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NHL, A __--., 4 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, March 5, 1985 ditorial comments The Little Things Back about a year ago, when Pierre Trudeau told the country he would be getting out of politics, a lot of Canadians, Liberals included, heaved a sigh of relief. He had become the man everyone loved to hate. Rather than.a handful of major issues that were the focus of our collective dislike, it was more an ongoing com- bination of little things that galvanized the displeasure with the man and his politics. Bilingualism, metrification, expansion of the civil ser- vice, runaway government spending, arrogance, petulance, the way he appeared to look down his nose at average Canadians, all these things and more heaped on top of each other turned the nation against the man. Last September, when Brian Mulroney led his Con- servatives to the largest Parliamentary majority in Cana- dian history, the sheer magnitude of the dislike for Trudeau and the Liberals came sharply into focus. Mulroney promised a change: not just in major policies for the nation, but in those all important little things like style, leading by example, and so on. Mulroney has had his fair share of problems over the past six months, but that's to be expected. Last week, however, the Government tabled its 1985-86 spending estimates, which show that in the com- ing year $105.4 BILLION will filter through the Ottawa cash registers, the largest sum ever in a single year. And it's a 7.3 per cent hike over the previous year. Robert de Cotret, the minister responsible for the treasury board, called the increase "'modest" and said it would have been much higher were it not for a lot of spending cuts. Well, you can draw your own conélusions about what's "modest" these days. And after you take infla- tion out, it's true, the increase is just a "little one." Buried in the estimates is money to expand the staff in the Prime Minister's Office from 90 to 120, and of course that is going to cost more money. In fact, it will cost $6.7 million, a hike of $2.3 million over the previous year when Trudeau was in power. Mulroney justified the new bodies around his office by saying they are necessary because two government ministries had been eliminated. He also said it would be temporary. Temporary? Hmmm. We wonder. We also wonder about the promise of lean and trim government. Mulroney is saying the PMO needs a little bit of a staff increase just for the time being. Staff cuts were made in two departments, then brought back in another. As for the extra $2.3 million it will cost next year to run the PMO, Mulroney says that just represents 6/100 of one per cent of total government spending, a miniscule figure, to be sure, when presented in that context. Oh, those 'little things" that Government and prime ministers do. A little more here, a little more there, who would ever notice? Pierre Trudeau tried to foist the little things off on the Canadian people, and they all caught up to him. Brian Mulroney has not been in office long enough for the little things to add up to something big enough to cause him a pile of grief. But he's working on it. He's working on it. The vote last September 4 was a watershed in the " political and sociological development of this country. Canadians, who are among the most patient people in the world demonstrated with a vengeance that when pushed around long enough, they will lash out in anger. The nation said, 'hold it, enough is enough.' Brian Mulroney is a long way now from feeling the anger of the people in Canada the way his predecessor did. The trap has not been sprung, it is not even set yet. But the little things are starting to add up for Mulroney and the Conservatives. Canadian aren't snarl- ing the way they did a year ago, but they showed what happens when pushed into a corner once too often. Silence Ernst Zundel is now a household name in Canada, thanks mainly to a seven week trial in Toronto which found him guilty of knowingly publishing material which causes social or racial unrest. Zundel claims the Nazi Holocaust never existed, claims that millions of Jews did not die in concentration camps. His trial gave him a ready-made platform to spout his absurd views, a million dollars worth of publicity. Court action may be one way of dealing with the likes of Zundel. Ignoring him is another. Which is why this editorial is now over. -- 1) WELL, JOE, HOw ABOUT MAKING THIS TIME OF NO BEER. .. THE TIME OF NO BEER BELLY... ONLY Ii i | el : alls) S agp 1 een nwo CRREY STR: 86 a fh chatterbox by Cathy Robb THE PAPA SYNDROME Remind me never to have a baby, okay? Those little runts may be