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He Mads Him Quit. Recorder (to prisoner)--How do you live ¥ Prisoner--I ain't particular, as the oyster said when they asked whether he'd be roasted or fried. Recorder--We don't want to hear what the oystter said. What do you follow ¥ Prisoner=-- Anything that comes in my way, as the locomotive said when it ran over a man, Recorder we care nothing about the locomotive. What is your business! Prisoner--That's various, as the cat said when she stole the chicken, Recorder--That comes nearer to the line, I suppose 1 A Little Daughter Of a Church of England minister cured of a distressing rash, by Ayer's Barsaparilla, Mr. RICHARD Prisoner-- Altogether in my line, Birxs, the well-known Druggist, 207 | as the rope said when choking the McGill st., Montreal, P. Q., says: pirate, Recorder--If I hear any more ab- surd comparisons, I will twelve months. Prisoner--I'm done, as the beef- steak said to the cook. I have sold Ayer's Family Medicines _ $0940 years, and have heard nothing bus good said of them. I know of many Wonderful Cures give you summi ¥ com and I kept getting 'worse until the pain almost unbeurable, but after I had ne the first dose of Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry I found great relief and it did not fuil to cure me. distress about the case, and, at my recommendation, at last began to ad- minister Ayer's Sarsaparilla, two bot- sles of which effected a complete cure, uch to her relief and her father's delight. I am sure, were he here to-day, he would testify in the strongest terms 8s to the merits of Ayer's Sarsaparilla Wu, T. Gryxx, Wilfrid, Ont, The Friend -- Her face is her fortune The . Enemy--How interesting |-- Made it herself, too, didn't she 1 a ARE NOT a Pun Prepared by Dr.J.C. Ayer k Co., Lowell, Mass. WE eative Mod 4 { Cures others, willcureyou Boon Bumoen * Are you going ug to the fair, Tom- kins ¥' * No." "Oh. you ought to go, finest show that ever was. It's the i ' ® Ka 3 1 = 2 8 z 3 = g '1 know it.' D and ¢Oan't you afford to got down by overwork, tal dis * Yes! Sxoceses and Indiscre. * Can't you get away T' 4 a ' Yes. he SEXUAL SYSTEM of "Then why in thunder don't you | oF I've been.' 'Who finds his mental fao- i aull | ot 3 Salling. x e860 EVE A man read in a paper thatthe family table should always be the scene of laughter and merriment and that no meal should be passed in moody silence that so often characterizes th se oecasions, The i len struck him | so favorably that when his family was | ®athered around the table that even- | ing he said: * Now, this sort of thing of keeping | #0 mum at meals has got to stop. You hear me! You girls put in and tell stories and keep up some agreeable kind of talk, an you boys laugh and be jolly, or I'll take an cust your jackets with a stick till you can't stand. Now hi VERY Hil Angi Pius, They will Ee a both physical and mental ghould take them. EYERY WOMAN : They curs all sup pressions and irregulariti joh inevitably entail sickness when neglected. YOU EN should take these Prrrs. They will oure the re sults of youthful bad habits, and strengthen "Youne WOMEN ake them regular, For sale by all druggists, or will be sent upon Ear of price (30c. per box), by hdr ? MED. O THE DE. WILLIAMS 00. should take them These Prurs will Life is Short I--Ger your gye sight TESTED, improved or RESTORED OONTRAOTORS ELEOTRIO LIGHT AND POWER STATIONS A LOCAL PRESS ET Tr finest re-crystalized Bi-Carbonate of Soda on! THE ROYAL ELECTRIC CO.|T Are and Incandescent Electric Lighting, Electric Motors and Generators. AND BUILDERS OF" THROUGHOUT THE DOMINION. 