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6 -- PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, October 6, 1987 a aT me I I rr TI HII III IIT --,---- Woman's View by Chris Carlisle North America needs a good shrinking. It needs a hearty ses- sion on a giant couch to rid itself of a growing hysteria before things fly totally out of hand and we're unable to function at all. Earlier this century, hysteria was a convenient diagnosis for women suffering any disorder doctors couldn't understand or figure out. If she suddenly went blind for no apparent reason, a woman was called hysterical. If she was suddenly paralyzed and unable to walk, doctors were quick to call it hysterical paralysis. If her arm went rigid and refused to move, she was hysterical. Without our being aware, this curious disease has quietly been reappearing across the continent, only this time the symptoms aren't immobility. Instead, they're rapid, frenzied movements of the tongue, hands and legs as reporters scurry to dig up as much dirt on public figures as possible and spread it thick, chunky and ooey gooey good like peanut butter all across the hungry land. We members of the general public eat it up as fast as it's prepared. We gobble up the dirt and love every bit. North America has gone scandal mad. The disease gets worse by the month. It'll soon be terminal. Friends In High Places: Politics and Patronage in the Mulroney Government, a new book by political columnist Claire Hoy, is the latest symptom. It is said to be all about Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and several distasteful, scandalous escapades he had before becoming leader. According to reports I've seen, the book has juicy bits on Mulroney's drinking habits, including an unappetizing tale about a drunken Mulroney vomiting at a wedding dinner table; then falling face forwards into it. Exciting, isn't it? Gloat, gloat. We can all sit back and feel smug because we've never done such a horrid thing. Been a little drunk sometimes; maybe even had to run to the washroom for a chat with the toilet bowl, but never, never have we disgraced ourselves so at the dinner table. But we have become obsessed with finding out things bad about a person, then exposing him as true garbage. Forget any positives. We just can't seem to stand someone else's success and must drag him down into the gutter. Granted, some may have started there, or visited there once or twice, but at least they managed to pull themselves out again. No easy task. Don't get me wrong. I'm not for a second suggesting that Mulroney, or any of the other public figures exposed recently, were ever in the gutter. It's just that, well, like everyone else, in the course of their lives they've sometimes made a few mistakes. I'm not a big Mulroney fan, but just the same I don't see how his drinking pro- blems before he was a public figure have anything to do with the man now. Except that it shows he learns from his mistakes and works to improve himself. (He no longer drinks.) I haven't read Hoy's book but I'm sure that petty, small-minded people coast to coast will rush out to buy it so they can glean satisfac- tion by pointing fingers at the latest victim of Bring-the-sucker-down Hysteria. If a prime minister or president was sick at a State dinner I could _ (Turn to page 10) Board wants larger school | (From page 1) shaped building complete with a library-resource centre, a 4,000 square foot gym, and a large lunch room for students. It will open with six "re-locatable" classrooms. And it may also include a day care centre. Mr. Russell said that while this is not definite at this time, the Ministry of Education is asking that day care centres be included in the design of new schools. The day care centre would be built for the Ministry of Social Services which in turn would lease it to a private operator. As for the school itself, plans call for students from Scugog Island to attend classes there, along with students from north-west Port Perry. Students who live north of MacDonald Street likely will be go- ing to the new school. The location of the new school is on Simcoe Street North, about one- quarter mile from the intersection with Durham Road 8. Meanwhile, the Board 1s now in the process of securing an amend- ment to the Regional Official Plan and a change in the Scugog Township zoning by-law. There ig not expected to be an opposition to these changes. upon us. ing with their families. the street by about 12:00 noon. Bring on the turkey Cool morning air, frost, and a rainbow of colours as the trees begin to ready for winter, can only mean that Thanksgiving is almost The Star would like to remind its readers that they will be publishing one day later next week, so our staff may enjoy Thanksgiv- Deadlines for advertising and news articles will be 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, October 13, 1987, although any copy we can receive before the weekend would be greatly appreciated. The next issue of the Star will not reach our readers until Wednes- day, October 14, and should be available in the Post Office and on This marks the last long weekend of the season, and we at the Star wish you all a very happy and festive Thanksgiving Holiday. Viewpoint by John B. McClelland (From page 5) papers have run enough photos to boost Kodak stock a notch or two and several hundred trees in Northern Ontario have bitten the dust to provide all the extra newsprint. But hold on a minute. As I write this, the Jays are licking