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4 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, July 24, 1984 v " | wanD our ABour 250 POLITICAL PLUMS AN DON'T EVEN RATE AN APPOINTMENT Rerro-0aN car wasy 1 editorial comments iL] chatterb OX by Cothy Robb MOVIE MADNESS I'll bet I go to more movies more often than anyone else in town. I mean it. I'll bet anybody five bucks (so okay, I'm cheap) that I've seen more movies in the past year and a half than they have. I betcha I've seen more movies than the guy who reviews them for the Toronto Sun. George what"s-his- name. You know who I mean. The only person around who could remotely match me for movie volume is this guy I go out with 'cause I usually go to these movies with him. We don't have a lot in common, me and him. He's a health nut and I'm nuts about junk food. He's in love with his and I can't even add. He delivers beer for a living, gets paid lots of dough, makes us go dutch on dates and complains he doesn't get paid enough. Then turns around and buys new cars every six months. I deliver words and pictures for a living and com- plain about how much he gets paid for throwing around a bunch of beer cases. I've driven the same Lada for three years. You might say my boyfriend doesn't understand me. But that's okay, see, 'cause we do have one thing in common. We both love movies. It's really neat because we can go out for an evening, see a show, and not have to talk to each other. And voila! No arguements, no heavy discussions. We can sit in the dark together with eyes fixed straight ahead and not say boo. We don't even have to look at each other. We have such fun when we go out. The only problem is, we have totally different tastes when it comes to movies. He likes science fiction flicks like Return of Star Wars from the Planet of the Apes or Conan the Barbaric Jerk. His favourite movie of all time was Hercules. Really. Now, I think I've got better taste. I like intelligent to see), The Bij; Chill, Moscow on the Hudson or The Natural. Great stuff. The good ones move something inside you. The bad ones leave a big blank spot in your brain where you're free to think about your dirty laundry. But fair is fair, so we take turns. It's his choice one night and mine the next. I suffer through Deathstalker. He suffers through Educating Rita. Every once in a while, we actually agree on a movie, as we did with a Ghostbusters, Footloose and Splash, but most of the time it's squabble city. Until, that is, we get to the theatre. Then we can sit quietly and ignore each other. It's great. No romance. No hassles. All that emo- tional stuff is on the screen ---- we can watch it with movies like Terms of Endearment (which he refused - cool hearts knowing we don't have to get involved. It's just like living in New York. At any rate, we see more than our fair share of movies. Hardly a week goes by that we don't see at least one flick. Two movies a week isn't unusual and I can recall on more than one occasion seeing a movie, Fri- day, Saturday and Sunday nights. And then, of course, there's double features. A par- ticular favourite of ours. Some couples recall "Our Song."' We recall 'Our Movie." So we see a lot of movies, you know? You name it, and I've seen it. Except foreign flicks. My movie part- ner doesn't get into subtitles so we pretty well stick to the English stuff. Are you still with me? In case you're wondering what all this is leading to, relax. It's all merely an in- troduction to Robb's Review, sort of a catch-all of what movies you should and shouldn't see this summer. And I mean it -- five bucks goes out to anyone who thinks they've seen more movies than me. One fin per customer, please. ROBB"S REVIEW (The following are in no particular order) MOSCOW ON THE HUDSON: What happens when a pudgy Russian defects in a tacky American depart- ment store? He gets homesick, natch, and drinks lots of vodka. My Lada loved this one. ROMANCING THE STONE: We've heard of homosexuals, transexuals, bisexuals and all-round weir- dos but, come on, who's going to see a flick about a chick falling in love with a rock? Of course if it's a diamond she can say it's just her best friend. BIG CHILL: What not to see in an air-conditioned - ~ theatre. FIRESTARTER: What to see in case you do. CONAN THE DESTROYER: I didn't want to see this one, honest. I was dragged and it literally destroyed me. CANNONBALL RUN II: Really not a bad flick if you like car chases. It's one redeeming feature is Burt Reynolds. SPINAL TAP: Thee definite movie on rock stars. Best seen when drunk or stoned. GHOSTBUSTERS: The best movie I've seen all summer. | want to marry Bill Murray. 