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LANE NEEL? UE ANAL SI y \ Aad FAL FN CA VE | t..°5d 48 Yr 3) ] 393 J PLBRIAR: RAZ. RCS Dedede Riehddd REAR TEINS AC IAT RIA SEY RIF SRSOT WINER S72 FE 2 2 me nL ARIA ATA 0) ISHII RR, PRPS BNR HDI FRR: RA 0 hi io! PORT PERRY ST v a a 4' stomach just bulging with good oy Hi pa sticking straight up in the air. | think he belched, or was it a spot of turbulence? He seemed to have a happy smile on his face. = | remembered those ads, 'Fly C.P.A.""* Maybe " [a a MOC they were not ads, maybe they were a warning. , Or could it be an error on the part of the catering department? | had steak on my plate, | had RI nt -e *» . butter on my plate, and | had a fly on my plate. J It's not that | have a phobia. | think there is way to Vancouver. With all due respect to my Did they think this was how to make butter-fly bee something wrong with people wha have phobias, old enemy | say, "That is the only way to fly." steak? Ae whether it's claustrophobia, hydrophobia, or The accomodation is beautiful, gracious and But what was it the fly had died of? Now | was ¢ i some other manic phobia. I'm sure it's all in spacious, and let me tell about the food. worried. | called the steward and explained my $l their heads. But if there is one thing | hate, it's | was starving. We boarded the plane at 9:30 problem. The steward, his name was Joe, boli flies. a.m. at Ontario International Airport, flight apologized and offered another meal. | declined. HE Flies are not indifferent to me, either. Now number 81, and, in no time, they brought our He offered a liquer, | declinded. He offered to duit that | live in the country | notice this more than meal. It. was steak, juicy, hot and tender. | switch us to first class and | declinded. - He did ASE ever. If someone opens a door to the outside and chewed the first mouthful and thought, *'Airline not seem to understand my real concern. What ora I am in the room, the flies, gathered outside for a meals are not supposed to be this memorable," did the fly die of? What did the autopsy show? Fr & & mass onslaught, roar in like kamikaze pilots, and but | was really hungry and C.P. Air had done a | sat very quietly the rest of the trip, waiting 3s without looking at the other occupants of the . great jobso | cut another piece of steak. Lovely, for the steward to come burrying down the Er room they descend on me like...like flies. Lovely, Lovely! | was happy, and so was the fly. passage to ask me, "Sir, everyone is ill, can you Vd Now | know that flies are not going to kill me, | He was really a handsome fellow, and there he fly a plane?' But they managed fine without {or know they are not going to wound me, | know lay, flat on his back in my gravy, his little me WE they are not going to fly up my nose, everybody oe) tells me that. But nobody can tell me what they {<A & °c have in mind. And | do know they land on my sr head, my face, my hands, everywhere on me TR and then they just sit there looking at me, and hs glowering. EY lgraba newspaper, a flyswatter, a chair, and (ot & 0% DISC ov i ih A start flailing at them. Sometimes | have to jump . - : ret on the mantelpiece and lash out from there but ; ie eventually, given time, | have cleared the room of flies. This sometimes necessitates my giving ¥ % up all hope of meeting my publisher's deadline, or, stopping for my supper or bed, but such , mortal combat I'm sure everyone understands. PORT PERRY PLAZA - PORT PERRY - ONTARIO PHONE 985-3322 The only time my crusade against flies causes any raised eyebrows is when the old hot water bottle and | are visiting friends. The sight of me Sale Effective October 13th to 18th flailing a chair around their heads can be disconcerting but our friends seldom object _ © unless we are playing bridge at the time. in | am not without skill in my fly killing a N ¥ methods. Given a fly swatter | can kill a fly perched on the edge of a china teacup without Greed even touching the cup, and if someone is in the STORE HOURS a process of conveying the cup to his or her lips at Monday to Saturday - 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. lL the time he'll get a first hand opportunity to Sunday - 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. % remark on my skill. Let me spy a fly sitting in Ei the sugar bowl and I'll guarantee I'll kill the fly . A ¥ and barely disturb the sugar. On those rare ak moments when a fly lands on someone elses SWAN LIQUID a forehead instead of mine he'll hardly notice me SURF Detergent 7 © a kill it. The best place of all is a fly on someone's For Dishes 5k nose. |'ll get that fly before the nose's owner 5 1b. 5. "even notices it's there. The only difficulty is . $ ; . 24 fl.oz. ¢ [AN when the fly is perched on the edge of a nostril. Special . Made i Then | have to kill the fly without driving it up. n Special Bi Most times | can do that, the few times | havent rs my wife and | usually have to go home early. J Recently | noticed that C.P. Air was running 8' ) an ad, "FLY C.P.A."" | don't know whether that 2 ~was an inducement to the flies or to me but my BR EAD HUMPTY DUMPTY ae . g wife decided it was an inducement to her, and the 2% M | LK [AN " 1" . Vie next thing | knew we were aboard a /747"' on our White Sliced oo POTATO CHI PS Hh 3 qt. bag ; yi 24 oz. ¢ ¢ 8.8 oz. ¢ fei Special 23 Special Special hi SCUGOG PLUMBING ; tof .@ NEW INSTALLATIONS 13 NE e REPAIRS & ALTERATIONS Pennyworth LUX i eo REASONABLE RATES M SUG AR i BATHROO Beauty Soap Ed Special Rates for Senior Citizens. BOX 966 - PORT PERRY 985-3837 rr ab ~ oF Tals LR - T-- a TISSUE 2 pam si 4 pack 59* Special 73 Special 59° Special Vote a3 ATTENTION FARMERS! || TE WHY PAY MORE? 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