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x | . © W.COBIRY, M.D.,P.L., " rpEETH INSERTED ON ALL + 'with Gold and Silver: "-Askinsdn's Drug Store, King St.. Oshawa, wri o---------- i Barrister, Attorhiey , Solicitor, Notary Public. - awd Conveyancer. "Office. Lately on ied by __te and 2 ox, 1 A nen giving informa hat will -- Qloin Lamy 1 think the individual properties hd Sowttun a7 The Ontario Leforner, EVERY FRIDAY MORNING, The Ontario Reformer Printing and Publishing. Company, ar THEIR CFFICE-SIMCOR ST, OSHAWA. TERMS : $1 50 per annum, in adyancs f not paid within six months--$2if not paid till the ind of thegear. No paper discontinued until all errears are paid, except "at the option of the publisher, and parties refusing papers without paying up will be held responsible for the sub seripifon until they comply with the rule, All letters addressed to the Editor must be averisbly pre-paid, 4 I HM. BROOK, . Editor.and Publisher, 173 -- so ness Directory, Bnsi HYS{CIAN, SURGEON, AND ACCOUCHEUR, King Street, Oshawa. a and Office Nearly opposite Hobbs WH. FREDERICK NceBRIAV, M.D. M.R.C.§ : ( A HOSPITAL, LONDON, ENG- LAND. -Kesidenee op te W, H. Gibbs' Simcos Street, a. nt fot yore i a -- ' ROBSON HOUSE, Kis STREET WEST, HAMILTON, Py , Robecy, I Rioptietor formerly of the C.N VARS L'D.8S Iatest principles ofthe art: as cheap as the: eheapest, and as good as the best. Teeth filled Teeth rxtracted without apis by producing local anaesthesin., : Dental Rooms- ih Cowan's New Block, ove 2-42 7 3. FERGUSON, ICENTIATEorDENTAL SURGERY. Fg 0 ce ater ihe Grocery, ot Sen. Rimpson All ane in a ki x al [Sharations Dn A an manner, BARRISTER, ATTORNEY, SO. €, N Pubic, Doha, South Font Corner of King so 009 Streets. MONEY to'Lend. Mortgages bought and - @ R. McGer. J. E FAREWELL, LL. B., UNTY CROWN . ATTORNEY, 0 ¥ Litby, 243 8. H. Cochrane, deceased, Brock Street Outario. GREENWOOD AND MeMILLEN ARRISTERS AND ATTORNEYS AT-LAW,. Solicitors-in-Chancery, Notaries -PubMe, Egnveyancers, &c., Whitby. Money to | 2& A A G. MeMiLL Cc. w. sm, . - RCHITEOW PATENT, INSUR- ance and General Agent, Simcoe Street, SRR Se aman 2, . And Liven bool. REFER- nom Means. F. WW. Gle ) 2 * EY Loan. s J. Hiusk Guz FWoon. B. SHERIN & Co., OLESALE MANUFACTURERS of HOOP SKIRTs, & New York Ma- o used. The trade supplied on best term PactoryyKing Street, East, Bowmanville... 3s BRITON AMERICAN ROTEL. AY'S, LATE ROBSON HOUSE, Whitby, Ontario. House newly renovated and furnished throughout, and put in first-class order for the receptiyn of guests. An omnibus to anil from all trains east and west. Firsi-class rooms. 3201y. GC: . SMITH, LL B ARRISTER, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, ) Solicitor in Chancery and Insolvency, de. Office -McMillan's Block, I oy. 3-14-13. FRANCES RAE, NM, D,, HYSICIAN, SURGEON, ACCOUCH eur, and Coroner. King St, Oshawa. 1-2 $5 to $20 yf iH SEs wana oC either sex, young or old, make more money at work for us in their spare moments. or all the times ban at anything else. Particulars free. Address G. STINSON &-CO.; Portland, Maine. CENTRAL HOTEL, SIMEDE ST. NORTH, OSHAWA. JAS. QUIGLEY, Proprietor. HIS SPLENDID NEW HOTEL IS sow open, and offers to. the travellers the best of accomodation to He procured between : T i oe Tor --_-- nfavin - Refor me 4 Vol. 3 OSHAWA, ONTARIO, FRIDAY, OCTO a Tr A TR -- BER 24, 1878. No. 28 T. HOPPER BUTCHER. ! KING STREET OSHAWA. JSTOMERS CAN BE SUPPLIED / at his Shop, opposite Hawthorne's Store, or at their own: Residences, with the best of Meats, fresh and salt. wish, Fowl, &c.,always off hand iu season. THOMAS HOPPER, oshawa, Sept. ith, 1873. 4 21-1y. OSHAWA PACKING CASE FACTORY SUBRCRIBER 1S PREPARED at reasonable Prices, any qhantity mber, Shingles, Laths, kets dting and Flaaving, de. Bill Lum- rder. 'and promptly delivered. Plane- CHING, MOULDING, and SAWING done 10 order on the shorfest notice. p CHALLES H. HONEY. fo sup) or guality of 3191. LIVERY STABLE'S SMITH & MG AW, Have always on hand Horses to suit Travellers. Single Rigs, Double' Rigs, Carriages, Omni- buses, Waygons for Excursion Parties, dc, The BEST STYLES, and as Cheap us consistent with a modest profit. SMITH & McGAW. Oshawa, August 12th, 1873. 