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\ \ Scugog Citizen -- Tuesday, January 14. 1992 » 7 PP VIEWPOINTS 3 |S 3 r BARENAKED LAD HMM. MMMMMM Got your attention, right? Relax, Port Perry has NOT, repeat NOT been selected as the site of the Miss Nude World Galaxy competitions this summer. But Barenaked Ladies have certainly been in the news the last few days. Just in case you haven't a clue what I'm talking about, Barenaked Ladies is the name of an all-male rock group that performs fully clothed, by, the way, in clubs and ert halls in Ontario. But not in Toronto's Nathan Phillips _ Square. The group was supposed to be part of the New Year's Eve entertaigment, but was dropped When some City Hall bureaucrats felt some people in Toronto would be "offended" by the group's name because it "objectifies women." The ban on the group from the Square apparently had the support of newly elected Torbnto Mayor June Rowlands. All right, Barenafed Ladies is a srg name for a rock group, but to-ban them from perforthing on city property because of the name is .....in my opinion, anyway.....a tad heavy-handed. Kind of like judging a book by the cover. The group's lead singer is quoted as saying the name is not meant to demean or trivialize women, but rather is a refergnce to |" childhood as it is part of the language of chil- dren. And the group's image is slightly goofy and humourous. Of course, on the flip side, in this day and age of political and social correct- ness, one can see that somebody might take offense a the name of the group. When this controversy hit the Toro, media last week, some of the City Hal bureaucrats were doing some fancy back- ing to wipe. the egg from their faces 'over what really was an embarrassing issue. When I got through chuckling about this, I wondered t how one or two people could make an arbitrary decision to ban (censor) an group from pes g in pub- lic just because they didn't like the name or felt thavsome Toronto citizens might fc same way. Pretty heavy-handed stuff} yi must admit. Can any group be banned and censored just because somebody doesn't like the name? That would be pretty scary stuff. But in this country, in this province these days, nothif should come as a surprise, We are going to such lengths to avoid offends anybody, it has long passed the ridiculous stage. As. it wrned out in the gascgpl ked Ladies, the t who made their decision had to do some fast explaining, tracking, claiming the ban on the Ladies is not" permanent. And they did look preity silly try- and they came out of looking rather silly, As for the Barenaked Ladies? Well their career Just took a giant wm for the better. 'They have been interviewed on TV, radio fe 0 th fis. Ti Sout of Ue pris made headlines, no less. So gluon for keeping the name away from a few who might find it offensive.! OLD MAN WINTER sure ain't what he used 10 be around these parts. How many umes in the last couple of years have I heard long-time Scugog'residents*talk about how tough winters were in years gone by. They talk of the great blizzards, the snow piled high as the phone lines in Port Perry, Highway 7A 10 Manchester plugged solid for a week, the bitterly cold temperatures that «made ice in Lake Scugog four feet thick. And they are right, of course. As'T write this in the secondsweek of January, J gaze from the office window and what do I see? Rain and fog, hardly a patch of snow any- where and goupy slush for what should be solid ice on the lake. It's not even a semi-winter's day out there. This crazy mixed-up weather is making it tough on those who actually enjoy winter, like myself. And the lack of winter is hurting the local economy. The Ice Palace should have opened on Sunday, now it's delayed til the coming weekend. The guys (and gid) who race their motorcycles around the icg are ham- pered. And even the ice fishing seems to be off10 slow start this year. What has happened 10 winter that used to start in mid-November and hang on til the end of March; winter with a half dozen serious blizzards; winter with snow banks 10 feet high; winter with, waist deep snow in the fields and bush? They say it has something 0 do with the global warming trends and I sup- that's as good an answer as any. As for myself, I hate the "in-between win- tefS" we've had thé'last several years. Fog and rain on Ney Years Day? Snow one day, rain the next. Might as well be living in London. IN CLOSING......... Writing a weekly col- umn is tough sometimes. Years ago, whenev- er I was suck, | could always tum to my kids and come up with something. Not any more. Now that they are older and actually read the stiff I write cach week, they have told me in no un-certain terms they never want 10 see their names in this space. Being the gpnscien- tious father that | am, 1 have no choice but to respect their wishes. But did I ever tell you about the time lan and Matt were in the tub together and Ann'walked into the bathroom? Just kidding, guys. But let's make a deal. KedPMyour room clean and I'll keep your nafhes out of the paper. I really get a kick out of Marlene Russell and Helen Suzanne, our two in the most unusual places. Weird but true, I