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ar = --_-- « < ~ A . scription taken for less than six» rua Lindsay, YOL.X, No. 21} Cr "PRINCE ALBERT, COUNTY OF ONTARIO, C. The Lntario Whseher, A WEEKLY POLITICAL, AGRICULTURAL, ad ii AND FAMILY NEWSPAPER, 18 PUBLISHED AT THE VICTORIA BLOCK, PRINCE ALBERT, COUNTY OF ONTARIO, EVERY THURSDAY MORNING, BAIRD & PARSONS, TERMS : -- 81.60 per mumess, 1f paid within six months; if not paid within that e, $2.00. Nosub. mths ; and as Ire are pa ret al Leiter containing money, when addressed 10 his Office, pre-peid and registered, will be at our risk. RATES OF ADVERTISING. For each line, first insertion - - . $0.08 Subsequent insertions, per line - - . 0.02 Cirds, under 6 lines, per annum -", 5,00 Advertisements measured in Nonpareil and charged wecording to the space they occupy. Advertisements received for publication, withoutspe- hi cific instructions, will be inserted until forbid, nnd charged accordingly. Noadveitisement will be taken vat until pai Aliberal discountallowed to Merchauts and others yi ar, - ich isto promote J 1 or company, 10 he considered an advertisement, and charged accord- ingly. #1= These terms will, in all cases, be <tictly ad- het dio, The constantly increasing importance of the North Riding ofOmario rendersthe publieation ofthe Opskrven a necessity. Ever advoeating right, and eondemning wrong, it will constantly take the lead in forwarding the general int 5 of the county; nnd in the amount sf local and general news given, will be nusurpassed by aay local paper published in Canada. JOB DEPARTMENT. Pawiphlets, Hand Bills, Posters; Programmes, Bill leads, Blank Forms, Receipt Books, Check Books. Circulars, Business Cards, Bull Cards, &e , &e., of every style and color, executed promptly, and at lower vutes than at any other establishment in this county. Parties from a distance getting hand bills, &e,, printed have them done 10 take home with them. > J. BAIRD. | H. PARSONS, : Business Divectory. DR. JONES, Ce ONER for the County of Ontario, ince Albert. DR. WARE, NORONER for the County of Ontario, 4G Physician, Surgeon and A Prince Albert ' ge nd Accoucheur, F. H, BRATHWAITE, M. D,, C. M,, RADUATE of the University of McGill TT College, ption) Physio Surgeon and Accoucheur, Prince Albert. Office and Resi- aence--the house lately occupied by Dr. Agnew. Drs, McGILL & RAE, TIYSICTANS, Surgeons, &e., &c. Office and Residences, King street, Oshawa. WML. WGILL, M.D. FRANCIS RAR. M, B, JOHN BILLINGS, ARRISTER, Attorney at Law, Solicitor in Chancery, Notary Public, Conveyancer, --o&c., Prince Albert. Office over PT. C. Forman's Store. COCHRANE & COCHRANE, ARRISTERS», Attorneys, &c. Prince Albert office--opposite the Town Ilall; ort Perry office--over Mr. Bigelow's Store. NORMAN F. PATERSON, (Late of Miller & Paterson, Toronto ) TTORNEY-at-Law, Solicitor in Chancery, Uonveyancer, &c., Beaverton. Office in the building occupied by Dr. Wilson, Simcoe-st. TE P. A, HURD, TTORNEY at Law, Solicitor in Chan- ser, Qouveyaner, Notary Publie, &c., 'FAREWELL & McGEE, . ARRISTERS, Attorneys, Solicitors and ) Notaries Public. Offices, in the Post Office Building, Simcoe Street, Oshawa. ¥.B. FAREWELL, L.L.B. i R. M'GEE, B. A. CAMERON & MACDONELL, JIARRISTERS and Attorneys at Law, Solicitors County Council Ontario. Offices: Court House. + st. C. CAMERON. | H. J. MACDONELL. ANDREW F."McPHERSON, ARRISTE a B ARRISTER: ou Lloroyatla, Solici OFFICE--Dundas street, 3 doors west ot the Post Office, Whitby, July 4, 1866. R, J: WILSON, Bi thou Atorey at Law, Solicitor ilding, Pots Whitby, 0 te ¥ictoria MAN ENGLISH, LL. B,, OLICITOR in Chancery, . Attorney, coe 2) Conveyancer, &c., Oshawa. O! street, opposite the post office. C. N. VARS, RACTICAL Dentist, Oshawa, C. W. Dental Rooms' directly opposite the post 'ofice--entrance Simcoe street, third door north of the Ontario Bank. 7} /'. JOHN CHRISTIE, WNSHIP Clerk for Reach, Convey- Q seh Someones of the oust of ue ench, &c. Business carefu te 19. Office--. chester. ig ationds ALBERT SPRING, Lior Auctioneer for the Town- ships of Reac! ock, Uxbridge and Scotts 0 3 org fnkeon at this hy days a THOS. H.