'Nuff said. WHERE THE BOYS ARE: I wish I knew. FOOTLOOSE: Make sure your ankles are on tight and you won't have a problem. This is the Flashdance of 1984. Dress accordingly. THE NATURAL: Robert Redford can do no wrong. Neither can this movie. It's a natural for next year's Oscar nominations. (Turn to page 6) "Where's ~~ The John? Some merchants along the lakefront and Queen Street corridors are getting mad. Mad because they are having to provide washroom facilities for visitors to the park, because the Township refuses to open the Lat- cham Centre washrooms during the busy weekends. it may be argued that there are washrooms at the ball diamond which are open 24 hours a day, and the facilities at Birdseye Pool are open dung hours of opera- tion, but this is not enough. The majority of visitors to Palmer Memorial Park hold their picnics, sunbathe and swim in the area from Queen Street to the old ball diamond. The opening of the Latcham Centre washrooms is crucial to the hygiene of this area. We fully realize that vandalism in the past is one of the reasons why the washroom facilities at the Latcham Centre are not open to the public on a consistent basis. But this is not a strong enough excuse to keep them closed. Port Perry is situated on Lake Scugog with a public park along its lakefront. We encourage visitors and locals alike to use and enjoy our facilities. And hundreds of peo- ple flock here each weekend to take advantage of the beautiful surroundings. If we are going to continue to encourage the use of our parks, then it is our duty to provide those same peo- ple with convenient properly marked washroom facilities. We know there will be more vandalism. It's a sad fact of life that there are a minority of people out there who get their thrills by destroying public property.-But we must not let them dictate the needs of the majority. We live in a democratic society and the necessities of the masses should not be cut-off by so few. Vandals are a curse to every community, and no doubt they will damage our washrooms. But it is our responsibility to provide the facilities and fix them. Let's not forget that we live in a modern society and washrooms are no longer considered a luxury. They are a necessity and if we continue to provide a public park, we had better be prepared to provide proper washroom facilities for our visitors. Rear Guard Action Is John Turner ¢atting a bum rap? Ever since our new Prime Minister patted Liberal party president lona Campagnolo on her derriere last week we've been hearing nothing but griping from reporters and feminists. A Kitchener feminist group has invented the "Turner Shield" to stop the PM from "giving women's issue a bum rap," a reversible form-fitting green bristol board . shield with pink wool belt. The group has mailed the in- vention out to all female federal election candidates. The shields sell for a buck and are already selling like hotcakes. "Women don't want to be patted on their bum, or their heads," commented one spokesperson. "They don't want to be patronized physically or mentally. At least this (the shield) will protect women's backsides." lona Campagnolo meanwhile, her True Grit over- powering her feminist instincts, has been laughing the whole thing off. "It's all very funny," she said. "What will we call it, Mr. Turner's Common Touch?" She says the furor will actually garner more votes for the deft-handed Mr. Turner, rather than hurt his chances on September 4. She believes that everything these days is so high-tech and heartless that Mr. Turner's little bit of warmth and humour will help him at the polls. Of course, Flora MacDonald doesn't think too much of Turner's actions. The long-standing Tory says the bum-patting incident is "an attitude of an aging juvenile ' NDP MP Lynn McDonald said "| would rather t!.at Mr. Turner grab our imaginations than our behinds." But he has. With one simple bum-pat, Mr. Turner has manag- ed to glean more press, and more imaginative press, than any other candidate so far. He may have made a few people, notably women, angry but he has certainly caught their attention. No longer can he be confused with Conservative leader Brian Mulroney. Mulroney's the one with the chin and Turner's the one with the hands. a m-- ATA 5 ym PI 5 % Sa Ai addon pr Ra - py;