18S OSH WA Sewing Machine Factory. HE "MODEL"SEWING MACHINE will be found the most perfect machine ever introduced to the Canadian public, Some of its points of excellence are, & Silent Motion, Perfect Elasticity of Stitch, 8% Simplicity of Construction, self adjusting needle, A &4 Light running and rapid in operation, && No under gearing to perplex the operator, no screw driver required to adjust its parts, and no helping th# Machine to run over a seam. AF Iv will sew ihe finest cambric without fray ing it and the heaviest material without strain- ing the machine. Orders received will be filled in two or three weeks without fail. ' . GEORGE. YOUNG, Man facturer. 21-1. Oshawa, Sept. 1, 1873. Newcastle Nurseries. HE SUBSCRIBERS, DESTROUS OF supplying good and healthy FRUIT TREES! OF VIGOROUS GROWTH, And of the various sorts of Fruit required for exportation and consumplion, beg to say that they are now in a position to offer the following stock for fall and spring planiing :-- Apple Trees, Standard & Dwarfs, leading kinds. Pear do. do. do. do, Pium de, do. do. dos Cherry da, do, do. do, They have also on hand every variety of oD AHRUB, 81175, ORAMETAL, AND EVERGREEN TREES. They caution parties purchesing, that all Airy a by them have a written | authority to produce, and that orders require to bemade on their printed blanks, J. P. LOVEKIN & Co. . Newcastle Nui series. Newenstle, July 3rd, 1873. 18-1y LIVERY §' ABLE. R. V. CHUBB, K n and Toronto, House fitled up with all modern improvements. Best brands of | Wines and Liquors always-on hand. Extensive tabling and sn attentive hostler. . 1 "DOMINION BANK! ' Sup-- OSHAWA AGENCY. OTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN THAT the Dominion' Bank has dpehed an agency Nor the transaction of business in Farewells ock, opposite the office of Messrs. | be Vos & er, Simcoe Stneet. Interest wii B on deposits. s issued on al Cryer gy i and Great The Savings Bank depafiment is now | Ou all degosite over $4 interest will be | Office Hours---Frem 10 o'clock a.m., to3o'clock P.m., except on Satwidays, when the Bik will at 1 o'clock, p.m., > Tae J. H. MCLELLAN, AATHY "HE Agent. ONTARIO BANK. 1GAPITAL $2,500,000. | OSHAWA BRANCH. + | OFFICE-SINCOE STREET SOUTH | ------ 1 FFICE HOURS--FROM 10 AM. ! 0.30 clock pan. On Saturday, from 10e.m. | 1 e'eloek pan. Banking business of all kinds transacted on usual terms. Drafls issued on all points in Unided tes, and Great Britain. A Savi Bank Department in connection with po} ranch. Interest allowed on all deposits ov 00, repayable without notice. C. HOLLAND, Manager. | shewa, July 16th. 1878; wSM-ly Money to Lend] AT # | REDUCED RATES. "AM NOW PREPARED TO LEND | aay amount of money, on the security of Good Fata or Productive Town Property. at the Lowest Possible Rates of Interest, B sums and marmer to suit borrowers. Principa | ©a0 be re-paid by yearly instalments, or in one am, Investments made in Debentures, Mortages, ad other securities. - i SILVER ANI) GREENBACKS BOUGHT AND | i SOLD. For further particulars apply to JAMES HOLDEN, RE Official Assignee, Mancy Brokes, &c. | oor From 's Block, Jirockt., 8. Whitby | For Sale ! INCE THE SOUTH RIDING OF the County of Ontario is, and has been for rein aught to be sold as well. FOR SALE. T YO BUGGIES, AND A NUMBER of Wagons, for sale, ou easy terms. !] Api Ewive, [ EVERY DAY, so that his © Corner of King and Chuich Streets, "Opposite . Hobbs' Hotel. Houses to hire at all hours of the Day or Night. Drivers Furnished if Required. RATES MODERATE. i to Commercial Special advantages, REMOVAL MEAT MARKET. GW. GARTH, BUTCHER. AS REMOVED HIS MEAT MAR- KRT to the Building directly opposite BLACKS COMMERCIAL HOTEL, KING ST. | season, to merit a + vants of the Citizens of Oshawa; . . iG WAGONS WO PEDDLING WAG NSmn 1 io Jou ime lied at their own doors.and in good t n TorTthe oven. All orders left at the Market punctually attended to. Nyy AND P. P. RAILWAY. PRR SI THROUGH LINE FROM TORONTO --TO PORT PERRT, LINDSAY 30BCATGEON, & FENTLON FALLS. RE STEAMER * ONTARIO" WILL leave Port Perry every Monday, Wednes- day and Friday, 'at 11 o'clock, a.m, on the ar rival of the morping train from Whitby, which connects with the local train from the east, and the express from Toronto, on the Grand Trunk way, arriving in Lindsay at 3 o'clock, p.m., Bobeaygeon, at 5 p.m. ; Fenclon Falls, at7, p.m. RETURNING. --Leayves Fenelon Falls on Tues- day. Thursday, and Saturday at 6, a.m. arriving at Lindsay at Sa.m., and at Port-Pesry in time to.connect with the train cov ecting with the Grand-Frunk Railway mixed gong West, and Jocal and Express going East. wo rom Toronto to Bobcaygeon . 