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N J- A x pis. 4 -, 7 pee 7 JUST IN FUN ... por That's Right "What does this expression 'Sez you' mean?" asked the judge. The clerk of the court replied: "My lord, it appears that this is a slang expression of American origin which has gained regret- table currency in the language of our people through the insidious agency of the cinema, and is, I am led to understand, employed to in- dicate a state of dubicty in the mind of the speaker as to the veracity or credibility of a state- ment made to him." "Oh yeah!" 'said the judge, ] Waiter A man who had been arrested on suspicion was appearing before the magistrate. "What were you doing when the policeman came?" asked the sergeant. "Waiting oir," replied the prisoner. "What were you waiting for?" "For money?" Who was to give you money?" "The man I had been waiting for." "What did he owe ft to you for?" "For waiting." "Enough of this tomfoolery," snapped the magistrate, who by now was very angry. "What do you do for a living?" "I'm a waiter sir," replied the innocent man. Shy She was a painter in water- eolors and very proud of her work; also her complexion was the envy of her acquaintances. At a party one night she sat next to a shy, awkward young man, who cudgelled his brains to find some- thing to say. She tried to open conversation with him. With becoming mod- esty she said: "I expect you have heard that I paint?" "Yes," he replied gallantly, look- ing at her face. "But I don't be- Heve it!" Why Should He « Working in a factory a man got his coat caught in a revolving wheel. He was whisked up and whirled round and round till the' foreman managed to switch off the machine. The workman fell to the ground and up rushed the foreman. "Speak to me, speak to me," he said in great agitation. The victim looked up. "Why should 1," he said. "I passed you six times just now, and you didn't speak to me!" Hard Enough While Firestone, Edison, Ford and Burroughs were touring a light and a tire on the car went wrong. Mr. Ford went into a store and said to the proprietor: "What kind of lights do you have?" "Ldison," was the reply. "And tires?" "Firestone." "You will be interested to know that Mr. Edison and Mr. Firestone are in my car, and that I am Henry Ford." As the man was putting on the tire Mr. Burroughs, who was well adorned with white whiskers, lean- ed out of the car, and the man looking at him, said: "If you tell me you're Santa Claus, I'll crown you with this spanner!" Poor Bait Father didn't approve of a lot of things which happened these days, especially did he dislike the modern modes. "Pah!" he snorted. "I don't know what the world's coming to. Let me tell you that your mother never dressed to catch a husband the way you girls today." But her daughter was ready for that one. "No," she replied, "and look what she got." Correct? Teacher: "Who can tell me what the former ruler of Russia was call- ed?" Class: "Czar." Teacher: "Correct, and what was his wife called?" Class: '"Czarina." Teacher: 'Correct, and what were the Czar's children called?" A pause, and then a small, timid voice piped up: "Czardines." A Tell-Tale Mother (at party): "Why did you allow Mr, Softly to kiss you in the conservatory?" Daughter: "Why, ma?" Mother: "Oh, you needn't 'why ma' mel One side of his nose is powdered and one side of yours isn't, and the people have noticed it." Crowded Boss: "You pant a raise? Why didn't you five within your means?" Employe: "I do, sir, but you don't realize how I am crowded for space." WORLD AT ITS WORST By GLUYAS WILLIAMS | ~ 0 mc, | | --esmtes------= Ay [3] TRYING TO AVOID THE TEMPTATION TO PEEK, WHEN PUTTING YOUR HUSBAND'S CLEAN SHIRTS AWAY IN THE DRAWER IN WHICH YOU KNOW HE HAS HIDDEN YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT - (Copyright, 1983, by The Bell Byndlosts, fos) Gills A-- {THIS CURIOUS WORLD FROM A (®- DESTRUCTIVE By William Ferguson ONE SECOND or FIREPOWER WARHAWIK FIGHTER PLANE IS MORE AN THE IMPACT OF AST TON TANAKA CRASHING INTO A CONCRETE WALL AT A SPEED OF JO MU/L ES AN /f7OUR, An appealing event at the Royal Winter Fair's Horse Show was the demonstration of shepherding by Wm. Martin, Maple Creek, Sask., and his three faithful and intelligent Border Collies VOICE OF THE PRESS = In Peace, Too . "Vkat a lot of us have forgotten is that while it is heroic to die for one's country in time of war, it is just as neccessary to live for one's county in time of peace. --Woodstock Sentinel-Review. Dangerous Suggestion Mr. America, we must assume from his press statements, is not a a married man, He advocates that girls, to regain curves, health and beauty, take to weight lifting. Such a wife might be a fit mate for Mr. America who weighs 205 pounds, all bone and muscle. But the aver- age husband will get from his state- ment only nightmares of coming home late some night to be clanked between the eyes by a 200-pound bar bell or some similar gadget used by weight lifters, A man wouldn't be safe in his own home. --Windsor Star A statistician tells us that it would take 19 centuries to spend a billion dollars at the rate of $1 a minute. So to keep our money from being eaten by moths we throw in a war every now and then, and get rid of the stuff at the rate of a billion a month, --Ottawa Citizen Ribbon Flood The War Department of the United States got off on the wrong foot by cheapening the system through authorizing wo many medals, It strikes at the value of all awards when a soldier can wear a line of six ribbons though he has never been within bomber range of the zone of action. --Detroit News. Here is Progress A bank in Dayton, Ohio, has set up a window at the side of its building so that motorists can drive up and make deposits or cash cheques without leaving thelr cars. --~Chatham News. If Ever It takes only one-fourth of a second to wink the eye--and years and years to explain it to the Missus. . --St. Catharines Standard. Glowing Headlights Night motorists who cannot, or will not, dim their headlights when approaching other cars have been responsible for innumerable accidents and many fatalities. Traffic courtesy saves lives. --Ottawa Journal. REPORT