cute, but they do nothing but cause havoc. Witness Peter Hvidsten, the publisher of this award-winning scandal sheet, who has the worst case of The Papa Syndrome I've ever seen. Last Sunday morning he and his wife Nancy welcomed their first son into the world, wee Matthew Taylor, and nothing has been the same ever since. "It's not Matthew's fault, of course. Who can blame a sweet little guy like him? No, it's the disease Peter contracted the moment Matthew was born. The dread- ed Papa Syndrome. Known for turning a sane man into a raving lunatic, the Syndrome has Peter by the throat. Even worse, there's no cure for the condition except time ---- maybe. In most cases, a few months of screaming, two o'clock feedings and dirty diapers is enough to ease the symptoms of the Syndrome. But it's not always enough. In Peter's case, I don't think anything is enough. I mean, this guy has got.it, but good. With two girls already to his credit, Peter was hop- ing against hope for a boy (although, personally, I don't understand why anyone would want a male when females are so much nicer). With a boy, he figured he could live out all his childhood fantasies about being a father. You know, like buying train sets (which he is planning to do as soon as he can find one he likes) and hanging around the hockey rinks. Real macho stuff. A few months ago he went out and bought himself a pair of skates. Why? So he could practise up for the time when his son would be old enough to play hockey and he'd be there to show him how it's done. Is that in- sane, or am I worked up about nothing? What happens if Matthew wants to be a ballet dancer when he grows up? Will Peter be disappointed, or what? But that's not all. Since Matthew was born Peter has been totally useless around the office. Especially on Monday, the day after he was born and the busiest day of the week. Monday is production day, a hectic 12 hours of put- ting the paper together, requiring everyone's full atten- tion and enthusiasm. Last Monday, however, nobody was enthused about anything expect Peter and Nancy's new baby. Especial- ly Peter. We were forced to raise the ceiling a few feet because he was floating so high. When he wasn't scurrying back and forth to the hospital, we'd see him staring off into space with goofy looks on his face, no doubt imagining his son as the next Wayne Gretzky. Jokingly, we told him that HE should be on mater- nity leave, not Nancy, since he was so useless. But he was in such a daze, I don't think he even heard us. And by the time Wednesday rolled around, his con- dition hadn't improved a bit. We were going through the paper, noting all our mistakes, when suddenly he stop- ped what he was saying and gazed off at some point on the wall behind me. "You know," he mumbled, his eyes moist behind his glasses and semi-crossed, 'I can't believe I have a son. I really can't believe I'm a father again. At one point I thought I wouldn't have any more children and then boom, I've got a son." He grinned a lopsided grin, a real looney-tune. Maybe when Matthew asks for the car keys the first time Peter will snap out of it. I've got my fingers crossed. WHAT'S THAT PERFUME? Remember my sister Whiz, the twerp I write about sometimes? Yeah, well about two years ago (this is real hot-off- the-press news) she twisted her foot and put a hairline fracture in one of her bones (foot-bones ---- don't ask "me which one). For some reason the darn thing never healed so about a month ago doctors took a chunk of bone from her good foot and put it (along with a pin) in the bad foot. Which is all very nice and her foot has lived happi- ly ever after. Unfortunately, she's still wearing a cast ---- the same cast she has had since she left the hospital a month ago. Now imagine this cast for a moment. Imagine all that bacteria reproducing inside the plaster. Imagine the smell. . Take that smell and wrap it in a plastic bag, which is what Whiz does when she walks outside to prevent the cast from getting wet. Now, walk around in that plastic bag for six or seven hours and imagine the greenhouse effect on all those smelly bacteria. Nice, huh? Last Saturday me and Whiz went shopping, and after about six or seven hours of walking around, she decided to try on some baggy pants (that would go over her cast) in one of the trendier clothing stores. When she went irito the change room, maybe three or four other women were trying things on. About nor- mal for a Saturday. Anyways, Whiz went into a little cubicle, where she discovered she had to take the plastic bag off to get the pants on. Well, about the time she took the bag off, a perfume that smelled like the socks of twenty corpses began to (Turn to page 6)