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"There are few thi as a well executed the nation are looking forward to and sneezing The one rule of pranks are best played practical jokes and having t ~ adozen guys, d - assualtin the middle of the night. passing the saf Once on expectawal Oh What A Fool I've Been s in this life which are as satisfying for me actical joke. Jokers and tricksters throughqut April 1 - frustratingly, a Saturday thisyear. I've been having naughty thoughts since January. When | think back to some of the tricks played on or by me, | have to smile. In my eyes, the simple, Physical wh wder pranks don't prov fun in their place) as the sophisticated tomfoolery of adults. Like back in grade nine when my friends had me convinced | thatApril 1 was a holiday, so | didn't show up to school - cops! actical joking is that you can't be too cruel to your parents and si lings - you have to live with them - so most n school. | clearly remember the year we glued our teacher's pens and rulers to the top yet, when we tried to suspend the classroom furniture from the ceiling - the expression on our teacher's face was beyootiful! vA cautious word of warning to those presently considering Hr education', there is no place in the world with more practi- cal jokes per square foot then a University or College residence. | had a lot of fun during my first year of University, playing em played upon me in turn. | pride myself on my ability to stay poker-faced in even the most trying cir- cumstances - like denying that you have hidden your roomates pants, justbefore a hot date - or better yet, his deodorant. Kids, Don't Try This At Home At the U. of Waterloo, 'borrowing" clothes from guys in the shower was commonplace, so we all got used to faking our keys with us - and wearing shower curtains down the hall! more difficult when buckets of cold water were introduced. Of course the girls floors were the subject of hours of planning and careful scrutiny. Somehow, you could always raise a party of ed out in dark clothes and At two or three in the morning, we would wake each other, ather our gear and stealthily move thro Le uards which tried to usuallly overcome by taping the mechanism open earlier in the 'day, 2nd hoping fichedy noticed). : floor we did-the regular things: put black shoe polish on the toilet seats, (and saran wrapped the odd one), some guys would turn off the hot water at the main valve, put vaseline on door knobs, tape up Sunshine Girl pictures and leave elusive |, notes about captured teddy bears a ~~ A favorite was 'papering in' - covering the doorway to some- ones room with newspaper, and then filling the remaining space with balled up papers or balloons. As doors opened in, you could of papers to topple on you once ina while. Like anywhere, there were spoil sports about who would get upset if tricked. We found the surest way to ch help them play a prank or two themselves - hooked for life! A quick word of thanks to my number one (and only?) fan, Margret Morrow. She called to let me know that I'd tickled ny bone with my column and asked me to keep on making her uckle while she convalesces - Laughter is the best medecine! by Rob Streich ie cushion de half the thrill (although of his desk. Orbetter ings got aki, to mount an h the building, carefully or were such. . them was to r fun- Hospital Gala will auction art pieces The Hospital Spring Gala will take place this Saturday evening and one of the high- lights of the night's events will be an auction of some val- uable art pieces. : ~All of the auction items have been donated to the Gala, and auction organizer Kent. Farndale can be seen above with three of the mag- "nificent pieces. From left, a needlpoint created by Melba and Cathryn Hall; Flight from Tundra's Moon by Rick Bea- ver (in front of Kent) and at back, created by Dennice Hall. Other interesting pieces of - art include paintings by Leslie A. Parkes, Jerry Coulas, and Marc Barrie. As well, there is a fur crea- tion by Paula Lishman, woven 'rug by Wendy Bateman, and 3 historic photographs donated by Brock's Dept. Store. These and all of the pieces can be seen at the Scugog Li- . brary Gallery until Saturday morning this week. - New Owners GROCERIES & ICE CREAM Premium Quality Farm Fresh Eggs GASOLINE Video Rentals | DIESEL Hardware ~ WINDSHIELD Provincial, WASHER FLUID Wintario MOTOR OIL Instant Win KEY CUTTING Tickets Fast, friendly, full service HOURS: VARIETY & , eekdays a GAS BAR "i ich SIMCOE STREET N., COLUMBUS : Sunda a Multi-media map Chatterbox by CATHY OLLIFFE (From page 6) This was driving me crazy. Mother was actually reading out every single name on the list, and Gramma was just sit- ting in her chair, sipping her tea in between "No's", acting like hele conversation was the most natural thing in the "Goodwood?" "No." "Manchester?" "No." "Pickering?" "PICKERING? GRAMMA, DON'T EVEN ANSWER THAT ., ONE. IT DOESN'T DESERVE AN ANSWER." "No," said Gramma. ~My. mother continued on and on. The names blurred to- ther. | felt like | was in a nightmare, running, but not get- ting anywhere. Treading water, but drowning. "STOP IT MOM! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" "Raglan?" "No." "Saintfield?" "No." "Sunderland?" "No." I was certifiably insane by now. Spittle was dripping from the side of my mouth. | wondered how much time in the slammer | would get for doing my own mother in. "Tyrone?" "No." ; "Mom," | tried to say calmly. "I think dinner is burning. | can smell it. It's burning." . "Udora?" "No." "I'm going to dish up dinner, okay Mom?" "Utica?" "No." "Which knife should | use to slice the ham, Mom?" "Uxbridge?" "No." I butchered the ham ruthlessly. | threw the scalloped po- tatoes on the table. | nearly spilled salad dressing every- where. | scalded myself on the pea water. "Yelverton?" "No." "Zephyr?" "No." "Zion?" "No." "Well that's it, then," Mom said, putting down the book. "That's every name in the book." "Thank God," | mumbled through a mouthful of potatoes, a headache pounding in my brain. "Maybe | should get out the Lindsay phone book." | was just about to scream when Gramma said, quietly, naturally, "Wick." "Wick?" | said. "Wick?" Mom said. "That's what it was. | remember now. It was Wick." Gram- ma said with a self-satisified smile. "I knew if | thought long enough it would come to me." | wondered, did Gramma actually remember the name or did ehe just make something up to stop my mother's reci- ta | dunno, but Gramma was still grinning when she said, "Pass the potatoes." Port Perry Counselling Services MEDICAL ASSOCIATES, 462 PAXTON ST. Maureen Salkeld, B.A., M.Ed. ARATE AE ect LNG ~ MR ovorce weownon -- 985-0757 ~ STRESS MANAGEMENT -- ~ DAY or EVENING ~~