- WALSHE, J ICENSED Auctioneer for the Town- ships of Brock, Tho hy Mara ny Rama in) [ 03. poss { rictorin. encé-- Lah 0 Gomnty of ders left at this office, or at his residence will be punctually attended to. Debts collected in Can- ond. emembor WALSHE, tho North On arlo Auctioneer, Th 0 Au to attend to all who may favor him with . He is well acquainted with the mode of ricking and trimming ; and can treat success Fay any disease that horses are subject to,-- Charges moderate. Residence, Prince Albert, R. WALSH, He Farrier, is always in readiness a ca) D. M. CARD, 1, /SExsed AUCTIONEER, Coileetor of Accounts on Commission, ther in or out of the County. R nade ding to instructions, Sales punctually attended any- where inthe County, on the shortest notice.-- Charges moderate. Days for Sales appointed on application at the Opserver Office. All letters properly addcessed to the Uxbridge Post Office, will receive the promptest attention. J. D. Cottingham; EER DENTIST, FER BORELIA, CW By a New Process, Teeth can be Ex- tracted without pain, at his office. J.D. ©. is prepared to execute all operations connected with his profession with neatness and dispatch. Call and examine his specimens. Single lecth inserted--parts of sets, or whole sets--Cheap, and warranted. UNDERSTAND =--Attention to 'the Teeth preserves the health. Without teeth in good orderit is impossible to masticate food for the Hoe and consequently there cannot be good heaith, Ifyou have decayed teeth, get them filled. If you have any out get them replaced by new ones, Prices low, and all work warranted. If the work is not satisfactorily done, the money will be refunded. Office hours from 8 a. m. to 5 p.m. Borelia, Jan. 15, 1867. 2-1 English Pink Dental Rubber; New and beautiful Vulcanite Base for Arti- tificial Teeth! O..D. WAID, SURGEQON-DENTIST, IH ain=St,, Trbridvge. LL Dental operations performed with the LX utmost skill and care, warranted to give sat- isfaction or no charge, and at prices which defy competition. Rererexces.--Rev. Dr. Short, and ZH. D. Griggs, Port Hope; Rev. J: T. Burns, Whitby ; Jos. Gould, Esq., and J. Bolster, M. B., Uxbridge | Datels, &r. "REVERE HOUSE," MANCHESTER ! 4 PROPRIETOR. HANG purchased the above hotel, and has furnished the Bar with the choicest liquors and cigars. Every attention paid to guests.-- Stages to and from Whitby call daily. Careful ostlers always in attendance. 8 COTTAGE HOTEL, GREENBANK, B. PLANK THE subscriber wishes to inform the traveling public that he has taken the above hotel, which he has fitted and furnished throughout, and where the best accommodation, with careful attention, can always be found. -- Good stabling, enclosed yards, and attentive Ostlers, R. A. MURTA, Proprietor. Greenbank, Fel'y 13,1866. 6-1y Jewett's Hotel, KENT STREET, LINDSAY. Good stable and shed attached, and an attentive ostler always in attendance. Free Omnibus to and from the Cars and Boats. Saintfield Hotel. FS heise heing new, commodions, and well furnished throughout, the public favoring him with their custom may depend on finding every convenience necessary to their comfort at- modto.- Goot-Stabling; and attentive Ostlers | always in attendance. D.. CAMPBELL, Proprietor. DAFOE HOUSE, UrTica 00D accommodations. Careful attention to the requirements of travelers and guests. The bar supplied with the best wines, liquors and cigars Good stabling. J. DAFOE, Proprietor. THE ROBSON HOUSE! * LATE SCRIPTURE'S HOTEL, DUNDAS STREET WHITBY, C, W,, GEOKGE ROBSON, - - - PROPRIETOK, ITE Subscriber begs to that he has leased the building formerly known as Secrip- ture's Hotel, for a term of years, and that he has renovated and re-furnished the building through- out. The premises are pleasantly situated, op- posite the Post Office, in the centre of the town. The Railway Omnibus calls at the Hotel, and door every morning. JG Careful Ostlers always in attendance.' GEO. ROBSON REVERE HOUSE BEAVERTON, C. W. ITE Subscriber begs to announce that he has leased the above hotel, which Las been fur- nished and fitted up throughout in the best of style. None but the choicest liquors and cigars will be Kept in the bar, and his table will be fur- pistied with all the delicaci th 'are- 1 and obliging ostlers always in attedance. WM. PARKIN, Proprietor. Bea , July 27, 1864. 