their wounds after a disastrous three games with the Brewers and are preparing to make their way to Motown for the season finale with the Tigers to decide who gets the marbles. The Toronto media, as is their wont, have gone slightly over- board in their coverage of the Jays recently. God help us all if the Jays do win the big one. We'll be reading and hearing about it from now til Christmas, and my Toronto Star, which is "delivered" each morning to the foot of my driveway will be so fat and thick with Blue Jay trivia, I'll have trouble lugging it to the breakfast table. Overkill? You bet. I shudder to think what all those sports writers and photogs will do with their time if the Jays falter. Seriously, folks, if I see one more TV replay of Bill Madlock crunching Tony Fernandez I'm going to scream. Enough already. : By the time you, dear readers, are perusing these words, either the Jays or the Tigers will be history for this season. I hope it's not the Jays, of course. But I also hope the Toron- to media come to their senses and not forget there are other things going on in the country and the world. Stand-up (From page 5) our Constitution and our Heritage. - We have to watch more than ever people who are advocating some very disturbing ideas regarding our official languages. These ideas would, if implemented, have grave consequences for our future genera- tions. It is my opinion that some peo- ple would like to see English and French gradually phased out. It has been the Canadian ex- perience that when immigrants come to our country they keep many of their own customs while at the same time integrate in Canadian life. This tends to create a rich mosaic of many cultures which is a good and healthy thing and benefits us all. Canada is a great Country with a proud heritage strongly rooted in its Aboriginal, French and English traditions. She has room and welcome for those who come here legally and honourably seeking to make this their home and to respect those traditions and laws by which we live. I am willing to stand up and be counted. Roy Walker Smith, Port Perry. Random Jottings by J. Peter Hvidsten MIKE MANDEL RETURNS If you missed the performance by mentalist, hypnotist, comedian Mike Mandel when he came to Port Perry last fall, don't miss him again when he returns this month. I have been informed by members of the Port Perry Ringette Club, the sponsoring group, that they will be bringing Mandel back to Port Perry for an unforgettable evening on Saturday, October 17, in the Port Perry High School auditorium. I can't say enough about this fantastic enter- tainer, who from the beginning of his two-hour show keeps the audience in stitches, with his assortment of harmless, but foolish acts. As part of the audience, you will be given the op- portunity to take part in his acts, and he will get you to do everything from "forgetting your own name" to making you feel like you are in sub-zero or tropical temperatures, if you agree to participate. Words cannot explain the extraordinary series of events that Mandel performs on stage, but I can assure you that I will be there again this time when he walks out on stage. And if you don't want to miss the entertainment event of 1987, you should be there also. Don't forget to bring the kids, or grandma and grandpa, 'cause they'll all leave the show with tears in their eyes from laughing. Keep an eye on the Star for more details on the Mike Mandel Show, or get in touch with a member of the Port Perry Ringette Club if you want more information. SLIGHT DISCREPANCY A couple of years ago, on a warm afternoon in July, a team of six men converged upon Palmer Park wearing white aprohs and bakers' hats. © They were about to attempt to cook-up 'the world's largest pancake' in their specially manufac- tured 7 ft. frying pan. Photos and stories in local newspapers, radio sta- tions, and even a video was taken of the event and when all was completed, Port Perry was proclaim- ed the home of the "world's largest pancake." - This record was verified by Ripley's Believe It Or Not, when they published the record in their syn- dicated column. It read as follows: "The World's Largest Pancake, a 7 ft. pancake was made out of 105 pounds of batter at Port Perry, Ontario, Canada on July 13, 1985 and was successfully flipped by a team of six in a 250 1b. pan. You can imagine my shock when I opened up a letter on Monday morning from a "big fan of Port Perry" asking the question, who holds the record? Enclosed with a brief letter was a clipping from the October 4 edition of the Sunday Sun. The clipp- ing, entitled 'According to Guinness' says that even a larger pancake was made in Vermont in August 1984. It says: "Largest Pancake, a pancake of 20 ft. in diameter, 4 inches thick, weighing 2,107 lbs., con- taining 900 Ibs. of pancake mix, 1,600 lbs. of maple syrup, 15 block of butter, and 100 gallons of milk, was built in Highgate, Franklin County, Vermont on August 18, 1984, under the auspices of Jim Hilton of St. Albans, Vt. Now, that's some pancake! Obviously, Ripley's and Guinness do not pool their information about records as the Guinness 20 ft. Pancake was recorded almost one year before the Ripley's Port Perry pancake was flipped. The letter writer, who did not sign their name, has asked the Star to solve the mystery, and in the coming weeks, we will attempt to get to the bottom of this question and find out more about the 20 ft. pan- cake from Vermont. Watch this space for new information as it becomes available. wo