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Port Perry Star, 22 May 1985, p. 5

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the (C CNA PORT PERRY STAR -- Wed. May 22, 1985 -- § J. PETER HVIDSTEN Publisher Advertising Manager PORT PERRY STRE (OQ (MUTED 135 Quttn STREE! PO 80L 00 POET OtRRY ONTARC LOB InC 40 98% 738) (& cn (= | Member ot the J.B. McCLELLAND Canadian Community Newspaper Association Editor and Ontario Community Newspaper Association Published every Tuesday by the CATHY ROBB News & Features Port Perry Star Co Ltd, Port Perry. Ontario Authorized as second class mail by the Post Office Department. Ottawa. and for cash payment RIZE WIN; i C al nh? MUN of postage in cash Second Class Mail Registration Number 0265 Subscription Rate: In Canada $15.00 per year. Elsewhere $45.00 per year. Single copy 35* © COPYRIGHT -- All layout and composition of advertisements produced by the advertising department of the Port Perry Star Company Limited are protected under copyright and may not be reproduced without the written permission of the publishers letters Fair pageant blatant sexism Dear Sir: If Mr. Deeth is "after... somebody to sell our fair, to be a goodwill am- bassador," why. is his goodwill limited to "female, single and bet- ween the ages of 18 and 23?" Maybe the reason there has not been a Port Perry Fair Queen Pageant in fifteen years 1S because. todays generation will not tolerate such a blantant form of sexism. Perhaps if Mr. Deeth wants to view 'a whole herd of fine looking fillies,"" he should drive down to Winfield Farms. Public Today young women Sincerely, have many opportunities Nora Richards, to "prove themselves" R.RA4, without being reduced to Sunderland.- a carnival sideshow. STARDAZE meeting remember when? 60 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 21, 1925 A Silver Medal Contest was held in the Town Hall under the auspices of the Women's Christian Temperence Union. The contest was in both music and elocution. In music Helen Willard, Helen Clark and Dorothy Davey competed. The winner was Helen Willard. In elocution Dorothea Nasmith, Helen Vickery, Marjorie Real and Beverley Smallman competed. The winner was Marjorie Real. The Young Peoples League of the United Church held their annual election of officers for the coming year. President Grant McMillan; 1st Vice - Helen Lucas; 2nd Vice - Mrs. E. Jackson; 3rd Vice - Elmer Mitchell; 4th Vice - Louise Carnegie; Secretary - Mabel Somerville. Port Perry Public School results of the Third Sessional Exams Third Class, the top student was Esther Turner with 841 marks. Maximum marks were 900. In Senior Second, Eric Nasmith, was top with 652 marks, maximum was 750. In Junior Se- cond, Roswell Wakeford was top with 510 marks "out of a possible 700. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 18, 1950 The 15th Annual Open day was held in Port Perry Public School. Mr. R.H. Cornish, principal, welcomed everyone. The musical programme was under the direction of Mrs. Elsie Dobson with the assistance of Mrs. E. Jackson. There were selec- tions from all grades. The Port Perry Lions Club celebrated their twelfth Annual Charter night. In the absence of the President Mr. Jim Crane, Jack Helm ably took the chair. The speaker for the evening was the Rev. Mr. Mellow, who was introduced by Dr. Dymond. At the Ontario County Achievement day held at the United Church, Uxbridge, the follawing from Port Perry received certificates for having completed two units, Yvonne Milner, Jean Samells, Mrs. Don Gerrow, and Kay Prentice of Port Perry. } Miss Jean Werry, R.N. of Blackstock has ac- cepted a position at Kirkland Lake. 25 YEARS AGO Thursday, May 19,1960 : At the Wednesday night banquet for the Lady Bowlers, the Frank Hastings trophy was won by Gloria Hastings with a high average of 204. High Triple in the first section was won by Dorothy (Turn to page 6) on schools The Durham Board of _ Education will hold public meetings across the region to present the goals of its Convert, Build, Sell (CBS) Facilities plans and allow members of the public to contribute their ideas and suggestions with regard to facilities planning. Facilities planning is an on-going process which permits detailed review of facility needs in the region, an oppor- tunity for input by Trustees, Board staff and concerned local residents and the study of the impact of shifting enrolment and other factors. For more information on CBS Facilities plann- ing or on the public meetings, contact Board Planner Steve Edwards, : ' 576-4600, ext. 225. The dates, times and places of the public meetings for Scugog is June 3 at 7:00 p.m. in Cornish