9 COMMERCIAL HOTEL, BROCK STREET, WHITBY. J undersigued begs to announce that he has taken the above well known premises which have been newly furnished and renovated by him, and where the best accommodation go- ing, with careful attention, ¢an always be found. Good stabling, enclosed and atten- tive Ostlers, Charges extre: moderate. BY aig, JOS MILER, Brooklin House. C. VICKERY, = «'Pporrretor, BEd most respectfully to inform the inhabi- tants of the County of. Ontario; that he has leased the above premises lately occupied by Sandy Perrie, which he has newly furnished and renovated, aud he is prepared to accommo- date the travelling public. The bar stocked with the choicest liquors and cigars, and an at- the Stages for Uxbridge and Beaverton leave the 2 tentive ostler always in attendance, ALBION HOTEL, East Market Square, Toronto. Good Stabli dati moderate charges. ' BOARD 81 PER DAY. W. SHORT, PROPRIETOR. Toronto, March 20, 1867. 10 MACKIE'S 'HOTEL, wn (LATE BRODIE'S,) Walton Street, Port Hope. Wu. MACKIE, Proprietor. ONTARIO HOTEL, BROCK.ST., WHITBY. C. DAWES, =~ - = i ROYAL HOTEL, WHITBY, C. WW. rE largest and most commodious Hotel in Town. A special conveyance to the Rail- way Station. tages depart from the Royal Hotel daily to all places north. Attentive host- lers always in attendance. - JACOB BRYAN, Proprietor. and every at Marriage ILicenscs: (BY AUTHORITY.) SSUED at Port Perry. Offic Housx. HENRY CHARLES. the Scucoa Jan, 23, 1867. 3-tf MONEY TO LOAN. T LOW RATES OF INTEREST. Apply to MESSIEURS COCHRANE & COCHRANE, Prince Albert MONEY, (RRIVATE FUNDS) To loan on good Farms, at 8 per cent interest. LYMAN ENGLISH, Barrister, Se 4 shawa. ver 21, 18606. 46 Money to Lend IN BUMS OF . B300 and Upwards, Ata low rate of Interest. FAREWELL & McGEE, Solicitors, &c. Oshawa, Nov. 14, 1866. 45-2m o fi Licensed Auctioneer. NF Subscriber, holding a f.iconce for the County of Ontario, and the Township of Mariposa, would beg to &tate to Farmers and others, requiring his services, that whatever d to his ¢are, will be prompt- ly and carefully nded to, Charges moderate. Terms, Days of Sale, &c., &c., arranged at the Observer Office, Prince Albert. E. MAIOR. business is eu Borelia, March, 27th, 1867 THE LIVERPOOL & LONDON & GLOBE Insurance Company. INVESTED FUNDS, INVESTED IN CANADA, Five Depavement, INSURANCES EFFECTED ON ALL CLASSES of Prorerty at CURRENT Rates. FARM RISKS ar Seecrarny Repuckp . RATES. 15,000,000 $250,000 Lite Depavtnrent, No EXTRA Charge for MILITARY SERVICE in defence of the COUNTRY. Life Policies for the benefit of Wifeor Children are Secure from Seizure by Creditors, Policy for $1000, by the Guaranteed Bonus A System costs at age 30, $24.90 a year. Should it become payable after 5 Feats, one- fourth of the Premiums are returned, wir the gum assured ; if after 20 years, or alf are re- turned ; after 30 years, three-fourths ; after 51, the sum assured' is doubled, and the heirs may claim $2,000. 3 Claims payable one month after proot of death. G. F. C. SMITH, Resident Secretary, MoNTREAL. M. G. ROBSON, Agent, Prince Albert. WESTERN ASSURANCE COMP'Y TORONTO, C. W. INCORPORATED... coovecriisnnnr 1851 Capital, - + $400,000. ...GEO. MICHIE, E TON. J. MeMURRICH VRESIDENT..... Ta BL JAMES PRINGLE, Travelling Agent; County of Ontario BR. THOMAS, SADDLE AND Harness Maker Thomas' Netw Building, South of Gibbs Block, Simcoe Street, OSHAWA. HE attenfion of farmers and others is in: vited to his stock of heavy and light har- ness, all of which is new and of superior make Also there will be found a choce. selection of 5 whips, general saadley, tru porimanteaus hing ivory thing in the trade made tor order on the shortest notice. Repairing done neatly and cheaply. = R. THOMAS. Oshawa, Jan. 23,1867. 