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C'mon now, who'd write a column about something like that? Well actually, back in the days when the James clan still owned The Amityville bugle, we did worse. It wasn't Pulitzer Prize material, but few Amityville readers will ever forget the time we scooped the world with the discovery of a new wind-driven energy source, twenty minutes af- ter the Missus dumped some leftover polish sausage into Champ the Wonderdog's feed bowl one evening. The sausage came from our local grocer, and was intendod to 'spice up' a lasagna recipe. This stuff was pretty potent, ranking some- where around typhoon-class in volatility. After dinner, the dining room looked more like a Turkish steam bath than the setting for a lasagna feast. Everybody remained stuck to their chairs after the meal, with beads of sweat popping out on their foreheads. en the stuff started working its way through poor old Champ. Suddenly the leaden silence in the steamy room was shattered by a thunderous explosion of sound. It rattled cups in their saucers, paint- ings reverberated off the walls, the storm win- dows bulged out from their frames, and the chandelier set to trembling. All three kids went wide-eyed and white as sheets, mouths gaping. The gaze of all five family members was directed, as one, toward the location from whence this amazing noise apparently originated...none other than Champ tha Wonderdoy! The dog meanwhile was busily engaged in bending his sizeable body almost in half to in- spect the area allegedly responsible. The truth was just barely sinki in, when "KHH ARRR TOOOD BUBBA BUBBA SPLAZZZ1"..., a second spasmodic wave swept over our hapless canine compan- ion. He almost suffered a broken neck, getting his nose out of the way. That did it for the kids, who slid rapidly from chairs to floor, convulsing in fits of teary laughter. No sooner would they begin the lon trek back to sanity, than "KHHHAAAAR TOOOUUUM BUBBA BUBBA SPLAZZZ1", the poor dog would let rip with another champion- "The World Record for Constipation is 112 days" ship Blue Darter', and ofi they'd all go again. Lord, you had to be there. Last week cabinet minister Otto Jelinek re- ferred to Canada's senators as "Old Farts' in pub- lic. This week's constipation caption seems equally appropriate to lead us into the subject of this column, which is a letter to the editor re- ceived by The Port Perry Star. The writer {a teacher) objected to our column from a week ear- lier. We suggested further wage and benefit de- mands should be curtailed until things calm down. The premise was based on everybody keeping what they already had, BUT not placin additional demands on an already overburdene economy. Since teachers fared better than any- one else during the last three decades, it's only fair they lead the way. Would anyone dispute that logic? There is nothing unfair -- nor biased -- about our sugges- tion everyone adhere to the status quo for the good of all concerned. So what's this teacher upset about? Well, our timing wasn't feat. Durham high school teachers are currently demanding a single year, 12% raise, and are threatening to go on strike Dec. 13th unless they get it. A teacher with roughly ten years experience and some extra course credits under the belt reaches the top salary level...earning an average of $55,000 a year across the province. A 12% raise would put that teacher well over $60,000 next year! 0 earn that, plus an amazing array of health, benefit, and indexed pension perks {mostly paid by YOU], the teacher works only 182 days per year in class!!! ith four weeks holidays per year, and five days off for illness, the average guy on the street works 225 to 230 days per year. Which, in terms of five day work weeks translates into approxi- mately 11 MORE weeks of work per year. is madness has to stop. If Durham teach- ers get a 12% raise, it will cost Durham taxpayers an additional $11.2 MILLION per year, without providing a single new facility, or text book, or computer, or instrument, or other related educa- tional tool for our kids. ....see you next week. Ss + Each basket individually created for that special someone * A variety of sizes, shapes, contents and prices * Order now for best selection [AN Gift Baskets of Distinction for Holiday Giving AE BET NN he Te HN > N NN A Nee TL & oat + Ideal for family, neighbours, teachers and other special friends + An excellent corporate gift for both employees and clients * Delivery available HOURS OF BUSINESS Monday thru Thursday 10 AM to 6 PM. Friday 10 AM to 9 PM. Saturday 10 AM 10 6 PM. Sunday 12 to 5 PM PORT PERRY STAR -- Tuesday, November 6, 1990 -- 15 Letter S to the editor Support a 3R program (From page 7) programmes in various forms have been adopted and im- plemented by many communities in the States and Europe. Unfor- tunately, none of these totally committed communities are in Ontario, let alone Durham (to the best of my knowledge). SAD BUT TRUE! The particular committee I have joined is researching the ad- vantages (few except for $$$) and disadvantages (frightening!!!) of landfill and incineration but more importantly the alternatives. And There Are Alternatives!!! We just have to commit ourselves and work as a community now - not just as a collection of individuals doing our own little bit. An example of one such com- munity which has successfully pooled its efforts into a 3R Waste Management programme is Neunkirchen County in Austria - "67 percent of all household and commercial/industrial used materials' are recycled. "Austrians throw out only two- thirds of the garbage we do: with two-thirds of that being recycled, their total waste is one-ninth of ours." Something to think about, isn't it?!?! Ask yourself a few questions: Do you separate your garbage - metal, glass, newspapers? Do you have a composter? Do you reuse plastic containers? Do you recy- cle your plastic bags (i.e. at the I.G.A. in Port)? Do you buy refillable soft drink containers? Do you consider packaging when you shop? If you answered yes to these questions you are at least heading in the right direction. If you answered no, just think of how simple it really is. All of us need to rethink some of our daily habits and commit ourselves to make some easy but very crucial changes. We aren't going to need another nuclear disaster to devastate our planet - we do it every day without even thinking about it. Let's Clean Up Our Act Now! Make A Com- mitment! Get Involved! Patricia Keywan, A Nestleton NIMBY Re-use your leaves To the Editor: In recent years, leaf burn- ing lost favour as the main method of disposing of the fal- len crop, and now burning con- travenes local by-laws. I am very happy with that, because my sensitivi'y to smoke meant that a drive into town during these smokey times left me teary-eyed. Leaf burning is now re- placed by the vacuumed lawn meticulously groomed to achieve the rich-green look with bags of leaves neatly piled at the curb for special pick-up. Next spring, the zealous green lawn vacuumer goes out to buy a new supply of chemical fertilizer to make the lawn look greener. Those clear plastic bags of leaves cost Mr. Green Lawn and the rest of us tax-payers money. Local municipalities will pay $80 tipping fee to the Region. My point is this. Those leaves would be best used in most cases by simply mulching them into the lawn with a lawn mower on a dry day. Another alternative is put- ting them on the garden or flow- erbeds. One tip I heard this fall is to place the leaves in a tub or container and break them up with a weed-eater style of ma- chine. . The broken leaves mix neatly into the soil of the lawn. Next year's benefit is an im- proved moisture holding capaci- ty for the soil which means bet- ter gardens and greener lawns. More importantly, less chemical fertilizer is needed and the amount of phosphate in the water systems is reduced. So, Mr Editor, we've moved past the leaf burning stage, let's move quickly past the leaf col- lection stage by applauding the mulched-leaf look on lawns in- stead of the immaculate green lawn with the bags of leaves piled up at the curb. Durham Region's leaf col- lecting and composting pro- gram is better than land-filling, but the best way to save tax dol- lars is home-grown mulching and composting. That way we bring zero gar- bage closer to reality. Working towards a gar- bage-free Scugog Township, Respectfully yours, Glenn Larmer, RR 1, Blackstock. Denture Therapy Clinic WILLIAM STEIL, D.T. 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