have beén bought sec- ond-hand in his youthfal prime for they had suffered more from the rubs of the world than the proprietor MARBLE WORKS ! et business ? : --AT-- * «None; I'am a traveler.' « A vagabond, perhaps ?' . _--_ ---- wes - - - as a man should boof his beautiful young wife, was just about rising to speak in a debate, when a telegram was put into his bands. He read it left the House, jumped into a cab, drove to Charing Cross, and took the train for Dover- Next day he returned home, rushed into his wife's room, and finding her there upbraided the astonished lady in no measured terms. She protested her ignorance of having Hone afiything to offend him. Travel| Then what "did you mean by A Sultan, hearing that steed, Unmatched in beauty, strength and | Grazed somewhere in remote Cathay, Fearful that the prize might slip away, Resolved his Vigier to require To win with Hassan, faithfal squire, And close the bargain there and then, At first, so scribes of credit pen, Scathless the high commission 5 In quest of that rare quadruped. 3 Like Cmsar vanquishing the East, 5 They came, they saw, they bought the beast; But, this achieved, with much t They found it next to be disp How Dest to them it might pd enn, ers and vagabonds are just about the same thing: The difference 18 will preach short sermons; # good writer that will not write too much ; medicine while he has the use of his trickster to office. which has personal qualifications |ed a warrant for a cert: (HE undersigned offers for Sale the fol- man buxom stand and swore that he sat up with [threw it ¢ | her from This is a rare chance of securing valuable [nti] broad daylight next morn- |. "You are not far wrong. « What have you observed. «A little to commend, much to ensure and a great deal to langh t.! " Humph ! what to commend ? "A handsome woman who will stay t home ? an eloquent preacher that nd a fool that has sense enough to old his tongue. " What do you censure ?' "A man that marries a girl for ne clothing ; a youth who studdies ands ; and the people who elect a " What do you laugh at?' "1 laugh at a man whe expects is position to command that respect nd qualities do not merit.' He was discharged. 'Where Sarah Was. your telegram ?' he asked, What are you talking about ?" "Mean ? What I snid of course Not less in stealing steeds than selling ; «Oh those dreadful telegraph people! No wonder you are ou of your mind dear. I telegraphed simply, 'I tea with Mrs,----in Dover street. Stay for me." ; King John of Saxony was prone to drop in upon officials when they least expected him, One day he appeared at the telegraph office of a small statiod. The clerk apprised his colleague at the next station of the unwelcome visit, and before an acknowledgement of the warning cirité was called upon to enlighten the enquiring monarch respecting the business of his office, Presently a message came along the wires, and his Mujesty desired to bd acquainted | with its purport. He was told it wis unimportant ; but was not to be put off, and insisted upon the mets ge' being repeated to him ; so the stam- mering clerk had no choice but. to regale the royal ears with the Ger- man equivtlent for: the King pokes his nose into everything." If King John was annoyed by tho impertin- 1 8 1 "« " ¥ I A Wayne County farmer had ome wheat stolen, and he was so ure that hé knew who the thief was, hat he came into Detroit and secur-| ain young | living near him. use camo up for trial in Justice alley, the defendant said he could | €8 srovo an alibi. In order to do this ve had broaght in his "girl," luss of 22: She took the 7 o'clock in the eveming ing. « People can vory easily be mis- wrietor. ' yom Fropristor taken," ubserved the plaintiff's law- yer. «I don't care--I know be was thee." she replied. " What did you talk about ?" "Love!" she promptly answored. «what time did the old folks go to bed ?" « J gave'em the wink about 10. «Sure he was thera at midnight, are you ?" "Yes, sir." "Why are you sure " She blushed, lookrd over to her | lover and-laughed, and gotting a nod to go ahead, she said : « Well, sir, just as the clock striick 12, the old man jumped out ot bed, up stairs, and hollered down : ¢ Sarah yer mar wants some o' that catnip [tea And we got such a start that wo broke the back of the rocking- chair and went over backwards kerplunk ?" «Then the jury must understand that you were scated on Samuel's knee ?" « J object," put in Samuel's lawyer and His Honor remembered thedays of his youth und sustained the objection: SS ---------- Telegraphic Vagaries. and expressing her hope that the ex ignez le bien" (take good caro of In his last annual report the Post by the assurance vived all righ,' scan When the !anco at Balmoral, a littl When the hsws cate of the revol ution in Turkey and the deposition of AbdulAziz,QueenVictotia itis said lost no time in interfering in his be= half by telegraphing to Constatinople Sultan would not be subjected to any violence or ill-treatment. "So- him) said her Majesty; but the noz le bien" (bleed him well) ; and how they bled him all the world knows. The story isnot impossible. Mastor-General owns that a poor woman telegraphing to a relative, «Mary is bad," had her message rendered "Mary is dead"; and that a pleasurs party wishing te# advise their friends at home of their safety that they bad "ar- dalized the anxi- ence he had to thank himself for it. Such was hardly the case with the late Earl Russel. One evening when he wus tho Minister in attend- oat, handed a tel-|E 1 [ buried in a great ¢ ram addressed to one of the Min- listers in London, to the telegraph | clerle on the Deeside railway. The lerk, after 'glancing at the message, ontemptously back with, put your name to it. Its a pity | your master does not know how to send a telegram." The name was added. 'Why, you can't write !'