80 TO 70 WELLINGTON ST. THE BEST N . IN THE WORLD IS THE APERFECT ARTICLE. TATE BAKING POWDER . The purest quality of Cream Tartar, sed in this preparation. as iood Al Fi Fou ousekeepers for ie L years, and is now (if possihle) be FAVORITE AND RENOWNED BRANDS MONTERO, UNIO No J ACK, TOM SAWYER. For Sale Everywhere. PENNINGTON & CO., MONTREAL. CAFFAROMA The Finest Pure Cround Coffee In the World. Sold in Tins only. If you cannot get it at your nearest grocer, send postal card direct to Acme Mills, Montreal, who will mail immediately free trial sample to the address given. FOR THE HAIR The great success and reputation that LUBY'S PArISIAN HAIR REXEwER has obtained proves it has no equal for restoring hair to its natural color, and from its balsamic properties strengthens thegrowth of the hat moving all dandruff, and leaves the scalp clean and healthy, Bold by all Druggists, 50c. a Bottle Success the Test of Worth I1! begin.' The glare he sent around the table | made the family as funny as a funeral. Maud--Cbolly almost proposed to me last night. Ethel --Really 1 | by buying your SPECTACLES at Digs reLD's, We sell Spectacles which wiry give comfort and strength to your Eye anespreserve it. NO glimmering diz Maud--Yes. He said, ' Maud, I|the Bows of which are stamped in love you I' gold with the name "Boss" and the Ethel--Pshaw! That shows how [number of spectacle. No better spec little you know about men! | tacles made. Forty dozen of spectacles | to select from; from 25 cents up to $6, AT DIESFELD'S For Over Fifty Years, Mgrs, Winsrow's Soornise Syrup has been used by millions of mothers for their children while teething. If disturbed at night and broken of your rest by a sick = | child suffering and crying with pain of Cut The most efficacious prineiples in the | ting Teeth send at once and get a bottle of waters of the celebrated mineral springs |" Mrs, Winslowls Soothing Syrup" for of the world, the Spa, Baden-Baden, | Children Teething. - It will relieve the poor Kissingen, etc., are as really present little sufferer immediately. Depend upon L . it, mothers, there is no mistake about it and helpful in these pills as they can | 1 cures Diarrhoea, regulates the Stomach be anywhere. Exhausted nerve energy | and Bowels, eures Wind Colic, softens the is by them restored. Druoggists and Gums, reduces Inflammation, and gives tone dealers, or mail Price 50 crs., six for and energy to the whole system, *'Mrs y by » Winslow's 'Soothing Syrup" for children §2.50. The Celery Iron Pill Co., To- teething is pleasant to the taste and is the | ronto, Ont. prescription of one of the oldest and best female physicians and nurses in United Begorra, isn't that a man dhrown- din out beyant there, just fornist my finger ¥' * Be jabers, but I think your right, man aloive I' ' Well, phwhy don't yez jump in an make an effort to save him 1 "That's aisy talkin, but who's goin to jump in an save me ¥' States. Price twenty-five cents a bottle. Sold by all druggists throughout the world. Be sure and ask for " Mrs, WiNsLow's SoorninG Syrue." Methodist Church. REV. L. W. HILL, Sabbath Services, 10:50 and 7 Week Evening Service. Thursday 7:30. * Do you put your watch and pocket Strangers welcome and o onducted to seats. book under your pillow every night? |= 'No, I do better than that ; I put them in the pocket of my wife's dress.' B A,, Pasron. "Church of the Ascension, REV. MR. FL. R10 HER, Pastor. Sunday Services, 10:30 and 6:30. Week Ev vening service, Thursday, 7:30. Bt. "John's Church. (PRESBYTERIAN) Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry is a reliable remedy that can always be depended on to cure cholera, cholera infantum, colic, cramps, diarrhea, dysentery, and all looseness of the bowels. It is a pure Extract of Wid Stra: REV. RICHARD WHITEMAN, B.A, PAasTo Sabbath Services, 10:30 and 7, Weck Fvoning Service, Thursday Baptist O Church. 0. REV. MR. CAMERON, Pasron. Sabbath Servi 10:30 and 6:30, Week Evening Thaursday, :30. 13 S71 TRS IN ATION. EE DICTIONARY ziness, or any distressing sensat.on with the so called "Bogs" SprcTaoLes, PILLS mv mp OINTMENT THIS UNIVERSAL MEDICINE IS A HOUSEHOLD REQUISITE [ EVERYWHERE. | EES PURIFY THE OOD, impart tone to th M NERVOUS SY , and act most power fully yet soothingly on the LIVER 'AND BOWELS, promoting DIGESTION and assimilation, ant endowing the whole bodily frame witl STRENGTH and vigour. Nervous Head | aches, Tremblings with Lassitude and | GENERAL DEBILITY quickly yield to the| | potent force of these well-known Pills, and they are unrivalled in their efficacy in all FEMALE COMPLAINTS, removing all obstructions, skin blemishes pimples and boils, better than any othér family med:cine known. HAS A WORLD-WIDE REPUTATION, It heals every kind of SORE, ULCER and WOUND more certainly than any other known salve. Its marvellous penetrating powers render it