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fam "But his wife," per- : cpt Tn "That's what : Sisted L ihe say," said the boy. re YU tren, WHAT WAS LACKING At a horse race in Ireland one of the animals proved refractory and despite all efforts his rider could not get him into the line. The patience of the starter be- came exhausted as he shouted 'for the tenth time, "Bring up that horse! Bring him up!" "I can't, sir," yelled back the rider of the stubborn equine. "This here's been a cab horse; he won't budge till he hears the doors shut, an' I aint got no oor." i Hebe, AN INFAMOUS LIE. An automobile owner keen on saving gas, installed a new car- burator which guaranteed to save 20 per cent. on fuel. Next he put in special spark plugs guaranteed to save another 20 per cent., intake super heater that was guaranteed to save 20 per cent. His next pur- chase was a patented rear axle to save 20 per cent. Finally he put on over-size "cords" that promised a 20 per cent. saving on gasoline. Now with a saving of 100 per cent. on fuel the own- er has to stop every hundred miles and bail out the gas tank to keep it from running over. FER a WHAT HIS WIFE THOUGHT Many people were puzzled about 25 years ago as to the in- side domestic relations of a cele- brated United States war hero. This was Lieutenant R. P. Hob- son, who became a hero over night among his emotional fel- ~ low-countrymen as a result of an exploit in the Spanish-American War. When he came home he was feted all over the land, and, for some unknown reason, the women took to kissing him wherever he went. The spec- tacle rather sickened many peo- ple, and lead to wonderment as to what his wife thought about it. Now we know, and it is in- genious reasoning. The explan- ation is given by Miss Elizabeth Marbury in a book of remini- scences, "My Crystal Ball," re- - cently published in London: "After addressing a meeting in Chicago, so great was the en- thusiasm that the Lieutenant was forthwith kissed by three thousand women. When Mrs. Hobson was asked whether she . objected to this, she replied: 'Not in the very least! I in- finitely prefer to have my hus- band kissed by three thousand than that he should be kissed three thousand time by one woman.' " e----r) ins. MEMORIAL FUND IS NOW $22,164.05 ~The Oshawa War Memorial fund now totals $22,164.05 including the from the recent G.M.C. con- 'JOGAL AND LONG DISTANCE. RELIABLE SERVICE CART F. R. BENNETT = Union Ave, Port Perry. Phone210 May 29 DR. J. A MURRAY, DENTIST Office in Leonard Block Hours 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Phone 938 PORT PERRY, ONTARIO SMITH & SMITH Lindsay, Ont. Land Surveyors and Engineers, Surveying and Municipal Engineer~ ing, Sewerage, Drainage, Roadways, FUEL NEWS! Pea Coal, $12.50 PER TON. D.L.&W. Scranton Nut, $16.00 ton D.L.& W. Scranton Stove, $16.00 ton Small Coke, $12.50 Solvay Hard Coke $13.00 a ton. (The faultless fuel.) Kentucky Domestic Coal only $10.50 a ton delivered Dry Hardwood--$4.00 single ed. Dry Mixed Slabs--33.00 delivered Above prices include delivery in town. St. Mary's Cement, Roger's Waterproof Cement, Lime, and Plaster. P. FIGARY Bell Phones 94; 214. Port Pests FOR SALE 6 fresh young cows for sale, good milkers. Apply S. Musson, R.R. 4, Port Perry, Phone 164 1-2. FOR SALE Thirty Plymouth Rock Hens, pure bred, 1 year old, good layers, $1:26 each. Apply H. B, McKercher, Utica, Phone 164 3-1 WANTED Good girl for general house work in family of four, every electric con- venience. Apply to Bradley Bros., Oshawa, Box 863. rrr (prem. FOR SALE Spring wagon, (carry 30 hundred.) or will exchange it for hay, wood or a young cow; also a cheap buggy and some sweet clover seed for pasture land. Call and, see them, A. D. Peters, Jubilee bump Works, Port Perry, phone 148 1-3 (See our Pump Advt.) ----( (J r-- STRAY CATTLE Six young cattle strayed from lot 22, con 10, Reach, about May 20th. The cattle consist of one blue and white steer, three red steers and two red heifers. Finder please notify Arthur Sleep, R.R.2, Seagrave. Bell phone 128 r 8. rem (YY prem YOUNG PIGS FOR SALE The undersigned has a number of young pigs for sale. Apply to Fred Dowson, R.R.2, Port Perry, Ont. me (Jerre "Brudder Perkins, yo' been fightin', I heah," said the colored minister. "Yaas, Ah wuz." book sez "bout turnin' de odder cheek ? "Doan yo' 'membeh whut de good] : "Yaas, pahson, but he hit me on| rT. ah nose, an' Fae SHY Bob vue ; ar $3.50, for $2.75 gular $4.25, for $3.50 Regular $4.75, for $3.75 z These are heavy, well varnished doors, and will do credit to anybody's place. Also see us about window screens, wire netting, etc. : Remember we deliver Coal Oil any place in town. Just call 61. We. do the rest. Carnegie Hardware Company Port Perry :: Ontario 1007 RETURNS You want to get the most out of the money and labor you are putting into fields of corn and beef and dairy cattle? Then you can't afferd to be without a good silo-- like my "Toronto" Silo. It supplies the equivalent of rich June pasturage all through the winter. It quickly pays for itself in more milk and Yalbies sith; THOS. RAINES & SONS PORT PERRY, ONT. ASK FOR Goode Ice Cream Made from sweet. Natural Colar a at This silk has & beautiful finish and i is a good weight. - 38 Well a8 for dressen, It also ie, price $1.25, for $1. per yard. Cotton Crepe at 48c. per Yard. This is one of the popular heavy weight dress materials. We have five different. sojors, Plain Pink, Rose, Green, Blue and Alice Blue, 38 inches wide, Rega value 75¢., to clear 48c. yard. Corticelli Mercerised Crochet Cotton, size 40 only, 3 balls for oi Boys' Khaki Shirts-and Pants for the warm weather. Shirts are made of fine ' quality duck, size 12} to 14, at 85¢c. Khaki Duck Pants to match shirts ! at $1.00 and $1.25 pair. Boys' Coveralls in plain Khaki with red and white nie at 85¢. and $1. 00 Boys' Print Shirts' at 48c. This is a mixed lot--they are among our best sellers--in plain chambray stripes and checks. Regular price 75¢., for 48¢. each, - LT i BROCK BROS. & CO. PORT PERRY World's Lowest Priced