3- ly THE WATER-MILL Listen tothe Water-Mill, Through the livelong day-- How the clinking of the wheel Wears the weary hours away. Languidly the Autumn wind Stirs the withered leaves § On the field the reapers ling up the sheaves And a proverb haunts my. Mod, * And as a spell is cast ¢ «Tha mill will never grind With the water that 1s past." Sommer winds revive no more. Leaves strewn o'er ¢arth and main ; Aud the sickle ne'er can reap The gathered grain again} And the rippling streams flows on, Tranquil, deep, and still-- Never gliding back again ° To the Waler-Mill. Truly speaks the proverb old, With a meaning vast: « The mill will never gfind Wah the water that 1s past." Take the lesson to thyself, Loving heart, and true y Golden years are fleeting by--~ Youth is passing 100. Learn to make the most of life ; Lose no happy day! Time will ne'er return again Sweet chances thrown away. Leave no tender word unsaid-- Bnt love while love shall last : « The mill will never grind With the water that is past." Work while yet the sun does shine, Man of strength and will ! Never does the streamlot glide. Unless by the mill. Wait not unti! to-morrow's sun Beam brightly on thy way ; All that thou can'st call thine own Lies in the phrase ¢ To-day !" Power, mtellect, and blooming health May, will not always last; «The mill will never grind With the water that is past"? Oh! the wasted hours of lifo That have swiitly diified by ! Oh! the goad we might have done! Gono ! lost without a sigh! Love that we migkt once have saved By a single kindly word | Thoughts conceived but ne'er expressed, For ever lost, unheard ! Link the proverb to thy soul! Take, and clasp it fast: "The mill will never grind With the water that is past." I have thus endeavored quietly A serions lesson to impart} Oh! pass 1t not o'er hghtly, But bind it to thine heart. And when the fight ot life is o'er, And earth recedes from view -- And Heaven in all its glory shines, 'Midst-the pure, the geod, the true-- Then yon'll understand more clearly The proverb, deep and vast: « The mill will never grind With the water that is past." BE ---- CINCINNATTI ON A BENDER- WHISKY AND WATER. A quantity of whisky was destroyed in Cincinnati the other day, by throwing it into Deer Creek, from whenze it found its way to the city hydrants. The eflect 1s thus described by the ¢ Fat coutributor. The demoralization which has resulted to this commumty fiom the mingling of that Deer Creek whisky with the hydrant water is almost beyond calculation. It was not known for some time why a boory at- mosphere seemed to hedge all about. Men who never drank liquor in their lives, knowingly, went home for several days in succession 80 bloated that they were hardly to be recogt weeping wives as they helped them off 10 bed--¢ hadn't touched (hic) drop to-day ma'am -- hop'r die'f have, Then walking up in the morning with throbbing temples and bewildered brain they tied in vain to recall any occasion during the previous day, when they had wandered away from the established _ principles of a lifetime and taken to the bowl--¢ what drugs, what charms, what conjurations and what al- mighty magic,' had got them on a ¢ bum n One agea and highly respectable citizen* who never tasted liquor in his life, and con- sequently could belong'to a temperance society with impunity, was seen winding his way homeward the other day with his hat jammed down on the back of his head, and his face redolent and jolly, while he was singing : * Lan'lord, fill'r flowin' bowl, Foo' balls, foo' (hic) ball, 01d Uncle Johnny's marchin' home,' His wife didn't know him a firet, as he entered the house, his countenance was so changed, and then the ends of that white cravat which she always-tied herself every morning with so much care weve flying 1n the most outlandish manner abbut his left ear ; his clothes were disordered and soiled, and that hat! she had never seen such a sightin all her born or married days. Ho pulled it off, slung it wildly around his head with a 'whoopee I' and then shied it with sientific exactness upon the bast of Douglass, giving a horribly grotes- que leer to the late distinguished statesman as it dropped over the left eye. He offer- ed to bet two dollars and a balf that. ¢ He knew who he was and could whip any man who wasn't--then looking round upon his. family with a slight gleam of returning reason ; he yelled: Oh Iam a wreck I' and b g into tears, b the eldest girl to brigg a gutter for him to wallow in. He was lugged up stairs to bed, insanely shouting ¢ guiters for one !' ! It unfortunately came out in the papets the next day (it would have appeared be- fore, but the editors, whoit 18 well known imbibe extravagant quantities of water, were incapacitated from work themselves,) that great quantities of Spiskey had become mingled with the hydfant water, It had floated down Deer Crock