50, es to Lindsay - - - - - 2.00. ts, Toronto. s& Through F hts ot low rates. For RL apply to the Agents. .~ Any information can be obtained by applying wR KT ; JAS. HOLDEN, B.R. KBALL ¢ Man'g Director. ber 12th, 1873. ~ Stolen or Strayed. OR ABOUT THE 6TH OF month 25 white Ewes, (without mark) lead to recovery, will be suitably rewarded by Sonne Be 1.0 giv. Lumber & Shingles for Sale SUBSCRIBER HAS ON HAND sale at his mill; near Utica, (late for ods of lumber and shingles. 32840, to order. mus A. B. CAMPBELLS i = 'BEDROOM SUITS. FO ---- WE HAVE NOW IN OUR SHOW ROOMS 60 SETS OF BEDROOM SUITES To Select from, Raging in Price From $25 to $200 each. PARLOR SUITS DINING ROOM SETTS, . { And other Turniture, in great variety, all of First-class Manufacture. Oshawa, July 15th, 1873. LUKE & BROTHER. 83-14-1y HATCH & MEARNS, ---0-- CALL and SEE OTR, ST OWVIESY The best and largest assortment in Oshawa, ---- (} HATCH & MEARNS, KING STREET, OSHAWA, Hardware Merchants, and dealers in Paints, Oils, Glass, Nails, Iron, Chandeliers, Lamps, Coal Oil, &c., &c. | avetroughing and Jobbing Promptly Attended to. Trepection Invited ap 4 | NEW DRESSES, NEW SH WLS, NEW TIES, (Ladies',) ~NEW COLLARS and CUFFS. -- NEW FANCY FLANNELS, NEW CORSETS, NEW BLANKETS. In fact, every Department is well Stocked with New Goods, which, for "Style, Variety and value, cannot be surpassed. J. BARNARD. Bee Hive, Oshawa, Sept. 25th, 1878. LOOK AT THIS! Just arrived at the sign of the BIG TEAPOT, a large assortment of STOVES all of the Newest Patterns and Latestimprovements, BOTH COAL AND WOOD. which will be sold very CHEAP for CASH. of every. description very cheap. COAL OIL, &c., cheap as usual. 1LAVETROUGHS. STOVEPIPES, Plain and fancy Tinware, 29~Cash paid for sheep skins. "8 Remember tha place SIGN OF THE BIG TEAPOT, KING STREET, OSHA WA, September, 17th, 187x. ' . FETCHETT. ADVERTISING FOR A WIFE. 1 am extrgmely shy, and, therefore néver go into society. 1 am sky with men, and still more shy with women. In the presence of ladies, that few facul- ties I have been blessed with by nature, leave, and I am hopelessly and helplessly lost. The smile, the voice, the glance of one of the fair sex, serves me as it did Marlow in Goldsmith's comedy ; I can neither look, speak nor smile. My real name is Timothy Truelove, but my friends and acquaintances call me Tim the Sly, or Tim the Bashfal ; and this only makes me more shy and more bashful. Unless the courting, and pops the questipn, ad takes me to church and marries me, 1 shall live in single blessedness, and go, to the grave a bochelor, in spite of myself. For the worst of it is, I want t6 be mar- ried. 'Nearly all the people I know are married--have wives to share their joys and increase them ; to sliafo their sor- rows and lessen them ; to console thew in trouble, and nurse them in sickness. Some'of them have lovgly children, to make home all that is i beautiful, mirthful and happy. Bit '1 live alome, with ne onete cheer or 'comfort me ; I would rather have soms one, even to pla: gue, than endure this live of weary lone- liness and miserable solitude in the midst of a busy and social world. Clubs are of no use. My shyness pre- vents me from enjoying: them. TI havn't the faculty of conversation, I dd not care for billiards, hate bagatelle, ahomina'e cards, and caunot play "chess. I am in fact a domestic fcreature ; fitted to make an agreeable husband, if T can only get a wife. Bat I can't. Pondering over my lonely and desolate bold etrokefor a wife." I would adver- tise. I did. Ah mi thiserum! Ah, wretched me ! 