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\b NY \ NE aN = ee g 7 * --_ ER SHEE "7% yy 4 ' V RE - " "IF 1m My own 4 4 Za How comE I'M NEVER 7 'CONSULTED /4 AA LJ -- A erBox by J. Peter Hvidsten This column is dedicated to my friends...or Inavte, my "so.called" friends would describe them tter. Did you ever notice how your friends are forever taking little digs at your looks. and personality? Mine do it very consistently! "Hey, shorts", is one friend's favourite way of beckoning me. Be it on the phone, or on the street, he is always consistent. Hell, I'm not so small...I can think of at least two other guys in town that I can look down on. "Had one person ask me why most of my friends were short guys, to which I replied sarcastically - "Cause it makes me feel tall." could do about my height, so I thought I would start somewhere else. After many sleepless nights, I decided to grow a moustache. i For a week or so, I watched intensely every face that passed me on the street, looking for a style of duster I would like to grow. About two weeks latér, having not really decided, I just started to let it grow. And grow it did! ' nose that I could strain my soup through. But just when my ego was starting to get up...I had it deflated. One morning a delightful woman passed me and exclaimed, '"Oh Peter, isn't that cute...it looks just like a cuddly little caterpillar." Friends...bah! I stormed into my office, picked up a mirror and stared at my growth. "Wadda-ya-mean, caterpillar, looks pretty good to me," I thought out loud. Being happy with the progress personally, I decided that it was time for phase two of my overhaul, Contact lenses! % As you can see, the cost of this miraculous change was going to start getting expensive. A moustache you can grow pretty cheap..but the lenses, well they're expensive. Having wanted to shed my glasses for years, and after breaking the frames in a basketball game recently, plus the fact I wanted a change...I got up the nerve to set up an-@ppointment, I had always admired Clarke Kent in those Superman movies. He could whip off his glasses and take-off into the wide blue yonder without having to worry about seeing. If ole Clarke had eyes like mine, . Anyway, a couple of months ago F decided it was. : time to change my image. There was not much I Why within two weeks I had a growth under my - stood proudly in its cardboard container, roots . ~Newman." Now there is a girl with class. Although 'shoes. : I knew that just by getting contacts...I would not be able to fly, but it was a part of my big change. Having made an appointment, my new eyes were installed, and there I was...a new man. Then came some more of those friendly digs. "I didn't know you had baby blue eyes." The urge to kill. } "I never noticed how red your eyes get after you've had a few drinks." . From where I was standing, theirs didn't look any better. . One of the best ones, came from a girl who had some style. When asked by a friend how she liked my contact lenses, she replied, '""He's got eyes like Paul I've never really paid much attention 'to Paul Newman's eyes, I figured they must look pretty good. Now that I've ridded myself of glasses, and grown a moustache, my next plans are for a hair transplant and surgery, to have my legs lengthened. . This decision came about recently having heard Heather, the nice young girl that works in the front office of the Star, tell a friend that I had gone out for a haircut. " ; The reply on the other end...*"What for? He hasn't got much hair. Sure is taking a chance, isn't he?" Then she went on to say something about elevated Friends...who needs the aggravation. Received a nicely printed, oblong box in the mail last week, and was a little bewildered why. i It wasn't my birthday, and I had not done anything so nice for anyone lately, that I deserved a gift. , ' Examining the box closer, it bore the label of the Abitibi people. A company that deals largely in pulp and paper products. ' . . In the bottom right hand corner, a bright red florescent label with black orint. which read - "Fragile - Live Tree". 3 enough, when I opened the box, inside was a live white spruce. No shade tree by any means, standing only about seven inches high, but there it 7 i . 2 2% Z 4 2 % 2 wrapped in a plastic bag. Along with the instructions for planting, was material aimed at telling what the company. does to help the growth of these. trees, which were largely responsible for our paper products in Canada. Not a bad advertising gimmick. I've already planted my tree. SE LIQUOR CONTROL BOARD, Yl "property give reasons that are, to = Chimo hunts for friendly neighbours Chimo Youth Services Inc., a non-profit organiz- ation that has had some good results with their program of working with emotionally. disturbed young people, has adhered to its principle of not operating in areas where it is not wanted and withdrawn its application for a rezoning that would have allowed the establishment of a yough group home on the Murray House property, across from IGA parking lot. Township council approved. the zoning change by a vote of 4-2 a month ago, but the circulation of the proposed zoning change--required by law to all residents within an area of 400 feet of the property-- revealed considerable opposition. - In view of this opposition, Chimo backed 'off, indicating it wants "full support of the neighbours" before establishing such a home. ; Council, complying with Chimo's withdrawal, repealed the zoning change bylaw. : Chimo, encouraged by council's co-operative attitude, sees hope in establishing the group home elsewhere in the community. The group has interpreted local reaction to the proposed youth home with some optimism, and is convinced that their long search for a community willing to-accept the home is over. According to one Chimo official, several other communities have been approached only to have the door slammed in their face. Scugog will be different, the organization apparently feels, describing Scugog -- as 'a first-rate community" because of its compar- atively moderate opposition to the home. It is a' compliment that will yet have to be earned. The letters of objection -on--the-Murray "House say the least, suspect. . ' w--_ 50) "Perhaps the. main reason given .is.that 'the _ location on main street, across from a grocery store parking lot, is unsuitable. 2 : One wonders...unsvitable for who? Certainly Chimo, with its many years of experi- ence working with young people, can make a more' qualified judgment of what is suitable and what isn't when it is the disturbed youths that are the prime concern. - And who would argue (openly) that the welfare of these troubled young people shouldn't be the prime concern? That the individual is more important than trade, commerce, and the pursuit of profit? What the pessimist will suspect, then, is that Chimo's proposed neighbours everywhere will find the same euphemistic logic for opposing the proposed. new neighbour. Chimo, on the other hand, chooses to be optimis- tic. It will keep looking for a new site and friendly neighbours. We wish them all the luck in the world. Objection not only criterion Coun. Reg Rose may have appeared to be nit-picking at last Tuesday's meeting in his efforts to get a wording change in the bylaw repealing Chimo's requested rezoning, but the point Rose was trying to make is-a good one. : The objectional segment of the repealing bylaw that Rose wanted de-emphasized was a clause that indicated council was taking action because 11 letters -of objections had been received from neighbours at the proposed Chimo site. Not so, pointed out Rose." Council was taking the action mainly because Chimo withdrew its applic- -ation, and not on the mere fact that 11 people had objected. The point, of course, is that stopping a develop- ment isn't just a matter of registering objection. By changing the wording of the repealing bylaw, Rose in fact stated that council's duty isn't" simply to collect and count letters of objection. Instead, it is council's job to decide if the - objections are valid. Only if and when such a validity has been proven should council act. (7)