from a burning distillery 'to the river, where the city have the most complete and eflective arrange- ment possible for stopping anything of a damnable order that finds its way down the creek ahd pumping it into the reservoir. W., THURSDA zed although they assured their | The excellent old gentleman above allud- ed tc had determined to put an end to his worthless existence, when he come to a full realization of what he had done, but looking over the morning paper to see if it was go- ing to be a very good day for suicides any how, he read about the Deer Creek whisky. That explained the whole business at once and gave him a renewal of life, He danced wildly aroand the room ; embraced his fam- ily with' the' most extatic joy, and invited them to join with him in a glass of water all around. Since it has becomo generally known that there is whisky 1n the hydrant water, there has been a' wourderful increase in water drinking. People drink 1t now who haven't tasted it before in years. They get up in the night to drink it, At bars they call for ¢ Deercreek straight.' The Water Works have been compelled to keep their engines at work pumping night and day to supply the demand. The old play says ¢ wine works wonders,' but it has re- cently demonstrated that water works won- ders, also. Ask the Water Works if it don'. Men hava been caught filling their flasks lo take a long journey. The eflect among the female portion cof the community was scarcely less terrible than among the men. What do you think of a company of nice old ladies getting hil- ations at a tea party--the dear innocent creatures, unconciously patting themselves outside of a glass of hot whisky in every cup. The hostess glows rubicund, hospita- ble, and presses her guests to "try just one mare cap,' which they can't refuse, "it is such b-e-a-utifol tea ; where did you get ii ? Is it Long Arm Chop? Old lady remarked that sho ¢ hadnt tasted such (hie) 'licions tea'n f-o-r-l-y years. Half cup, 'f please," Then as evening ware on they had toasts with their tea, and songs keeping time with their tea-cups thumpingly on the talle. [twas a jolly old party. ~ And then when the cariages came to take them home they sent word back to the ¢ old man' that they won't go home till morn'n 3' and finally wound up by smashing all the tea things. Terrible ting, wasn't it ? and the dear old creatures not knowing that barrels upon barrels of whiskey had been pumped 'into the hy- drants. Kitchen girls wero great sufferers from the fumes of boiling water. Washerwomen all over the city bending over [their wah tubs, which were nothing less than great wooden bowle of hot whisky punch drop- ped dowri™in a helpless state of intoxication, and had to be put to bed and heavilly dos- ed. Temperance folks are dismayed. A lodge Y, MAY 30,1867. = [WHOLE No. 420 -- THE HEAD TURNED] ¢ Twins, be jabers I" exclaimed the hor- ror struck Irishman, as the nurse approach- A crazy man was found @tia grindstone | oj boaring a new pledge of affection from sharpening a large butel every now and then exam seef it was keen. i * What are you doing hi «Don't you see ? Shar, knife.' x ¢ Yes, but what are yo it when sharpened 1" ¢ Cat old Ben. Brown's head off to be ure." « What! you won't kill him, will you? €0 no! I'll only cut his head off and stick it right on again hind-side before, jut to let the old fellow look back upon his past hfe! It would take him all the rest of his life to review." : What a queer idea the lunatic had in his head! And what if it were so, that every man when he reached a certain age had his face turned round, and was obliged to spend the Test of his days in looging over his past life! ~~ Wouldn't there be strange sights ? There goes a very old man, his face look- ing back, and what does he see? He seen a lond lite, full of mercies. He has out- lived almost all who began life with him. He began, determined to be rich, and so he has saved, and earned, and denied him- self and family, never given away but the smallest eum, and been hard and unfeeling though correct in bargaine, and he 18 rich! There's no mistake about it. He is rich. What does he sco as he looks back ? Why, he secs a multitude of small mean tricks ; he sees widows and orphans looking hard after him ; he sees