The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

"A Famlly Tradition for 125 Years" PORT PERRY STAR - Tuesday, March 10, 1992 - 7 Canada is in dire need of a nation- al election. Canada needs an election the way Somalia needs rain, the way Bosnia- HERZEGOVINA needs a nickname, the way France needs a slap. At least 90 per cent of Canadians agree that we need, deserve and want an election right now. The other 10 per cent considering the majority gov- ernment we elected in the last one, believe the right to vote should be taken away from the Canadian people and given to their household pets. Little tiny goldfish showing prefer- ence to party-colored fishfood could not have done any worse than we did last time around. But we want to take another shot at the old ballot box and we're not getting it. Why? Let me count the whys. A drum roll please as we go to THE TOP TWENTY-FIVE REASONS WHY BRIAN MULRONEY WON'T CALL AN ELECTION -- - NUMBER 25: kind of admires the way Noriega and Saddam gov- by William Thomas TOP 25 REASONS WHY P.M. WON'T CALL ELECTION erned without one. - NUMBER 24: company that used to supply him with dice moved its operation to the States. - NUMBER 23: Mila has an appointment every Tuesday from now until 1994 at Maison De Bangs in Montreal. - NUMBER 22: waiting for an American holiday when stores are closed so there's enough people in this country to make an election legal. - NUMBER 21: miffed by the trade rumors of him to Moscow for Gorbachev and a goaltender named Valerie. - NUMBER 20: when Tory HANG TOUGH economic campaign was announced last month majority of Canadians requested they drop the TOUGH. - NUMBER 19: job he's dreamed about all his life not available as Quayle refuses to be bumped off ticket. - NUMBER 18: knows he must first solve the Quebec debacle, but Lindros still refusing to sign. - NUMBER 17: believes the latest poll showing frostbite to be more pop- ular than he is among Canadians of voting age. - NUMBER 16: still steamed at Time Magazine's 1992 forecast nam- ing him as "The Man Most Likely To Concede." - NUMBER 15: wants to use same election slogan as last time -- JOBS! JOBS! JOBS! but TRABAJO! TRABAJO! TRABAJO! loses someth- ing in Mexican. - NUMBER 14: wants to kickoff campaign where he's very popular; but street violence not subsiding in The Ukraine. - NUMBER 13: re-routing the Keith Spicer $25 million back into campaign chest takes time. - NUMBER 12: protocol requires he get Royal Accent but George Bush not returning his phone calls. - NUMBER 11: asked closest advis- ers if wearing a flower in his lapel would enhance image and word came back "Try Hemlock!" - NUMBER 10: needs six more months to bring Canada to zero employment so nobody has to take time off work to vote. - NUMBER 9: with his track record in government, doesn't see what he could accomplish in the private sector that Robert Campeau hasn't already done. - NUMBER 8: waiting for populari- ty now at 11 [his lucky number] to drop to nine and one half [his shoe size). - NUMBER 7: every time he throws hat in the ring, somebody mis- takes it for commode. - NUMBER 6: can't decide which of his faces to put on campaign poster. - NUMBER 5: not comfortable with campaign question: "ARE YOU BETTER OFF NOW THAN YOU WERE IN THE 1930s?" - NUMBER 4: waiting for our health care programs to be completely wiped out so he can do a pills for votes deal with the elderly. - NUMBER 3: doesn't like his chances as a private citizen, short of security living among people with long memories. - NUMBER 2: democratic history shows that elections do not turn a profit. And here it is, NUMBER ONE, the real reason why Brian Mulroney will not call an election: fears that with Preston Manning in the race, he'll be the first leader in the Western World to finish fourth in a three-party system! Remember When ? HISTORIC PHOTOS COURTESY SCUGOG SHORES MUSEUM Pictures for the cover of Vogue? We're not sure, but this young model is picture perfect in this series of photos. Unfortunately, the name of our lovely model is unknown. The pictures, which are now part of the museum's artifacts, were part of the McLaren Estate. 45 YEARS AGO Thursday, March 13, 1947 Seventy students of Port Perry High School travelled by bus to Toronto to compete in the Kiwanis Music Fest. Four choirs competed and Port Perry received second place in the standings. Mr. Crane, principal, and Mrs. Elsie Dobson were pleased with the performance. Scugog has been isolated from the outside world for nearly two weeks due to severe weather. Food for stock commenced to run low and people at the Foot made a road to the lake and were able to get to Port Perry with teams. It took four days for 20 men to break through approximately a mile and a quarter. 