1did. Igavea not too flattering description. Young, which 1 am, only twenty-four ; ' tolerably good looking, which I am! with a good in- come, which I have , but not mingling with snciety, and therafore, not brought into the company of eligible partis, T had notwithstanding these advantages been compelled te remain single. Any young lady, of similar condition and position, would find this a rare opportunity, as everything was bona fide. T added that I was of good temper. amiable disposition, courteous, and gentlemanly in. my de- meanor, and should mike a good husband. All of which is true to the letter, as they say. [added that carfescould be inter- changed. Unhappy me! I was overwhelmed with replies. From the ' maiden of bashful if. teen' to the ' widow of fifty' and from fair ones of intermediate ages, they came pouring in upon me with offers that might have tempted an anchorite to Jeave his cave, and if the law permitted, marry them all. I was bewildered. One had flaxen hair, light blue eyes, and rosy cheeks, and an annuity of nine hundred a year. .An- other had raven tresses, was like Maud, tall and stately, although she was only seventeen ; had no fortune, .but. eowld sing, play,'and dance well, and what she lacked in money. could make up in her ac- complishinents. A third had been .com- pered by her artist friends, to Guido's Madonna, so she needn't say another word about looks ; in other respects she wes all the most exigent and fastidious could de- sire. A fourth was not good looking, but then, she was endowsd with all the virtues under the sun, and * beatty is but skin deep," and hand is that hand does. I threw that letter and carte into the fire. A fifth--~by why go on to the crack of doom! They wers nearly all of were equally 'suitable to fill the vacant place on my hearth. ~The nomber of widows who replied wasastonishing.. Some had children and some had none ; I sooh decided against the applicants with incum- brances, as these flowers of the fiome are ungracionsly designated by people want- ing office | keepers. Mer rejecting a basketful of applications, there still rve- mained too many for ome man to select from. It was indeed a cuse of embarrad d- richesses. i After much' trial end 'mac reflection, 1 seletted three whose Tetters, in eonjime- tion with their cartes, seemed most eligible. I wrote to the address given, and by re- turn' of post the answers cime. Méetings we should know each other. One danse! Park. She would evry a handkerchief in her left hand, one corner of which shonld be tied with some mauve colored ribbon, and 1 was to wear a camelia in in my cbat. The happy moment arrived, and [ was punetnal, but the lady was there before me. Ob, the awful disallusioning of that interview ! She had! told me she wes young and handsome, she was néfther She had told me of her refined taste, $hd she. was dressed in the most. outre manner possible. * All the cuvlors of the rainbow were reflécted from her person. She was the widow uf the deceased publican, and looked it. Her proper place was behind the bar, serving gin and bitters to young cods and brainless swells--and she had dared to answer my advertisement. After a few words, we coldly wished each other good bye, and never met again. The second was also a failure, but the thirdwag worse. It sealed my fste, but did not obtain me a wife. At firs: it promised well, but its issne was, for me, calamitous. I shrink from narrating the adventure, but the interests of humanity compel me. I have put my - hand to the plough, and must not turn back. : I met the third of my selestion at the time and place appointed. She appeared t8 be all that she had represented herself. She looked like a lady, and spoke like one. ~ some fair one takes pity on me, and das. state, I at last determined to make * a the same character, and all promised to | make the best wite undes the sun, dnd ull | were appointed and devices given by which fixed upon a retired spot in St. James' | She saw my shyness, and met it with en- couraging questions. Bkilfully and gra" ciously she drew me on, until I found myself talking to hér as I had never talked to woman before. With a modesty that was perfectly entrancing, she