invaluable in all THROAT AND CHEST DISEASES, curing Bronchitis, Quinseys, and Asthma, re- ducing Glandular Lumps, closing and healing ABSCESSES and FISTULAS, and for alle- viating the excruciating tortures of RHEUMATISM, GOUT, ind NEURALGIA it is unsurpassed. It never ails to remove Scurfl and every species of ikin disease. The Pills and Ointment are Manufactured only at 78, New Oxford St. (late 533, Oxford St.) London ; And are sil hin thrwughout the ni Bros. Planing Mills PORT PERRY. HE Subscribers beg to announce the they are vow prepared to manufactura T DOORS, SASH, BLINDS, CASINGS, STAIRS, STAIR RAILS, ~ STAIR Insc, BANNISTERS, NEUE MOULDINGS, &C.," ALL THE LATEST STYLES IN FANCY FENCE PICKETS Tanks and Cistern Tubs made to order. Ho freight saved. In stock, fine brands, Wines Prices to suit the times. Ac 4 Parcels delivered to say py ester, free of charge. Port Stock. furnis| able. Oharl OVAL HE Undersigned b store in the *'DIA and has largely increased WINES AND LI telkeepers sup Perry, April 8 NEW FURNITURE | The Subscriber wishes to return thanks to his customers for thie liberal support since the fire, and is better prepared to furnish all requiring anything ir the Furniture line, good and chea; Just arrived a splendid framing and all kinds of frames. My Undertaking Department is replete with everything necessaryfor Charges reason- hing Funerals. Saop--One door West of the St, es Hotel. Ex. A call solicited. Port Perry, 18, 1803, b that he has removed his business to that fine K"--one door eastof Diesfeld's Jewelery Store-- QUORS s fine assortment, in all lines, and Retail ! bat Toronto and Montreal Prices-- fiquors for Medicinal Purposes, olicited. pf the Corporation, or to Prince Albert and Manck M. WILLIAMS. NEW PRICES 1 respectfully invite inspection of my ot Gilt and Marble Mouldings for picture eA davis Oal IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF -FURNITUREX- IT WILL PAY YOU TO His Stock is complete in every Department, Prices that cannot be Shaded | examine my Stock and you will be convinced that for Quality Style and Finish our Furniture is unsurpassed. 1 and Plush. A cordial invitation is extended to all to visit my Establishment Whitey, Jan. 15, 1889, which he offers at e A large stock of Upholstered Chairs, and Ottomans, in Silk, Velvet and » E. J JOHNSON, "omic | ANNOUNCEMENT | {NewBrickEstablishment HE takes much pleasure in public that he has now well arranged | Tee extensive, 'where his superior and tly increased facilities for business will em ous to all doing business with him, With many thanks for very extensive and still increasing 5 Patronage. need scarcely remind the public that my Approved Oven has all the latest improvements ana does its work to perfection, The public may rely on an unlimited supply of CHOICE BREAD. Every variet of FANCY BREAD, CHOICE Port Perry Sep. 9, 1801. Lake Ontario | Steamboat Gy. ST EA A ™ ER NORTH KING. Nw, Fast Axp ELkCTRIC-LIGHTED. DAILY FOR ROCHESTER. On and atter Monday, May 1st, will leave Cobourg at 8,00 a.m., Port Hope atd.46 a.m.,on arrival of G. T. BR. Traine. Arrives at Charlotte at 2.20 p m, Returning, leaves Charlotte at 11.15 p.m , except Tuesday st 6.454 m., and Satnrday at 4.16 p.m. ar. pe at 6.30 a.m., (Saturday at 9.00 p.m.) Will call at Colborne on Wednesday and Fri day at 4.00 a.m., and Brighton on Monday and Wed. nesday at 2.00 a mi. Ask your local agent for Through any point on_the N, ¥. O., Penn. R. Ri, Lehigh Vale ley, ut Shore, R. W. ® 0, D. L. &W, B.R. & P. WwW. N, P., and Mave Baggage Checked Ee C. F, GILDERSLEEVE, jen. Manager, Kingston, Tiek: ©. H. NICHOLSON. Gen. Pass. Agt, Port Hope. CONFECTIONERY, &G:| == -BR + OAK] : I 1s lneuat to th Tut 2 th Ewsoset Rota It is Safe and Harmless as the This wonderful Nervine Tonic has Pupout ly been introduced into this country by the Lropristore and ret the Great South American Nervine Tonic, and yet its great value as a curative agent has long been known by a few of the most learned physicians, who have not brought its merits and value to the knowledge of the general p ublic. This. medicine has completely solved the problem of the cure of indie ia, and diseases of the nervous system. - It is Eistion: ria value in the cure of all forms of 