35 YEARS AGO Thursday, March 14, 1957 At the first annual dinner for the Port Perry Chamber of Commerce the guest speaker was Mr. Harold Kenneth Hillier of the Hydro Electric Commission of Ontario. Miss Donna Johnson, Pine Grove, obtained honors on her Grade III Harmony examination. She is a pupil of Mrs. Ted Jackson. Epsom Bush League hockey team won the series. Bruce Heaslip, Blackstock, resigned from the hospital board and was replaced by Art Hyland. Port Perry Junior Girls basketball team, coached by Miss G. Brock, eliminated teams from Stouffville and Burks Falls to win the COSSA championship. 30 YEARS AGO Thursday, March 8, 1962 Reeve J. J. and Mrs. Gibson and Mr. and Mrs. Jack Hope were among 127 passengers who were taken off the plane at Malton airport during a recent bomb scare. Bruce Ballinger of Port Perry High School was awarded the best actor prize in the Drama Festival for his role of Cacsar. Mr. and Mrs. Ed Weeden, Manchester, have moved to Port Perry. 25 YEARS AGO Thursday, March 9, 1967 The 1st Port Perry "W.M. Letcher" Rover Crew 1s sponsoring a concert by the Northlandia Concert Band in the High School auditorium. More than 100 guests attended the Hospitality Hours at Club Annrene and enjoyed dancing to Gene and His Starliners after dinner. Glyn Beddows, R. R. #1 Blackwater, was the lucky winner of a radio at the official opening of Cy Wilson Ford Sales in Manchester. Ontario Provincial Police Constable David lan Godley recently graduated from the OPP College in Toronto after successful completion of the PLEASE TURN TO PAGE 8 Letters io the editor Took offence to cartoon To the Editor: Mr. Dolighan: I had to take offence to your editorial cartoon on page 6 of the March 3, 1992 issue of the Star. I believe I can safely state that less than one per cent of all vehicles parked by General Mo- tors employees in Oshawa park- ing lot are not built by The Big Three in North America. CHEX television in Peterbo- rough once had a small report on what they call the "trickle down effect" of the autoworker. Quite simply they estimated that every autoworker on the payroll indirectly helped to sup- port five more people in the economy of their local communi- ty. These five could work in a grocery store, a hardware store, a clothing store, a gas station, a restaurant or for good measure I might even add the local news- paper. I'm sure Mayor Hall had this in mind when he journeyed to Oshawa to meet with a dozen other mayors from the sur- rounding area. These mayors drafted off a letter to "high man- agement" in Detroit on our be- half. They have my gratitude. Mr. Dolighan, I fully under- stand satire and usually enjoy it. This time you've kicked me in the teeth when I'm already hurting. I don't like that. Please try to use more compassion in the future. Thank you, Larry Werry, Prince Albert, C.AW. Chastises 'litterbug" To the Editor: Dear Litterbug: You know, the girl who lives on "a" beach road in Port Perry. We would like to congratulate you on your excellent choice of dinner the other night. Steak and mushrooms. And we're so glad you patronize our Port Perry shops. Now that we feel we almost know you because you drink Molson Excel beer, smoke Players cigarettes and just opened up a new account at the Bank of Montreal plus, eat un- shelled peanuts by the hand- fuls. We would also like you to know that you are supposed to talk to the building department for a permit before commencing renovations. You may not have made the right choice by replac- ing your ceiling tiles with dry- wall, but the John Willmans pure-silk vinyl boarder was a super choice! We would love to come over sometime to see your newly renovated home and how it looks. We really think you must live very neat and tidy with all your debris gone from your renovations. But one thing we cannot un- derstand is why you would drive all the way to the second concession of Scugog to dump your garbage! Sincerely the "Concerned for Scugog Township" family who spent one hour sifting through your garbage to find your name, address and unlisted telephone number. P.S. May all the garbage in Scugog ditches end up on your lawn! Name withheld Ti TI ra me