trusted I should net think baldly of her for answer- ing an advertisement seeking a wife. Many happy matches, she believed, had thus been brought about, and I should find that she had sufficient and justifiable reasons for what sie had done. Then our talk became more general, and I found she was well informed ; spoke. of our best authors, especially the.poets and | novelists, in a manner which proved | familiar acquaintance with their works, Ina word, I was enraptured, over head snd ears in love, and thought, at last I have found the * one fair maid for me." Of course we met again. We met mary times, and I grow fonder and fonder of her at each meeting. Atlast I resolved to bring the matter to a close, and have the wedding-day fited. It was summer 'time, and on¢' bright evéning we' were taking a walk in--to me fatal --8t. James Park, when I found a retired seat, and I pressed to nanie the day. I was so a) sqrded in watching her face and waiting foran answer, and 1 had 'not, noticed a party of young men who had" sto'en be: hid us. MJ arm was: round her' waist and I was tehderly but earnestly, asking fora reply, whett my raptures weré broken in upon and terribly dispelled bya burst of laughterfrom behind and Joe Field: ing, my fellow-clerk at Somerset Howse, slapping my supposed inamorta on the back, exclaiming, "Well, Harry, have you fixed the wedding-day yet ' Harry took off his bonnet, his false curls and @hignon and burst out langhing in ny face.. "I saw all in & moment." IT had * been cruelly hoaxed." Without wilting for the jeers of my fellow-clerks, I rushed away from the park, jumped on the first onini™ bus, and went home.' There 1 packéd my portmantean, wrote to my chief that ur- gent tusiness--family business, T ironi- cally wrote--required my attention for a few days, and Ileft London that might. Whit T shall do next is undecided ; but one thing is certain [ shall never adver- tise for a wife again. As a caution to others and to prevent any similar bashful fellow from committing the like folly, I hive told the story of "How I advertised for a wife, and didn't get one." OLD DUGOOD'S DOG. 01d Dugood came into the bar room the other day and took a seat among the idlers there assembled. .The dog question was under discussion, and after listening to a few wonde#ful stories Dugood chipped in as follows : 4 "Now, boys, you may all talk as you please about the smart things dogs have done, but I oan jest tell you somethin' that will lay over all yer stories." "1 don't "spect you'll believe a feller when he's a tellin' the truth, but this is as true as the gospel. 5 ' Yous all know the big yaller dog of mine? Well, that dog is the smartest dog in the drive. He's an intellectual dog, he is. Now, I know you won't beliove it, but that ar' dog's hgen larning to: sing.' ¢ Learning to #ing 7 -Get out!" inter: rupted one of the listeners. * Yes, sir, that's so, every word obit, and I'll just tell you how it was. 'Tother night we had some singin' at dur house. Yon know our Sal's been goin' to the swingin' schools lately, and she and other gals, and the young fellers what go, bev got so they caw squalk like the very blazes. And so almost every 'night they meet at somebody's hbuse and practice. * © Well; Shy, oflier] fight (they was = whole crew on 'em at our house, and they had a big time. Such a screechin' and -a sqnallin' and a belierin', you, never heard in all your lives. You'd hev thought that a whole gang of tow, cats had broke loase and tackled Squire (Jones. hull, and. wor Jost having it hot and heavy. Well, that ar' «dog was: in thd room while they wor | singin' and he' was'the most interested | cratuf I'evet saw.' He watched 'ei beat {i time and goin' through their mancev- ets, and "dered to understand "em as wll as they 'did, At first. they sang lively tunes, you know, and purty soon, whew they got tired: of these they, eommeneed on salms and bymes and other serions things. The dog hic'peared to like these better than the'lively taries, and sot down as close up to "em as he could while they sung: bas! ! ! "At last thé gals coaxed Jith Blowhard to sing Old Hundred. You know what | anwld tearin' bass veice Jim has. When he eomntenced, the dog began te got dread: fully interested. He pointed' his moss right up at the ceilin'," and' every time Jim came to the low notes, he'd sorta howl." 