the graves of all his sons who died intemparate ; he sees places where he has just escaped human law ; he secs an ancounted number of hard, grinding bar- gains ; ho sees the faces of men scowling aftor him, not one blessing him, not one giving thanks that he ever lived. What works follow him! How would he rejoice if his head could only be turned back, that he might look forwards ! There comes another with his head turn- ed and looking back. Heis very feeble, and it 18 plain that in a few weeks he must die. What does he see ? Hu sees how he was once a poor working boy ; how hard he worked, summer and winter, to get money. He became very rich. Who has such a house as he, such wealth as he ? Why, he is one of the .ichest men in all the region. Money, money was his god. He sought no other, knew no other. How he moved among the rich men, a kind of prince! But ah! he sees thai he has been living for himself, on a poor scale and that life has been to him a miserable falure, He has this big of these worthy people attempted to hold their regular meeting the other night, not having heard as yet of the Deercreek cal- amity. The meeting very nearly broke up in a row, each brother clamorously accusing some one else of coming there ¢ in a state of (hic) toxication.' One wfluential mem- ber offered a resolution to ¢ 'spel every one of us." It was a most unacountable state of af- fairs, but they settled it at length by agree- ing to forgive each other, if they wouldn't do it again. They inttiated a new member, in bumpers of Deercreek He was finally moved to make a speech. Said he, ¢ Gen'le- man, I'm d'hghted I'm bapily disp'inted. Folks said if I 'ned Sons couldn't have no fun 'S lie! Never enjoyed 'self 8" much in my (hie) life. Gen'lemen's happiest day 'f ever experienced, I givea tost--¢ Hero's to col' (hic) wa'er an' death to King Alka- Lp The toast was drank in goblets of water, standing, except ui the case of some who conldn't stand any more, who had retired, They then dispersed after singing-- Col' wa'er, col' wa'er, bri' wa'er for mg, An' wins for er tremblin' Deborshakee, The Government Inspector of Whiskey is about to-day levying two-dollar tax on all hydrant water. ee a an A TH NOBLE NEGRO BOY. The following incident inthe fatal col- lission of the Niagara with the post boy on the Mississippi was related tome by an eye witness. The two steamers struck, and the Niagara immediately careened, and be- ghn to sink. The wildest consternation was at once universal, Ladies rushed to and fro with piercing screams, imploring the men to help them. But no means écem ed at hand, and each sought his individual rescue. At this fearful moment a negro boy--one of the crew--was seen lushing a long and stout rope around his body, at the other end tying a stick of wood in the cen- tre. Instantly with this apparatus, he threw himself into the river. Turning upon his back, the stick drifted to the rope's eud, and calling upon the ladies who stond at the edge of ithe boat--one with a child in her arms--he urged them to spring and catch either end of the' stick orror-stricken they hesitated. The negro lay calmly onthe waves, and in tones of confidence,told them it was their only hope, insisting that he would curry them safely to shore. For another instant they hesitated ; but gathering courage from his self posses- sion, and realizing that it was their last moment, they took a leap, and both sue- ceeded mn grasping the stick. Turning quickly to prevent their . seizing him the heroic fellow struck out with strong mus- cles for the land. Therapid current was well nigh resistless, but he wrestled man- fully with his burden. The energy of des- pair kept them to their hold and at length their feet touched bottom. Buth ladies, with the clinging little one were saved. Many witnessed this feat. It exhibited a cool but unparalleled bravery, but was wholly disinterested, as both ladies were strangers. It'should be added thatthe boy left his own' trunk, with his best clothing and three hundred dollars in money lo sink with the wreck.