201 failing health 5 whatever cause. It performs this by the great mervine tonic qualities which it possesses, and by its great curative li th a vigams, the Stomuch; the ver and the nderfully valuable N Tonic, Almost constantly, for the space of two or three i carry them safely over the danger. This great st hener and curas tive is of inestimable value to the aged and infirm, because its energizing properties will give them a new hold on life. It will add ten or fifteen years to the lives of many of those who will use a half dozen bottles of the remedy each year. "IT IS A GEA REMEDY FOR THE CURE OF Nervousness, Broken Constitution, Nervous Prostration, Debility of Old Age, Nervous Headache, Indigestion and Dyspepsia, Sick Headache, Heartburn and Sour Stomach, Female Weakness, 'Weight and Tenderness in Stomach, * Nervous Chills, a Loss of Appetite, Paralysis, Frightfal Dreams, Nervous Paroxysms and Dizziness and Ringing in the Ears, Nervous Choking, 'Weakness of Extremities and Hot Flashes, Fainting, Palpitation of the Heart, Impure and Tmpoverished Blood, Mental Despondency, Boils and Carbuncles, Oanadian Pacific Railway. ONTARIO DIVISION rains willleave Myrtle as follows GOING WEST. -- ' " 5:58 a. m, 8:25 a. m, 7:06 p. m. 10:36 a.m 7:06 pom 1:06 p.m A. J. DAVIS, Agent, Port Perry . i GOING EAST PATENTS, ¥ 4d i o CavEaTES AND Re-issUns secured, TRADE. Mats registered and all other patent causes in the Patent and before the Courts promptly and carefully - cuted. t on rocalpt of model or sketch of invention, 1 make careful examination, and advise as to patenta- bility free of charge, Main offices directly across from the Patent Office, and attention is specially called to my perfect and ong established facilities for making prompt prelim- inary searches, for the moat vigorous. and successful prosecution of applications tor patent, and for attend- ing to all business entrusted to my care, in the shortest possible time. Rejected enken a specilalty. FLES MODERATE, and exclusive attention given to patentbusiness, Book of information and advice, and special references sent without charge upon re- quest. J. BR. LITTELL, Solicitor and AStomey in Patent Causes, asuingtam, DL: Opposite U.S. office, Mention this paper.) 6 Clipping and Trine The undersigned begs to inform the public that he is prepared to Clip and Trin (in Old Country and other styles, all horses en trusted to him. Orders left at Mr. 8. Graham's Blacksmith Shop will received immediate attention, Charges moderate, Satisfaction Guarant. B.. F. CRANDELL. Port Port, Sept. 21, 1892. DRESSMAKI NC. MISS NELLIE CAMERON Fine Stock Fine Jewelry--liatest Styles and Patterns. FINE GOLD W ATOHES- Tatest Styles in Cases. Forty dozen SPECTACLES and EY E-GLASSES, from 25 ots to $6. REGULATORS and CLOgKS in great variety. Everything jesfeld's Diamond Hall JUST OPENED OUT A The Latest Styles in Ladies' and Gent's CHAINS, CHARMS, BUTTONS Warranted as Represented. PPP PPP PP PPP TITTY YO PLLA A 97 Begs to intimate to the Ladies of Port Perry and vicinity that she is prepared to do Dressmaking in the latest and best style, Having taken a course in Cutting of one of the most expert Dress aud Mantle Cutters in the Dominion she feels confident that all orders entrusted to her cannot fail to please her patrons, A staffof competent assis- tants steadily engaged. Rooms at the residence of her father, Caleb street. Port Perry, June 30, 1892, JOHN NOTT, UNDERTAKER, and Funeral Director, PORT PERRY. TWO DCOIRABLE RESIDENCES FOR SALE. The unders od offers for Bale two Samioriatle dences in Prince Albe) For BY tisilasannly to J: BAIRD Prince Albert, April 14, 1886, |For. Sale vy Sleeplessness, Scrofula, St. Vitus' Dane: Bcrofulous Swellings and Uleers, Nervo of Females, Consumption of the Lungs, Nervousness of Old Age, Catarrh of the Lungs, 'Neuralgia, Bronchitis and Chronic Cough, Pains in the Heart, Pains in the Back, Failing Health, Liver Complaint, Chronic Diarrhea, Delicate and Borelulons Children, Summer Complaint of Infants, All these and many other complaints cured by this wonderful Nervine Tonic. NERVOUS DISEASES. As a cure for every class of Nervous Diseases, no remedy has been able to compare with the Nervine Tonic, which is very pleasant and