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| JUST IN FUN | Superstitious The young man wrapped his arms round the pretty girl, "My darling," he breathed, "you're all the world to me, 1 don't know what I'd do without you. 1 love---" At that moment, the doorbell rang. The girl jumped up. "It's my fiance," she gasped. "You must leave at once. Qh, harry!" The young man looked around nervously. "But how am 1 going to leave?" he asked anxiously. 1 can't go out by the door. Your fiance would ° see me." The girl thought quickly, "Jump out of the winlow," she advised. "But we're on the thirteenth floor." The girl stamped her foot. "So what?" she rasped. "At this stage are you going to tell me you're superstitious." Needs Encouragement "You sold me a car two weeks ago." "Yes, sir." "Tell me again all you said about "it then. I'm getting dtscouraged." Misunderstood The customer was choosing a book at the library. "Have you had "Seven Years With the Wrong Woman?" asked the assistant. : "No, twelve!" snapped the cus- tomer. "But what's that to do with you?" Doubting Tommy The sailor home on leave was telling his fiancee's family some rather tall tales of his adventures. All listened enthralled, except the youngest son, who was obvi-- ously unimpressed. "You see, Tonfmy," said the sailor, atter one extra - startling story." always believe in fighting the enemy with his own weapons." "Oh, yeah!" sneered the lad. "And how long does it take you' to sting a wasp?" "heard that she said to her mother: "A day or two after the operation Easy The vicar was taking one of the young men of his parish to task. "William," he said gravely, "I hear that you have been raising false hopes in several maiden hearts. Rumor says that you're en- gaged to one girl in this village, another in Little Mudard, and a third in Ditchley. How can you do such a thing?" With an uneasy grin, William replied: - "Well, sir, I've got a bicyele." Triple Order In preparation for a coming event tlitle Joan had heen told that Daddy was ordering a small brother. ) Triplets arrived, and when Joan "Why didn't you order a baby yourself? You know how Daddy stutters?" Not Responsible The wife of a recently-married Aberdonian had successfully under- gone an operation for appendicitis, her husband was having a whisky with the doctor, who in a moment of forgetfulness mentioned that the operation should have taken place two or three years earlier, The father-in-law received the bill. Embarrasing Little Boy: "I met Mr. Jones in the street going to sci.ool and he said he w med to see papa about something, and he called papa a valking encyclopedia." Mama: "Indeed! And what did my little pet say to Mr. Jones?" Little Boy: "I cailed hin an-old centipede and threw a snowball at him." The Attraction Shopwalke . "That customer was hanging round for a long time. What did he want to sce?" Pretty assistant (coyly): "Me, sir." CROSSTOWN "Now remember--DON'T coun! to ten before pullin' the rip- cord! You'd be flat on the ground by that time!" * By Roland Coe SIDE GLANCES By Galbraith ' Prin i | _OPR. 1544 BY EA SERVICE, NG. T. MEO. U. 8. PAT. C.. ead "It you really love George, don't be too sensible--I had to preterid to be a Tittle bit silly sometinies to catch your grandpa!" E| |] -- rie aR "The opinions expressed by him are his own and not necessarily those of the rest of us!" ] | U.s. State Head ['] HORIZONTAL VERTICAL 1 Pictured gov- 1 Cautioned ernor, -- 2 Pressed H, -- 3 Limb 11 War god 4 Lone Scout -. (ab.) 12 It proceeds 5 Affirm (music) 6 Female 13 Tidy servant 14 Leaping 7 Within amphibian 8 Permit 15 Blood vessel 9 Greater in 17 Snare size 18 Girl's name 10 Posture 20 City on Mont- 14 Card game real island 15 Votre Emi- 22 African nence (ab.) antelope 16 Chaos 23 Female ruff 18 Places 25 Build "20 He is 'er- 27 More unusual 28 Solicitudes 29 Symbol for <oosamarium 30 Thoron (sym.) 31 Muse of poetry 34 Be in accord 38 Native of Rome 39 Driving lines 40 Short sleep 41 Gateways 46 Make an edging 47 Merganser 49 Low sand hil 50 Third power (math.) 51'Great Lake 58 Near 54 Fuel 55 Judicable ] Anawer (0 Previoun Puzrle LORD nor of ---- 37 Royal Italini 21 Rinks of the family name gods 42 Alleged force 24 Roman god- 43480 sheets dess 44 Against 26 Stove 45 Compass point 31 Sea eagles 48 Intellect 32 Wandered 50 Male swan 33 Unit of 52 Ells English electricity (ab.) 54 Symbol for calcium 35 Ceremony 36 Render capable | VOICE OF THE PRESS THE HARD WAY It can't be very good for people to get the idea -- as they easily might -- that one infallible way to have industrial peace is to have a world war on at the same time. -- Vancouver Province, THE LITTLE FELLOW The logging strike in British Co- lumbia has operators and loggers "up a tree." And, as usual, the little guy way out on the dead branch is John Public. --St. Catherines Standard DIFFERENT WORK And if some men expended as much energy in trying to earn a dollar as they do in trying to bor- row one, they would never have need to borrow. -- Brandon Sun. THAT'S A TRAGEDY More accidents occur in the kit- chen than in any other room in the house, Included, perhaps, are in- stances of cakes falling in the oven. -- Stratford Beacon-Herald. COMMON SENSE ON ROADS Good motor cars and good roads have added much to the sum total of human happiness. Used properly, "they form one of the greatest bene- fits of the age. Abused they be- come a source of serious danger. It is onl: common sense to do our utmost to secure safety on the highways. -- Guelph Mercury. EIGHT PLUS EIGHT Most farmers are on eight-hour shifts -- eight hours before dinner, and eight hours after. -- Farmer's Advocate. HUSH Please don't tell that Detroit union, but we painted one of our kitchen chairs last night. -- Windsor Star. NOTE TO MOTORISTS -- The motorist who picks up strangers is not only liable to be robbed, but he is helping someone to break the law. He may be help- ing a criminal escape pursuit. The best advice that can be offered is, do not pick up hitch-hikers. It is hard to pass a seemingly honest secker of a ride, but this is a case where it is better to be safe than sorry. -- Saint John Telegraph-Journal. / THOUGHT FOR TOMORROW The world, says a contemporary, seems to be at the stage of deciding whethe: it will go all out for good or go out for good and all. - St. Thomas Times-Journal. MISLEADING Next time a oirl boasts to you of her bird-like appetit be sure to tell her that a bird eats the cquiv- alent of its own weight every day. -- Peterborough Examiner. MODERN TRAGEDY Add modern tragedies: the predic- ament of the catteman who ship- ped all his steers to Chicago, then made the rounds of the restaurants but couldn't find one steak! -- Christian Science Monitor, CATCH 'EM YOUNG There's nothing like snaifling the young delinquent before it's too late. Note in a Valparaiso, Ind, paper: "At the age of 90 he joined the church, and thereafter led an exemplary life." -- Ottawa Citizen. TOO MANY BOSSES Everybody wants to boss some- body and there is always somebody who wants to boss everybody. -- Brandon Sun. BUT NOT MOUTHS The mind is hke a parachute; it works best when it's open. -- Stratford Beacon-Herald. INDIA YROBLEM At the same time the failure of the Indian leaders to agree will scarcely surprise the unprejudiced observer. Indian nationalism has demanded independence for miny years now; at no time have Indian leaders been able to conceive of a - formula that will achieve that in- dependence and at the same time guarantee minority rights, -- Montreal Gazette. FAMILIES APPRECIATE the grand, satisfying flavor of Maxwell House Coffee. They love the fragrant goodness of the choice Latin-American coffees that distinguish this su- premely fine and delicious blend, MOPSY by GLADYS PARKER PLEASE ? WILL YOU CHECK MY BRAKES, Gro? PD. AN > S-- STUFF AND THINGS ; > - EERE POP-Hot News By J. MILLAR WATT , -- THIS PAPER ROASTS NO! . : pid" Wo) EVERYBODY SCANDAL WEATHER. BAAN ? Co =~ HHA " \ | |! 2a i oI: 4 ki. L - "I don't recognize the face-- i but the whistle is familiar!" -- STUFF AND THINGS Oh Boy! Throw Me a Few Thousand Shovels By BUD FISHER " A] SL Sr 4 - ge : rll LAL ON Now des IN ORDER To (MUTT, IF 1 KEPT OH,You'D i onan 11] OH BOY! it f ILITATE THEDIGGING -| PIGGING STRAIGHT | come out (HIP; aia AT'S by ; OF THIS WELL, WE'LL DOWN THROUGH [IN CAINA J MUTT, Look! Uj THT ii i (i AM 1 GONNA IN RELAYS! THE EARTH WHERE| _ OR J WHAT'S THIS COMIN' JAP! ART DY WOULD T CoME (\JAPAN! PR-tRou6H THE GROUND? il \ ouT? or fb A | "Well, \ , erything just as I left it twen- IOS al 2 LX | ty-years ago-" " WHAT OF Im? ~YOU AST ME WHAT ~ \ A SURE. 75 oney A BABY CARRIAGE SOMEONE. I$ SELLIN'! By GENE BYRNES i Te are an rn ra Lo > nen ~ in at pe -- ~ J i PE Ps Nar GE ST ma Gy wl wv Ad MI WER FE a We on a oY IT a cy - Tw a na Nn Shit SEL, oy Co ia w 25 erie re of, A rN