-- Rev. J. I. A A farmer hired a sailor to dig a patch of folatoes vpon condition of being allowed a ttle of whiskey to begin with, In abont an hott the farmer went to see how the sun of Neptune had progressed with hisjbusiness ot farming, when he found him holding to a stuinp, the bottle lying empty at his fe t and no potatoes dug. ¢ Hallo, you rascal,' said he, ¢ 18 this the way you dig potatoss ?' «1 you want your potatoes dug,' said the sailor, "hicoughing, ¢ bring 'em on for I'm not going to run all ound the lot after 'em." apent it without God. He has known noth- ing of a Saviour. He has laid up treasures only for this world. How barren the path 1 which he has been walking now looks to him ! Not one single vision in all his past life now looks pleasant! Poor, rich, pitied, envied man! he sees his way in the valley and knows what he had done. 0 Te, dress-loving Mrs. Flash! Is your head so turned around, too, that you see your past life! What a multitude of dresses, and curls, and ribbons, and bigh shoes, and knick-knacks of every kind fill the path behind yon ! Wha are the great company of the pule, bent, coughing, and half starving females who are looking after you? O, I'see! They are the seam- stresses, penned up girls who made all your dresses, and whom you screwed down to the last cent, and then perhaps made them wait for their pitance. You rode to balls and parties and theatres and operas in a splendid carriage, and often brushed by these starving ones on your way. You see poor widows, feeble and weary, working all night for you to feed their little ones, and you never gave them a thought of pity. O Mis. Flash ! you are looking back on a fashionable race you have been running, the diamonds and jewells, with great par- ties and other indulgences, but where, O where! is all the past? Do you sce any- "thing but a hard-hearted race - ol fashion, without one good purpose of life, or deed done for God? Poor mortal | you only did as others did, but if your face isreally turned so us to see the past, you have a poor vision | low many of us would dread to have our face turned round so as to ba compelled to seo our pust life! And what a joy if we could look back and see that only which our heavenly Father would approve !--S. 8. Times. et eet HOW SHALL THE LADIES WEAR THEIR HAIR. A lady corrospondent in an exchange thus briefly discusses the above question :-- Something must be done and that quickly or we shall have all our ladyships scudding under bare poles: The mandates of fashion ; kitie, and | hig fruitful helpmate. edge 10}, 1ied nurse--* faith, Murdoch, and it's the to do with «Twins, hinny I} blessed whisky that makes ye] see double this morning I' ------ = ------------ «Stop your crying,' said an enraged father '4 ns son, Tad kept up an pc - erable ¢ yell," for the past five minutes. ¢ Stop, I'say, do you hear ?" ogaiu repeated the father, after a few minutes, the body still erying. «You don't suppose I can choke oft in a minute, do you? exclaimed the hopetul urchin. -------- 8 ~~ ------------ An inveterate dram drinker being told that the cholera with which he was attack- ed was incurable, and that he would speedily removed to a world of pure spirits replied, ¢ Well that's comfort at all events to get, for it's very, difficult to get any in this world. ie mm eee Snooks wonders where all the pillow- onses go to. He says ne never asked a girl what she was making when she was en- gaged in white sewing without having in answar, 'a pillow case." Yes they, have to* make shift as best they cad, and answer anything. A gentleman once ask a young lady of his acquaintance. ¢ What are you making, Miss Rnerr ? ¢Knapp- sack," was the quick reply. rr --~ ~~ ---------- «Is your note good 7' asked a merchant the other day, of a person who had offered anote for a lot of goods. ¢ Well, replied the purchaser I should think it ought to be} every-body's got one !" rt ------ 4 ---- A Michigan publishes the following :-- ¢Fellow citizens! If youn are asleep-- awake! If you are awake--move! If you are moving--walk ! 1f you are walk- ing--run | If you are ranning--fly to the rescue !" ------------------ The most amusing man in the world is a Frenchman in a passion. ¢ By gar, you call my vife a voman three several times once more, and I will call de vatehhouse, and blow your prain like a candle, by dam.) The mother of a large family, was one day asked the number of her children. La, me,' sho replied, rocking two and fro ¢ I've got fourteen, mosily bays and girls ' re ---- ee. Those two celebrated divines and scho- Inrs, Drs. South and Sherlock, where once disputing on some religious sulyect when the latter accused his openent of nsing his wit in the controversy. ¢ Well,' sail South, «suppose it had pleased God to give you wit, what would yon have done ?