'Wito ? Jim." No, the doz. er Blowhard he sung away round and kinder bit his hind legs.' 'Gosh a mighty ! Blowhard 1' ¢ No, you old fired fool 'you, the dog, of course. Then sez I to the old woman, ¢ Nancy Jane,' sez she, ' You git out, I shan't do it." , Jest then the dog picked somethin'up in his mouth and bolted out of the room quicker'n a streak. I didn't pay much at- tention to it.and nobody else noticed it. ¢ Wken Blowhard finished, all the gitls jest crowded round him, and commenced flatterin' him, when suddenly we all heard a noise. It waathe ertullest mixed np noise ever anybody heard. Everybody was scared neatly to death. Six of the gals fainted away in Blowhard's arms all at once. They wor hangin' on to hin from all sides, like string beans on a pole. Blowhard was still for a moment or two ; it was more huggin' than he could stand, and he wilted right off his seat onto the floor, and tried to crawl under the sofa. Befure he got more'n his head and shoul- for a while, _and jest then be turned | ders uuder, the gals all came to and eaught kim bythe feetand tried to pull him out. Blowhard hang on the sofa legs and bellowed murder, and the gals screeched, and some on'em run around the room nineteen times a minnit before they could find anything olee to faint onto.' ' I picked up a candle and rushed into the back yard with two or three of the spunkiest men, and what do you think that old dog was doin'?! He'd got a music book spread out before him and was beatin' time with his tail on a tin pan, and a howlin' "Old Hundred," like all p d Golden Era. -- | How Mr, Reynolds was Rewarded for , 88 act of kindness. (From the Danbury News.) -- A New York party named Reynclds, who had been spending the mer here, into the house, you old fool 1 Come in sind vt Your diauer, Shi Jot me ad we arigie you from the Christian Secretaty, old rip. Comain and 46 how mcr is 1a to get dinner with nothing to burn bub rubbers, you whited sepulchre. Come in here I tell you, before I losé my tempet; and say what [ought to I At this invites tion he went in, going upon the stoop and to the door very slowly, but, on the door, disappeared inside with marvels ous suddeness. The neighbors say he was cutting wood all that afternoon, and thinking of the religious press, 7 One who always gets bread when he kneads it--a baker, An editor's pistol having been stolen; he advertises that if the thief will returs 'it, he will give him the contents, and no questions asked. A Chicago man has invented ap odes railway. It is the ordinary steamer rus« ning on the top cf the water supported on pontoons which run first over and then under it on an endless chain, like the tread of a horsepower, It reminds one forcibly of a school girl erossing & shallow brook on two stepping stones, movin them slong as she advances, A Lincoln man, whose wife has beest ill for some time, came out one day with a face longer than his arm. A friend whe mot him grasped him by the hand in tearful sympathy and murmured: '0, when did she die? - ' 0, goodness," was the solemn reply : 'she ain't dead, she's was at the upper end of Deer Hill avenue, strolling for his health, yesterday morn- ing, when he observed a boy trying to pull a kite from an apple-tree, where. it had lodged, Just as' Mr. Reynolds. came up the string broke, leaving the kite vp there. With the natural pcomptings of a human heart, the gentleman gave his coat in charge of the boy, add crawling over the fence, was sopn up the tree. The boy felt- pretty bad about the acci- dent to his kite, but on taking a second look at the coat, which was almost pew, he dried his tears, and scampered off with it, unperceived by Mr. Reynolds, whe was trying to take an obstinate twig fem the back of his neck. After considerable difficulty he reached the kite, and was stretching forth his- hand to take it, when the lib he was on suddenly snapped in two, and he fell some rix feet, split. tipg one of his paataloo n-legs