haven't actually met Helen, although 1 have seen her bizarre litte grey and pink automobile rumbling ¢ around town. She's been in the office a few times, obviously to drop off her col- umn, but because her photo isn't with her writing, I never eatch on to who she is until she's out the dgor. Some day, Helen, some day! Marlene, on the other hand, I have come to know, and appreciate. She fs like a bottle of Canadian champagne -- bubbly, without being snobbish; intoxi- cating, and cheerfully unique. The first thing yol notice about Marlene is her laugh. This is no ordinary laugh. Her whole body gets involved, shaking with mirth; her face turn§ scarlet and out of the deepest recesses of her soul rushes the heartiest, most conta- gious, most powerful laughter I have ever heard. And she laughs like this ALL THETIME! 1 wonder, does this not exhaust her? No! It fuels her, and everyone around 1s andeed lucky to have her as a colum- nist, and as an advertising sales repre- lLsentative. -" It was Marlene who reminded me of what it felt like to be by-passed as "Teen Pick of the Week'. When | was growing up 'in Markham, the Markham Economist & Sun was the 'bible! of community news. It had been around forever under the guidance of editor Jim Thomas, who had a weekly photo feature called 'Teen Pick of the Week'. Adl it was, was a photo of some local teenaged girl 'and a little bit of information about her hobbfes. Oh, how I'longed to be a Teen Pick of the Week. In my pre-teenaged years, 1 dreamt of walking down the strect and bumping into Jim Thomas, who would stop in his tracks, throw fimself amy feet and"beg me to be his next Teen Pick of the Wek. Not only that, once the pic- ture was in the paper, everyone ing Markham would agree that I was the best Teen Pick of the Week Mr. Thomas' had ever chosen. When I reached the magic afe of13,1 prepared for this adulation. But it didn't appen that year. Or when I was 14, Or 'lifestyle' columnists, who find humour her, on to higherenergy. Her enthusi- asm is not to be denied, and the Citizen ~ 15. Or sweet 16 (1 thought for sure I'd be Teen Pick of the Weck at 16). Because | was having no luck bumping into Mr. Thomas, I took to walking back and forth in front of the Economist & Sun office, confident he would look out the window, see me, and say, "Who is that girl? She simply must be the next Teen Pick of the Week!" That didn't work either. Sweet 16 went by the wayside. So did 17. And 18. And*19. Even up to the day before my 20th birthday, I thought I still had a chance. But alas, | was never chosen. I often wondered why other girls were picked. Especially the 'bad' girls of the school, who told Mr, Thomas their favourite hobby was owing things." He probably thought theyewere talking about gardening (ah isn't that nice, teenaged girls who like to grow vegeta- bles). Meanwhile, the 'things' they were referring to were marijuana plants. They boasted about this all the time. It was like a secret society of the 'cool' girls who made it to the pages of the Economist & Sungl highly doubt any of them grew anything besides bigger breasts, but they thought they were § pulling something over Mr. Thomas and the whole town, and thus, thought they were being pretty funny. Which hurt all the more. I felt like calling Mr. Thomas up and telling him the truth. "Pick me," I'd cry, "Pick me! | am a GOOD girl!" But I didn't. * You may wonder why I cared so much about something so trivial: Really, it didn't change my life one way or the other, and I never think about it now. Except that when I was talking to Maglatie. the other day, the subject came up. Not being a Teen Pick of the Week was like being chosen last for a téam in school gym class. It was like sitting at home on a Saturday night, or not getting invited to the prom. I was a teenager when a song by Janice lan was popular, a song where a lonély, homely teenaged girl sings, learned the truth at 17, that love was meant for beauty queens." Funny, how very truce that song was. And is. It's the anthem of all girls everywhére who are bypassed for Teen Pick of the Week. 5 x -- SNAPSHOT, OF THE WEEK SCUG0G CITIZENS Andrew Edwards is No doubt about it, people love their pooches. The' Citizen gets more pooch pic- tures for 'Snapshot of the Week' than anything else (sec* ond most popular are kids pix). Sincesthese are the dog days of January, here's a well- dressed doggie and her date, o happens to be a real I'. Hey, if the shoe fits... Send us your favourite snapshots -- of your family, your pets; your vacation, whatever photo you've taken and you're proud of! Citizen staffers will select their fayorite snaps and run them in this space. 'Then, at the end of the year, we'll dave a panel of judges choose their favorite picture, and the photographer will win a brand new 35mm camera. Our address is 36 Water St., Port Perry. Bring them in! this week's Scugog Citizen. It's hard to catch up with this, guy between jobs, school and the gym! Andrew is going to school in Peterborough, as part. of his marine mechanic apprentice- ship. He's a clean liv- ing kind of guy and enjoys boating, hock- ey, keeping in shape and spending time with his tyily