* ee A---- A shrewed and lively young belle was introduced a few evenings ago to a bombas- tie little youth about #8 diminutive in his person as a man can well be. After con= versing with her for some minutes he turn- ed to leave the room, when as he was on the point of opening the door, the young lady innocently abserved, ¢Pray don't trouble yourself, thera is the keyhole. ee ---- A -- A wealthy butcer was playing the game of ecarte a few evenings since at the mansion of a city Alderman, when a lady who was betting on the game, leaned over the back of his chair and innocently asked a friend opposite, ¢ How are stakes now ?? Mr. , wholy absorbed in the game, quickly turned with the reply, ¢ Very cheap rump-steaks are now, madam, but ten cents a pound.' eran A --------a Before the days of chloroform a quack advertised tooth-drawing without any pain. The patient was placed in a chair, and the instrument] applied to his tooth with a wrench, followed by a roar from the un- pleasantly surprised euffurer, ¢ stop," cried the dentist, 'compose yourself. 1 told just gave you that ({wirige as a specimen to show you Cartwright's method of opera- ting." Again the instiument was apphed, anoiher lug, another roar. ¢ Now don't be impatient, that is Dumerge's way ; be seat- ed and calm, you-will now be sensible of the superiotity of my method.' Another tug, another roar. ¢ Now pray be quiet, that is Parkinson's mode, you dont hfe it and no wonder." By thistime the tooth hung by a thread ; and whipping it out, the operator exultingly exclaimed, that's my mode of tooth drawing "without pain and you are now enabled to compare it with ihe operations of Cartwright, Dumerge and Parkinson." ee ee A #chool boy ¢ down east," who was noted among his play-fellows for his frolics am= ong the girls, was reading aloud in the old have been over severe for three or four years testameut when coming to the phrase, andsnow we are paying the penalty of our devotion. Eugene's hair is getting thin on the top of ber head. Well, she has plenty of company in that afthetion, if that comfort to her. The waterfalls, [; rats, mice and a thousand other diabolizal contrivances of hair dressesers, tend to one object--10 strain at the roots of the hair, by tying and twisting in every possible way. The natural consequence 18 the downfall of ®omen. What shall we do? Go back to the days of shepherd simplicity and wear our own ringlets over our shoulders. Alas, for us who have locks like unto the needles of the pine tree, and whose tresses have as much spiral tendency as the most rigid of pokers | Who will come to our relief, for the waterfall oppresseth the brain, and headaches are prevalent among us, Let some hair dresses arise who will free us from this bondage, and great will be their re- ward. ---------- A tipsy preacher, in Dumfries, Scotland, was saying from the pulpit--* What was it ood ople, think ye, that swallowed onah ? It was na'aihorse, it was nae cow.' «1 suppose.' said an old woman, ¢it was a whale, your reverence.' ¢1 suppose,' said hey ¢ you area fool, you might as well take ihe brede vot of my mouth, as the word o' God.' eet A --e ee A gentleman was condoling with a lady on the loss of her husband, but finding that she treated it with indifference suddenly exclaimed :--¢ Oh, very well, Madame, « making the waste places glad,' he was asked by the pedagogue whatit meant. The | you [would give you no pain, butlonly . could give no adswer, when up jomp- ed:a more precotions urchin,and cried out :-- «1 know what it means, master. hugging the gals for Tom Roes is always huggin' 'em around the waiste and it makes em glad as can be.' TENDERS Painting! RS for Painting the Town Hall, Man= with (wo Coats of White Paint, will ived by the undersigned till SATURDAY, the First day of June next. The person receiving the con! the ran] required and to if that is the way you take it, I calo just as little about it as you." " ~