half-way up, and running a twig iuto his nose with such violence as' te make that organ. bleed. Fortunately he was saved from further mishaps by catchingon a strong limb. He stopped then to feel of his nose, and meditare on the accident, when leaning the house I 'You have played the detés with mp heart," said a gentleman to a lady whe wae his partner in a social game of whist at an evening party. Well, replied the lady with an arch smile, 'it was because you played the knave.' It is said that the Nebraska Indians are allowed to.ride free on all trains they can jump on while the latter are in motion The tribe 1s being reduced very pipidly. This is by all vdds the most effective and economics] system of dead-hesding om record. , a The subject of impressions at first sight #ns being talked over in a family crcle, when the mother of the family said, * [ always form an idea of a person on first sight, and * generally find it correct" * Manna,' soid | er youthfnl sos. * ' Well, my dear; what is it? *Iwant to know wiiat your opinion of me was when you first saw me.' A Cazzruil Scor.--A man who was discovered asleep among a lot of tomb- stones in stonecutter's yard, said, on being: awakened, that he had come in to buy a a rough voice from below demanded, whet he was "doing * there, and looking' down Ne saw a shirt sleer- ed, bare-headed-man, with a pitch. fork'in his hand and fire in his eye, Mr. Reynolds explained about the Kite. * That won't do," said the man, 1 have had too many apples hooked from that ere tree, and now that I've got the thief, I intend to make him dance. And the man looked ferociously at Reynolds' facilities for dance ing. The unhappy Reynolds referred him to the boy for an endorsement of his story What boy } asked the owner of the orch- ard. Idon'tsee no boy. There %in't no boy 'here. "Reynolds looked out in the road, but there was no boy in sight. He shouted * box," two or three times, but there was no response. The color desert ed his face, and a Jook of astonishment and horror spread over his t me t for himself, and having picked out one, made up his mind he would try it one night befure purchasing. Two old wives were discuss"ng the fire at Ayr Barracks one evening. 'It was just a dispensation of Providence," said the one. The other replied, * Ye needns blame Providence; they tell me it was nae dispensasion o' Providence, but the Ai H rH mn 0 a pl \ 4 Tae LiNg wuss seDrawxSougwnszs! My lady--"And why did you leave Inst 'sifuation I" Sensitive Being--* Wail my lady, I adn't been in the 'ouse 'ardiy & month when 1 hascertained as the ladies of the family 'ad never even been present- ed at Court I" During the late war Dr es, enter ing the hospital surgery, met the orderly, and asked him which he considered the This is very extraordinary, he said. Very, coincided: the farmer with great dryness, That boy has stolen my coat, snd 1 must 7 him and r it, said Reynolds, suddenly becoming Frantic over his loss and preparing te descend. O, come down, and catch him, said the farmer with biting sarcasm, chewing his tongue to show how calm he was, and placing the fork in such a way as to take in the most valuable por- tions of Mr. Reynolds' body. That gen- tleman saw the preparations in time to stop. Why, you wouldn't run that fork into me, you oldidiot' 'Who are you calling an old idiot, yen miserable whipper-snapper,' sliouted the old chap, as he i ly danced d the foot of the tree, and glared fiercely at kis. vice tim. * Come here and rob me, you wil lain, will you, and then stand in my own tree and blaspheme me. Run the fork into you, will I 7 Yes, I'd run it inte 200 of yo." Mr. Reynulds was shocked. "What de you want me to dof' he said, des pairing of reasoning with the owner of the 'orchard, get out of this orchard as fast as your rascally legs canigake you." Mr. Rep- nolds hesitated. © It was bad. enough to lose a coat, win his pants, and eplit his nose to help.an evil boy out of trou- ble, without being hombarded with epi- thets, and charged £5 for the performance. He thought he would. jump down on the old man and crush him, but he looked at the fork and repented of. the design. Then