harmless in all its effects upon the youngest child or the oldest and most delicate individual. Nine-tenths of all the ailments to which the human family is heir are dependent on nervous exhaustion and impaired di tion. When there is an insufficient supply of nerve food in the bl general state of debility of the brain, spinal marrow, and nerves is the result. Starved nerves, like starved muscles, become strong when the right kind of food is supplied; and a thousand weaknesses and ailments disappear as the nerves recover, As the nervous system must supply all the power by which the vital forces of the body are carried on, it is the first to suffer for want of perfect nutrition. Ordinary food does not con- tain a sufficient quantity of the kind of nutriment necessary to the wear our present mode of living and labor imposes upon the nerve For this reason it becomes necessary that a nerve food be supp This South American Nervine has been found by analysis to cont : esgential elements out of which nerve tissue is formed. This accounts = for ite universal adaptability to the cure of all forms of nervous de- rangement. CrAwPORDSVILLE, Txp., Aug. 20, "86. To the Great South American Medicine Co DEAR GENTS! --] desire to say to you that have suffered for many years with a very serious disease of the stomach and nerves. - I tried every medicine I could hear of, but nothing done ne any appreciable good until I was advised to try your Great South Amorican Nervine Tonic and Stomach and Liver Cure, and since using several bottles of it I must say that Iam sur- prised at Its wonderful powers to cure the stom- ach and general nervous system. ol everyone edy as I do you wou al as Pea ld0y few bottes of it has cured me completely. K J; A. Hapnrr + ~~mory Co, | consider it the rrandest modic'n~tn the world.'J A SWORN CURE FOR ST. VITAS' DANCE OR CHOREA. CRAWFORDSVILLE, IND., June 22, 1887, daughter, eleven years old, was severely afflicted with St. Vitug' Dance or i We gave her three and one-half botties of South American Ner- yjue and she is completely restored. 1 believe it will cure every case of St. Vitus' Dance, I have kept it in my family for two years, and am sure it is the greatest remedy in the world for Indigestion and Dyspepsia, and for al} forms of Nervous Disorders and Failing Health, from whatever cause: State of Indiana, Jas: Jorn T. MISH. Montgomery County, Bubscribed and sworn to before me this June 22, 1887, CHAS. W. WRIGHT, Notary Publioy INDIGESTION AND DYSPEPSIA. The Great South American Nervine Tonic Which we now offer you, is the only absolutely unfailing remedy ever discovered for the cure of Indigestion, Dyspepsia, and the vast train of mptoms and horrors which are the result of disease and debility of the human stomach. No person can afford to pass by this jewel of incal- culable value who is affected by disease of the stomach, because the ex- perience and testimony of many go to prove that this is the oxE and oNLY ONE great cure in the world for this universal destroyer. There is no case of unmalignant disease of the stomach which can resist the wonderful curative powers of the South American Nervine Tonic. Harmer BE. Hav, of Waynetown, Ind, says: "1 owe my iife to the Great South American Nervine. I had been In bed for five months from the effects of an exhausted stomach, Ini ndigestion, Resrcoa WILKINSON, of Brownevalley, Tnd., says: "I had been in a distressed condition for three years from Nervousness, Weakness of the Stomach, Dyspepsia, add Indigestion, until my health was gone. I had been doetorisg cone stantly, with no relief. I bought one bottle of South American Nervine, which done me more good than any $50 worth of dottoring I ever did fn my life. would advise every weakly pere son to use this valuable and lovely remedy ; & Ei "1 cannot express how much I owe to the Narvine Tonle. My system was comfiletely shat< tered, appetite gone, was coughing and spitting about six months, and I| is the grandest remedy for nerves, stomach and have ever seen." FEED # compares with 80UTH AMERICAN NERVINE a8 a cure for the Norves, ith Aaerican Nervine as a wondrous cure for the Stomach South American Norvine a4 ne a cure for all forms of fallin, cure Ch or St. A. J. DAVIS, Port