-- | exclaimed the clerk, after vainly trying to make something out of the gnature. "What's your name?' " My name?" said the messenger-- « My name is John Russel," That clerk was transferred to an- other office Yefore many days pass- ed, Writing of the difficulty English engineers experienced in making | educated Persians understand the} working of the electric telegraph, Mr. Mounsey says: "Much of the time of one of our officers was oeen- pied during several weeks in attempt- ing to enlighten the mind of a pro- vincinl governor, who had got it into his head that the wires wero hollow tubes, and that mess- ages were transmitted through thom as in the pneumatic post. In vain was the whole apparatus shown to his Highness; in vain even all its parts explained and re-explained-- he stuck to his idea; and it was only by the suggestion of the following simile that he was ut last induced to relinquish it and declare himself sitisfied. "Imagine," suid the officer, «a dog whozo tail is here at Teheran, and his muzzle in London ; tread on his tail here and he will bark there." A droll mistake was made by an immaginative old dame who having permitted a telegraph poleto be placed on the top of her house, wait- ed upon the chief of the telegraph company concerned that she could get no sleep at night, being kept awake by the noise made by t he messages passing over ber head. i | think, sir,' said she "gon can be aware of all that is said along them wiros. There's a dedl that hadn't ought tb be. T can assure you, sir, that very much that's said there, that 1 have to lie and listeri to, is such as no decent woman ought to hear ; and I hope you will put a 'stop to it." Tho amused gentleman was hardly able to meet the aceunsation with due gravity; but did contrive to keep bis countenance while he in- formed the old lady that the young men who hitherto worked the wires wets under notice of dismissal; and | ¢ si | { cruel telegraph made her say "Saig gréat respectability would he em. To bring him home, or if at all. The natives of those parts excelling (not missing much by doing so In this vile hovel), and, of course; Sleep on the straw beside the horse § That is to say, that I shall sleep, While, Hassan, thou strict wateh will kee Yet, as mortality fs frail And Bleeps's Seductions might prevail, To muse on some momentous theme, Fromage to age, nor e'er resolves. Can it in #iny manner be ? Affirmed that two and two make three? Do geese their origin deduce F Rapt in such studies, twill be odd He ceased, but soon awaking, cried, What is the color of the wind." The Vizier thus, then slept again; Devising, if a hole immense Were dug, and earth extracted thence Employed to fill the monstrous main. How best to fill the hole again." " Good," said the Vizier, « here is stuff For cogitation quantum suff," And turned him and contented slept And quiet for a season kept, Till, stung by sofiie uneasy dream, 0 old man | Starting, he cried, « Hast thou a theme, Touching the bridle pnd the saddie~ Whether 'twere best to let them stay, Or strive to tarry them away, { Or if to watch them here, while you The predatory rogues ptirsue." won't. work are never done. wo have seen a raisin box, a fig dram and an apple stand #11 day on the corner of the street. . lenid he, looking over her shoulder i charge thee, lest thou idly dream, uch as Philosophy revolves rom eggs or comes the egg from goose ? f thou has any mind to nod." Hassan, how art thon occupied 7" Sir," Hassan said, "I strive to find A meet gymnastic for my brain :" jut presently was heard to call : Ho, Hassan | ponderest thou at all ! trust to Allah 'tis the fact." Sir," answered he, my brain is racked; 1assan, und ponderest thou thereon ?" « 8ir ," said the man, © the horse iy géne { And now in sooth my brains I addle er -- 5 Where there's a will there's 4 ------------ ten Womans' work and tho tramf's en The habits of truit are peculiar: et 8 eee. «Yin look good enongh to ent," into the mirror. ** Food for reflection; sho replied without a smile, et --e « Ah me," said a pious old lady, «our minister was a powerful preacher ; for the short time he miu- istered the word of God among us he knocked thein'ards out of five bibles." -- s Cattle Spice is put up in pound packages, and is just the medici wanted at any season of the year for hb cattle, sheep or pigs. It cleanses the blood, tones up the system, and bpens out the water pussage, giving relish for food, rapidly im- proying the condition of the animal tediwith it. A purely vegetable preparation ; 25 cents a package. Sod by all Druggists aud dedlers. Hagyard' -- er ---- At en examination of medical students who had gone up for their degree : -- First Examiner-- Guess wo ought to pluck about half of these fellows. I never saw such an ignorant lof' Second examiner--"Ssh | Tet's pass them: They'!l have to call us in for con- sultution I" 45 'Worth trying. Couns For A Coven --Ground flax-seed and finest pearl barley, ofeach one henpi tablespoonful ; of pulverized licorice-ront, one heaping tablespoonfal ; of best loaf-sugar one-quarter of a pound ; place all in | earthen vessel ; pour on one qnart of ng water ; cover tightly until cool, and it frequently. It should be made every 12 hours, i A fellow stopped at a hotel in tieadville and the landlord" 3 him seven dollars a day for five « Didn't you make a miat "No," said the landlord. "Yes, did; you thought you got money 1 hui, : are m [ bave a whole p pocket.' that in futurs only young women of | cna) Tetter, Chapped and all kinds of This Salve 1s guaranteed to ous ones with the sdnnouncement; «wo have arrived all tight". But many jokes are perpetrated by the wire without receiving official recog- ployed, so. of herp longer.--Ez. SN ey mew Agreat himbug--turaip di there would be no dunger riety being shocked any 3, guint Powders.