The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

/ PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday. January 20, 1987 -- 4) I am half a foot shorter than Monica Schnarre and weigh a good 40 pounds more ~ than Twiggy. On my only visit to a beautician, the woman said she found my face a challenge. Despite these disadvantages, 1 feel cheerful and:secure. Working as I do for a newspaper, I get to go toa lot of places I would never have other- wise seen. Not long ago, I was priviledged to attend the Queen's Plate, a most prestigious event in the horse-racing circle. 1 saw something there that confirmed the folly of trying to conform, of trying to be better than anyone else. There was a small plump woman all dressed to kill -- huge hat, flowing dress with pink butterflies, which obviously looked far better on the store mannequin from where it came and long white gloves. According to her manner, she had obviously been looking forward to this outing for ages, and to make herself look even more elegant, she had taken along one of those shooting-stick things. You've seen the very debonaire people in the movies use them .... they look like a walking stick with a little seat attached and are a kind of portable chair. Anyway, because she was Viewpoint by ROXANNE REVELER so plump, her shooting-stick had embedded itself in the ground, and try as she might, she couldn't dislodge it. She tugged and she wren- ched, tears of rage in her eyes. When the final tug dislodged it, she crashed to the ground with a mighty thud. I saw her walk away, her day ruined. She had made a public spectacle of herself .... she had impressed nobody. In her own sad, red eyes, she was a failure, I remember well when I was like that, the years of trying to be like other people, of endless and useless speculation about what people might be thinking of me. Was I under- dressed or over-dressed? Should I be the first to start a conversation and be deemed pushy? Should I stand silent and be thought aloof or boring? What to do so as to be accepted was always preying on my mind. The whole thing goes back as far as my school days. I thoroughly enjoyed track and field events, and baseball, and gymnastics, but it appeared that all the sports our high school gym teacher called upon us to perform, I was hopeless at. To this day, I can't see a field-hockey game without remembering my ~ shame at not being able to thunder up and _ down at speed, and the horrible cry of the cap- tain who would bellow: "Rox you're letting re the team down." I really didn't care. I loath- ed field-hockey, I'always got "the stitch" in my side, and come to think of it I loathed the captain too. But she was THE girl at school, and what she did was always presumed right, so | always figured if I didn't like the damn game there must be something wrong with me. So I played. I remember the agony of my fi irst dance .. a wonderful, starry occasion for a girl, or so the books and magazines say. I had just turned thirteen and was visiting friends of-my - parents at their cottage in Honey Harbour. Their daughter was five years my elder and" - had already finished high school. Against what should have been my better judgement, I accepted her invitation to the local dance. She worked during the summer for a nearby lodge and was going to the dance straight from work. Good old dad was going to drop me off at the designated spot where we would meet, and also meet the rest of her friends. I planned and plotted my wardrobe all day and between my own, my mother's and her friend's wardrobe, 1 was finally all gussied up and ready to go. It was only after dad dropped me off in front, and left, that I walked inside the dance. I 'nearly died. My skirt, blouse and high heels were slightly oat of place in a room filled with teens in dungarees and shorts. Perhaps that is what made nobody sant to dance With me. Or it could have been the glazed, insincere smile on my face. Whatever it was, there I sat for four hours and 43 (Turn to page 42) fag 18 Reflections '5 ) of a golden age © byMabeiM. McCabe (_ Be Yourself ; Have you been putting 1987 on your cheques yet? | haven't.'It n- § takes a while for changes to seep into this old head but I'll get there. 1 Many thoughts have been whirling about in my brain these past Qo A OAT ~ 4. or If time for me. | loved the name Austin that had carried me to the age rs bh of twenty-two. In my day, a woman would not dream of refusing to 1 take the name of her spouse, so | had a conflict within myself. | lov-- e | ed my new husband and did not want to hurt him, or break rules that e.| had been handed down for centuries. So here | am, a McCabe. I've e fi learned to love that name now, but find my children have to be remind- ed that there were Austins in their background. | try to find the genealogical line, but | do not know much. S600 f the McCabe branch that my husband sprang from, so | turn to my : side of the family. The kids say "What about Dad's side of the coin?" w i Here | am in a dilemma. | know that his father's family came from somewhere in Northern ireland and that family roots were here in the Caledon area near 'Bolton. | remember hearing about the Hockley Valley as a place where grandpa McCabe was raised. Several relatives have searched the surrounding area graveyards to no avail, so the trail ends there. Isn't it.sad? | know one grandmother lived on a farm around that area un- til she was one hundred and four years old, but it's all hearsay. I'm making an effort to give my children everything | can think of because now that | want information everyone who could help is dead. At least they will have the bits and pieces | know to start with. Funny, it is only as the years pile up, that we begin to unders- tand that we are single individuals and have to live life alone. | always had my family, my husband, and then my children. Now they have their own responsibilities and | am learning that life must be com- pleted on your own. You are the only one you must please, and don't try to be something you are not. You will fail if you. are not true to yourself. If you spend all your time acting out a part that you think someone expects of you, you'll miss being and doing the wonderful things you are capable of doing. | mentioned in one article that | did not make vag: resolu- tions. | take it back because |'ve made one this y m going to be the best possible ME | can in 1987. If that soun range, it is. wife, and | tried. | had to be a good mother and | really tried. In fact, I'm still trying. Now that is silly, because all my kids are married and. " most have kids of their own. Still, | have felt driven to try to be that ~ extra special person to each of them. Well, it's over this year. I'll love them and cherish them always, but now | intend to be me. | shall do what | want and when |. want. I'll not wait for calls that they might make or visits they may get around to me sometime. | hope you are with me as | enter into the freedom of being my ~ own woman. I'm a bit ie starting but you can bet I'll make up for that in spades. weeks. For instance, do any of you married women 'remember the . reluctance you felt at giving up your own name? It was a traumatic You see | had to be a good daughter and | tried. | had to be a good "YOUR CANADA PENSION PLAN "HAS CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. 'On January 1st, 1987. your Canada Pension Plan changed and its good news. The Plan provides important protection for you and your family. These changes put your Plan on a solid, long-term financial foundation and improve the benefits. For booklets about your Canada Pension Plan, fill out the coupon below and mail it to: CPP-INFO P.O. Box 5400 Postal Station "D""' Scarborough, Ontario MIR 5E8 a like to know more about my new Canada Pension Plan. | +: send r me the 900d news' in English J in French 0 about... NAME A | ADDRESS ee foes | _-- oo 2 . Cry PROV. | _ POSTAL CODE ______ Retirement Pension [J -- Disability Benefits [J ".. Survivor Benefits [] Pension Credit Splitting (J Flexible Retirement [J Financing your CPP] Santé et Bien-étre i gi Health and | Welfare Canada . Social Canada rr