School. by Bev Silverman THE SECOND TIME AROUND On our first honeymoon, Hubbie and I went to Niagara Falls , the honeymoon capital. I mean where else? We had a whole day to spend together before settl- bill smiley Pp RIGHT IN THE EYE! ing down to the happily-ever-afterscene. "wo With this thought in mind, we decided we were going to give it our best shot and make this one day last. . May Ist 1960 wasn't exactly the warmest day of the year. In fact, I could have sworn we had been married December 30th instead of April 30th. We spent our precious time huddled together for warmth, our teeth chattering like castonets. Standing by the rail, we wat- If ever you decide to do some research on the lower forms of wit, I can tell you how to go about it. Just get yourself a black eye. I had a doozer one time. My wife gave it to me. All right. Not that way. She was sitting in the car, waiting for me to carry the groceries into the house through the rain. Just as I bent and reached for the car door to open it and ask her if that was all, she opened it smartly from the inside to ask me why I hadn't brought out an umbrella. When the door nailed me in the eye, I thought I was a goner. My wife shrieked and ran straight into the house to see whether my 'loss of limb or eye" accident policy was paid up. Within a few minutes, the eye was the size and col- or of a bartender's beezer. But by the time we'd finish- ed arguing about whose fault it had been, it was obvious that I'd live. We didn't have a piece of steak, and if we'd had, I doubt that it would have been sacrificed. But the Old Girl, bless her, dug out some hamburg that was going a bit blue, and made me lie down with a big hamburg poultice on the injured optic. Right off the ice, it felt pretty good at that, and I dropped off to sleep, moaning but brave. During the night, the bandage worked loose, and when I woke in the dark. I thought the eye had fallen out. But it was only hamburg, all over the pillow. Next morning. the orb looked like a purple golf ball. We patched it up as best we could, and I set off to face the wits. The comments were hilarious. They ranged from the simple, dry brilliance of "Hoo Hitcha?" and 'Forget to duck, eh?" to the coy, insinuating, *'I knew she'd catch up with ya some day."' They ran the scintillating gamut from the inevitable, "I suppose ya ran into a door" to the ineffably humorous sally, "Meet the former welterweight champ of the Smiley household." I came back with some real funnies myself. 'My wife," I replied. "Footwork isn't what it used to be," I admitted. "Yotta see the other guy,' I quipped. I can go along with a joke as well as the next bird. But after a while, in fact if | remember rightly, it was just after the fourteenth 'Hoo hitcha?", I began getting a little sore, I mean, fun's fun, you know, but, after all. So, when the next joker made his move, I told him, dolefully, that a maiden lady who didn't like my column had thrown acid in my face, and that I'd never have the sight of it again. He turned green. My next customer was a woman, who tittered, "That'll teach you to write things about your wife in that column of yours." I gave her a gentle, sad look from my good eye, and suggested that she not let the divorce alienate her from my wife. I left her with her mouth open. I quickly disposed of an elderly lady. strong in the temperance movement, by informing her the injury had been received from my young daughter, when she clubbed me on the eye with a half-empty bottle. It's good sport. Next time the »" 1 trouble-and-strife hangs one on you, Jack, you'll know what to do. ched ice flow after ice flow meander by. It sent shivers up our back just watching them. I kept asking Don, "Are you sure you didn't take the wrong turn somewhere and we've ended up in Alaska?" He has been known to take wrong turns before. We just about perished. I mean it was so cold that day in May that the Falls didn't fall, they just sort of dripped. May 1985 arrived and we decided not to take any chances for our second honey- moon. We'll go someplace different this time. Ottawa sounded good so off we went for 4 days of frolicking in the sun. At least the weather was on our side this time. There was no limit of sunshine. The frolicking part, well that was more like a slow walk. When we arrived at our hotel, they took our car and kindly parked it for us. The only thing wrong with this was we didn't know in what city they parked it. So needless to say, we had a lot of walk- ing ahead of us. I'll tell ya, we had our share of blisters and sore muscles to last (Turn to page 6)

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