BABS HUTTON WILL WED AGAIN! Barbara Hutton, left, heiress to the Woolworth five-and-ten for- tune, will marry Count Alain D'Eudville, right, head of Moet and Chandon, world's largest champagne producers, according to the Spanish News Agency CIFRAS. She previously was married to Georgian Prince Alexis Mdivani; Count Haugwitz-Reventlow of Denmark, father of her 10-year-old son, Lance; and Cary Grant, screen star, Sugar Beet Industry Important To Sound, Permanent Agriculture Editor's note: A few weeks ago an article on the sugar beet Industry in the United States appeared on this page, Fol- lowing is a review of the in- dustry in the Province of Ontario, by MM. McIntyre Hood, Director of Publicity, Ontario Department of Agri- culture, After reaching a low ebb in the year 1041, the sugar beet industry of Ontario has since that year showed a steady upward trend, and this year of 1946 has seen a sub- stantial measure of recovery, with the largest acreage and the larg- est production within a six year period. The recovery is by no means complete, nor has produc- tion returned to its pre-war levels, but the movement in the growing of sugar beets for processing into sugar has been definitely upward, thanks partly to the subsidies paid by thc Ontario Government, and it is hoped that within the next two or three years it will have re- turned to normal proportions, so that the full capacity for the manu- facture of sugar from beets in the factories of Southwestern Ontario may be utilized. World Shortage of Sugar The production of sugar the world over has for the last few years been far short of require- ments. For the whole year of 1045, the shortage of sugar as compared with the normal requirements of the world reached the staggering total of 2,400,000 long tons. In the face of that situation, and with little improvement effected in 1946, it is essential that every sugar-pro- ducing area in the world do its best to increase production. So far as Canada is concerned, it is im- perative that this country produce as much as possible of its own sugar needs, so that it will draw a correspondingly smaller amount from the sadly diminished world sugar pool. Normally, Canada pro- duces only about 20 per cent of its own requirements of about one bil- lion pounds a year, but that per- centage is attained only at the maximum production. Since 1941, sugar beet production has been far below normal, although since 1943 it has shown steady increase. Ontario's Sugar Plants There are in Southwestern On- tario two sugar plants, one at Chatham and one at Wallaceburg, operated by 'the Canada and Do- minion Sugar Company, Limited. Since 1941, only one of the plants has been able to operate, because there have not been enough sugar beets grown to operate them both. It takes 200,000 tons of beets to operate the Wallaceburg plant at capacity and 240,000 tons for the Chatham plant. This year there was still a lack of sufficient sugar beets to operate the two plants, although the pro- duction was much better than in 1045, The total acreage for 1946, of sugar beets, was 23,375 acres, compared with 17,660 acres planted in 1945. This acreage provided a crop for 1946 of 210,000 tons of beets, or 8.98 tons per acre, as com- pared with 164,000 tons, or an aver- age of 9.30 tons per acre in the previous year. While the situation has been im- proved to the extent indicated by the above figures, it is not yet good enough, This season's beet crop is all being processed at the Chatham plant of the Canada and Dominion Sugar Company, and will provide sufficient raw material for a run of about 80 days dura- tion, which is approximately five- sixths of a full capacity run. Cur- rentiestimates, on the basis of sugar content, are for an output of 55,- 000,000 pounds of granulated sugar, about 10,000 or 11,000 tons of dried beet pulp, and from 1,500 to 1,800 tons of molasses. Good Rotation Crop For this year's crop, growers are receiving approximately $13.00 per ton for beets delivered to the fac- tories, and $12.25 per won for beets delivered to outside points. This makes the gross value of the crop per acre $117.00 and $110.00 re- spectively, so that with 23,376 acres planted, the sugar beet crop represents approximately two and three quarter million dollars to the growers in Southwestern Ontario. This sugar beet industry is of great importance to a sound and permanent agriculture in South- western Ontario, It is a good crop for the farmers to grow, as part of their rotation, because it feeds and cleans up the soil and leaves it in excellent condition for other crops. It also plays its part in providing a longer working sea- son for farm labour, providing em- ployment at seasons of the year when other work is not available on the farm. It is also important to the industrial life of the South- western section of the Province, since the operation of the sugar - processing plants means consider- able employment in the Chatham area. The Answer So the final answer to the ques- tlon--how do we pay our way in the world--is the perfectly obvious one--by working. Grand champion silver fox at the live fox and mink show Calgary, from Montgomery Fur Farms, Wetaskiwin, Alta. Berlin Holiday Berlin's children will get a five weeks' holiday from school i Christmas--from Dec. 21 to Ja g4--as a coal conservation mea- sue, it was announced there, CHEST COLDS, :-.. GENTLE RELIEF un J)UCKLEY'S Faster Penetrating WHITE RUB FOR How to Combat RHEUMATIC PAIN Rheumatic pains may often be caused by excess uric acid, a blood impurity that should be extracted by the kidneys. If kidneys fail, and excess uric acid remains, it may cause severe discomfort and pain. Treat rheumatic pains by keeping your kidneys in good condition. Get and use Dodd's Kidney Pills. Dodds help your kidneys get rid of trouble-making poisons and excess acids--help you feel better. See what Dodd's can do for you. 137 Meco Hydraulic Concrete No better equipment made A Client Wrote:-- "We visited plants In Montreal, Ot- tawa, Toronto, Detroit and Chicago, and saw no blocks ain good as those made on the MECO Press." ENGINEERING CO., LTD. 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