hedrew. outa 85 bill and dropped it to his, gnemy, and' humiliatingly slid down the treg, reaching his feet in time to avoid a kick the irate man aimed at him. He mas helped out of the orchard with the fork handle, aud immediately started for the hotel, which he reached in a condition of nervous prostration that at first threatened wo result seriously. An actiye search has been made for the boy, but neither he nor the coat hasbeen discovered. i How She Managed Him. A hot-tempered Danbury woman. who finds considerable trouble in persuading her husband to furnish Kkindlings, and then is obliged to do it herself, read in a religious paper, Monday, of how a wife induced a wicked husband to become one of the 'most affectionate and hopeful of men by being invariably calm and loving with him. The~story made a deep im- pression npon her; and when she started the fire that noon, she ut a pair of rubbers among the wood. Then she tied a band- kerchief across her nose, and went on with her work. When .the husband reached the gate, he paused, fetched a sniff that made a hole in the atmosphere, and then went around to the back of the house, and, "fetched another sniff that had an ege damaging effect on. the atmosphere. He started into the next yard and up at his own house, and felt in his pockets, and was about to go around to the front again when his wife thrust her head out of the window and said, ' Why don't you come most dang of the many cases then in the hospital. * That, sir," said the order- ly, as with an indicative jerk of his thumb he pointed to where, on the table lay case of surgical instruments; : 'We 0' 1s Ace.'--* Come, Doctor," said a gentleman to his 'minister, * T can give you a treat--a bottle of claret forty years old." The doctor was in mptures, and eagerly accepted the invitation, when, to his dismay, the ex quart proved only a pint bottle. ' Wae's me," said he, taking it up in His hand, * but it's wnow wee 0 itsage I" B Mavx Ussvun.--A * funny. Le souri Republican" that he has got a situs | tion fur his baby. the day-time to an image-maker. His part of the work is to be planted in » pot of melted wax, and when it is ocvel the modeller takes him out and pours in plaé-' ter of Paris and makes oupids.' °° As cool a person, under the circumstan. ces, as was ever heard of was a young 'I want you to pay me 85, and hnobleman, who, in a frightful railroad ac- cident, missen his valet. One of the guar- dians came hp to him and said, "My lord, we have found your servant, bet he is cutiv two." "Aw is he?" seid the young men, with a _Dundreay drawl, but still with anxiety depicted on his coun tenance. * Will you be gweod enough to see in which half he has got the key te my carpet bag I : Axorner Marrer.-- When the French Cuirdssiers, pounced down upon the twenty-first, at Dettington, Bir Andrew Agnew, deeming it impossible to with "stand their chatge, ordered: the { to fall back from the eentre by and left. The Cuirassers rushed madly inte the lane they had formed, believing the line had been broken. The Fusileas then delivered a volley, and charging with the bayonet, nearly sunilulstel the French cavalry. The King did not fail to per ceive the movement and its result. "Ak, Sir Andrew,' said his Majesty, pleasantly, after the batfle--gens d'armesgot in smong you to-day I" ' Ou, ay, yor Majesty,' ane | swerod the brave Scottish kmight ; but they didna get out again. The recent stringency of the money mar. ket is explained in some part, by a discor« ery at cleveland, It seems that » small mouse that lived in a milliner shop, de< termined to build him a house, It would appedt that there could haye been no lack of choice material in such a place, but the luxurious little fellow would have nothinff but national carsency. Accordingly he withdrew $200 which he found in the till, from cireulaiion, and tearing the bills very small tatters, ne constructed for hi self a mansion. Bat it was the fate this mouse to point & moral, as . is arsenic, and in mastic notes, he palatial abode became his coffin. a picture for e meralist it was to. be go ky msn" correspondent writes to the " Mie-*y 1, ' He is apprenticed in